With the sun invested in your patience,
You get so cold when you are breaking
So silence and I exchange nonsensical chats
as silence waits to draw the curtains
and I wait for you to handover your ache
to my extended hand

Finally I'm accepting this
how love can be this harsh?
I love when it moves away from me

Behind this hardness I laugh
and I erased myself for it
now it's questioning me that am I asked to wait?
It's your fault for your destruction

His heavy wings fly away finally
my stem branches left alone
but beautiful flowers bloomed when I let it go
I envy this beautiful flowers on me
I'm so kind to them
I'm so in love with them
don't come to make me heavy
in this rain

Oh my love is blind
It let you go far away of you want
In this night.

Hand keys
To my heart
What a start
To another fatal
Chapter
After
The utter shatter
And the picking up again
Love’s abusive
Friend
Sadist archer
With fiery arrows
And a gate I can’t defend
Keys missing
This may be my
End
Before I’m even beginning
Key tucked safely
In your hands
And my stupid mind
Thinks I’m winning
Final inning
And I’m coming
Up
Short
No retort
Here I am again
The ubb
And dubb
Of a key
Made of me
I’m in love
I’m lacking
I pierce
Shattering
Smattering together
The same chorus
Forever
In offering of lovers
Like livers
That keep growing
Back
Back to the rock
And in offering
I lack
Maybe it’s me
But in order
To be free
I must offer my key

Heartbreaking and entering

Shes breaking inside,
Leaving behind shattered fragments of who she used to be.
Hes lost but following,
A trail of something deep with no end that he can see.
Hes closing in on her,
As is her fear.
But she lead him to a destination,
Without knowing it is here.
And now he has arrived,
With the piece
That will transform them
Into a masterpiece.

my mother is like the queen
she is the queen of everything
but in the sense that all that matters is reputation and
i am merely a means to an end.

i am the pawn on the chessboard
and she likes to play with her pawns carved out hollow,
brittle shells on the edge of breaking.
she likes the power of holding a fragile heart in her hands
to nurture and then destroy as she sees fit
for her own entertainment.

is it still my fault i turned out the way i am?

Sometimes I am driven to a state of utter insanity by the incredulity of my own self.
How shamelessly I stand waiting under the sun looking up to the sky as if a sudden love would fall from it!
I scratch my own wounds making a fresh pain out of them to live through.
Was I not done with the devastating breakdown of my heart not many a while ago?
But like a woman hypnotised I am feverish with a new hope-This time a wish for burning.
Brokenness was bitter,I console myself but what if burning feels better.
I will play with the flames, dance with its passion,let it get into my body like a ghost and then die down along with it as ashes.
Maybe I am on the verge of doing much more than what my mind can accept.
But you know once you taste of love, you will always want more of it.

No matter whether it causes a breaking or a burning.

I looked
at my heart
asking it,

how is it possible
that I can love again?

and my heart's
only response
was a beat,

turns out that
all along
I had been breaking
because I was still alive,
my body was fighting
for me,
even when it felt
like I was dying.

I left to defend our home,
I left to defend what was right,
But when I came back,
I was broken
                         and you knew.

You saw the fires of passion,
The light of my desires,
The warmth of my smile.
Yet when I came back they were gone.

You knew that what I'd seen,
What I had done
In those rolling hills of sand and rock
Broke me, and yet you did nothing.

I gave my heart and soul to you,
You gave me a child with it.
But now I don't know.
Whether it was mine or not.

You were my home,
Yet when I came back
You turned around and closed the door.
Now I look through a window.

And watch as my daughter
Doesn't even recognize me.
She's afraid of me
And I don't know why.

And that.
That is what leaves me shattered.
It makes all those horrors come alive.
Everything I thought I had left behind.

I don't see myself in the mirror,
I see what I was,
I see all the people whose lives
Ended with the reflection in my eyes.

I see my brother's and my sisters,
Not by blood but by Creed,
I see the innocents that caught
Between us and those against us.

And I can see the pity in their eyes.
Now I know who really got lucky,
It wasn't me but them.
For they don't have any worries.

They left those for the ones who survived,
They cried as they left us,
I cried because I couldn't save them,
And now I cry because no one can save me.

My resolve becomes thinner each day,
I stopped myself once,
But my time is near.
I will join you soon.

For there is nothing left for me here.
No loved ones left.
No one who would chase away my demons.
No one to anchor me.

This is no longer my home.
But I'll be there soon...
I loved you more than you know.
This will be my goodbye...
                                                 One day.