I Remember
When you came to tuck me in at night
The scent of fresh sheets puffing air at my face
And tugging my toes
As you pulled them to my chin

Your fingers poking my body
tickling as you packed tight
Your beloved boy
Warm in his cocoon

Your lean
As you placed your prayerful loving kiss
On my forehead
Leaving its heart to guard my sleep

I love you really
I just forgot how to
Now I remember

I'm home so don’t worry or miss me
Know  this love is real
For you and I

A mother and son

N o
    n
    e

I am not born sad
To learn happiness
Or dumb in the quest for knowledge
It is all I
All knowing all not knowing
From beginning to another
The lover and the loved
Over flowing in my own cup of understanding

I’m not an orphan in my mothers arms
I may abandon her but she never abandons me
I can not separate myself from my own creation
The ocean from its waves
I’m not innocence to lay guilt upon
Or a voice talking itself into being heard
I play in the game I am making

I may chase my own tail
To the ends of time
Still  I will begin
Where I am
In this body
Before I began
Nowhere I know
Everywhere
All at once

I am summoned into court
The month of September
Being transgender is the trial to be fought
The jury doesn't know how to handle the situation
And nothing is fought

I am summoned months later
The year of 2016
Being transgender is why I'm there
The jury hasn't overcame their pain
And no solution to the chain

Years later I am summoned to court
A stage in my life I couldn't ever see
Being transgender is the reason
The jury has come to an agreement
That it's okay to ease in

When my sun is hidden, I must rely upon on my moon’s shine.
When my chakra is askew, I must realign.
Learning the things I already knew.
They flew over my head
cause I’m cuckoo.

I was a lawful good
Boring, obsessive
Neurotic
But still good

I started leaning away
Let go of the rules
I became neutral good
I’d bend or break the order
But in the end
I’m still good

Maybe I’m even pushing
Into chaotic good
And maybe I’m okay with it
I like it
And overall
My heart is
Still good

So when you say
I’m not myself
You mean I’ve dropped the structure
Released my grip on order
And that’s what I needed
Maybe I’ll bend it a little far
Maybe create a bit of chaos
But that’s okay
I’m still me
I’m still good

The alignment of us, is better here.
Our freedom is welcome everywhere,
The engineer pulls us apart,
What then?
Our statement is clear,
Our body seeks healing,
Our mind sets it’s will,
The monument is too big.
It won’t ever be real.