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Niqolet Lewis Mar 2017
He stepped forward
said this was his one chance
to say what he had to say
That he wasn't there
but that he’s here now
and he’s got a lifetime to make up for it

He knew my fears before I spoke them
what is my truth
is it the kind that cuts and pillages
Because I have
and I do
I have robbed that old lady at will
I have broken through stained glass doors
I have rained fire upon all those who stood in my way
I have taken what I wanted
I have bent people at mercy
I have lied
I have promised
and I have broken
so ******* righteous
What makes you think you're like him?
What makes you think Im not?

He said She’s not like him
four generations of heart ache
Of miserable broken pairings
Four generations of devastation
he said you've saved her
You've saved this family

He said she's not like him
she wont run
She’s got a father like smoke
but she’s water
He Said she’ll stay
She'll be here till the end
There'll a wedding with two dresses
but one father
Because her's is gone
like smoke
He said my son is too selfish
You'll never find the peace you're looking for
so just don't go
He says he If he was a better father,
I would of had a better father
and I'd have a different life
I wouldn't need to be this person
but its too late
Because I am
and this is my truth now
You played your part
and now I guess I'll play mine
Shell of a Man Feb 2017
Depicted as an addict for your afflictions, emotionally evicted, my ****** expressions are cryptic
I am absent.
I am a shoe without a sole or a tongue, hung over lines for everyone to see
I am absent.
"Perhaps CAPS is the best place for you." As time elapsed I couldn’t grasp the concept
Replaced the laces with stems from flower vases, It’s less about the material and more about the release
I am absent.
Adept at adapting to your feelings even when I can’t feel a thing, I’m already a ghost
So why is my lack of spirit haunting me? The somber face in the mirror sends shivers down my spine
I am absent.
In my head I find serenity in screaming obscenities, but to your face I timidly say, "It’s fine."
I find serendipity in finite extremities, they seem to be the only thing I can understand
Just give me an ending in transcendent tendons, I am fingertip dependent with a penchant for physical tension because...
I am ---
There's this little part of me sometimes
Who wants to know her father,
But the real her does not
Because she knows the one she would want
Is the complete opposite of reality.
But you see that's fine, really,
Because she could never find him anyway.
Her mother chases her kids father figures away,
Except just now it seemed their dads
Were coming back for them.
But my father can never come back for me.
You can't miss what you've never had
And I've heard that saying for a very long time,
That man that I don't want to know,
The one I shed tears for as a child,
I doubt knows that I exist.
So he can't come and find me,
But if he could I doubt he would anyway.
So still I will just have to say:
That you can't have what you haven't got.
Àŧùl Feb 2017
Oh
Dear
Painter
Why have
You forsaken
Me altogether,
Why no tears?
In spite of all the grief,
In spite of all the sadness,
In spite of all the darkness,
In your heart forsaken me.
My HP Poem #1437
©Atul Kaushal
Sara Jones Jan 2017
Daddy can't you see just how bad you're hurting me
I've done what I can and poured out my heart
Trashed my mother and it tore us apart

Daddy can't you see just how much bad you've caused
For it know not of love and I can't see when it does
You've taught me a lesson that can't be unlearned

Daddy can't you see
How your actions in our time of being
Have tortured me
Martin Narrod Dec 2016
I hear the crash of the avalanche. Some keep time to its rhythm, there's a lot to do before it hits. I catch the swaying of snowflakes. I can hear the roar of the wind. Before they found benzene rings in the well, I could say who had broken a whole in the oil rig. Some found themselves staring at their faces, picking their destinies away, smoking themselves into a methamphetamine oblivion, until they cleaned the skin off of their faces. I hear the submarines starting in the South Fork, God's Riffle is under, so don't try to join them. Some speak until their lips are the color of bruises, some never speak because they're afraid of finding bruises trapped in their hair. America is spending in darkness. Knowing in foul tradition. Burning at the testicles, and calling in sick. Go home to Wyoming, drink your nuclear family into a white courtroom with a fickle jury of out-of-towners. Be on your best most calm behavior. The denim is up in the air, the snow is coming in shingles, the grizzlies and black bears are choosing which young they ought to hide.

I hear the cruelness of amphetamine users, through and through. You don't want to know them, I don't- I doctor up my circumstances so I don't drive ourselves crazy observing and swerving up and down and off the road. I am the Prince of Bell-Air. I keep my pockets oozing with four colors of black and nothing darker. Something is sharpening the beats of a generation, and no one is calling. Where are my friends in the darkness? I can hear their sides when they cough, but there is nothing like laughing in  glitter, aside from the wildness and toil of this dusk.
Joe Black Dec 2016
Am I taking it too far
Or you taking it too light
I don't know.
Sitting in hotel lobby,
Completely absent
Out of touch with reality
Deep in my mind
Thinking
Thinking over
Thinking about thinking..
Light up a cigarette?
Do some harm to self
To distract from all that
Rotational process of thinking
Thinking over
Thinking about not thinking..
Wondering to myself
Is it me taking it too far
Or there are different levels of thoughts in my head..
Thoughts about thoughts of thoughts..
It's quite tiresome
Nonproductive
Useless
Why can't it just stop?
Am I taking it too far
Or you simply don't give a ****..
Àŧùl Nov 2016
Amidst the days of life,
Lazing leisurely seldom,
Longing for company.

All I have is emptiness,
Lending me some smiles,
Or some happiness,
Not someone else,
E**verything is lonely.
HP Poem #1251
©Atul Kaushal
Daisy Arcos Jun 2016
"Happy Father's Day" is just another sentiment I've never bestowed in sincerity
To an absentee father who made me another statistic filed under "addict parents"
Carve another tick under the "single mothers" column
Can you tell which one is mine?

No child support
No birthday gifts
No Kodak moments
But plenty of drunken voicemails saying how you wish we were closer
To guilt me for the miles of repressed anger I placed between us

I will not bridge that gap nor forge a path between you and I
Because some bridges were meant to burn
And some hells were meant to freeze over
Fatima Siraj Jun 2016
It's unbelievable finding someone so similar to you
that you can almost feel your essence in them
it's rare; but the moment they touch your soul
through their words,
the way they smile- acknowledging you alone,
how the sound of your name
the most beautiful symphony sliding off of their lips
that unique and unspoken feeling of
knowing that somewhere –
someone,
amidst a hundred people,
has a single thought of you
that thought becomes almost within your reach
close enough to grasp
if you extend your arms at the exact moment
but that's the struggle isn't it?
that perfect moment; so invisible, so absent.

- F.S
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