Take a step,
Don’t be afraid to fall.
Go, move forward,
And don’t look back.

No, you did!
Why did you look back?
Is it not that simple?
‘coz we’re back again to square one.

Move a little.
Do not hesitate to walk.
Plunge into things that make you happy.
Jump to your shadow’s reality.

That’s it, but more!
Run and never stop.
Please do not stop and look back.
Forget me—your past—your dreadful past.

In the vastness of Internet
I found myself,

In a small corner where no one thought exists.

It had my heart, my thoughts, my words scribbling on their own.

Sharing, narrating the fears and forgotten roles.

It may be in verse with rhyming and measure,

Or just a hundred word ***** with no pressure.

But whatever it is,
I wouldn't dare to run no more,
For I have found my secret home.

I left
Not because I gave up
But because I want you to hold on.

I cried
Not because I'm weak
But because my feelings for you is too strong.

I got drunk
Not because it makes me forget
But because I'm afraid I might drown in this relation-****.

I wrote
Not because I can't speak
But because I want my words stub you and make you regret.

So if you could read this,
tell me what you feel
and I will Love you still.

If
three years
is
difficult,
this year
i'll be
STRONGER.

Hush now my darling,
dry thy tears,
silent your whimpers,
for the monster is near.

Don't scream if you hear its footsteps,
try not to breathe.
Think of your happy thoughts,
and count 'til three.

Smile now my darling,
you're already safe.
You don't need to worry.
nor ask for any help.

Look around my darling,
the monster is now lying.
soaked with your blood,
while smiling from ear to ear.

Blink
Type
Erase.
Type
Type
Type
Erase.
Checks the time..
Type,
Erase!!!!
Search Google,
Copy,
Paste,
Edit,
Save,
Upload.
Smile.

Years ago, I would put up a white flag instead of fighting back.

Years ago, I would make a toasted cheese instead of my favorite.

But that moment in a lift, a night in December, I knew my heart turned cold.

That my once favorite name that I always whisper, is now the one that  I despise.

For that "you count on me" line, turned to "don't try to ask me back."

People used to tell life is amazing,
But they never told me how hard to have one.

People used to tell life is full of surprises,
But they never told me that some are not worth the price.

People used to tell life is a roller coaster,
But they never told me what to do when you reached the end.

People used to tell enjoy life to the fullest.
But I never did until I was running out too late.

I want to shout until my ears hurt.
I want to curse until I ran out of words.
I want to run until I can't stand on my feet.
I want to stab myself until I can no longer breathe.

I want to be back to my own self,
I want to be free.
But everytime I try.
I can feel your hands' tight grip.

I've been depressed for three years now.
I've been suffering for sleepless nights.
I've been seeking for help a lot of times,
But no one dared to notice my cry.

They knew me as a strong girl,
The one who always smile.
But this time I know I'm afraid.
Afraid of what I can do to myself.

Three months from now I could be in my chair typing,
Three months from now I could be in a room teaching
Three months from now I could be in the road doing interview,
Or three months from now I could be in your arms saying I do.

There are endless possibilities that could happen,
But before that three months finally end,
Let me first savor my last college year,
Typing a poem while drinking a beer.

I miss how you stare at me after our fight,
I miss how you whispher sweet nothings just to make me smile,
I miss how your hand draw beautiful art,
I miss how you lips touches mine.

These thoughts of yours had made me insane,
For thinking that you're still here breathing.
If only I can shout your name,
And whisper I love you and Happy Birthday My Man.

Im starting to drown myself with works that I've been doing for so long.
And every time I fail you're always there to remind me how stupid I am.
I only want to succeed and be the woman I've dreamt to become,
But I know in your eyes all my hardwork were and never be enough.

I want to scream as loud as I can just for me not to hear your voice anymore.
Your words that tells me what to do and your mad face I'm afraid to stare.
I want to be free from the grip of your expectations,
For I just want to live my life as strong yet carefree.

So if you're reading this I want you to hear me out,
Listen to what my hearts shouts even for once.
Give me the air that was stolen from me to breathe,
And just be happy for everybody including me.

My loving self, free me from your past.
Break the chain that keeps me in your arms.
Let me wander a different path,
For us to have a better life- away from people's expectations and wrath.

I was a hopeless wanderer when we met,
My eyes were swollen from last night's tears, while Yours smiles from ear to ear,
I dont even remember if I knew you personally back then but you knew that I'm one of your lost daughters.

You crossed the space between us and offered Your hand,
You wipe my tears away and made me smile,
You said I should not fear because I have you now,
And you were right, things are better when You're in my side.

For years I tried to ask the what ifs,
But the truth is I should have started asking what is,
What is life without Your love and grace?
What is world without Your presence in any place?

It may take time before we truly meet,
But I thank you for everything.
You've been kind through out my life,
You've been loving that I cant even thank you enough.

Let me then praise You and worship You,
For when my heart was on pieces, you picked them and glued them together,
Not for me to love somebody again but for me to Love You more each day My Victorious King.

I wish I didn't knew about you and your best friend,
I wish I haven't seen the message you've sent,
I wish I saved my heart, to you I  didn't lend,
'Coz you just want to break hearts- to be in trend.

I'm sorry if I was cold,
The words you wanted to hear i didn't told,
I wish I was brave enough, too bold,
For when this day comes I won't loose hold.

If one day to will find me,
In the same place where we celebrated our anniversary,
Don't be sad nor sorry,
Because this might take time but I'm sure I will soon be happy.

Let me take the blame of not doing what I need to do,
The time that I should have said goodbye but opted not to,
The time that I just counted cars with different hue,
And the time that I didn’t choose who’s better between them and You.

Let me take the blame of being vulnerable.
For letting my feelings be seen by everyone in the hall,
For giving them the glimpse to look at my permanent hole,
And for surrendering for You at the very last goal.

Let me take the blame of all the injustices.
All the tears of families for their lost father’s kisses.
All the wives who grieves for their husband’s wrongful deceases,
And all the dreams we planned that now slowly ceases.

Let me take the blame of being prideful,
Moments that were passed to ask for forgiveness and be mindful,
Moments to set aside self-reservations and be humble,
And moments to let go dreams and believe that Your plan is more beautiful.

Let me take it even for the last time,
Feel the pain that You’ve bare and make it mine.
Because I know that You’ve been there for me till the end of line,
Watching and taking the blame so that I can be fine.

Let the artist's thought embrace the night,
As he scribble it all till dawn;
For words are enough to end a fight.

Bagged with pens and clearest sight,
He wandered the world alone;
Let the artist's thought embrace the night.

Inspired by the beauty of colors and light,
He described the majestic throne;
For words are enough to end a fight.

To give everyone what is just and right,
He painted it with for hone;
Let the artist's thought embrace the night.

Aiming to share a peaceful flight,
He uttered in the loudest sone;
For words are enough to end a fight.

Striving for future's height,
Dreaming for a joyful tone,
Let the artist's thought embrace the night,
For words are enough to end a fight.

'I promise'
Said the girl whose words are lies
"This time I can"
Said the boy who's afraid to try,
"It is too late?"
Said the woman who's always behind time,
"I love you"
Said the man whose heart can never be mine.

When your thoughts are too vague and you can't fathom where would your ideas go,
When all you need is to scribble down all those but you're too lazy to do,
When you can't help but deny that your childhood dream is now turning blue,
And when all you've written for almost your lifetime were just mediocre and nonsense clue.

Then stop! Take a break and let your hand wander,
Let it feel a different job aside from painting ink in your paper,
Maybe it needs a little time for itself to discover,
And talk to the Almighty God through prayer.

Let me hold you,
Let me feel your warmth while it still lasts.
Let me cry out how awful my day went,
from the two hours delay due to traffic to tons of paper works in the office.
And how I missed a lunch meeting because of a mishap in the site.
Yet let me dry my tears first before my sleepiness takes me away,
And believe in the idea
that you will always be there for me, hugging me so tight at night