living in movement
i love life momentarily.
driving up and down hills, valleys orchards...
all pretty things.
i see all the animals surviving with urban decency.
i see all the kids running down from school in nostalgic delicacy.
i want to touch this feeling.
traveling in a way that i forget myself and i become a stranger not only to the world but to my own senses.
a chance for me to forget life itself and let me swim in unleashed freedom.
watching eagles fly and butterflies rest on every other flower i love watching life in its seemingly perfect balance.
talking to strangers i have forgotten anxiety or fear.
sliding down rocks and morbidly enjoying the piece of  "living" my bleeding knee has sparked.
old eyes.
i don't need to know the language to understand.
i listen to life stories and chuckle at the luck i've stumbled upon having another person spill out their life's burdens and joyous moments.
i think this is how it feels to live in the present.
homeless became such a exotically beautiful word lately.
soaking in the blossoming sun, for a second i float in time and feel ageless like life and its rules don't exist anymore and only this second exists circling around the ivory clouds.
i want to live like this.
free.

I gripped my steering wheel so hard
my knuckles turned white.
I blew through the yellow traffic light
just as it turned red.
65 in a 45, speeding faster and faster
dodging the slower cars.
Everything was a blurry mix of light and dark.
That one message sent
me into a frenzied fit of anger and nothingness.
I imagined myself
crashing my car into the light post to my right.
Instead I slowed down,
and turned left into my neighborhood.
I have no one
to confide these thoughts within my mind.
He's on the phone
with her, and I don't care enough about me or anyone
to drive safely anymore.
I guess that's what I get for reckless driving.

Rain pours down on the windshield,
and leaves rustle in my wake.
It is still cold, the air clinging to the crispness of winter,
but I roll my window down
and feel the pitter-patter of droplets.
Breathe deep the clean essence of life.

Spring is here. And joy begun anew.
All is possible. All is simple once more.

2:04am
fast car on repeat, I close my eyes

I see little me dancing around the table,
little me looking out the rainy window- waiting for you to come home

isn't it amazing that 19 years later
fast car still reminds me of that day

Driving down some endless road, one littered with memories and bones.
Glancing out the driver's window lends the perfect view.
Shards of glass grace this highway's eyes, as the rubble garners it's long tortured life.
But amongst the garbage, trash, and filth lies a poem lost at sea.
A lonely hubcap lay on one side of the road, blink an eye and it'd be gone.
How many miles had it traveled, along with it's trusted wheel?
How many adventures had it turned, before the earth shook it free?
Now it lives alone, no wheel to call it's home.
The endless highway continues as the sun begins to set.
The hubcap night grows ever near, a bitter loneliness every driver fears.
Until that time they must drive on, always circling their trusted friends whom they rely on.

I’ve gone and done
something dumb
again
you can’t love me,
but what if
you do?
you look at me,
I *******
crumble
your eyes on me
making me
want you
knowing I won’t have you
probably not ever
now I’ll sit in my car
I’ll pretend forever
you want me too