I watched them all fade away
I saw the moon,
The stars,
And the planets
Hover around the galaxies
Searching for something
Something we’ll never understand

Submarines
Under the water
They go wherever there’s trouble
I hope I don’t drown when my ship sinks
It’s scary to believe
That the worst could be a possibility

I live in my sin
Like everyone else
I’m constantly running
But I’m running out of time
For the redemption I desperately seek

But I know you
You’ll be there past the expiration of my time
You control the heavens above
If believing in you is a risk
Then you’re the only exception

I’m no longer afraid
Of what I’ll never know

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

I know you’ve been searching for something
A step forward with a million to go
But it’s alright
You’re closer than ever before

All my life,
All I wanted was attention
So much to be consumed by it
Let my ego soar
At the flow of the light of the uncertain
Towards the end of the universe

In my mind
That’s the only way to happiness
In your eyes
I’m delusional and disconnected
Far away from something genuine

But when I’m alone
I feel so far away
My thoughts become consumed
My heart becomes corrupted
If only you knew how to cure this vanity
I’d spent all my dimes
To be brought back to reality

I pull the tides closer to me
I’m more than a shining light
I play games with gravity

I know you’re sad when I’m completely gone
But just wait for the heavens
To run amok
Light always fades
But the darkness shows my true colors
Watch me go
As I overshadow the cosmos

Seeking for sunlight
I found my own bright star
But it glowed too bright
It burned too fast to ever last
I’m glad to have met you
But sad to see you go
I wish there was an alternate dimension
Where you’d stay
But everyone needs to move on at some point
But at this point
I’d rather be selfish and not let you go
But it’s not up to me
We all need to see our future
I wish I could see the skies in black and gray
To be impartial to my own dismay
I fell apart, but I’m not broken
Not yet, I won’t allow it
This is just a stumble
In a long race against time
And when I move on
I will also have to let you go  
And escape the black hole

Light years away
You can find what you’re looking for
You feel like you’re trapped
In the same routine, it’s monotonous
I know
But life has its responsibilities
And if it didn’t
How long can you hold for
Because it takes time to change things
It takes effort to do things
And it takes passion to be patient
For you’ll never know
What the future holds

Some look for happiness
Some look for love
And others wonder
What’s up there up above
The clouds hold the truth
As the sun spills its secrets
The Earth spins round and round
To keep you safe and sound
We are all walking paradoxes
Waiting for our turn to be relevant
Light years away
I hope you’ll find what you were looking for

Butterfly butterfly
You fly so high
You fly without hesitation
That’s at least what I see with my eyes

Animal animal
That’s the wish I had as a kid
To morph into anything
Whenever these toxic people
Came running
Only to put my happiness at risk

To the oceans I went
To swim with the otters
To the poles I went
To look fly like the penguins
To fields I disappeared
To run for excitement
To escape the bad memories

But for a moment
Just some small moments
Being me wasn’t always that bad

Animal animal
You were there at the low moments
And for that thank you,
You’ve been very kind

Rising star
You shine so bright
As I wake up from my long slumber
I can’t help to wonder
What’s the world been up to

The days go by and there’s no lapse in time
I’m closed off to the world
In fear that I won’t be accepted
For who I am

I rather blame everyone
Than confront my own demons
It’s easier that way
To live in denial
To live in delusion

I mourn the death of my old self
Living in the past is so exhausting
I try and I try to move on
But who the **** knows
When my time will arrive

I wish I had the ability to change
If I don’t love myself
I’ll just morph into the societal norm
I’ll just be somebody else

I’m cheated of happiness
I’m cheated by my own mind
And I always wonder
If someone out there
Will ever love me
Forever love me
But the night brings darkness
And it’s time to close my eyes
And wait,
If tomorrow will ever come