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I have a daydream in my mind.
It replays nonstop in my mind and has become a guilty habit of mine to revel in as my family lives on so blissfully unaware.
Many times I daydream of what if I was to erase myself from this life, I know it is a sign of depression but I have no other way to cope and manage this mania.
Many other times I daydream of leaving my current life, packing my bags and never looking back as the few people who care about me wonder where I am.
I am so guilty of so many selfish thoughts.
I know if I were to reveal how impure I am I would be turned away from and receive false pity.
So I want to be a coward and run away from what ails me.
I know it will leave unresolved problems no matter what dream I choose but I can not help but live a hypocritical life this way.
To erase is what I dream.
I’m in love with an angel
one who lit the entire night sky even when she couldn’t see the light herself
her heart held love
for every living thing except herself
I guess maybe she just ran out of space  
this angel would fight for you or for me
every opportunity she got
but she never stood a chance in saving herself
i’m scared
of
li(o)ving
Sometimes I'm able to break through the walls of my mind
And my fingers can just phase through the barriers
And for a fraction of a second
I am real again.
But then that moment is over,
And I am back to being caged inside my mind;
A prison I will never be able to escape.

I am trapped inside a world I don't understand
Forced to see through glazed eyes,
Forced to hear through muffled ears,
Forced to walk in a body that isn't my own.

My thoughts are no longer private.
Maybe they were once upon a time,
But that was long ago
And now I can't think freely
Because everyone can hear me.

I'm inside of a prison made of glass
Being watched
And mocked
At all times.
(I can't stop them.)

I'm a lone star in a never ending galaxy of stars.
My existence has no meaning
And meaning has no existence.

My senses have been stripped from me.
I live in a blur.
I'm confined.
I live in a blur.
I'm stuck in a cage.
I live in a blur.
I'm trapped inside a world I don't understand.

And no one is watching me,
But I'm still in a prison made of glass.
And no one can hear my thoughts,
But I still restrict them.
And I am a real human being,
But I still can't feel as so.
(I can't make it stop.)

(Please make it stop.)
out of place
out in space
my mind wonders
looking for something safe.
to hold onto
and cherish,
but I tend to stumble
and perish.
when fallen down
I'm filled with sound,
constant and booming
loud and looming.
once redirected
my head feels connected,
to the body I know
and my wisdom
I call home.
Friends?
I don't have any
Enemies?
Everyone
Why?
Nobody is perfect
Someone is going to hurt you
Lies
Gossip
Cheat
Or just leave you for good
Don't trust anyone
Not even yourself
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