You still think about us, I know you do... I trust you do,
but you know, however much it does hurt,
some things are better left at that.
We'll always be miles, worlds and an hour apart...
I once told you that you would outgrow us someday,
it's your right to grow, to find yourself. I loved you,
I love you and love you I always will,
but that is as much as it goes,
you found a love deeper and closer than I could ever get.
You were a bird, I nurtured you to fly, let nothing hold you back.
Not even me, ours were dreams born dead,
I would hate to think we buried them alive.
Am a poet, it's my curse to write about love and not have it,
I even found someone, as understanding as you,
little less beautiful but understanding, she has someone else as well.
So it's my destiny, not to find someone I can call home,
I am a wanderer in this life, a rudderless ship in a shoreless ocean,
I am just that thought you'll have only when you're feeling low,
at midnight when you're alone. Am just a poet,
only words can love me and not let go.
So do not hurt yourself looking back,
it's not where you're headed, go for greatness...
sadness is my home, sobs are my laugh
and lonely is my company, I already made peace with that,
that's why I have to let you fly.

I want to walk away, to go yonder the end of the road
at the horizon whence the Sun sleeps, and hands the night his sword
for she's a heaven I can't have and that's putting me through hell
so I want to go beyond the reach of her spell
to go further than my teary eyes can see
I want to board a boat and sail across the Sea
where my phone will cease to buzz, far away to drink from safer bars
so I won't have to think about what her absence does
to me, I want to follow the river to wherever she'll flow
for someday he'll walk her down the isle, I can't take the blow
so since this passion will never go and since this is something I can't out grow
albeit I knew right from the start that she ain't my boat to row
I would rather be broken by the hard fall on grounds of goodbye
instead of waiting for a harder fall on melancholy to make me cry.
I want to go where none has seen or heard of her ambiance
so that for the rest of my life I can speak and write of her radiance
and be the lad who loved enough to let go
as sometimes love is letting them stay where they prefer
even when you feel you have more to offer.
That's why I want to go...

You'd give up and I'd be sorry you quit
scotch and I'd apologize for the heat
Dump me, I'd be deeply sorry for falling
leave and I'd be sorry for the desolation
trapped in the rain I'd apologize for the storm
cut me and I'd be remorseful for bleeding
shoot me, I'd go on my knees for dying
You'd set me on fire and I'd apologize for burning,
throw me in the ocean, I'd be sorry for drowning...
That's how deep these emotions run,
you're closer than anyone's ever been to my heart
I swear, you'd leave and I'd apologize that we're apart
I'd apologize for a million things, my fault or not,
even for loving you, even if you've never felt the same...

I wanted to travel the world with you  the first time we locked Eyes
to build wings and fly the skies even if I had to cut all other ties..
I didn't have to practice holding your hand
and stroking it, you were my magic wand
Your presence lingered here even in your absence
like a drug, you were something that changed my life
you were a revolution that altered my view of things, my renaissance
for from the moment we met I didn't just see a complete lady, I saw my wife...
I shut my eyes ever since and all I saw was you in my future, in my arms
it was the one thing in every storm I faced that calms
in the torment of every today you were my tomorrow,
you were the bridge of happiness that got me past oceans of sorrow
up till now you still are my greatest glory, my favorite story
for I believed you were the adventure I'd never quit writing
and just so you know, losing you was my biggest worry
you were my peace in turmoil, a war I won without fighting
the symphonic euphonium that deafened me to all caution
you were my Brandy, a concrete alcoholic concoction
the touch of your lips knocked me out with one sip of your kiss
washed away all my melancholy, stitched my wounds and bandaged them with bliss
You're a dream I cherished, one I dreaded waking from
a stranger, in a very long time who felt like home...
From the on set I knew, you were a the one
the one I'd been dying to meet, the one who totally got my foolish wit
the one who swept me off my feet, the one who sat my soul on the edge of the seat
and all I asked myself was, what took you so long?
as my only regret was I didn't meet you early enough
for with you a mellinium would still be inadequate,
I'd ask God for more time with you at half past forever
if that was possible, I'd live a thousand lives
with you and that wouldn't be enough, you're heaven
say heaven would be hell without you, you're an Angel among men.
You're a crown, you make me feel like a king
I needn't a throne or kingdom, you're my everything.
I thank God everyday for you
I love you, I always will.

When you left, it was like my favorite library went down in monstrous flames
like my affiliate soccer club losing by a
very close margin the decisive games
it was like a great storm pouring on your first visit to the beach
yet you saved a lifetime, and journeyed a 1000 miles to get there
and you doubt you'll ever make it to the Lake side again
It was like taking a bullet close to the heart that didn't **** you instantly
it choked you, but left you to gasp for breath and deal with the pain
knowing you'll eventually succumb to the throb and the ooze
like that split second after you kick the bucket that you dread the noose
but there's no turning back, no way to survive even with a million clues
It was like being caught in the open by an unanticipated hurricane
fully aware you're either going by being blown by a giant cyclone
or freeze to a human marble before the force is come
It was like a catchy novel ending with a melancholic twist
you wish you never started reading in the first place
like, at the eleventh hour, your Dobby burning the wedding dress
leaving you an angry bride and a whole other mess
that would live after you like your shadow at dawn for the rest of your life
It was like rewatching your favorite childhood film
and realizing it wasn't as good as you always thought
and wondering why you went turning over the rocks of the past
like finding out your best friend is boyfriend to your secret crush
It was like losing a close person to a plane crush or an inferno
you receive bits and pieces, you bury the ashes
yet the hopes survive, yet nothing haunts like when such hopes are alive
you live after the belief that someday they'll fly out
oblivion like a phoenix and hug you tight if only for just one more time
it was like finding a free verse that beats all rhyme
in a collection so tattered that most of it can't be read
so you're left dying of curiosity and dread
Losing you was like saying goodbye to your friends at graduation
conscious it could be the end to a great season of your existence
but trying so hard to resist asking the obvious question
or one that wouldn't hatch answers but unfortunate tension
it was worse, it was agreeing to meet after a year and being the only one that showed up at the rendezvous
it was believing the folk stories and growing up to the realization that none of it was true
It made my childhood roses and chocolate
but what do I have now that Santa won't bring an avalanche of
breathtaking kisses to my lips on Christmas Eve?
Losing you changed me, if anything, for worse
it was like watching my soul burn when you left
like a wild fire that I doubt even time knows when it will stop
that's how big a difference you made in my life
and I don't care whether you believe me or not
after all I don't even believe I let you in that deep.
I was stupid to open all the doors and windows
and think only the rays of good intentions would sip in.
You were my everything and guess what?
when you left, there was nothing left!
Not even me...

You took my breath away perfecting your sigh
I lost my wings teaching you how to fly
you know, it cost me my smile to diminish your cry...
I lost my way seeking to find you a path
and my shine to enhance your glow...
I lost reason struggling to build your thought
plus my vision attempting to make you see
that I was manacled just to set you free.
to see you rise I fell, you deserved a fairytale
I gave up my heaven to put you out your hell.
I lost my grip keeping you in touch, my faith inspiring you to church
healed your wound I got a scratch, amputated trying to be your crutch
I hated showing you how to truly love
and to keep you on the straight I had to swerve
for ours was a seesaw, I lifted you high whilst dropping low,
I lost all I had to provide the plenty you sought
because I valued you so much I forgot my worth

Am the sky above and the yonder in space,
a vast universe that won't fit in your case
Am a glowing moon upon your night
you see your shadow beneath my light
Am the Ocean that's deep and vast
I can't be kept away in your pocket
yet again am that tiny seed when buried am cast
to suffocate into blooming Flora that makes life worth it
Am that lonely road you're bound to follow
and find yourself, you're lost, am your campus
am company when you're riding solo
a poignant piece of poetry lying upon a tattered canvas
Am a pregnant cloud hovering the endless skies,
but I'll soon come pouring in soothing patters of rain
cause I know that underneath your gentle sighs
there's a great deal of untold pain...
in your darkest hour, am the last speck of light,
the deem power of faith left in your torch
Am the sun of expectations when you need a ray of hope in sight
and the shed when in need of an escape from scotch
am the flapping sail in perilous currents above  the boat
and no matter the strength of waves I'll keep you afloat...
in the hurricane of your existence, I am the calm
for I am who I am
am air, invisible like nowhere yet anywhere and everywhere
that even when you're deafened by despair
am the wind you hear silently whispering, "I ****** care"!
**I am that and this,
I am love and peace

You always had the keys... you did, but you chose the chains because something in them was beautiful. You always knew the destination was close, but you chose the painful journey, you chose the adventure. You could have chosen the obvious, but obvious wasn't meant for you, you were born to be different, to let go of the good for the greater good. You could have had heaven, but there was an Angel in Hell you had to set free, no matter the price.

My naked eyes
hardly see beyond her luscious chest
I doubt after I venture her thighs**
we'll still keep abreast.

It's not a thousand miles you should be afraid of,
It's easier to walk those than a mile away from love.
No matter how bad it hurts to stay
it always feels like the best choice on the scale of preference...
Love is the longest distance you'll ever walk,
sometimes even without barging an inch.

Why's it that long after you did my heart shatter
the rains of melancholy on my soul still do patter?
Why are the scars still bearing the sore feeling
centuries after they coated in the name of healing?

The waves have washed me far from where I belong
I think I can't remember who I was...
I will always be gone for so long
but time and again still find the shores...

And here I was thinking she's my happy ending...
the road of life has a funny way of suddenly bending.

Like a grey shade to a shadow, a dead heart in the meadow
with loneliness I cuddle, enroute desolation and it's a hurdle
am crawling through a place where lies are true
where my tears brew for I might end up with one who isn't you
trying to slay this longing for a place s'one else's belonging
it's like roaming in a cold rain when the hail is storming
am a cold cloud wafting through a dark sky
a breathless lung aching to have a sigh
You're my breath, only you can set me free of these chains
It's like forcing sleep in hope of appearing in another's dream
for you're half empty, and only they can fill you to the brim
only you can touch my skin and erase the thoughts and pains...
Only you...

She was a wild fire, he was burning ice
frozen by the cold flames in her Eyes...
She was a sky, he was a cloud for the rain
always falling for her in a pleasure of pain...
She was a dream that robbed him of sleep
yet an illusive reality he couldn't grasp or keep...
a grape on a loose branch, he never stopped gaping
for he was no fox to start sourgraping...
she was a wave in an Ocean he'd never learn to surf
he was an incomplete circle, she was that better half...
She was his everything, but he said nothing
she lived gracefully, he died to say something
as she was a flying Eagle he'd never ceased to watch
and he was the same old tree hoping someday she'd perch...

I haven't changed, am still the kid you knew
one heard by an entire world but understood by few
Am still the guy that would go the extra mile
crying on the inside yet donning a smile
the lad that had no sense of style
one whose number was never on your dial
who never went a day without showing you some love
albeit you thought you were far beyond what he did deserve
that kid you only remembered in times of crisis
who was your favorite after class tutor
the one who always vivisected the impossible essays
but who seemingly had more of a past but no future...
who barely made it to second, let alone first class
one you assured had nothing it takes to date any lass
yet always had your back and handled you gingerly like Glass
Am still that lad at whom you'd crazily hoot
and smile nonchalantly cruising off while he went the foot...
the kid obsessed with romance books
only thing ached for beyond that being your charming looks
the kid who whimpered at the mere mention of calculus
whose sweaty limbs, touching, you thought was ridiculous
Am still that kid that would never stop flirting
one in whom you found a lot of pleasure hurting
making jokes of how impotent it was having the hots
for you, who was never man enough to you for the shorts
with a brief height you found revolting
whose flowery adorations you found insulting...
that kid you often estranged
Am still that kid, nothing's changed ..

They said I could be anyone I wanted to but they were wrong
I wanted to be like your favorite song
to be a part of your magical fairytale,
your heart's charm and your soul's breathtaking Dale
I wanted to be a sunrise in your awakening
the floret that greets your smile while you reconcile
reality from the panoramic view of Wonderland
the first voice that seeks to know what Morpheus had to say
and the feet that shuffle right next to yours along the isle
as you walk into the much loathed cacophonic routines of everyday
I wanted to be the thoughts in your head as you
ply your trade from dawn to dusk
the inspiration that helps you crack every labyrinthine task,
like a lonesome butterfly dancing in elation
to relax your mind and mitigate any tension,
to help you endure racaous that comes with responsibility
and the arms that hold yours to congratulate you
upon getting through every other day,
I wanted to be the mouth that acknowledged your milestones
or the palms on the wheel driving you home
I wanted to be the shoulders you lean on
plus the arms you laugh and grieve in,
a place where your comfort does truly begin
I wanted to be your companion on this life long journey
many have deemed the rest of our lives
your blessing, alas! Your for better for worse...
I wanted to be your biggest fan as you concur the elements
to share with you proceeds from my dream tenements...
for thee so much I craved to be and tried to do more than just want
but the more I embraced desire the bigger and more excruciating her flames burnt
I said hello you said goodbye,
making me think "You can be anything" was merely a big fat lie...
Countless is the much I wanted to be, it's still haunting
that ultimately the best I could do was "wanting"...
Nothing more.

You're free to claim what life's giving you is meager
but we all know life ain't all the cause ******
Like the dying chain smoker cursing the cigar
yet it's obvious the bullet ain't to blame but the hand behind that trigger
you can cry foul, call her a ***** and gold digger
like at the touch of treasure in her Allan's wicker your pickle didn't grow bigger
like you didn't play in dirt with barefoot, loathe the jigger...
you can wait for answers or go seek out for them with vigor
You may keep on chasing shadow instead of figure
Growing up to the adults maybe we could've been less eager
if we only knew there was bitter to that sugar...
we had big dreams, I wanted to be an Author, she'd marry Bieber
she settled for a lad who loves her less than he loves liquor
she was sweet, but to his tongue the better was the bitter
and his thirst grew rocketing him to gallons from litre
and well, the apart twixt me and my dream is canyoning quicker
We was all reaching for the stars with glitter
we all wanted to be saints than sinners like Peter
but then you know life's turns at a complex angle theta
You don't always get to your dreams or maybe you do if you ain't no quitter...
So keep shooting for the stars even when left with a single bullet
chase after paper till you can fill beyond your wallet...
and when you buy the shoe remember all you once had was a slipper
so that you can even go harder, and be a lifetime seeker...
and when you land on the moon you didn't fail, be strong
you just found the destination whence you belong...

Keep happy, smile...
Run your life like a Train, trust the tracks,
sometimes you have to trust the guidance of your life
for God knows why your road meanders left or right...
He's the tracks that'll see you through the day and night...
It might take a year, two or ten, it doesn't matter when
as long as you don't derail, you will reach your destination...

I will fly like I won't ever fall
Then I might fall so hard like I won't ever fly again...
but then out of that ash of pain
I will rise...
I will sleep and dream of a forever with you
yet in the wake of reality I will open my eyes
to the dead fantasies you thought would come true
I will love so passionately like it will last ..
then I will hate you like you didn't even exist...
yet the more my repulsion the harder I'll be for you to resist
your beautiful big heart will develop a crack
and like any jewel suffer the loss of its worth
for my life ain't a straight path;
you will get lost trying to keep track
none will locate the old you, some things we never find...
I am an alloy of mean and kind
I see so much invisibles albeit am blind
I am a past in tomorrow, you are a future left behind...
I will fly like I might never perch
and you will have no other choice but to watch
but always remember, it won't be your fault
I am the constructive hurricane that's twisted
a saccharine that's filled with salt
which you will derail while trying to save from being wasted
because you just can't guess I am a mess
a mess beyond your grace
I will fly like I won't ever fall
that'll be the beginning of the end of it all
so I'll apologize even before your world falls apart
even before I grow wings and hit the sky
before I even master the art of flap and fly
Am sorry I am going to break your heart

Consumed by hunger, creed to my philosophical mind feed
and by greed of finding more words you may never read
I stared straight at the sun and my eyes hurt
when I noticed it doesn't hurt with my eyes shut
and whatever still aches is 'cause am looking back
at the wounded mark rather than the new doors of luck...
With eyes shut the heat was doing my icy spirits unfreeze
I listened to the serenity of the of the breeze amidst trees,
they said sometimes lads move on but on their knees
and it's what the shards gotta do as it's all there's
that as long as I walk there'll always be a road to follow
and as long as I despair my soul will often be hollow...
so am gonna find another to hitch on my ride rather than go solo
I'll drink to quench the fires of my delusion
I'll make a path through which to move on of this confusion
even if it was a perilously deep first incision
and albeit it took so long to make this decision
to finally cope with the fact that we're totally through
and to find happiness in a world void of you
rather than hurt myself and others along trying to find another you
am glad I bled this long,it proves every word I said was true...
I hope you know whilst you promised to be there till your very last breath
I never promised but my affection's bound to outlive my death...
All the same, I'd still wait for you but I've run out of years
I was willing to cry forever, but I run out of tears
yet as well learned that I can be Superman to another Lois
and the only distance there's between melancholy and Joy's just a choice...
So I've made this choice, to laugh louder than I ever cried
to tend to all the bruises I have inside
to make a presence of your absence and to live as much as I died...

Ultimately, I want to prove my younger self was right to dream big
to swim in phantasmal fantasies of wines albeit the absence of a single fig
to think of driving the wall Street whilst barely floating the dusty street...
that he was right to build castles in this cyclo charged air,
and in the end I wanna be proud of the foundations I put up...
working tirelessly to meet those castles, never giving up.
I want to look back with pride of never ceasing to dare...
I just want to eagerly peer back at my perspiration
and tell not sad tales but those of great inspiration
of not only the shaky bridges there were, the hails and storms
but of how I withered, of how bare I walked roads with thorns.
I want to congratulate me for dreaming without sleep...
in the end, for climbing on and on, no matter how steep...
the cliffs of life proved to be, I want to look back and smile
at the millions of good deeds,
as part of great memories I sowed midst perilous weeds
in the end, I don't want to have so many regrets
I want my name written in the stars along the twinkling greats
in the end I want to be remembered for walking the extra mile
it's easy to be that lad the universe easily forgot
when the tsunami wave blew along as soon as death
sighed and took in a gluttonous deep breath
it's hard to be the greatest of all time, the GOAT
but I'd rather be proud of myself for trying and failing
in the end, rather than even failing to try
ultimately, I'd rather bear scars of attempting a fly in the high
than surrendering to life in the pits of low...
it didn't matter how long it took, fast or slow
I just want to be proud of me for going against the flow
whether small or as wide as a container lorry
no worries, I just need some story of my glory...
"He didn't shine so bright though",
I want them to say in the end, "but few will forget his glow"...
that's why I work my fingers to the bone
to move my city from my town and turn my dusk to a dawn...
In the end, this life goes so fast so snappy
but as I out grow this world, I wanna look back and be happy.
Ultimately...

She was not sweet, neither was she sour...
She was pretty awesome, somewhere in between...
If she were to be compared to anything
I believe she was water...
incomparable to anything
but just pretty cool to drink...
I think..

When I feel scared, when I think that the next challenge could be tougher than I can manage,
when the bridge seems too shaky for me to cross... When the days are stormy and the roads thorny
and it feels like my bare feet won't get me a far... Wen the Ocean of life's too wavy for me to sail
and yet the voyage of time will not wait for the waves to pass, when the clouds are too thick
and the promise of the rain of despair is almost confirmed, when the stabbing drizzle has already started,
family's always my rainbow for no challenge will ever be greater than that which with my family I've overcome...
and no nights will ever be darker than those their light's seen me through... No matter how long,
no journey will ever beat the distance it's taken us to reach here... That's why no matter how hot the crucible may get,
I will always get through cooked for a better menu rather than burnt...Family's my last refuge,
family's my inspiration and most of all, family's my boat...
No Ocean will ever be rougher than my family can sail me through,
no love will ever be Family's true...
That's why no matter how far I go, how deep I think, how high I fly, how much I write
no matter how many battles I fight, the greatest weapon and armour God always blesses me with is family...

You fed me on love but never taught how to survive
when the times of drought come, and ultimately, they did arrive
you planted roses of promises all over the garden of my heart
florets I was fooled to believe would bloom just like that
why didn't you ever tell me that roses only bloomed in the abundance of rain
so at least I'd water my soul in such moments rather than see the flowers of hope in my heart whither in pain
you held my hand for so long, never gave me a single chance to learn
how to trudge the boulevard of desolation, not once did you let me walk alone
you dressed me in the warm sweat shirt of your tight embrace
like I'd wear it for forever, like I'd wear it until it is all tattered and old
Never ever did I ever imagine someday you'd peel it off and leave me in cold
you hugged me so selflessly, smiled that I forgot how to live without the face
You took me swimming in the deep end of the Oceans of romance
yet didn't tell me that I survived the perilous adventures by chance...
You taught me how to dance, how to listen to music and let flow through and thrive
but didn't tell me that once you left the same symphony would leave me barely alive
You encouraged me to always make memories no matter the cost
if only I had known those memories would return taunting like a Gothic ghost
haunt my mind and leave me hopeless and lost,
like a rudderless ship washed by waves to some unknown coast
to an extent, I'd pray for a down pour of amnesia to wash away the things a valued most
Maybe you should have warned me that love was sweet and sour
that it is a beautiful rose but does fade like any other beautiful flowers
that even if we were a bed of roses even roses have spiky thorns
and that Hearts fracture so bad much as they bear no bones...
You should have told me fairy tales were merely stories we were told to find sleep
that much as you were mine to hold, it was no guarantee you were mine to keep...
you should have told me all the secrets you concealed and the dark side you hid
maybe I wouldn't have believed you then, but it probably could have hurt less than it actually did

Sometimes you ask yourself, does she understand
does she understand what you mean when you
fight through the cold fog of numbing fear to face
her and stutter the words "I love you"
Does she understand it takes more than
just courage to utter some words, does she
know how deep you have to dig to find the right
way to roll the tongue and move your paralysed
teeth just to construct a single sentence...
Sometimes you wonder whether she knows or not
that it takes a thousand heart blips, a ****** labyrinthine
conundrum and a relentless soul to make a single step
across the emotional bridge...
Sometimes you wonder whether she really gets it
when you say she's the road you were destined to
walk without which you won't move on for no matter
how much you'll try, without the road you're stuck to
a single spot, sometimes you ask yourself whether
or not she gets what you mean when you say you
lost your way in the blue Ocean of her eyes and only
the north star of her affection can find you a bearing
back to the shores of reality yet the more the thought
the more the plunder of wonder...especially when you
finally realize she may understand yet not get it...
For how can she get it when even you knows storms
of romance do carry with them heart shuttering thunder
when even you have heard the same lines in songs
when millions of poems say the very thing
some even expressing them in a much more intricate
manner than you can ever weave, how can she get it
when the guy before you said the same thing and
only left a heart he found whole scattered like stars
in the milky way, not that they are not beautiful from afar
when she's probably saving you from her invisible ugly scar
one that will drive you away as soon as she drops the veils
and opens up the fragile side that she hides from the world...
What's there to grasp when her father used a similar phrase
to lure her Mama into an abyss of torment so much she grew up like
an orphan as her Mama could not take it anymore and had
to run off, never to be seen again, when her teacher
defiled her best friend with the allure of something not so different...
when she's read Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde and more
where it all ends but in tragedy, fire or War...
What's there to understand when you aren't even sure if what
you feel's passion enough to light all way to forever... and you
know she's no longer playing games, she's been disappointed many times
and she won't simply fall for a beautiful piece simply because it rhymes...
And then you wonder, who'll find you when your rescue is more
lost than you have ever been...