...



*But we aren’t love birds
I’ll get lonely if you leave
But I wouldn’t die

As the tears are drying
And the heart stops hurting
And the love starts fading





*She also stops writing

The intensity of your gaze
Could turn me into ashes
Wishing it's a stare of amaze
But darling, I know, we lost our chances

That look in your eyes
Are to cover the lies
And the look in my eyes
Are pretentious, a disguise
that I knew nothing of your crime

I'll take the fire in your eyes
Even if it will burn me alive
I don't want to hear the truth
Love me still, even if it's just a lie

Great about the net?
Is I get to stalk my crush
Get some pics and blush :)

Foolish heart, hear my warning
Stop before you start falling

Hemorrhage

a fatal hemorrhage
blood blood blood
hurt hurts the heart
but the patient poet
is still breathing, alive
blood dripping
draining her out
but she’s a fighter and so
she bleed words instead
the page is almost full
but still a hemorrhage of words
continuously pours out
from her jaded soul and broken heart

some love
like a zephyr
gentle, it will make you feel it
some love
like a gust
sudden, it will make you sway
but my love
oh my love for you darling
like a whirlwind
dangerous, powerful
it will blow you away

i lost to lust
and let it win
now i feed myself
between your legs
hell indulgence
tastes like heaven
let it consume me
until i’m done

in between the ending
and this new beginning
lies an infinity of unknown
afraid maybe, but still
brave enough to take chances

i watched you slipped away
slowly taken away by time
the morning
you died in my arms
i didn’t know i could die
a million times

lay me in bed of flowers
i want roses- white, yellow, and blue
i also want a red dress
put me a make up with shades of blue

keep the lights on
i want my place bright
sing me my favorite song
don’t leave me at night

let my friends- fake and real
say all the nice things
let my family cry and feel
all the sadness and loss that stings

mourn, mourn for me
give me your best cry
say you’ll remember me
with eyes of jeopardy

but on my last day here on earth
don’t make me feel that i’ve lost to death
instead please tell the afterlife
that i’ll bring sunshine and light

Post Valentine

*the flowers i gave you yesterday
will soon wither
the chocolates, the teddy bear
will soon lose its hype
the love letters, these poems
will be kept in a box
but darling, my love for you
will never fade, will never be locked up
it will forever blossom
it will forever linger, in me, in you
in us, a love that lasts..

Piece by piece she picked herself up
Glued each broken parts, until she's whole again
There are holes and cracks
But still, she's functional
Soon her soul will recover
Soon her wounds will heal


And when the healing process is over
She will be the best version of herself
Braver, a stronger one, unbreakable
No more rivers of tears
No more sad lullabies
No more breaking hearts


Yes she will recover,
But her heart will turn into a stone

love of my life
let me be your
eternal shadow not
your temporary sunshine
love of my life
my queen, my lifeline
my love for you
is within every breath
of this lifetime

Tell me
The first time you met
How your stomach spinned
How the butterflies danced

Tell me
The first time you talked
How you fidgeted on your own
How you stuttered with every word

Tell me
The first time you touched
How your senses aroused
How your heart wanting to burst

Tell me
The first time you dated
How the billion of stars aligned
How the lovely moon smiled

Tell me
The first time you kissed
How time momentarily stopped
How magical, ephemeral it felt

Tell me
The first time he forgot
How betrayed you felt
How petty it seemed

Tell me
The first drop of tear
How you tried to wipe it away
How you acted okay

Tell me
The first time he lied
How hard you cried all night
How you forgave the next light

Tell me
The first time you fight
How he screamed so loud
How you hide like a child

Tell me
The first time he tried to break up
How your heart almost stopped
How you shamelessly begged

Tell me
The first time he walked away
How you cried in despair
How heart broken you've been

Tell me
The first sign of fading away
How the fire slowly loses it’s spark
How the story unfolds a twisted plot

Now tell me
How nights were so long, sleepless
How tears were almost blood
How dumb and numb and doomed it felt

Now tell me
How you handled the pain
How you remain “in-sane”
How you stitched every broken part

Now tell me
How time has nothing to do with it
How moving on was so hard
A state of mind, a choice

Now tell me
The moment you let go
The moment you forgive
The moment you walked away

-of memories
-the people specially him
-from the past, the pain

Now tell me
How freeing it felt
How the burden was lifted
How the heart was relieved

Now tell me
The moment you smiled again
The wicked grin “i’m over it”
The moment you’re living again

Now tell me, after him
The first smile
The first life
Ahh, much sweeter, better, genuine

Now tell me
That you learned a great deal
That you are stronger than before
That “first love” will always be special

Now that you’ve told me your story
I know, i know, you’re over it..

A haiku a day
Keeps my sanity at bay
A refreshing way

Write down the lines
Then burn it with the lies
Shut the mouth that sins
Seal it with a kiss
Bodies collided
The heat cannot be denied
Let lust consume me
To forget what he’s done to me
It was meant to end in fight
But naked in dimlight
When did it became a habit
To let our bodies speak
Instead of listening to our heartbeats?
I guess I can't desist
My desire for you I insist
And it's stronger than your sins

let’s unwrap the gift of love...

whenever i miss you
i close my eyes
and look at the sky
i see you staring down at me
and my tears will slowly fade into smiles
but rare are the moments like these
for most of the time, i miss you and it rains
tears, not smiles

you love too much, you give too much
so much of yourself you’re giving away
no matter what, with nothing in return
but you my belle, despite of everything
despite of how much you pour yourself
you never run out, you never go empty
oh my sweetest bella
you are my definition of bella ame

-
Amidst the intensive review,
Poetry is to the rescue

the way you speak
the way you kiss
the way you grin
oh i read poetry in your lips

i’ll pull you out
of the blackhole
and if ever it swallows me
love, isn’t it beautiful
that together, we’ll get lost
in infinities?

there’s a little light
peeking through
the small crack
enough to create
a spark, a fire
that will finally
set her free
and make her shine

paper clips, red seals
hand written artsy letters
check your post mail babe

oh darling
we’ll be bones and ashes
before we reach
our overrated
eternity

in this lifetime
there is you and me
and once we were meant to be
but this is not our universe
and our story is a curse
and so the galaxies conspires
to take away what’s not ours — this love
this love has never been ours.

Foolish Heart* by Steve Perry

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore

Things take time, but time takes things.. ~unknown*



When I was a child
I always wanted to grow up fast
But now, feels like I'm in the wild
Lost in the world so vast

Growing old, adding numbers to my life
Afraid to be an adult and it's strife
They say age brings wisdom
But I~ just getting dumb

I am moving
Yet I go nowhere
I do not know if I'm improving
Or if I'm off to somewhere

Turning 22 isn't a big deal
But why does it terrifies me?
The idea of life getting more real
Transition to adulthood I can not see

Maybe I'm not yet ready
of a bigger world and responsibilities
Because my feet aren't always steady
and unsure of my abilities

I was not innocent
and definitely not immature
But I always face an awkward predicament
Because my life, is constantly unsure

Yes, 22 is not young, but not too old enough
to have a clear mind and smart tongue
So I just have to shrug this feeling of rough
And enjoy the feeling of young

Age and time, we could not defy
So as life and its formula
Running out of time, is a big lie
And age is nothing but a numeral

Age and time, definitely
Does not define maturity, nor brings wisdom
And I couldn't tell much, technically
Because, as I've said, I still lack in wisdom

Pause
I paused for a while, but everything around me didn't stop
Pause*
I paused, but the time didn't even bother to stop

hello my old heart
it’s been so long
how have you been
you’re barely beating

hello my old heart
i’ve been so worried
are you still there
inside my ribs?

hello my old heart
you’re almost still

oh i’m sorry, i’m sorry
the walls i built to keep you safe
are now too sky high
that’s why i didn’t hear your pleas

hello my old heart
don’t you worry being locked
in there you’re safe and sound
yes you’ll never beat but you’ll never break

You left me tainted
With pain and tears
So i tried to bleach
To remove every stain
I scrubbed so hard
But i got wounded
So i bleed again
And starts to hurt again
The stains are now scars
And now i will be forever reminded
Of how i tried to remove you
Yet i got marked instead

woman, not all lost battle
means defeat, stand still
because someday,
all the tears you shed
will bloom rainbows and gardens
in your heart, in your soul
and you will flourish
oh nothing but a beautiful blossom

When she was 5 years old,
She was made to believe that
An ice cream can make someone stop crying

When she was 10 years old,
She was made to believe that
Girls should be modest and simple

When she was 15 years old,
She was made to believe that
She's too young to fall in love

When she was 20 years old
She was made to believe that
Real life, she could not handle

Now that she was 25
She had realized that everything
She was made to believe
Were nothing but all lies and opinions

Now that she was wise enough
She realized that an ice cream wouldn't solve a problem
That women can be whatever they want to be
That falling in love was just a normal thing
That the real world is complicated but manageable

Now that she was old enough
She will never believe
Anything or anyone
Unless she had experienced it
Unless she had seen it in her own eyes

She will never believe again
Because everything she was made to believe were all lies..

15 Lifetime
if it takes the universe
a thousand years
for the super moon
my love, i could a wait
a million of lifetimes
just to be with you

Going out today
Summery air on my hair
Beating the hot sun

73 march 14 11:16 pm
“i have forgotten her”
he whispered to me
but my love, you don’t
you have hidden her
within your words
and fragments of your love
oh i see them in your poetry

there is familiarity
in being lost
there is freedom
in isolation
i’m not scared anymore
trust me, there is comfort
in not being found

she’s afraid to scratch
the itch in her heart
afraid of what might come leaking out
afraid that it might be love
afraid that it will bleed her out

9/9 end of belle series
she the belle in disguise
still masked by stories in her mind
the dreams she built and lost
the love she kept, even the ghost
it all haunts her, asleep and awake
but still her soul would not break
her soul will never break
she will never break
.
.







PS
maybe she’s not a belle in disguise
maybe you just have to look into her eyes
to see that her world, that this so called reality
is the culprit, oh, how reality is just a fantasy

Monday air has reached my skin
waking up my sleeping veins
sending colors in this monochromatic scheme
i wait for the magic to sink in
as the sun flashes colors of dream
i can’t help but open my eyes and grin

there is always a feeling
- of incompleteness
- of loss
that always linger in every part of us
that’s why we keep on searching
for something, someone
to fill in the void, the emptiness
within our hearts, within our souls
we keep on searching and searching
for anything, for the unknown
just to satisfy the gaps, the missing pieces
of our life, that we do not know existed
until we felt the ache, the hunger
- for the unknown