I think about you
Before I close my eyelids
And drift off to sleep.
Dreams consume my simple life-
What I wish happened-
Holding your hand in mine
Or imagining
Falling asleep in your arms.

I can't cry

So I crack my skin and force it to for me

-Hate yourself to the point of misery

-Slash your skin into oblivion

-Make your flesh a canopy of the hatred you feel

-Still feel numb after all of the pain

-Get yourself a rope

-Hang the rope on a sturdy branch

-Tie the knot properly
         - make a loop
         - spiral the rope around the loop
         - tuck the rope through the loop
         - pull on the end to tighten

-Pull a stool under your necklace

-Stand on the stood and wear your craft

-Kick the stool away

-"Look, Mum! No hands!"

-Think of your mum.... and others you love...

-Gasp for air but find none

-Shed a tear, cry out in agony

-Feel your neck being stretched out

-Remember the lovely touches from your loved ones... Remember how your brother used to nuzzle up by your chest and whisper against your neck

-Remember the times your friends used to hug you around the neck

-Remember the way Their lips felt against your supple skin

-Cry out harshly one final time

...Darkness

                                       Nothing is left anymore...



-You did it!

------------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------
The pain you face doesn't go away when you do. It's simply transferred onto others. The ones who cry at your funeral, the ones who will miss your voice, the ones who notice an empty place where you used to sit, the ones who shed a tear at the mention of your name, and even the ones who seemed to hate you will still love you the same. They'll be devastated. If you ever need to talk with somebody, I've been here before. I've been to the lowest of lows, and I've attempted before. You can always talk with me. My instagram DMs are open all the time. @darlingdrawingqueen

Don't be afraid to reach out. Your life is important, and you are loved by so many people. If not until now, then I love you. I love you so much, and I really want to get to know you.

I'll dance in the graceful moonlight
I'll sing with the mourning crows..
I'll walk with you at midnight
On routes we seldom go.

We'll walk away to Rome.
I'd love to go with you.
Anywhere is peaceful there
My eyes leak fresh morning dew.

I look into your eyes, waiting
For a response to me.
Hoping you'll smile back down
And use the pronoun 'we'

My heart swoons, creeping
Along at lazy pace
And finally speeding up again
When it's me whom you embrace.

After sitting next to you,
And staring at the stars,
Finding constellations,
And mapping adventures far,

My eyelids close then silently,
And in your arms I fall under.
Now sleeping peacefully,
My dreams pique wonders.

At first I was falling,
Stuck in a whorlwind,
Stragiht for the ****** bin.

Twisting, turning,
Tumbling through-
Then I found you.

You held me firm,
And helped me stand.
Now I know me.
Here I am.

People always say they wish they couldn't feel.
Apparently pain is worse than nothing.

My coping mechanism would beg to differ.

I just can't look into your eyes;
I know that when I do, I'll cry.
Oh, I'll try, and try, and try not to lie to you,
But choking on my tears, I can't stay true.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

Listen, you know I can't forget you.
Our duets will go nowhere without a venue.
I live my life to make you proud,
But you only ever seem to look down.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

I'm sorry if I've ever upset you,
I lie awake in a cold sweat for you-
Hoping, praying, pleading I won't make you mad,
Knowing full-well you'll just be sad.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

You truly are my best friend.
I never want our partnership to end.
All good things must come to a close,
So I hope you'll wave to me before you go.

I extend my beating heart to you,
fearful of your answer.
I don't know whether you'll take it
Or avoid me like a cancer.

Quoiromantic- that's what I am.
Sure, I may not be the same,
But I want to take a risk.
I want to play love's cruel game.

I may be miles away from you,
But if your feelings were ever true,
We could still attempt to try this out,
A 'test run', if you will, to get rid of doubt.

Turning now to a missing person.
Turning, offering a wave.
Turning again, unable to stop.

Wave
Wave
Wave

Here a sniff,
there a twitch.
everywhere another tic.

Stop.
Stop.
Stop.

This is madness.
I'm insane.
Leave me alone.

Go
A-
way

Time keeps marching,
Halted all the same.
Count the seconds.

1
2
3

Waiting, listening.
The screaming halt of time as we know it,
I'm unable to stop moving.

Twitch
Twitch
Twitch

The noises I make annoy others.
I get called out in class for being disruptive.
I can't go on like this.

Not
Any
more.

There once was an ordinary girl.
She kept the most beautiful garden.
She tended it often to keep the beds vibrant:
Her flowers were the brightest,
Most eye-catching scarlet.
She hid their Garden from others
Out of fear for what they'd say.
Her Garden is kept secret- It's only for her.

One hot summer day, Mother found the Garden.
Our protagonist was yelled at and forced to stop
Because her parents didn't want her having
A Red Garden.

She tried to stop gardening.
She now hides the faded plants.
She hopes nobody will find them.

She is now writing so she doesn't garden.
The gardener wants to stop
To keep her parents happy, she needs to.

No matter how addicting gardening is,
She has to stop.
No matter how beautiful the red flowers look
Our gardener needs to stop.
She doesn't want to be sent away.

---

So if you see somebody's Red Garden,
Or even the dried, withered bodies of flowers,
Please don't ask them about it.
They'll just lie about their Garden-
explaining it away as clumsiness
Or scratching themselves on something.

The country is completely broken,
The state has always been ruined.
Everywhere is fear
The end is drawing near:
Touch your heart and sing a tune.

Nobody remembers the meaning
Behind patriotic songs we sing.
The endless peace they promise,
Lies the way drama is-
The government needs to rethink.

You cannot trust the government
The future of it is endlessly bleak.
The enforcers ooze hatred.
What men breathe is seen sacred.
Though truth is what we seek.

The truth is not in the men.
Political beings only breathe lies.
All things they say are false
They speak of “freedom for all”
Meanwhile, the children in cages cry.

The country is completely broken.
The state is all but crumbled.
Rebellion draws near,
Instating copious fear
But the Man In Charge scoffs untroubled.

A siren wails in the distance-
“Please stand once more for the Pledge.”
We speak of freedom and justice.
We pray and plead for bliss
We’d rather die than follow to the ledge.

We cry out for mercy one final time.
We pray for our Clock’s final chime.
We trudge onward through levels of slime.
We wait for the end of crime.

There is nothing anymore we can do.
Trenches of safety reveal no peaceful view.
The Ending feels like sweet morning dew.
Terrible times will, at last, be through.

One more cry. One more shout.
One more time to figure things out.
One more lie. One more bout
Of joy before our time runs out.

The chorus sings on as if forced by swarms
Of unhappy police with ticking bombs
Ready to light the fuses with no qualms
And end the lives of the morally at arms.

For peace, we scream.
For liberty, we shout.
For love, we yearn.
We bleed life out.

There is almost hope for the country,
But we need others to listen.
If we yell loud enough,
Maybe the future will begin to glisten.

We can save future generations.
We can leave this life with hope.
We can give them a future,
And their future will help me cope.

Let me down, lay me low.
I'm not above, but crying on the floor.
I'm feeling quite sad,
Mixed up, and dead.
Just **** me, please,
And make the pain end.

I am a wreck-
A hopeless one at that.
I feel like I'm losing
A battle of loose ends.
If I don't stop soon,
I'll just wind up dead:
Suicide to make it end.

My wits are not with me;
They're lying on the floor.
Please drag me on the ground
And hang me by the door.
This war I fight,
I'm fighting alone in.
I know that I will never win.

Listen yo me just one more moment,
You're the last person who could save me...
Or ignore my pain,
And let me own it.

I have completely given out.
Nobody even cares anymore.
I should die without a shout.
Nobody even cares anymore.
I can't keep living life like this.
Nobody even cares anymore.
I feel like I'm falling through an endless abyss.
Nobody even cares anymore.

Sometimes I like to run away,
Away to secret places.

Away to sea,
Away to water
Away to where nothing ever falters.

I run away to a secret spot.
While there, I like to sit.

Sit and dream,
Sit and wish,
Sit and talk amongst the fish.

Sometimes I sit upon a dock.
While there, I like to cast.

Cast out sorrow,
Cast out fears,
Cast out all my aching tears.

Happy thoughts inside of me
Simply leak straight out

Replaced with worry,
Replaced with doubt,
Replaced with fear of standing out.

And in that state
Within my mind,
All good things vanish.
My life is timed.

"Ticking slowly,
Ticking fast,
Ticking away is my past.

I live, I breathe,
I sleep, I die.
In all I do is I, I, I...

I wish, for once, it was of you
And the amazing things you do
For I am small and worthless too.
Just **** me now, and that will do."

But then I think,
'Is that really me?
Are those the thoughts that my mind sets free?'
They should instead be taken away.

Away to sea,
Away to water,
Away where nothing ever falters.

Words can make you feel
Many different things.
Words can make you feel
As if you have wings.

Words can also hurt
And make you feel a mess.
Words can make you change
How you look and how you dress.

Words are very dangerous
Although they're all around.
But what would happen if
They made not a sound?

The world would just feel empty
With no joy to be found.
What pleasure it does bring
That we do have sound!

So be happy we have words-
Just use them carefully
Because they are sharp
And can cut into me.