Tick tock of my heart
Waiting for my life to start.
Tick tock all alone
Lips to teeth and skin to bone.

I just want to be content
With how I live and living’s rent.

Maybe by the day I’m laid down
Six long feet underground,
My eyes full of wonder, I will see
How beautiful life can really be.

m.c.c.

Hurt is a beautiful thing.
It’s a collage of broken memories.
It’s visible, yet no one sees.
It’s a swirl of mixed emotions
And full of lost devotions.
It’s almost pain, but not quite there,
Yet still, it’s more than I can bear.

m.c.c.

Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t care.
You never did and never will.
That’s what I live for baby.
Those words in that voice
Screaming out “Don’t you see?!”

Look me in the eyes and say those things to me.
That’s what I want.
That’s what I need.

Don’t pretend you care,
Or that you’ll always be there.
I know you won’t.
I know the truth,
Even if you don’t.

Just say those little things right in my ear,
And give me a reason to end this all here.

If you don’t, I’ll just go on
The same old way I always have,
Living like this
With the tears and the slits.
That’s what I live for baby.
That’s how I live with this,

Knowing you don’t care,
You never have and never will.
Well darling, that’s enough to ****.

m.c.c.

I can't help it
The evil I'm drawn to

It pours out of me
Like hot coffee
Energizing and burning
Flowing and covering
Everything in its path

I can't help that
No matter what I do
The evil inside me
Is drawn to the best parts of you

I can't help the fact
That I hurt you
It's simply what I do

I feel like you should know better
At least by now
After all we've been through

If you think I've changed
That will never be true
The evil inside of me
Will always be drawn
To the good inside you

m.c.c.

I hate every little thing about him,
But I'm drawn to him in a way no one can deny.
He sees me for what I am,
And I see him for what he is,
And we are both horrible
In the most beautiful way,

And I don't want to say
Something like opposites attract
Because it is overused and has lost its meaning,
The very definition of cliché,
But for some reason
This is the phrase that represents us best.

We are complete and total opposites,
And I hate the things he says
And the things he does.
I kind of wish I could punch him in the face,
And maybe someday I will,
But for now I must be content
With saying I love him.
With every essence of my being,
I love him.

God knows why,
And maybe God doesn't even know why.
I sure don't.
But maybe that's what's beautiful about us,
Him and me.

It's just that fact
That neither one of us knows why
When I look into his eyes,
I can't help but feel my face burn with passion,
Burn with hatred,

And maybe that's what love is.
You hate someone so much it makes you crazy,
And the only way to be sane
Is to get back at him in the best way
To make him fall in love with you,
And you with him.

The only way to calm the hatred
Is to **** it, after all.

Though it never truly dies.
It's always there,
That burning feeling
Of him just under your skin,
And maybe that is the phrase's true meaning.
It's not the annoyance we all take it to be,
But that burning sensation
I feel when he turns his hazel eyes to me,

And now I know,
Without a doubt,
That no matter how much I hate him,
I will always and forever more
Love him and everything he is.

m.c.c.

I took a step back
And took it all in,
Looking at this scene
As if it were a movie on the big screen
Projected up for everyone to see

And not until then did I realize
This is not my life anymore.
However much it used to be me
However much I want it to be
However much it used to mean to me
Simply does not matter
And I fear it never will again.

It's a twisted sort of funny
The way something can mean so much to you
But at the same time,
You can leave it all in an instant.
That was my life,
The scene I am standing here watching.

It's so strange,
Being on the outside.
I've never seen things this way before.
I guess that is part of leaving the past behind,
Leaving that part of you

And after you leave it
It begins to change
In ways you never could have expected,
But there is nothing you can do
For you are on the outside
Looking in on what you used to know.

And I guess this is when it hit me hardest,
Watching these people,
That maybe I was never a part of this,
Maybe this was never a part of me
For if it had been, if I had been,
Would they and I not feel a loss?
One of those holes you feel
Deep down inside of you.

I don't know what I was then,
But I was obviously never them,
For that hole is not there.
I don't feel its presence at least

And still, even though I am quite aware now
That they do not miss me
And I do not miss them,
I still feel something,
An indescribable feeling.
It's not pain but it's not happiness.
It's that in between that I've been feeling quite often lately.

I'm not sad that I left this world behind,
Nor am I happy.
I am indifferent to this world in the most emotional way possible.

I can't describe it,
But it is there.
I feel its presence eating slowly away at my soul,
But I could never even hope of explaining myself
But here I am anyway,
Trying.

m.c.c.

Breathe in,
Breathe out.
Take a deep breath.
Keep breathing.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
What am I going to do
When the only reason I was breathing
Was you?

m.c.c.