There is a time these feelings come back so intensely. On other times... they are a passing thought. I don't blame it on the lack of care but... I tried to want, I tried to wait, to be here... the space given couldn't even accommodate the start of what I actually felt.
I am at a point where I let part(s) of myself go. Those that I outgrow and don't work for me no more. It is black, white, grey, blue... many are colors of hope, some are those of pain.
I know... A woman's gotta live, and when she is drowning, she has to fight here way up and allow herself to breath again.
She then finds a safe home within herself before looking for it in other people and places.