I can see it in the way you look at me
Disappointment
Disappointment
Disappointment
I tried to warn you
I am not what you think I am
I am a failure just waiting to happen
The only thing I am good at failure and disappointment

It's delight which flows without measure
from the assurance that through every circumstance
and detail of my life God is ever beckoning and drawing me
into deeper intimacy with Himself, ever whispering to my heart,
“Come closer still.”

Joy in the midst of devastating loss, crushing disappointment,
unbearable pain or scourging heartache is about the discovery of
treasure so precious and rare that it never could have been found
had we not been forced to walk a path of affliction in the desert.

It's in the isolation and brutality of the wild that we come to know Him
in ways that transcend the span of human imagining or desiring,
and all the songs and all the poems and all the masterpieces
taken together cannot capture an estimable description
of the pleasures that might be unearthed there.

There lies before us in our afflictions a vast and wondrous beauty
yet undisclosed behind the fog, and like a theatrical curtain
slowly pulled back to reveal a perfectly set stage
He will sublimely unveil it in His own directed time.

And we shall be elated at the view,
for it's against a backdrop of struggle and darkness
that the best and most moving of stories have always unfolded.

Maybe nothing truly beautiful can ever take form on earth
without the shroud of mystery and brokenness surrounding it—
at least not the kind of beauty that takes our breath away
and leaves us yearning to possess it.

I don't mind if you touch them,
but maybe she did,

I don't care anymore,
to me there just a pair of flesh,

but to her,
they're still innocent,

Mine have lost the specialness in the I want you to touch them,
Now it's met with I don't cares,

For I no longer have what she has,
those first time butterflies like i'm shy when I remove my top,

when it's the first time I show them off to you,
because they're not special anymore,

when a time in my life my brest made me happy,
were I could look in the mirror and feel good about something,

but they became nothing,
so now I look and see nothing but a black canvas of disappointment,

everytime I stare at my reflection,
every time I see my wound,

our wound,
because that's the one that everyone sees,

the rest I made are hidden just for me,
and I wish our wound was like that,

I wish I could totally remember what happened to my breast,
but all I remember was burning right over the year old scar again,

because the pain of remember hurt more then my second burn,
but the first time you were the one to burn me,

and I had hid it so well,
but there came a time where I didn't care,

and I showed it off,
battle scar? call it what you want,

if you wanna grab my **** go for it,
they have gone through worse assault,

if you wanna see them,
it's not going to mean **** to me,

and I am really sorry that thats hows it's been for me,
but it's not my fault my ***** innocence was stolen from me,

because of a *****,
with what used to look like the end of one of his cigarettes,