To most breathing is a natural thing.
The body must take in air to stay alive.
I though sometimes forget.
My body forgets how my lungs work.
Then I shut down.
No air enters my system.
You are not breathing.
Trying to catch my breath.
Yes I am fine.
Until panic sets in.
Panic attack makes it harder to breath.
God I'm so ugly when I cry.
Kristen made that go through my head.
Telling me that countless times.
I need to stop crying.
I need melody.
She helps me when **** happens.
It's okay just go to class.
The teacher will let you go to the bathroom for a minute.
I walked quickly on the verge of tears.
Eyes red and puffy.
This is how someone would react if they got dumped by their lover.
Not because they couldn't breath.
I locked eyes with rianna.
Oh ****, now she knows I'm a wimp.
Crying when I can't breath.
Almost to class when the bell rang.
Can I use the bathroom I said.
Yes grab the pass.
T
R
I
G
G
E
R
That caused a full panic attack.
The simple words allowing me to go to the bathroom caused me to break down.
The teacher looked at me.
What's going on sweetie???
She asked concerned.
C-can't breath!
The school nurse came and walked me down to her office.
Your okay she said.
Now tell me what has been going on?
I can't breath!
Yes more specifically.
I ran and couldn't breath then I had a panic attack.
Yes this is my life.
Barely breathing sometimes.
Having panic attacks over little things.
This is how I live.

Heart racing
Head pounding
Lungs seizing
Muscles shaking
Music blaring
Hands grasping
Eyes crying
Fear grabbing
Limbs numb
Keep breathing
in,out,in,out
Hyperventilating
Mind gone
Then it's over
Standing up
Shaking knees
Stomach in knots
Face red
Breath catching
Mind buzzing
Embarrassment flooding
Deep breathes.

Cry your eyes out, dear
Mix into puddles and streams
Shaking with fear and
Crushing the ground beneath your feet.
Scream your lungs out, dear
Yell for he who hurt you
Tear into his flesh with your teeth
Have no mercy.
Hide no longer, dear
Walk our streets without fear
Keep your head held high
But keep your eyes down.

The damage you cause for me,
With that I can learn to live.
But don't you dare bestow that pain,
To outsiders who only give.

You weave a nasty web within this house,
Everyone follows your cruel law.
I won't let you give that pain
To an outsider whose emotions are raw.

I can tell when someone has endured enough,
When they have felt bad feelings,
And I won't let your destructive addiction,
Destroy this person's process of healing.

Mama bears don't turn their claws on their cubs,
So stop using that excuse to condone your actions.
Or believe me, you weak woman,
You will get an undesired reaction.