I could sit and stare for hours
Dark blue abyss
Strange creatures glide
Am I looking in
Or are they looking out?

Sorrowful stars look down upon my shaky smile
By yawning a hello is said
Looks like another night will pass
And I'm going to dream with my eyes open wide.

Behind a hill a raging storm
But down here is quite calm
Nothing to catch in the air
No mist, no inviting stares
Just loudness of the waves.

Resonating into the kitchen where a mother sits quietly
Drinking milk from a stained glass
Trying to forget about her younger days
She knows all there is will pass.

Resonating into another sleepless mind
That cannot find the key
Therefore just dies in chains
Ghost-like and not being able to see.

Resonating into the night
Further from this lonely canal
Further from my views and hills and dew
Further from this air
That brings nothing but the truth
Which is known for brutally killing the youth.

I fell deep into your abyss
drowning into lust
I swim yet your torrent
drag me down under.

Beyond my last breathe
I resign to sigh my regret
I died in your arms
Loving you was my sin.

I never thought waiting can be this painful.
It's like looking to the abyss,
ready to welcome the unknown.
How long will I wait?

Can I endure standing for a decade?
Can I just sit here under the moonlight and meet the next sunrise?
Can I swim for awhile and explore the depths of my thoughts?

I always thought I have been patient enough,
but my anxiety tells me that I am not.

So to live again, I need to breathe and endure the length of waiting.

If I close my eyes- my fears are my keep.
If I stay awake-the voices don't sleep.
My dreams and nightmares merge into one.
       Reality seeps into my safe space.
It's as if this world wants me to break.
I don't know what this world will make.
       I really think this time I'm done.
I really think this time- the thoughts I run from.
The thoughts I leave buried deep; will break through, and drown me in the abyss that is my life.
I am all out of fight.

I've fallen back into the abyss,
After swimming in a sea of light.

It's much darker here than I remember.

As the night grows darker,
Deeper go into the abyss I.
Circling thoughts of past
Threads of the future unknown
Fused with the time of present
Deeper go into the abyss I.

My eyes sees the journey through,
Oh how my body it grows.
Gliding over the blankness I go,
The soul reaching out to cosmos.

Scatters my body to particles infinite,
As I cover the distance in the dark of night.
Chasing the dark with the speed of light,
Deeper go into the abyss I.

Desolate
Deserted
No room for a quenching air-
Agape is the mouth
The dust now degraded
Leaving emptiness and despair-
Closing in to you
To confide in the dark
A whisper heard, still scared-
When you give all you have
To the bottomless pit
You’re left with it’s empty stare!
Deeply
Darkly
Death inhales!
“Your poison paints me black till I’m desolate,
frail!”

If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you. I know this to be true, even if the abyss is not necessarily anything outside myself. The abyss is simply, The Abyss. It is not within me or without me, it is just being. And I do gaze into it. I don't really take this to mean that I will become like my hates or enemies, as I believe that I have always been what I hate- my own worst enemy. I take this to say that The Abyss, for however long I look into it, also looks into me. It leaves marks on my soul; deep gouges made with stained black talons. The Abyss is many things, and also nothing at the same time. It is darkness, that is a given, it is also The End. It is The Apocalypse, it is The End of Time. The Abyss is the complete-stop-of-everything. Some people even believe that the surging water-deep of a literal abyss is Hell itself, though I think I know better. The Abyss is not Hell, because when your soul is released from your vessel, and you of course have committed sin, you do not go to The Abyss. Your soul does not forever reside in the Nothingness of The Abyss, your soul does not belong to it unless it belongs to you. Even so, after looking into The Abyss for a long period of time, it is hard to shake the feeling of its eyes on you. It can linger for days, and the restless, dreamless state that those eyes leave you in is hard to leave behind. As someone who is constantly staring into The Abyss, I find that it never quite leaves me. It's almost as if The Abyss has left some part of it inside me, within my very being. I can't hope to root it out without never seeing into The Abyss ever again, and I don't imagine that will happen any time soon. The Abyss has been a... comfort to me. The promise of Nothingness, of simply Not Being, has always appealed to me. This existence of mine has not been an easy one, but it has been growing on me. Even with the promise of Nothingness, I think that I will try and stay Existing for as long as I can. Existing has its perks of course. I get to think and feel and experience, and part of that Feeling is Love, which I believe may be the most important one of all. What is there, without Love?

That, I believe, is what The Abyss actually is. Lack of Love.

what is it ?
The mere thought of happiness that rushes through our veins,
When we see someone we love, our crush, our family, the sunshine,
If those were to fade away, a part of us would simply shatter, vanish,
Rain clouds would keep away the sunshine in our life the heavy wind would brush through our hair and remind us of such great tragedies,
like a sleeping terror, the chains of fate, the flow of time become;
Meaningless, without what has been blown away like ash by a breeze,
What you must not forget, will never lose, what wont change is...
The past, where your memories, our remarkable actions are living,
Hold them dear, these several rays of sunlight to keep the rain clouds away, to pull yourself together and shine beyond the scene, rise.
Even if you do lose all your strength and your muscles refuse to carry your beautiful soul trapped within the flesh of your very existence,
Even if you fall into an abyss of despair, devoured by regret.
As long as you are alive, you may as well do a change.
As long as you are alive, you can make the present joyous by striving for a better future, for yourself, for what you lost.
Live, for the love of light is for all to bare