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A jolt
A thought
A shudder
You feel all alone
Only one in the world
No one is there
No person is there around you
For you
When you are being surrounded
With smiles
But there is no one
Is the loneliest feeling in the world.
after party aftermath
Some people will never experience Berlin
Except through stories,
Have their thirst for the thrill quenched
Than by reading.
Close, but never close enough ;
I never saw that sunset,
Just the reflection of it,
And it was just as perfect.

Not all love stories have the happy ending
But that does not make them any less real
Than the real thing.
Your face exudes
Beauty and innocence
And the temptation
To trust is overbearing

Your lips part in alluring smile
But play with words
That whisper sweet nothings
Which should fall on deaf ears

Your eyes are glazed
With desire and longing
Yet are overshadowed
By deceitful intent

Your hands are delicately soft
And your caress so gentle
Yet your grip on my heart
Crushes like iron

The curves of your body
Hold me in trance and though
My mind screams in protest
I fall deep within you

The blatant truth slaps me in the face
But I cannot escape you
And I welcome your ruse
Just to press your body close to mine
They pull on me constantly
attack my worst fears
feed on my pain
feed on my tears
They drive me insane
the way they put bad thoughts in my head
I feel myself going under
I feel myself dying in this bed
I cannot wake myself up
no matter how hard I try
I cannot shake these feelings
I am destroyed in the blink of an eye
I do not know what to do
and no one will help me
maybe I should just accept this as what it is
and let it be.
-M.W.
 May 2017 Stfuitsjordan
Mary
The world isn't right,
I'm giving up the fight.
No demons 'neath the bed;
The only ones are in my head.
Lock the door, turn off the lights;
Cry myself to sleep tonight.
No one knows, no one cares;
They sleep beyond my many fears.
Death will come, blood in my gut;
Ready to make the final cut.
Scraping life from off the sea bed
So curiosity’s kitchens can be feed

Dragged from the ocean left gasping on deck
Pleading for mercy as a knife meets its neck

Gutter and iced, packed ready to serve
Who has the power to stop this, who has the nerve?

Now oceans are empty no life can be found
We now set our sights on the food above ground.

Who will we eat next?
Pages and pages
Of words for you
Words you'll never see
Or hear
Feelings you'll never know
The pain that deepens daily
While healing only faintly
When you write for an absent audience
You perform for yourself
My words may be for you
But I'm just working through my truth
Pages and pages
That one day will end
When the papers pile high
And the tears no longer fall
The ink will finally dry
And with it, my feelings for you
 May 2017 Stfuitsjordan
ryn
Aloof
 May 2017 Stfuitsjordan
ryn
I'm several
steps back

I'm watching
from afar

I'm trying
to make sense

But I'm just grabbing
at raindrops
with open palms
 May 2017 Stfuitsjordan
ryn
Normal
 May 2017 Stfuitsjordan
ryn
Uncomfortable within this skin.
My joints complain
and muscles scream.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."


My mind in shambles.
Ideas incoherent
and thought processes
sluggish at best.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."


My emotions are in
total disarray.
I'm not happy
yet I'm not anything at all.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."


My insides twisting,
splitting.
Every grain and fibre
set on fire.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."


If this is normal,
I'm petrified with
the prospect of
what isn't.
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