The countless tears that trickled to my lips while reading your letters. Pearls thrown to swine every time I spoke my thoughts to you.  There wasn’t a day that had passed that I didn’t miserably breathe your name

Pleading for mercy you said the same words that I once spoke to you.

Now you’re gone, departed before a red right hand...

The look you gave me tonight was the look I’ve always truly wanted from you. A look of helplessness. Hopelessness. Breathlessness.  The way I always looked at you.

Now my shivering silver blade is the only friend I have left...

I  say my last goodbye to that cold permanent expression on your face. One last time.

“If i can't have you my dearest, no one can”

Out cold like a pebble lost in an intangible lake. I am the pebble, and my lake, a  bottomless ocean of unconsciousness. I can feel the cool bite of blackness sink it's teeth into my brain...

Moonlight drapes my room tonight like the ancient dust found in old abandoned houses. Filling every crack, every crevice. I try and drift, for just a second but my heart drops and I'm awakened.

For when I let my eyelids close, I see a manner of things that frighten me and my fleeting glimpses of sleep are diminished. Thus the forlorn story of my insomnia repeats itself yet again.

Is my mind cursed?
Am I being haunted?
Why can I see such frightful things inside my head?

Every night's  a nightmare and it seems the dreams are  scarce. Unsheathing myself from the covers, I look at my reflection, just to reassure myself that I'm whole.

Oh I'm whole.

But. There she is. Someone else. Someone unknown. Staring back at me from behind. A shiver shakes my spine and rattles my knees. I'm numb , my body is frozen in time.

I am haunted by the kiss in your eyes, the kiss you can’t give me. Your family disapproves of me, and so do your friends. They will probably never approve of me but in the end they are going to admire my strength and faithfulness. They are going to realize that I will never, never give up on you no matter how hard they make it for us to be together. One day, they will understand that this kind of love, in itself, deserves to be returned.
When I am in bed, about to sleep, or when I’m alone and lost in my thoughts, suddenly I meet your face, and I know you’re the one for me, no matter what stands between us.
I love you more because I have to fight for you.