Is self-awareness of
my emotions and thoughts
necessary
to improve my emotions and thoughts
into wisdom
about how to achieve
my joy and happiness?

When I fear to say
to myself
what I fear to say
to others,
I insist on expressing
in the privacy
of my own mind
what I feel and think;
and I remind myself
that self-awareness
of my emotions and thoughts
enables me
to evaluate my level of happiness
and strive to improve
my level of happiness.

There comes a time at night
when I am too tired to pretend
to be what others want me to be
and can be only myself;
late night is a time
when it is easier to discover
who I am.

When people say
“I know you”
what does that mean?
Do they have a concept of you
in their mind
which they have reified
as their reality?
Does the real you
exist only in the minds of others?
Or, are you something
which precedes the concepts of others?
Is the authentic you
only discoverable by you
by introspective self-awareness
and self-discovery?

I'm ready for war
I'm ready for war
Let's start the campaign
Send me out on my tour

A challenge to those
up ahead and before
Struck me hard in the face
Knocked me down on the floor
A pathetic disgrace
Left me ****** and sore
Want so bad: I can taste
Change what happened before

I'm not knocking this time
Gonna kick down that door
You'll get yours; I'll get mine
Trust me, this much is sure
Can't explain or define
A disease without cure
Sweet revenge comes to mind
Want to open that door

But inside I will find
Same mistakes as before
Time to leave that behind
I can be so much more
Won't succumb; Not this time
Like a lion I roar
Life has costs; Paid the fine
I've been given the tour

One directive - 'be kind'
Having this, never poor
'Cause my pockets are lined
Can not buy at the store
Pierces through window blinds
Bubbles up from the floor
Search not needed to find
Fills me up in my core

All the planets aligned
A lost ship finding shore
Couldn't see 'cause it's blind
Spent my life looking for
Granted gift when it's time
A full rainbow is poured
Open heart; Open mind
To the heavens I soar

sometimes I wish I had cancer
then people would send me flowers, and get well soon cards.
but I am bipolar
so when I am sick
I suffer alone, ashamed
because too many times
people synonymously use my illness for crazy.

-please stop

I am appreciating this process, and awareness

a feeling without definition

a knowing that cant be expressed

As these words collide
Thoughts inside my mind
My head nearly divides
There is no self to find

Only marvelous music and mystery
Carnivals, cruises, and Krispy Kreme
A light I cannot see
A sound that cannot be
Crashing creativity

Thoughts spring into spirals
Drifting, translucent antivirals
Late arrivals to the scene
Unrivaled and pristine
Some vile and obscene
All the while, I’m serene

Words fly by me and filter slyly
Winding and wily, slurring and smiley
They drunkenly wander to the foreground
I suddenly wonder why I said them aloud