Standing on the hillside
Stilled winds blanket my skin
I close my eyes and embrace
Worms born of skies and clouds
Blank are the colors they inspire

Lying on the hillside
Earth's feathers caress my limbs
I close my eyes and imagine
My bed sinking beneath the ground
Under may I breathe better than above

Falling down the hillside
Sunless upon the town, small and wilting
I close my eyes and remember
Sensations akin to this, akin to innocence
Come the end of my fall, will either of us stand?

Before this old hillside
A body still as corpses about the air
Open eyes shimmer, puddles of rain
Ashes, dirt and dust swim about this sprawled figure
Clothing for naught, now flesh sings with Her whole

Feeling the fear, of feeling alone
I turn to liquid in crystal stone.
I pour the acid into my cup.
And pray to God that I have enough.

Alone again, freezing as my body burns,
Seeking the devil for which I yearn.
I swallow the ghost, haunting my mind;
And breath new life through dilated eyes.

Holding on to a crescent moon,
Called into life by my blackened spoon.
I feel the demon, his needle fangs,
Inject himself in my flowing veins.

Higher now than ever before,
She knows just what her body's for,
Feigning love, for just one night.
I'm still alone; but for now I feel alright.

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

rotting away, limb by limb
"how come you never talk?"
no one's listening
"but you're liked and loved"
and still I feel so alone
a kingdom to myself
isn't a place to call home
the trees are mad
ripping apart their hair
lifelessly laying, a shortage of air
the birds are glaring ominously
at me, a biased perception or reality?
animals are limping, moaning for love
while cupid's head dangles inside of my tub
I'll show you my hands, indeed they are red
guilty I'm not, only sick in the head

Wind whips through my hair
Sending it like a cat of nine tails
Across my face

I smile on

A foam of gray spreads its wings above me
So different from the blue of yesterday

Bleak brown figures reach
Their bare arms towards me
Begging for the coverings they have shed

I glance down, and rise up
A shiny black surface smiles at me
How odd that the chariots that ride it
Are so rusty
And unadorned
Unlike the solid ground
I once rode on
Gray and ugly, but ridden by shiny, beautiful things
Almost as if to say that the most beautiful
Things are found at the lowest point

Sky above me
Trees around me
Ground beneath me
Blood inside

Take me to a summer where
Glory will in my eyes shine

Lost in the chaos
alone in the crowd.

I don't know who I am anymore;
since you've gone so much has changed.

Everything is unfamiliar,
everything is gray.

Days have passed with not but a smile on my face.
I pray to God
this day,
to give me grace.

This life so long
so bleak.
This Misery so real,
so harsh.
These days I don't know who I am,
most nights,
dreams hide and tears stream.

How to move on
when you're so far away?

Lost in the misery
alone in the chaos.
I drown in the loneliness,
I agonize through these dark times.

Tell me love,
when is the dawn?

I do seek bliss in books
And I keep on wondering
How does it feel
To read in the prison
Being inside of
A wall with railings
And a singular bed
Having the bleak mood
With sporadic atmosphere
But i conclude that
If you commune into passion,
It would still enrapture you as ****.
(J.a.t.m)

he awareness of a broken adolescence, when you know that it has slipped away into the sea

Oh how it becomes

When you look to the roads, and see they aged, cracks among the asphalt and despair in the colors

Oh how it becomes

Looking to your hands, to see how withered they became, to look at your face and see the sunken eyes

To sit in sadness among the lonely ghosts, to swallow of the sorrow of forced adulthood, to have blood seep from your smile

Oh how it becomes

To not deserve the despair of your broken childhood, to not have been the victim of the devils that befell you

It is a depression that truly never leaves, it is a anger that lines the grey of your skull

Oh how it becomes

But it gives a resolving strength, it gives the hide of the rhinos anger
It gives the resilience of rebellion, it gives the determination of future

Oh how it becomes

In the darkness it seemed you lived, how you live in the fog of the past
But you gain light to break it away, to walk with anger to futures of hope

Oh how it becomes