dearly departed,
this is a word from the brokenhearted.
you slipped away
as was your right
but the ghost you left behind
still lingers in my mind..

Lurking in the dust
           Shattered memories of love
                             A love lost with time

If you can wait till
I get home
Then I swear to you
We can make this last

I know
I can't give you everything
I know my heart to cold to care
But for once  
I know how it feels to be loved

I know you can't wait
Through everything
But is this really happening
I swear I'll never be happy again
Don't you dare say we can be freinds
I'm not some boy you can manipulate
We knew this would happen eventually

I met you
My whole life changed
At first it was good
Then we took a turn for the worst
Im broken hearted
Full of tears
I spend my days missing you
Waiting for you
Asking myself if its worth it
If you love me
Second guessing myself

i love you
i love you
i love you
it feels like i'm screaming into a void
why won't you say it back?
never mind
i get it
i don't love me either

i'm just a rusty knife stuffed in the back of a drawer whose occupation is collecting dust. everything i do sounds like nails on a chalkboard but i don't care, it's not like i can change it anyway. there's a sour taste in my mouth that tastes a little like ***** and a lot like the acrid words i keep to myself. i'm choking on the smoke left behind by a broken promise that's burnt itself all the way down. the lacerations on my wrists may have healed but the scars will always remain like the hole you left in me. i'm rotting away in my room but it's not like i belong anywhere else so i guess it's okay.

i'm sorry i ever bothered and i'm sorry i ever tried. it's not like you gave a **** about me anyway, you made that pretty **** clear when you decided to abandon me.

fernweh is a german word that means to be a homesick for a place you've never been, so i wonder what you call missing someone who was never yours.