All the seasons have come
And brought many things with it
As well as many changes
My health improved,
I became stronger,
And found myself
Again!

2016 was but now it is almost gone
Not forgetting it
But remembering what it brought
Into my life

Now here comes 2017
Bringing more
Leading to what I had been planning
Taking effect
With the hopes off succeeding this coming year

dipping, soaring. swerving
with sounds of their symphony
which they could only know
I hear, I listen
I see, I believe
with so few words to say
I wish I could say more

With mixed feelings and emotions
Once I couldn't understand them
Much less know what they meant
It felt like something was wrong within me
But today I've come to know
A little more about what they mean

They are my reactions of external influences
A natural reaction
A human reaction
Something not to be afraid off
But to help me realize that I'm normal
And only human

Last Christmas I didn't spend time with family
But with friends
This Christmas I'll do it with friends
Again!
Exchanging gifts,
Opening gifts,
And being thankful for all that I've gotten
I'll enjoy the Perneal ham my roommate will bake
Celebrate another roommate's birthday
All these things I'll do on Christmas Day

This year is not quite gone
But I am already at the end of it
Like you
Times and moments
May have tested you
Or even tried your ability to deal with challenges
Be it a test or a challenge
It prove to be fruitful or fruitless
One or the other?
I know I survived this year
With much agony, pain, and healing
Now I am at the point of recovery
I mean its' nearing it's end
Just like I thought it would

Tonight I found out I wasn't for me
But for someone else
He isn't perfect
But he's mines
I'm not perfect either
But I'm his

I waited almost half my life to find him
But I didn't know it would be him
Mines and only mines
A man I've come to know
A man I've come to love

Then what could all this mean?
Is it a turning point for both of us?
Or is it the time to realize that we are meant to be together?
Or to be there for each other?
Or you tell me?

as one said pen and paper becomes our friends
when there's no one else
we write our innermost thoughts
that no one should know
it could be about love, hate, anger, or even our frustrations
but once said it becomes shared on paper
sometimes we let others know
and sometimes we don't

You may not know them
But I do
I want to reveal their names
But I'm hesitant
Why?
They are not selfish
Because they gave when I needed
And these two are Dr Andrew Ridgeley formerly of Wham now a doctor
And Dr Mark Schuller of Northern Illinois University

I met Andrew with George Michael
At that time Andrew saw how I felt
A little depressed and sad
I didn't know how he knew but he saw the sad expression on my face
And he looked at me with concern
As he would
He understood
I then would smile
Because someone saw and showed concern

Dr Mark Schuller was a professor
I came to admire
Came to be my mentor.

my teeth grit at the sound of your footsteps
before you appear
you run like I don't know
you speak like a little boy
all these things make me mad
because of you

apart from each other
distant their relationship would become
grew up as boys into
that friendship never died
now men of success
also men of achievements
with lives to call their own

this morning i awoke but torn inside
angered easily
distorted by reality
and I am even more angered with myself
i couldn't do what i want
then i decided i would write these words of my frustrations
I am isolated now
which brings even more alienation
but would i rather it this way?
I do not know
But i'd like to know
As i write i find myself
back to my space and own time
thanks to my keyboard

History seemed unknown to me
But I guessed what it might be
Until I learnt
The people of Ferguson Misouri reacted to a child's death
Civil rights violated
While another died at the hands of others mishandling
The situation
Then sometime three days ago
Boommh!
Their gunned down while eating
Whose wrong?
Whose right?
When is it right?
Why is it wrong or right?
Death is the loss of lives
Not a game

I am siting here pondering
While pensive about my future
What does it hold?
Do I know?
Or don't I know?
Will I know?

Many questions, many answers
I want to work again
While I can again
This is a goal I want
This is a goal I must achieve

I 'll have to seek it to find it
Not just one I"ll seek
But many until I find the right one

I wish and hope for all my needs and wants to be met
As I want all my dreams and aspirations to come through for me
As I pursue my life
In the direction in which I am heading
I know where I'm going
What my destination is
And when I'll get there
It will be the ****** to one journey I will travel
With many more to come
And many more journeys to travel
I'll go where I want
Get what I need
And conclude that there'll be even more than I expect or know off

my pain was too much
too much even for painkillers to ease it
it felt good
while it lasted
smoking a joint was enough
or maybe even two
no one knew
but only myself
when i did it
Guess what?

My eyes couldn't see
until I saw your rainbow
such sad eyes
take a turn
show courage
you find courage
when you find your strengths
weaknesses you had
but that didn't last long
until you showed your colors