In a world of empty dreams
I walk alone.
In the dark where no one sees
I walk alone.
Alone among the barren trees,
Restless in my wandering,
The whisper of the falling leaves-
"Alone."

Fading to Nothing,
Here I am.
Lost in the wanting,
Empty hands.
Tired and angry,
Cold as stone,
I walk alone.

Rough and cold against the skin.
I am alone.
Hold me close and draw me in...
Alone.
Encase me in shroud of green,
Laid beneath the willow tree,
Love was never meant for me.
I walk alone.

Reaching for something
I cannot hold.
Something is missing,
Leaving me cold.
The leaves keep falling,
The cycle turns.
Dry up, die, and burn.

I lie down to die
With all these fading dreams.
One last time, I close my eyes,
Sink beneath the falling leaves,
Alone.

Me! I! Myself! Mine!

I shout these words in militant exertion,
Demanding people to stop,
Commanding them to hear,
Ordering their full, undivided, worshipful attention.

"Am I not the centre of the universe!? Listen to ME!" I scream,
And sulk like an angry child as the world continues on,
Unperturbed, unaltered, un-adoring,
Without even noticing my voice.

If no one else will pay me heed,
Then I, at least, must do so.
So I worship my own image,
And prostrate myself before the alter of my self conceit.
I sing my own praises to my own ear,
And ******* myself to myself
in a vain attempt to satisfy my undying vanity.

Oh, you vainglorious *******!
Made illegitimate by the illegitimacy of your false worship
And the hypocrisy of your heart.
Do you not know, you were made to kneel? Fashioned to bow,
Not to your own image, but before the visage if Him Who made you in His own likeness
That you might bear within yourself the most sacred cartouche,
The most precious signet,
The most holy seal.

For you have been called to higher things than this broken clay vessel you defile with your adulterous worship.
Oh, you conceited fool!
Puffed up in your own pride,
Unaware of how utterly worthless you have made yourself.

And yet your Maker still stoops from Heaven
To hear your piteous moans,
And His heart weeps to see your self-inflicted wounds.

Thus He reaches down
And whispers His deepest Love to you
While you are yet gleefully drowning in your sin.

So unaware are you of anything but fleshly gratification.
But He touches you,
When you least expect it.
Like pearls discovered in a dung heap,
He surprises you with the Treasure of His Grace.
And with the tenderness of His Loving touch,
Lifts you from your mire and whispers in your ear:

"Oh, my Little Worm, I am your Redeemer."

You're a monster and I hate you-
Let me go!
Your a comfort and I need you-
Hold me close!

If the dream dies,
Will it ever fly again?
Head on, crash course,
Destination Devestation.
So step on the gas, Baby.
We're gonna fly or die
In glorious flames.

I
  C
     A
       N
         'T             l
Write in concise
                        n
          anymore.
            ­            s
I         C       N
               A      'T

S
   P
     E
       A
         K.
I         AM

DSEALY
EPRTE
     E
     S
     T
     L
     E
     S
     S.

Take the stage
Then take a bow.
Touch a heart,
Then skip town.
Skip a stone,
Then sink below.
Leaving ripples behind.

Take a breath,
Then let it go.
Let's take a ride
On the undertoe.
Kiss the sky,
Then dive below.
Like a breaker,
Turn to mist-
Drift.

Spreading wings,
Lift off in flight.
Melt the wax,
Drop from the sky.
Like a comet
Shining bright,
Burn to stardust on the wind-
Drift.

Chasing rainbows in my head
The world outside is cold and dead
As I'm chasing butterflies
The world outside has passed me by

And here I lie in the sands of time
Skeletal and bare
Minnows swimming through my skull
A grinning sightless stare

Diving deep to find the source
Of the pretty mermaid song
The siren voice turns me off course
Now I drift in the duldrums

As I drown in shallow waters
I could breathe if I would stand
But here I lie lulled to sleep by sirens
Comatose in the sand

Too tired now to stay awake
I think I'd rather fade away
Leave all my dreams castaway
On the ebbing tide
Wake me up or let me die
Let me drown or save my life

Let the sea take these bones
And turn them into driftwood.

You make me high.
You're intoxicating.
I can't decide
Whether that's a good thing,
Or if all my mad rebellion
Is only a lie I keep telling
Just to justify
My compromise.

So hold me close tonight.
Don't ever let me go.
I don't care.
I just don't care anymore.
You fill me up when you lay me down.
In your arms... Let me drown.  

You get me off
And you know I love it.
Want to ****,
Come on, lets do this!
Done with all this dry tradition,
But is this just another repetition
Another fast escape from the truth?

Hold me close tonight.
Don't ever let me go.
I don't care.
I just don't care anymore.
You fill me up when you lay me down,
In your arms... let me drown.

Hold me closer,
Draw me in.
Awash in the glory of all our "sin"
Burn the pulpit,
Shred the pews.
**** the rules.

I come not for the joyful,
Who have a song to sing.
And I am not the kind
Who will leave you smiling.
Rather, I'm the kind of singer
Who looks to pierce you to the core.
I'm probably not who you're looking for-
I'm a heavy kinda soul

Cause I'm a bleeder,
And I'm a dreamer
I wear my heart out on my ragged sleeve-
I'm a heavy kinda soul.
     Happiness just ain't my thing,
And peace is always far away
Smiles are as rare as a desert breeze,
Cause I'm a heavy kinda soul.

I don't want to entertain you
I want to touch your heart.
I am the voice for the broken,
Hiding in the dark.
Maybe the only other one
Who understands the Darker Road-
Cause I'm a heavy kinda soul.

Cause I'm a bleeder,
And I'm a dreamer
I wear my heart out on my ragged sleeve-
I'm a heavy kinda soul.
     Happiness just ain't my thing,
And peace is always far away
Smiles are as rare as a desert breeze,
Cause I'm a heavy kinda soul.

If you hear me,
Would please weep too?
Would you let me know that I'm not alone?
I want to give the broken, a song they can call their own,
But I'm so broken too.
Cause I'm a heavy kind of soul.

How hard it is to articulate,
     To make words make sense.
     String them along in a sentence
To craft and manipulate,
   This insanely difficult thing we call
"Language."

How hard it is to emphasize
The right word, right line,
Make it all interjoin and intertwine,
Combine
And rhyme,
     Shape it,
     Weave it
Into this insanely difficult thing we call
"Poetry."

How hard it is to breath
     Life into this verse,
    Make it transverse,
From pen to page to eye to mind to soul.
Where it can nest like a coal
     And burn and flame and thrive.
     And give birth to this insanely difficult thing we call
"Life."

Let me sleep, let me dream,
Don't wake me in just yet;
I'm not tired, just tired of life.
I'm happy in my courtship with the Brother of Death.
If I never awake, that's just fine.

Brother of Death, come pull my heartstrings,
Come pull the wool over my eyes.
Woo me to bed and your welcome embrace;
Be my escape from this life.

Let me remain in my comatose state;
If I'm unconscious, just let me slumber.
Awake, I'm too lonely to care anyway.
What good is life without a lover?

Man of Sorrows, come romance my heart.
Even in my dreams you haunt me.
If I can't escape Your awe-full embrace,
You might as well haunt me completely.

Don't let me remain in my comatose state.
Awaken me from my slumber.
Awake or asleep, there is no escape.
Life is just death when devoid of The Lover.

I wanna **** you
Slit your stupid throat
I would laugh at the dying sounds it makes
I detest you
Put my fist right through your skull
Feel the bones crushing in my hand,
As I shove my fingers into your brain

Because I hate you
More than I even hate myself
I detest you like a maggot in the grave
I wanna crush you,
Dissolve you in a vat of my shame

You left your taint behind you,
When you up and ran away,
Put your dagger in my back,
Left me in a shallow grave.
I can still taste you,
A flavour once so sweet
Has turned putrid in my mouth,
And I can't spit it out

So I'll rip your brain out through your eyes
Take a cudgel to your spine
Destroy and pulverize
Till there's nothing left but a stain,
On my memory.

Wasted, filthy, decayed.
Groaning for freedom and peace.
Hope is a far off fairytale.
Just a pleasurable fantasy.

Life devoid of joy.
Darkness in a search for treasure.
Attempting to fill the void
With thirty pieces of tarnished silver.

No fullfillment there-
Only more chains, more shackles,
More pain and despair.

Detestable, despicable, vile.
No life, just death.
No peace, no rest.
Torn and abused, broken, destroyed.
The will is gone.
Death has won.
No strength to run.
Done.
It's over.

Plunging deep into the filth,
Grasping for beauty and grace.
Breaking the surface with empty hands
And soiled dreams.

Nothing lovely there-
Just ragged wounds;
No melody here-
Just drunkards' tunes.

No hope in death, No hope in life.
Just one endless, painful, hopeless fight.

No hope, no peace, relentless pain.
Too weary to care,
Yet somehow aware.
Dim, halflight; decieving shadows
Filled with traps, tripwires,
Pitfalls and mires.

Broken, torn, neardead, tired;
Burned alive by unquenchable fire.

Will it ever be over?

Searching for beauty; Unable to find.
Trying to create, bless, design.

The beauty is torn and horribly marred-
An attempt to adorn with a result of scars.
A rose peirced by it's own thorns;
Broken, stained, *****, and torn.

Drowning in a flooding shower,
Defiled by the life it chose.
A hopeless, lifeless, whitherd flower-
But still a rose.

I feel heavy. Dark. The shadows of my past won't let me go. My demons are forever my companions. There is a constant war within me. I am a very very angry person. Mostly angry at myself. But I harm others in my rage. It's latent. Hidden. You don't see it. Or understand it. But you suffer from it. When I hurt you without thinking, that's the anger inside me. I don't know how to love you. I only know how to bleed. How to break. How to hurt. I am simultaneous a clumsy child and a raging monster. A ravenous wolf and a fear-inspired rabbit. I don't know how to live happy. I don't know how to handle peace. I'm like a lifetime drunk trying to function sober... I don't know how to live without the drug. My drug is pain, and I am lost without it. I feel dark tonight. And I don't know how to move towards the light.

I want to die tonight.
Leave it all behind,
Make a break with time,
And make a break for freedom.

Kiss the sky,
And take a look behind
The veil that holds the stars in place,
And ties us down to time and space,
Caught within an endless race...
I just want it to be over.

I will fail you,
I will fall.
Let you down just like before.
Everything I built will burn.

Broken dreams and broken trust
Crush the hopes you held so dear.
A shallow wave,
I'm so wind tossed.
I can't find my way.

A thousand nights I've spent right here.
A thousand times I've fallen down.
I spend more time in the grave
Than with the living.

What is wrong?
Why can't I change?
I'm always lost or in the way,
And so tired now,
I just want to die.

Because I'm so tired
Of my own tired out excuses.
And I'm so done
With this over played refrain.
I've rehearsed these lines
A thousand times,
But everything is useless.
No matter how hard I try, how hard I cry,
Nothing will ever change.

Can you find me?!
Do you still love me?!
Will you save me once again?
I spend more time falling,
Than I ever do on my feet.
Tell me! Please! Tell me!
What the Hell is wrong with me?!

Why am I so desperate to be heard?
What is the panicked urgency within?
Why do I scratch my name into the earth,
Tree bark, picnic tables, paper,
In a frenzied bid to make the world understand?

I don't understand.

She steps into the room,
Timidity and grace;
Innocence and caution synchronized.
She feels you watching her
And quickly turns away-
But it's too late,
She's been defiled by your eyes.

She's just another pretty girl
On whom to feast your eyes-
Another helpless victim to your gaze.
It doesn't matter what she wears,
It doesn't matter what she hides-
The second you set eyes on her,
She becomes your latest prey.

A slave to your senses,
You mother ******* perv!
I hate you and all your twisted ways.
A ******* of duplicity-
A ravenous, worthless curr-
Twisted in your soul
And ****** up in your brain!

'Cause you've got X-ray vision,
And you **** her with your mind;
Defile her with your very gaze.
You strip her down and play with her,
Debauched within your mind;
Violated, objectified, debased.