The night I left
I removed my heart
and put it in your chest

Now I wonder sometimes
if you can still feel my love
flooding in your veins

I'm climbing this mountain
even though it scares my skin,
and turn the breath that I exhale
into a cloud that spells a name.
A name I'm not allowed to hail
or it will keep on echoing.
Now the wind kept on whispering
to just leave the mess I'm in
because it knows that I'll fall again
and go back to the beginning,
and it'd be easier if I just let go
the painful grip of this solid rope.
I don't see a glimpse of hope.
Good thing I wore an extra coat
even if I look like a joke.
I won't think to walk away
but now the sky is turning grey,
the ground I'm on starting to fade,
the stars above start to awake,
the moon says it's now too late.
I know it's fate to fail to get on top
but still I'll fight, for faith will not.
Then, tonight the wind just stopped.
Now it's silence that whispers "stop".
It begs for me to let me drop.
I start to ask myself on why,
and what's waiting on that height.
If I reach the top tonight-
I would forget the name, I might.
Although unsure, it's worth the try.
So I then pull with all that I can.
This time I chose not just to stand.
This time I might just win this one.
I can feel excitement in my hand,
Everything is going just as planned.
With so much determination,
fortunately, the sun is on horizon.
To add, I chanted all my motivation,
every word that I know is inspiration.
"Rejection", "Redemption", "Salvation",
"my friends", "my hobby", "my family ",
I went on until I accidentally
said the word that was keeping me
from ending this entire journey.
Your name, your name so heavenly!

The ground I was on became icy flat,
the sky darkens and began to spat,
the wind angrily began to flap.
I tried to hold myself intact
but the rope I held began to snap.
I screamed but there was no sound.
I couldn't see below, the ground.
Is this my end, the final round?
Well at least I die being proud
that I fought despite all my doubt.

Then I wake up, body in pain.
Why am I here, is this the way
to where I'm wanted by my brain?
I don't see any road nor highway.
All that is here is this rope and this mountain.

I´ ve lost the count
of sleepless nights
when dark window
mirrors my face
I no longer recognize
without you
I am nothing

Once in my lifetime i wasn’t happy with my self and who I’ve became weak, sad, depressed, I felt worth less angry, and alone just because one person that I fell for made me feel so low about my self never again will I ever let some one put me down to the point where I drop my crown never again will I ever not know my worth !

We're a world and generation set on depersonalization
Where everything is on social media but everyone is scared to socialize.
We all promise we "just need to vent" but is it venting or is it depression?
"He loves me, he's just tired. Its not abuse, she's just tired. I'm not okay, I'm really tired."
We all need to stop and chill without the help of benadryl.
But we need the drugs to feel normal.
A normal that they tell us to be
on the covers of our magazine
When we are all medicated to achieve the status quo
We can't learn from our mistakes if we can't remember them.
Instead of dealing with the guilt,
we soak in a bath as if the lavender suds will rinse away our ****** personality
We do it nightly and call it self care.
And the self care we really need is lunch that isn't Oreos and to join therapy.
We fill the empty hole inside of us with cigarettes and ***** and food
And we don't even know we're empty because our parents are empty too
And the only ones who can recognize the absense
Are the same ones telling us to work harder to buy our first house and car before the age of 25
When really, we haven't even settled on what we want to be when we grow up
Our grandparents and parents beg us to have babies because "I'm not getting any younger."
But I'm quickly getting older Dad, so shut up and let me drink until I pass out without worrying about how much my child will have to heal from, just like I'm healing now with Bacardi 151.
Its a cycle and there's no handle bars
Celebrities writing songs and movies, a fill-in-the-blank series that mimics a horoscope
To drag in the masses with feelings of unity when really we have no idea what our brother went through when we were laying on our uncle's bed at midnight at 5 years old.
They want us to be the same except for when its not convenient, and suddenly the children of rich people are to be scorned but they hate the black people who hate the black rich people
And its another cycle, the chain popped off and the brakes are our feet
Just like when we were kids except now we have no shoes on and we are rolling down a hill that stops at a lake
And our empty parents forgot to teach us how to swim.
Its 2019 now, when will  America be great in the first place?

finally I can write again
I let the words flow
even though the sentences don't
make sense and the quality is low.
The poems might be
not so perfect,
lovesick & over-dramatic
but I started writing again
and I'm proud.

Will I ever love again?
Or be afraid to fall .. all the love is in me and I give it to myself but to keep holding back how I feel in case of a mishap I wonder if I’m safer that way
I know myself and I know I can get attached easily so In order to protect myself I have to detach a bit not get my heart fully involved if the person can’t commit. I always know what I’m capable of and I don’t know about others . I’m still young and I’m still learning ..

Sing sing sing me a river
And I will learn to listen
Flow flow flow like an ocean
And I will learn to swim
Dance dance dance me
A rainbow and I will love again

I wanted it to work so bad...
And you wanted my last name.
It seemed like a perfect ended being set up for failure with me to blame.
Oh my god but you were sweet, so gentle and so thoughtful.
How could I hurt you and your rosy cheeks, now my life’s story feels like a plot hole.
I keep writhing in pain and fear of regret.
Your curly dark hair darkens what reflects.
When I look at my self,
I see what I did to you,
How I put hope in your crying eyes.
There was so much I wanted to do with you,
But I couldn’t go on, I couldn’t keep holding you and surrounding us in lies.
Your glistening blue eyes that pulled me in won’t lose their glow so fast.
You’ll be pulled in like the rest into the great wonders of my dreamscape mess.
I hate that I’m saying this again, but...

Please don’t hate me,
Please remember me.
I will remember you.