Every single time you say
Things you shouldn’t be saying
I’m breaking apart
Loosing the love I have for you from my heart

Nobody to talk to
Nobody to share
As I feel this pain
And stay here in despair

Each day I talk less
Cause it just adds to my stress
No way to express
No way to process

Maybe you love me
But you could never understand
How to bring out the happiness in me
And honestly just take a stand

One day I’ll walk away
And I won’t have much to say
Then there won’t be any saving the day
Cause thats the day I would’ve walked away

A decade

It’s been a decade
Since we met
With all these feelings that never seem to fade

It still feels the same
As if time stood still
And I’d call your name
While we meet up at that hill

I can’t touch you
Yet you’re here
This feeling so new
With lots of fear

You’re the story that I never told
Waiting for you to hold
And tell me that I’m so bold
As we continue to unfold

You’re so fair darling
You’re like a star
I can see your beauty from far away
I just want to be where you are

You’re so dreamy
You feel surreal
I don’t mean to be cheesy
But this is how I feel

So maybe I’ll see you one day
And maybe we’ll have another shot
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon
And I’ll give you everything I’ve got.

Each year, my life changes
Seems to get more strange
With the choices that were made for me
And with the ones I made

Life seems like a question
I can’t answer
The more I try
The more I wander

I lost my way
With every step, every turn
With nothing to say
Nothing to expect in return

The things I loved
And the things I did
The way I looked
And the way I felt

And now I’m trying to find my way back
But I can’t find the track
To what made me happy
And to what made me me

I’ve lost it all
Once again
With nobody to call
While I lay here in pain

I hope someday I can find my way back
And then I will finally unpack
Into arms that feel like home
And love that feels like known

If I die, what difference would it make?
Is there anything that we take?
When we leave and people that love us grieve

If I die, will you cry?
If yes, about what?
Tell me what you're thinking
All your thoughts

If I die, would you have any regrets?
I think this is as dark as it gets
Don't leave any words unsaid

If I die, how long would it take for you to move on?
I feel cold, I feel this emptiness from dusk to dawn
I'm here but I feel like I'm gone

The only time I feel purpose is when I make art
Lately that's the only thing I haven't been able to do
I don't know what to do
Where to go
Or what to say
Tell me why I should stay


What would you tell me if I told you I'm giving up?
What would you do if I asked you to let me go?
What would you say If I told you there's nothing I look forward to?

You know me better than anyone
I love you more than anyone
You came to me dressed in white
Like an angel, you made everything just right

We talk without words
They don’t know we have little key codes
Your beautiful eyes give me hope
Without your love, I don’t know how I would cope

You wake me up every morning
Oh sweetheart, you are so charming
Running around with your big old eyes
I get lost in your gaze

You told me today
That in 3 days it's Mother's Day
You asked me if I remember
There's no way I would forget my beautiful mother

You brought me into this world
Just by yourself you raised a little girl
You taught me to have a beautiful heart
Right from the start
You've sacrificed your life for me
So I could go to places I wanna see and the places I wanna be
You worked long hours
When we lived in that 15 story tower
You did everything and more
You are the one I extremely adore

You've been giving up for me
I still remember how much you love your morning tea
Well like they say, like mother like daughter
You got me into not being able to resist my tea

You're in my thoughts
Helping me connect the dots
You're in my actions
Every time I do what I love with passion
You're in my heart
Even though we are apart
You're on my mind
I love you with all my heart
Like you've done from the start

I'm holding on right now
Till the day I graduate
Man, I can't wait
Get by this one last year somehow

I don't believe in formal education
I believe in living life without caution
I'm an artist, I don't fit into a box
I can't even wear identical socks
Or be at the same place at the same time every week
I know I'm unique
Because of the experiences I've had
And the people I've met
I want to make art that changes lives
Create an impact that's makes someone want to thrive

I'm holding on right now
Till the day I graduate
Man, I can't wait
Get by this one last year somehow

I'm a junior in college
You might think I'm too young to know
What life is really about
But you don’t know me
Don’t measure who I am by my age
Let it just be a number and not a cage
To hold me down or act as an explanation
Of how I lack knowledge or dedication
The world is my stage
Don't limit me to a page
I'm filled with rage
I'm failing this class
I couldn't care less
A year from now
None of this will matter
I’ll move on to bigger better things
When I would be ready to fly and spread my wings

I'm holding on right now
Till the day I graduate
Man, I can't wait
Get by this one last year somehow

Sometimes certain moments get stuck
Sometimes I believe in good luck
I re live this morning in the afternoon
While I’m in the kitchen and you’re in the bedroom
We lay in bed and you pour your heart out
I look at your eyes and stare at your lips move
You tell me all the things you’re worried about
You look so beautiful even with the lights off
People who hurt you **** me off
We spend the days making art
And the nights making love
We try to make sense of this world
These rules and religions
You tell me things I’ve never heard of
So you take me for a walk, the most interesting one
Where you tell me even the tiniest thought
I feel proud and I feel blessed
Baby, I’m telling you I’m obsessed

Our one day’s have been becoming true
I love you with all my heart, I do
One day we’ll have it all figured out
Until then I’ll hold you and always hear you out

While I don’t like to make plans
I have plans with you
Of living our dreams
You know we make a kickass team
When I lose myself, you’re the one I look up to
I’ll marry you anyway you want me to
No matter the way or the venue
Name a city or a place I’ll be there in a second
I know you’re independent, but on me you can depend
I see why you’re worried
Forget everything and hold me tight, hurry
Life is very unpredictable
But my love for you is unconditional
I look out the window
And say it’s almost morning
Your face looks like a piece of art
As you lay there and push it against the pillow
I say people are getting ready to go to work
Living the 9-5 life
Something we could never do
We are artists like animals in the wildlife
Can't fit into no routines
We are humans and can’t work like machines

Our one day’s have been becoming true
I love you with all my heart, I do
One day we’ll have it all figured out
Until then I’ll hold you and always hear you out

I'm tired of this pain
I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of thinking
I'm tired of crying

I no longer wish
To be your friend
I no longer wish
For a beautiful the end

I'm letting go
Of everything I used to know
I'm letting go
Of everything we used to be

I'm holding on to just one thing
The lesson that you taught me
That people change and people leave
A person can go to nothing from everything
Relationships fade and lose meaning

So I'll smile while I can
Cry when I have to
I might as well enjoy this
While I have the chance to

I walked through the front door
Just got home
The only thing on my mind is you
As I start to feel sore

You are at home feeling sick
That takes away my ability to think
Asking God to give me all your pain
I’m certain I’m going insane

The world seems like it is crashing
Like an earthquake, my world is shaking
I am trying to keep my calm
But all my pieces begin to crumble down

I am standing naked in shower
The water is hot, but I feel cold
Every minute passing by feels like an hour
Prayers work when nothing does, I’ve been told

I continue to choke on my own breath
My phone rings and I get a text
I see your name, feel a sense of relief
You tell me you’re feeling better
So now I can finally breathe

I was standing naked in the shower
The water was hot, yet I was cold
Every minute passing by felt like an hour
I’m guessing prayers do work, I’m sold

Hitting the road again
New cities, new faces
These faces belong to these places
Nothing is ever the same

You ask me If I could swing by later
But I'm not staying the weekend
Learn to love and not be a hater
Good or bad, everything comes to an end

Riding in my car
Going from one state to another
My mental state of mind stays amazed
I'm going fast and going far
I'm trying to call my mother
I'm a squirrel lost in a haze

Capitol buildings and white carriages
Breaking laws or broken marriages
Different stories but the moral is consistent
I wanna be anything but persistent

Such a rush, such a high
I'm not even taking a rest or hitting the drive by
I was here in the morning
I won't stay here the night
It gets my blood flowing
My nerves popping
It's in the mystery and dark of the night

Once you get out there, you'll see how much more there's to see
You could be anyone you want to be
Walk in circles or ride a new cool bicycle
Loose a sense of direction
It'll help you gain a new perception
One idea could change the world
Turn everything around fast and make a swirl

You are like a piece of mirror
You show me how beautiful I am
But if you fall to the ground
And break into pieces that can't be put back together
That would be more like me
Broken, damaged and not fixable

He might not always say it, but he gets jealous too. He might not always show it, but he feels sad too. He might not always want to, but he'll do those things that you like for you. He might not always confess when he's a hot mess. Look at him, look into his eyes. Love him, look for the little signs. Study him like a goofy scientist would study about the galaxies far. Give him your undivided attention and give him everything he might want even if he doesn't mention. Give him the world and see. For once you do, he'll believe that sometimes things are meant to be.

Don't trust me
Each person I meet and conversation I have
I turn it into poetry

If you've ever been important
You've been in my words
You've been in my unfinished notes
You've been in my struggle to find the right words

If you never mattered
I never bothered
To capture you in my words
For when I do use my words
I stand still
My thoughts I spill
Time seems irrelevant
I'm no perfectionist, I always experiment

Don't tell I didn't leave a warning
I'm saying it out loud
Are you listening?
Don't trust me
Cause maybe at the end of the day
All that will be left of you will be poetry

You ask me why all these people look at me?
What is it that they see?

I keep moving forward
I dream big
I dream of dreams you don't even dream
I got no fears, I'm not a coward

I believe in me
It's alright if you don't see
I got power
You just sour
cause you aint me

You wish for a life like mine
Cause you don't see the struggle
I don't have quantity, just pure quality
There's pride in the hustle
I've a broken family
but I got friends that would fight the world for me
I got a man who loves me unconditionally

I have the confidence
They say it's in my walk and in my talk
It's about self-love, self empowerment
Believing in yourself enhances your elegance

You stare at me blankly
You stare at me constantly
I wonder what you're thinking
I don't even see your eyes blinking

Your eyes tell me you want me
Maybe just a part of me or my body
I see questions, but are we talking?
Is this called communicating?

I'm ******, sure I'm rude
You didn't think you're the only dude who stares
I feel this sensation of people looking at me everywhere
You got guts, I got the attitude

You look for a chance to be near me
Where do you think this is going?
You rush to a crowded elevator
None of your feelings I'm gonna cater

I got a man who loves me to the moon and the back
Can't wait to go home to him and lay in bed
He's my world, my fallback
So **** all your feelings
You'll never have me, keep dreaming

We play with each other like kids in second grade
So careless, never afraid
We sleep during the day
Stay awake at night

I curl my body into yours
Like a baby in it’s mother’s womb
Like a flower that is about to bloom
Like a baby caterpillar in its shell
So protected, guarded and secured
All my illness you have cured

I have yet to be a butterfly
Soar and fly high

I feel like I’m two
Years will fly by like seconds
And each second
An eternity with you

We take naps together
So innocent like a white feather
Your love gives me strength
It calms me down and gives me faith
Like the sunlight on a cold day
I’d always say
That I don’t believe you when you say you’re gonna stay

Im hot and I'm cold
You're hot and I'm old
Don’t believe what's told
Don’t speak just hold

You give me chills
Just hold stay still
If we were to chill
I'd miss you still

Im here to stay did you forget?
I guess you're stuck with what you get
You don’t believe me?
Lets make a bet
I learned to fly
Ill teach you steps
Soar through the sky
Land in Tibet

We’re not there yet
But we wont be late
What a match like faith and fate
It sparks a fire with love and hate

I hate you but I love you
Can’t see a world without you babe
I haven’t seen you since yesterday
We’ll be here tomorrow, lets just wait

Put your chin up and stand tall my love
There's so much that you should be proud of
I know you're feeling sad and unsatisfied
But just try to look at the bright side

Don't forget what your worth
You're here to make a difference
Come to me, let me hold you tight and give you my warmth
You've the world left to see, so much to experience

Always remember that it's okay to be lost
Break down but get back up stronger at any cost
Always remember that I will be by your side
No matter the day or the night

On days that you feel like you're a failure
Let my words be your savior
On days that you don't believe in yourself
Look at yourself from my eyes, borrow my vision
Trust my intuition
You'd know how much you're admired
How much and how often you're looked up to
Maybe then you'd feel a little inspired
To do all the things you want to

So put your head up
And wear your crown
For if you do anything else, it might fall down

Today is a day like none other
I am calm, and I'm at peace
My mind isn't running at its fastest speed
My body still relaxes as I continue to bleed

I feel my senses heightened
My life seems enlightened
This day made me realize
We take too much for granted
There's hope in children's eyes
In the morning skies
Being able to live and breathe is a huge prize

I feel content
Like a farmer does after a hard day of work
Like a child playing in the park
The way I feel when I can close my eyes and smell your scent

I found there's beauty in simplicity
In just getting through the day and fulfilling responsibility
In having a heavy breakfast and an afternoon nap
In doing laundry and keeping away my thinking cap

We take too much for granted
From the life we've been given and the people in it
We need to learn to be happy in what we've been handed
For the only thing certain about life and the people in it
Is that to both of these, death is always granted

You set my soul on fire
Each little freckle on your face
I’ve studied and I admire
I could close my eyes and retrace
Each little freckle on your face

You fill me up with desire
You make me wish for better
Before you came along, I was okay, I was fine
Now you hold me together like my spine
Now I have a soul that’s on fire
And a heart filled with desire

He gets so jealous
Makes me nervous
He's not afraid of my darkest side
He stands by me with complete pride

He says he wants me no matter what I do
I wonder if he understands what he's got himself into
He says I fit in him and on him so perfectly
I want to love him until the end of eternity

To be honest, I get really jealous too
The thought of someone else with him makes me blue
It makes me wanna destroy the world and hide him in my embrace
Forgive the violence, I'm just trying to be honest

The idea that I did him wrong
Made me wanna torture myself
I'm filled with disgust and pain
Just wanna make sure I don't this again

Cause I love you more than i love me
I want you more than I want my art
I have known you just for a while now
But I will stand by you no matter what, if you allow

Cause you are the beautiful white snow
That's falling from the sky
making everything a pleasure to the eye
I'm the snow that's reached the ground
The one that's been stepped on and damped around
The one that's no longer white and appealing
But I love you more than anything in the world, listen to my words and start believing

I put on a mask every single day
When I'm thinking so many things I don't say
When my heart is breaking but my lips curve to a smile
When I miss you and I just wanna pick up the phone and dial

I put on a mask every single day
Walking alone in these long hallways
Mastering the art of hiding my emotions
My mind feels it can create an explosion

I put on a mask everyday
You might not see it on the outside
Maybe cause you just look at the bright side
Adding layers to this mask everyday

I put on a mask everyday
I'd be lying if I said I'm not deceiving
I don't apologize if this is not appealing
I just wanna runaway

Those were the days
We saw each other each day
Things change, people change but pictures remain the same

All those little things you said
I think of them and they make me think
Is there a part of the story I misread?

Laying on my bed, all lights off
I look outside the window
See nothing but fog
Just like the weather, our relation seems hazy

I told you to love me
only if you can stay
only if you can learn to stand still and not drift away
Don't turn out to be like others
After all, people they come they go

I told you people always leave
You promised me you'd stay
Now there's no sign of you
I can't believe

I'm fragile that you know
Please tell me our love didn't outgrow
I'm only as weak as I am strong
Our friendship was supposed to last lifelong

Regardless of what you did
Just know that I love you oh
Maybe loving you was stupid
I'm dying inside but I'm putting up a show

We'd go to the gym, cook and eat together
We'd chill, we'd laugh, there was no pressure
Where did the good times go?
Now I look at your picture and just miss you so

Trying so hard to figure out
What went wrong,
My heart is filled with doubt
Asking myself why don't we hang out?
We really used to get along

So I say, come back and let's live again
Let's laugh until the end
Come back and let's start over
So much left to learn, so much to discover

So I say, come back cause I miss you
Life ain't the same without you
Let's stay up until 2 am
Cause you're the breath that I breathe from the bottom of my diaphragm

I give but I don’t get
Makes me feel like an old cassette
It keeps playing the same part of the song
Over and over again
And the ones I love keep doing me wrong
Over and over again

I act like it doesn’t affect me
I act all cool about it
When it feels like a hit on my spirit

No matter what I feel
My love for you doesn’t seem to fade
It continues to be as strong as steel

Every time I think about it
My eyes are filled with tears
It reminds me
How people just cheat on me year after year

Trust just seems like a precious stone
Rare to find and uncommon to own
Everyone wants it, not everyone can have it
Seems like we are all such hypocrites

Huge parts of me have been battered
All these parts really mattered
I doubt that they are fixable
This time the damage seems irreversible

Cream colored curtains and a brown couch
A twin bed and my messed up head
These wrinkled sheets and I might be a bit of a grouch

Cried myself to sleep here, laughed until I cried here
His picture on my nightstand, a dozen dead roses next to it
My safe place where I have no fear

The comforts of being naked
Mentally exposed and denuded
My space so open yet so secluded

Identical night lamps and a 10 dollar mirror
White walls, with posters of the places I’ve been
Everything so visible even with the lights dimmer

Melted down on this carpeted floor
But I vacuumed it before
Lay with me and close that door

I feel numb, I have no words
Still somehow I am writing
The irony of life, my actions and thoughts conflicting

There will be a day
When all your dreams come true
When you do what you love
And make it through

I wait for the day when I’ll see you at the top
Touring the world would become your full time job
When you’d inspire millions like you inspire me now
They’d look up to you and you’d take a bow

I look forward to holding your hand when you’re there
Each day, that’s something I ask from God in my prayers
You’ve the potential to change the world
Your life is more meaningful than you think
The art you make will make people re think
No matter where you are, we’ll always be in sync

There’s plans and there’s a vision
I’ll stand by you when you struggle the most
And when you make foolish decisions
You are filled with greatness
You are filled with excellence
You’ve what it takes to make the world a better place

I believe in you more than you believe in yourself
I’ll be your guiding light on your darkest days
I’ll be your faith in every phase
I’ll show you how beautiful you are
And that you can shine brighter than any star
When you lose faith, I’ll hand you your guitar
Ask you to sing, and I’ll be your radar
Put all your problems on my shoulders
Now when we are young and when we’ll be older

I want you become the best you
And show the world how it’s done
I want all your dreams to come true
But every now and then, make sure to make a home run

While some people are coming back
Some are leaving
Seen a hundred faces
But I’m looking for your traces

Like the cycle of life
Some of us are coming into this world
While others are leaving

How your day goes depends on who you know
The one who’s about to come or the one who’s about to go
Are you the one happy cause someone you know is coming back
Or are you the one filled with grief because someone is leaving

Excitement rushing through my blood
As each stop passes by, I sit here happily
And I know I'm one stop closer to you
You're my friend, you're my family

When you go home
I feel like I'm not home
As the train goes from underground to the light
Everything around me seems so bright

I'm alone right now
In a city that is white and cold
Although when I take the same road back
Things won't be the same
All these people looking at me like I’m a maniac

For I will be with you my friend
And you'll tell me your stories
And I'll tell you mine, no worries
Even though it’s a weekday, it feels like the weekend

As I get closer
Your face in my head gets clearer
Reminding me of the last time I saw you
For that was at the airport too

I'm very flawed, sometimes very wrong
But you can trust me with your heart
You can trust I won't tear you apart
I'm highly emotional, sometimes dysfunctional

Is it too much to take?
Can you handle who I am?
Do you want me to stick to you?
Everything I say just sounds like a polygram
Do you want me as much as I want you?
While you sleep, I watch you, always awake

It it overwhelming?
Whenever there's a beginning, there's an ending
Is my love stressing you out?
Do you have any doubts?

You're my ******
The ****** of my most awaited movie
Every little turn, right or wrong
Every little decision, all along
Every bad relationship, every person it didn't work out with
All those roads that I thought were going nowhere
They were actually leading to you

My visualization, so much inspiration
Living life like its a celebration
I am an artist, I crave originality
I am an artist, accustomed to abnormality

Thinking new thoughts, looking forward to collaboration
Surrounded by new artists who are filled with associative orientation
Filled with passion, filled with drive
Guided by emotions, striving to thrive

I'm not going to tell you you're perfect.
Because you're not
Because perfect is boring
And that's something you're not.

Cause if you were perfect
You'd never be better
Although I see the potential in you
To be so much better

Cause if you were perfect
You'd never grow
And I would hate to see you
Just going with the flow

Cause if you were perfect
You'd get comfortable
And be filled with neglect

You're the heat in the middle of a volcano
You're the rainbow after the rain
You're not perfect
You are a beautiful conflicting subject.

When you love somebody
But you can’t be with them
What do you do?

Do you choose to stay?
Or run far far away?
Do you choose the path with no obstacles?
Or do you choose the path that sounds illogical?

What kind of a lover are you?
The one who fights till the end
Or the one who decided to be the best friend?

Do you get overly possessive?
And like to call it being very protective?
We all know there’s a difference
Each choice that you make
Has its own significance

How do you say your goodbye?
Do you walk as fast as you can?
Or do you close your eyes and kiss her goodbye?

Do you like doing complicated?
Or does it make you too frustrated?

Do you choose to stay?
Or run far far away?
Do you choose the path with no obstacles?
Or do you choose the path that sounds illogical?

When we first met, you were arrogant
Walking around like you owned the world
I was the one to say hi
While you sat there in silence feeling shy

We started seeing each other everyday
Kissing in stairways
We ate, we went swimming
Our love was blooming

This was two years ago
Back then there was sunshine, now its just snow
White and cold, beautiful and bold
We started dying while living with each other
Changing like the weather

I’m sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused
I’m sorry for all the tears in your eyes
I’m sorry for all the broken promises
Standing with you watching the sunrise

You never did me wrong
Always told me to be strong
For you knew I’d survive through anything
As long as I am breathing

But like they say
Somethings aren’t meant to last
And when you are having a good time
Times goes by fast

Just know that I loved you with all my heart
You’ve always been such a sweetheart
All I want is for you to be happy
I really want that and I want it badly

So here I say again,
I’m sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused
I’m sorry for all the tears in your eyes
I’m sorry for all the broken promises
Standing with you watching the sunrise

I wish I had a father
Maybe that would have made me a better lover
Don’t they say that children from broken families
These children are the ones with the tragedies

I wish I knew what it feels like
to be daddy’s little girl
To be protected
in a shell just like a beautiful white pearl

I have so many questions
I also have a confession

Out of all the things in the world
One can pick from
I wish he had picked me  
I wish he could tell me stories about my skinned knees

I don’t know how to ride a bicycle
Isn’t that one of the first things you learn in a life cycle?
He didn’t help me get off the training wheels

I cant let people love me
I don’t know much
but I do know
How messed up that sounds to be

Sometimes I feel stranded
Sometimes I feel cheated
Sometimes I feel despair
Sometimes I feel like I am in a room with no air

Sometimes I feel hopeful
Sometimes I feel pain
Sometimes I feel doubtful
Sometimes I feel like all my love for you is going in vain

Sometimes I feel satisfied
Sometimes I feel worthless
Sometimes I feel terrified
Sometimes I feel being around you makes me feel breathless

No matter what I feel
I am just happy to be alive
For I know that is important
That should never be forgotten

Does that make me passive aggressive?
While I’m just being thankful about being alive
Please let the judgment go
For a man who judges just makes the other one low.

He asked me today
"What happened to us?
Why did things not work out?"

I told him - our religion tore us apart.

Our religion tore us apart
Why does love have to be measured
by who we pray to and not who we are
Thinking of that still breaks my heart

Our distance increased
Our love deceased

Today I am speaking to you again
It makes me feel like I’m standing naked in the rain

Where were you these 4 years?
Because when I think of love
Your name instantly appears

My heart is filled with fear
The fear of the unknown

As I sit here in fear
In my eyes there are heavy tears

I’m overwhelmed by our conversation
Not because I’m scared
Just because I have so many questions

I want to look into your eyes
Hold my body close to yours
And secretly wish you do not hear my cries

I want to cry, but I don’t want you to know
I want to cry because I broke your heart
I want to cry because I left you hanging
I want to cry, but I don’t want you to know

You are 8,192 miles away from me
Yet I feel like there is not a single part of you that I cannot see

I am writing this while you sleep
I am writing this slowly because I am falling deep

I am writing this while you sleep
But baby please don’t oversleep

We spoke today after ages
It felt like a part of me came back

Now we talk everyday
It feels like a bright sunny day

I miss his hands
He knows me, he understands

The way he makes me feel
The pain inside my heart will never heal

He’s something I really need
We miss each other, we both agreed

There are so many things I have no control over
It makes me feel like I’m not at all sober
I feel this way without a single drink
I can’t help but think

I want to see him, hold him, feel him
Run towards him and just stay there with him
Maybe I never want to leave
He’s my only belief