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1.1k · Nov 2014
GREEK POEM DEAR SKYLA
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Μισώ τον εαυτό μου
   και είμαι κολλημένος με τον εαυτό μου
   αλλά τουλάχιστον
   Δεν είμαι πλέον
   Κολλημένος ζουν μαζί σας
   Αδελφές για πάντα Σκύλα
   Και το εννοούσα
   αλλά σας
υπήρξαν
αποκήρυξαν
If you are curious, google translate
1.1k · Dec 2014
This time
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
This time, I am not so eager to please you.
I am angry with you.
You might be oblivious, but I am furious with you.
You hurt me.
Don't let it get to your head,
No, you didn't shatter my heart
Or any crap like that
Don't overestimate
Your importance in my life
But it did hurt me
And the main reasons
I kind of want to stab you (yes, I'm violent. get over it)
Is because
You wasted MONTHS of my time
Then you go and text me
Yesterday
Well, first of all
I had my traditional heart attack
When your name lit up my screen
But after the initial terror settled down
I informed all my friends you had texted me
Their responses involved a lot of offers
To ****** you if you didn't leave me alone
In very creative ways
But I decided to find out what you wanted
You "just figured it had been a while since we talked."
Ha.
I saw your exgirlfriend the other day
The one you dropped me for
In a split second
Her face was attached to some other guy's face
And that guy was not you
So it didn't work out
First of all HA.
Secondly, that just means now
You might just be going for your other back up option
Well, I am no Plan B
I do not like being a back up option
I know you are charming
I will admit that, yes.
You are very handsome
I really could never do
any better than you
If we are thinking by society's standards
But I don't want you.
Charm doesn't work on the jaded
Charm doesn't work on the hurt
Charm doesn't work on the broken
And most of all
Charm REALLY doesn't work on the homicidal
I am all four
So don't you dare underestimate my ability
To keep myself
From ever falling for you again
I will be happy however
To talk to you
To try to rekindle
whatever we had
before you left me for her
But I am so used to
playing with fire
at this point
Our spark
Will only catch you
You can't burn ashes
And all that's really left of me
in some ways
is ashes
so good luck with that
It will just burn you
and I will watch you burn
I don't actually believe
in romantic love anymore
thanks for that.
I am not one to *******
If you value your life
Or if you like to keep your limbs
actually attached to your body
I will talk to you
But I will never again
Confuse your flirting
With truth
Because you
Are a pathetic liar
And I will never fall
For your lies again
No
I know I am not pretty
No
I know that I am not “lovely”
As you used to tell me
Far too many times
For it to be true
This time
Is different
Time to prove
That I really can be cold
Time to prove
That I CAN be strong
And not swayed by words
I will never ever
Give you another chance
And I will not let any chance I get
Slip by
To hurt you
The way you hurt me
I will happily waste your time
like you wasted mine
I hope I get the chance
to drown you
in all the pathetic tears
I cried for you
and if my friends
ever get a hold of you
they will probably
Voldemortify you
you will miss your nose
when they detach it from your face
...you should probably hide
because an old flame's wrath
is nothing
compared
to an old flame's best friends' wraths
This time
will be different
I am not desperate
I no longer am amazed by you
I no longer see you
as this unattainable daydream come true
I now see you for what you are
a player
and a liar
who can't make up
his own freaking mind
so this time
the table will be turned
you want to play again?
Alright, player
I look forward
to winning this time
and then
you will be sorry
you ever crossed me
this time.
I will not be ****** in this time, I swear. Anyone else have best friends with creative ideas on how to rearrange the body parts of people who hurt you? lol
1.1k · Dec 2014
Boys
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I have never met a boy
brave enough to say hello to me first
just out of the blue
because he liked me
and now I realize
that would be because
I am not worth noticing
im not the type of girl
boys fall for
or the type that boys
want to say hello to
boys. sigghhh.
1.1k · Dec 2014
My head in its current state
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I don't know
It's fine
No it's not fine
I'm not fine
No I'm okay
This doesn't even make any f!cking sense
I don't know
Why am I feeling like this
I need a distraction
I NEED A F!CKING DISTRACTION
why am I yelling
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm (not) okay
Whatever
Someone stop me from texting him
Before I make an even bigger pathetic ***** of myself
I feel like an emotion-****
That doesn't even make sense
I think I need to find something else to get my mind off him
I think I need to find someone else to get my mind off him
I don't care whatever
Except that I do
Don't let me text him
PLEASE stop me from texting him
My mind is driving me insane
I give up.
No, I can't give up.
I'm going to stop
I won't text him
I think.
I am a waste of space. I am worthless. I hate him. I don't know *** my emotions are doing. no.
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
I sat on a rock and stared
At her eyes the color of ink
Wondering what she’s seen
When she is ruffled by something
It is literal
A duck’s feathers are easily ruffled
But that is a minor problem
When we are ruffled by life
It can disorient us for months
Sometimes years
Sometimes a lifetime
I wonder what her life has been filled with
She swims and she dives.
She mates to reproduce, never to love and cherish her mate eternally.
The way (some) humans do. Or at least should.
She never suffers emotional trauma.
It would be so much simpler to be a duck.
No monetary worries
No emotional worries
No grudges
Only the concern for survival
I bet she’s never cried
And I have so, so many times.
She spreads her wings and takes flight.
The way I often wish I could.
To escape situations I don’t like.
Just flying away.
Her beautiful russet wings
But I wasn’t born a duck.
I was born a human.
And I can’t spread my wings and fly away.
And somehow
I’m glad.
I’m glad I can hurt
And I can feel
And I can love
And be broken
My main concern is not my own survival
Because I am not a duck
And I am not a coward
And even if I can suffer
What a duck would never have to endure
I can have forever from someone else
And I can become something
An artist
A writer
A dancer
A poet
An inspiration
A lover
A mother
A father
Okay no not a father
But I can make something out of myself
And the duck will always be
Well, a duck.
Also, ducks are NOT YELLOW.
…I needed to express that.
Rawr.

Please repost if you are happy to be human. Unless you are not a human. And if you are not a human, then I am kind of scared. Or if you just feel like reposting. Then you go ahead and do that. Have fun with it. :) woahifoundagrape!
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my work!
Please repost if you are happy to be human. Unless you are not a human. And if you are not a human, then I am kind of scared. Or if you just feel like reposting. Then you go ahead and do that. Have fun with it. :) woahifoundagrape!
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my work!
1.1k · Oct 2014
Chained to 13
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
1 Screaming at all hours, sleep is my enemy. My greatest fear is loud sounds and bright lights.
2 Daddy is a tall giant and the smartest man in the whole wide world, mommy is the best mommy ever. Also, touching the fire on birthday candles is not allowed. Or singing at the table. Or watching scary commercials because mommy is tired of me waking her up at 3AM with my nightmares about the big hungry man in the commercial. My greatest fear is being alone in the dark.
3 I’m still too young to know real hurting, I’m unscarred and the greatest tragedy I’ve experienced is a skinned knee and having my favorite stuffed animal taken from me overnight for bad behaviour. My greatest fear is the day I get married and have to live away from my parents.
4 I’m too short to see myself in the bathroom mirror, the counter is in the way. My greatest fear is the monsters under my bed.
5 I have a birthday party and invite every person I know because I’m friends with everyone. My greatest fear is being in trouble with my teacher for talking in class.
6 I’m a big girl now, I can help mommy with dinner…by tasting her ingredients. I don’t understand why those people on the show daddy watches called The News **** each other. Why does anybody hate anyone? Why are grownups crying? Big girls don’t cry. My greatest fear is quicksand, but fortunately I have multiple plans on how to escape quicksand.  
7 Daddy is teaching me how to ride a bike without training wheels and it is scary and I’ve fallen off alot. He told me he wouldn’t let go! I can’t believe he lied to me! I cry and cry but look! Look, I’m doing it mommy! Look! CRASH. I’m starting to read big girl books more easily now. No pictures and only words isn’t as bad as I used to think. One day, I want to be a writer. My greatest fear is falling off my bike.
8 Boys are yucky, and not every girl is my friend anymore. It’s strange, the girls I used to play with have their own friends now. I’m not one of them anymore. A girl told me I was ugly and I felt this odd feeling in my chest like I was falling. Why did it hurt? The only things that are supposed to be able to hurt you are things you can see like knives (which I’m not allowed to use) or falling down, I thought. A girl tells me I am dumb. What a bad word to say, I’m NEVER allowed to say it. It is a mean and a bad word. When I grow up, I’ll never swear. I thought the bad guys were the only mean people in the world? I thought they wore black capes and lived in scary glowing castles like in the movies. The pretty girls in my class who look like princesses are saying things to each other and me that sound like the bad guy’s line in a movie? Why is this happening? I wish on the star every night like princesses do for the girls to stop hurting each other with their words. My greatest fear is that my wish won’t come true.
9 Did you know that fairy tales aren’t real? Did you know that it matters how your hair looks and where you buy your clothes and how many friends you have? Did you know other people care about what you have for lunch? Apparently, those things are true. I don’t like everyone anymore and not everyone likes me. People say some things to me that hurt my feelings and I make someone else cry because I said something just as mean back because I was angry. I didn’t mean to hurt them even though they hurt me. I do things I regret. Am I a bad guy now too? My greatest fear is of becoming a bad guy.
10 I am not a little girl anymore. Girls are turning on girls. Boys are liking girls. Not me of course, but other girls. Suddenly, everyone thinks they are a teenager. Someone calls me fat. Someone says I’m ugly. Someone says I’m dumb. Someone says I’m weird. I like a boy, but he could never like me. Less and less friends, life is growing uglier and far, far colder. Quicksand did not turn out to be as big a problem as I imagined when I was little. Suddenly, I grow up far faster than I should, because if I don’t, I’ll spend way too much time crying. The boys are playing a game at lunchtime, who would you marry if you had to marry someone in the class. One of the boys says he’d: “pick someone stupid like: My name.” Why did my name finish his sentence? “Then I’d shoot her in her sleep after we were married.” He finds out I heard what he said. He tries to talk to me, to apologize but I don’t want to speak to him. I refuse to cry over this. I’m not a baby. But it secretly hurts a lot. I never speak to him ever again. Not a word the whole year, or the next or ever. My greatest fear is being unwanted. And I am.
11 Boys are mean and girls are heartless and cruel. Girls hate me, I hate girls. I hate myself, I hate school, I hate hating everything. I feel worthless, why is everybody else so pretty and perfect? I haven’t been invited to anyone except my best (and only) friend’s birthday party for 3 years. I get invited to a sleepover with girls who don’t like me and I don’t really like them but I don’t know them too well I just know their names and when they think I am asleep I hear them start to talk in-depth about why I am ugly. Scarred. Humilated. Scarred. Broken. Mostly scarred. Why am I so ugly and worthless and fat and stupid? My greatest fear is the monsters inside of my head.
12 New school, new friends, new life. So happy. So, so happy and free. Friends who actually care about me. Friends who heal me. Closer than friends, like sisters. Not alone anymore. My greatest fear is losing all that.
13 Everything is perfect, and beautiful and I am so happy I could cry. I laugh all day and love my life. Until May. Then it fall apart. Jealousy, lies, family problems at home, pasts collide, friends are fake and sisters forever fades into a broken promise. I hate my friend but God, I love her like a sister even though I loathe her so much. It hurts it hurts and I start to feel ugly again. I scar myself, I do terrible thing to my body and myself. I only have a few friends left, but now I know who is loyal, and who never was. My greatest fear is everything that is happening to me as my world crashes, crumbles and burns all around me.

Many years pass, but my mind, soul, and heart are unchanged. Though my age grows larger, I never grow past it all. I’m reliving it all over and over, I still hate myself. Chained to 13.

Please repost if you are trapped in the past too.
Comment! I love to read other people's interpretations and thoughts on my work!
Please repost if you are trapped in the past too.
Comment! I love to read other people's interpretations and thoughts on my work!
1.0k · Nov 2014
SLINKY PEOPLE
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Really mean bullies are like slinkies
Not good for much
but they bring a smile to people's faces
...when pushed down the stairs
Some truly unkind people
who hurt others to build themselves up
are pretty much still alive
Only because
It is illegal to **** them
But you know what?
Maybe that is just because they need a high five
...in the face...
...with a brick.
every body calm now? I made it less violent. Jeez.
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
They're taking the hobbits to isengard!
THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD TO ISENGARD
Okay, so I had a new idea. This is yet another series that everyone is welcome to participate in called: "Get The Reference?" and you title your poem: Get The Reference (Series) and then you write something that is a reference to something else, you know, like a book series, tv series, movie, game, popular youtube video, inside joke, etc. and if you read a "Get The Reference" and you get the reference you repost the poem.

No negative comments please though, if someone posts a reference to something you get the reference to, but don't enjoy, just don't repost. Simple as that. No need to offend. let's all be nice. just thought this would be fun. Oh also, if you are doing a "Get The Reference?" post, include the hashtag #getthereference and comment on this post to let me know you did one so I can check it out.

Sorry if people are getting sick of my ideas, I just thought this would be fun. Add to it as many times as you like.
1.0k · Oct 2014
You know me
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
You know me well
My name, my sense of humor (or rather lack of it)
you know my stories,
you know my smile
you knew my favorite book
my favorite color
and you were my favorite best friend
...until you weren't.
And now, you act as if
you don't know me at all...

Repost if you drifted apart from a best friend and you couldn't understand why
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my work!
Repost if you drifted apart from a best friend and you couldn't understand why
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my work!
1.0k · Oct 2014
Defensiveness
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
Defensiveness the color of fear and the shape of loneliness is the poison that flows within the veins of Rejection and Inadequacy.
1.0k · Nov 2014
PLAY
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Okay.
Sure.
Play victim.
Play with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol before you can even legally drive.
Play with knives and fire.
Play with all those things you swore you never would.
Play with the bad kids.
Play unloved.
Play overdramatic.
Play this game you love so well.

...because no matter how good you are at it sooner or later you are going to lose.

I can't wait, I hope I'm there when you do.
Because you wrecked me.
And I am STILL healing.
The scars on my wrists
are all your fault
the reason I sometimes can't eat more
than a yogurt and half an orange for lunch
is because of YOU
the reason I hate myself
the reason my mother can't trust me around blades anymore
the reason my mother cried for so many nights
because you broke her
you broke me
you SHATTERED my friends
and loved ones
you triggered her
you led to her eating problems
you contributed to the slits on her arms
the scars are STILL THERE
you made us genuinely want to **** ourselves
and HER
the one who was so strong she never drew blood
you even drove her to trying to with a pushpin
a f!cking pushpin
thanks to you!
we used car keys when we got desperate
scissor blades
safety pins
needles
construction paper edges
nailclippers
the ends of wires
circle makers
the backings of earrings
so many more things
sitting alone
you turned everyone against us
everyone
all of our friends
the whole school
our families
EVERYONE
you wrecked EVERYTHING
you killed us.
made us want to **** ourselves
now I just want to **** YOU

so go ahead
PLAY.
I hate her. dunno if you gathered that. she is an eating disorder triggerer, depression triggerer, self-harm causer. F!cking *****.
1.0k · Jan 2015
Way too late, way too empty
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
1:30 AM is when my head starts hurting and my body feels heavy with burdens
My soul feels hollow
And I don't really know who to talk to
Because it's a little late to call anyone
I'm googling weird things
And making my bucket list
Coming up with distractions for weeks to come
Because it is my only escape from my inexplicable pain and sadness
Is it against the law to buy mice and then just release them?
What time does the grocery store open?
How much do fish and flowers cost?
1.0k · Dec 2014
Anyone else relate?
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
Me every single night: I'm gonna go to sleep immediately! Then I be so refreshed in the morning and will get so much done! I'll just check hellopoetry once really quick and then head to bed.

Four hours later: Oh... it's 3AM... and I'm still on hellopoetry... oops. Just one more hour!

In the morning: I hate everything that exists. I am going to die of exhaustion. Rawr. Grrr. No one touch me or I will stab you.
I REALLY NEED TO SLEEP MORE! hahahaha that won't happen.
1.0k · Oct 2014
Impossibilities
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
You need to be brave enough
To hold my hand
Even though haven't been declawed
You need to be strong enough
To lift me
Even though I carry heavy burdens
You need to be kind enough
To hold me
Even though I'm made out of shards of broken glass
You need to be tough enough
To be near me forever
Even though I am burning fire
Because love is impossible
But if you will be
All these impossibilities
I'll be all your impossibilities

Please repost if you want ti be someone's impossible
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my poetry
Please repost if you want ti be someone's impossible
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my poetry
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
No matter what Lovecraft wrote on his ******* post calling people trolls I most certainly do NOT support the bully f!cking Thee Artiste. And also I like saying the word fajitas.that was very random. Im upset. Fajitas
Part of the series. Please no one like Lovecrafts posts where he bullies people calling them trolls and making stuff up like how we supposedly "support thee artiste" because, you know, my constant very open loathing for his behaviour and how he treats others obviously means i support him -_- OH WAIT thats insane. He is a slanderous cruel and pathetic LIAR.
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
You will only ever live once. That means you should take risks. YOLO doesn't mean: "you only live once so let's go do something life threatening and stupid that will probably end our life! Hey look a cliff! Let's see who can hang off of it the longest without falling!" YOLO means: "i am never, ever going to be back in this moment at this second, this day, in this frame of mind, with the knowledge and experiences and emotions I have right now, so I'm going to take an emotional risk right now because it won't **** me, and my chance for a new experience is NOW."

What you could do, is go someplace public where you rarely go so that chances are you won't see the people who are there ever again, where you know people your age will be (example: starbucks or something) and find a girl who is sitting alone and who just looks like an interesting person. Not just pretty, but truly interesting. Sit down next to her or across from her and just literally say: Hi. wait until she looks up and makes eye contact with you. Be confident and friendly. You have done nothing wrong, there is nothing embarrassing or weird about basic human interaction. Just say something like: "You got a name?" when she answers, introduce yourself and shake her hand. (It is very charming when a guy actually shakes your hand, because it's unusual.) Start a small talk conversation. Be like: So what school do you go to? or if she happens to be doing something like sketching or writing or reading or listening to music, ask her what she's drawing/writing/reading/listening to. Showing an interest in what she's doing makes a big difference. Insist she let's you see it/listen to it. Ask her about it. Go further into the topic of whatever she's doing. Make sure you compliment her on whatever she's doing if it's something like drawing or whatever. Use her name when you speak to her because it adds a degree of personalness to the conversation. If she asks why you're talking to her, don't let it get awkward. Be very confident and comfortable with the fact that you came over to talk to her. Just tell her she looked like a really interesting person. If you want to mention that she's pretty too, that doesn't hurt, but make sure you mainly focus on something other than looks that drew you to her, because most girls want to be worth more (and be noticed for more) than just a pretty face. When you finish the conversation, just come right out and ask: So, you wanna give me your number?

If she has a boyfriend or something or if she just says no, then you just shrug it off, and tell her it was really cool meeting her, and leave on a pleasant note. Just walk away. the bright side being: you never have to see her again, so it doesn't matter.

(another idea could be if you were in line at a starbucks or something and you see an interesting looking girl in front of you, wait until she orders and (as long as she hasn't ordered the entire menu, after all, if it IS starbucks, then if she buys one drink and you pay for it, you're about seven thousand dollars in debt already. seriously, the prices there... yeesh) step up and say: "I'll cover it." To the cashier. Insist on paying then ask if she would mind if you joined her at her table for a couple minutes. It might sound cliché, but it almost never actually happen now, and it really is thoughtful. It's a very charming thing for a guy to do.)

anyway, those are just some ideas if you're looking for a girl to date. Start with her number, text her for like, a week and a half being flirty, then call her (call, don't text, it's so much more personal. but text her first to ask if you can call her for a moment.) and ask her out over the phone. :)
if any guy has advice on how to get a boyfriend, I'd love to hear it, because I am really need a distraction, and I kind of want that distraction to be around my age, male, preferably a Homosapien, and have a cellphone and no girlfriend.
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
So you think I am ugly, stupid, worthless, weird, fat, unpopular, annoying, and overdramatic?

Thanks for the input. Maybe you're right but all I know is, it doesn't bother me :)

You are still beautiful inside and out. <3
But to the people who hate my amazing friends who I love:
*****, I have a chainsaw and duct tape. I will give you a five second head start. You should probably run. :)
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
Am I the only teenage girl in the world who thinks about having an amazing relationship with her future mother-in-law as much as with her future husband?
Who ever it is, I just really want his mother to like me. What she thinks of me literally matters to me as much as what he thinks of me. Maybe I'm weird idk. Anyone else?

It's a series. Feel free to add to it. Title is self-explanatory. Literally, any spontaneous thought no matter how weird (like mine), funny, sad, deep, happy, thoughtful, or random.

Just include the hashtag #spontaneousthoughts and use the same title as mine: Spontaneous Thoughts (Series)

also feel free to message me to let me know you added to my series so I can read it.
995 · Nov 2014
MY ESCAPE
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
I guess I don't exactly know what I want to be
I don't know what I think the definition of physical beauty is
Because there are people I see with very flouncy curly and glistening golden blonde hair
Then I see Asian girls with their glossy raven black locks
I see girls with STUNNING blue eyes
And girls with magnificent hazel eyes
I see two of my friends who have brown eyes like me, only they have these BEAUTIFUL maple eyes
I see girls with heart-shaped jawline
I see girls with rounder jawlines
I see girls with tiny waists
And curvy girls
I see girls with cute little smiles
And bright, wide grinning smiles
ALL OF THEM ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
I don't even know WHAT I want to be
I just know that I wish there were a celebrity
Who existed
Who was WILDY adored and loved by everyone
Who was successful and never criticized
Who was not necessarily UGLY
But was undeniably not particularly traditionally physically pretty
But her soul was LOVELY
Her personality was imperfect
And she ******* up
But she was still a GOOD PERSON
and her values and what was inside her was what made her so globally popular
Because maybe if I stopped seeing everybody as so unbelievably BEAUTIFUL
then I would stop CARING that I was so hideous
I just really wish
"Pretty" didn't have a definition
But varied
You could look at someone
And what each person found pretty
Was COMPLETELY different
because I care way too much
because I hate hearing that I am "pretty" when I so clearly am not
but it's even worse when I hear that I'm not
Or if someone edges around it by saying: But you are a beautiful person INSIDE
avoiding admitting that I'm ugly
I hate hearing about how ugly I am
because it reminds me
but I also hate hearing about how supposedly "pretty" I am
because immediately in my head
that little voice that sounds exactly like my own
except very cruel and sadistic
The mean-streak part of me
It whispers in my mind
THEY ARE LYING TO YOU
YOU ARE UGLY AND HIDEOUS
AND NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO CARE ABOUT WORTHLESS YOU.
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WHAT SOCIETY DEFINES AS PRETTY
YOU ARE WORTHLESS AND UGLY.
DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR PROMISES THAT YOU ARE PRETTY
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT.
that is all I hear in my head.
or if I hear OH BUT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT
the voice whispers: did you recognize that? Hear it? See it?
They specifically avoided saying you were physically pretty
So whether they are right or not about what is more important, inner or outer beauty
They have still admitted to you
In an underhanded way
That you ARE ugly
they have confirmed what I have always told you
YOU ARE NOT PRETTY
YOU NEVER WILL BE
and do you know what?
I don't care anymore about what is important
I want to be physically beautiful
It's like when you just really want cake
it might be unhealthy
It might not matter
It isn't good to obsess over
but you JUST WANT IT
you want it so badly
and you can't function properly without it
until you have that desire given in to
but I can't tell them that anymore
so they don't have to lie to me to spare my feelings which makes me feel awful
or so they don't have to be honest and either tell me I'm ugly or edge around it by bringing up inner beauty and using a BUT before it
because that makes me feel even WORSE
I will not talk about it anymore
I will just let it dominate my poetry
because I must write
I must WRITE to keep it from consuming me
that is all I have
If I can't speak of the pain anymore
I must write.
that is my escape.
feel free not to read this. it is pretty **** long and mostly it is just me needing to get something out. it's really just my form of release, not for it to be actually GOOD poetry. because it is really not. but if you can relate then hey, great :)
yeah... I don't know what is wrong with me.
984 · Nov 2014
Run out of words
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
I have run out of words to express myself.

I think I'm losing myself

In my obsession with beauty

Because I can't. ever. be. beautiful.

And there isn't a word

To explain

THIS kind of self-loathing.
If anyone feels like talking I could really use a message from someone right now who can deal with me right now because I'm getting to be at one type of my worst and I'm just really...upset. Teardrops are not exactly good at keeping me company.
984 · Nov 2014
TWISTER MIND
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
MY HEAD IS A TWISTER IT
SWEEPS UP EVERYTHING
I CARE ABOUT AND DEST
      ROYS IT DISPLACING
        EVERYTHING AND
          MAKING A MESS
             WHY ARE MY
                THOUGHTS
                SO DESTRUC
                  TIVE WHY
                    MUST IT
                    ALWAYS
                    HURT TO
                     EXIST I
                      HATE
                       THE
                       TOR
                        NA
                        DO
                         TH
                          AT
                           IS
                           M
                            Y
                            M
                             I
   ­                         N
                            D
961 · Dec 2014
My addiction (challenge)
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I am addicted to tea. Seriously. It is concerning.
I am addicted to watching that old show Mad About You  
I am addicted to watching that old show Blossom
I am addicted to fluffy blankets
I am addicted to music
I am addicted to books
I am addicted to writing
I am addicted to Hello Poetry it Is actually negatively affecting my ability to function I am not kidding lol
I am addicted to the color black
I am addicted to makeup
I am addicted to tea (I needed to say it twice so everyone realizes how serious it is)
I am addicted to being weird
I am addicted to laughing with my friends
I am addicted to poetry
I am addicted to bubble wrap
Everyone seems to be doing this challenge so I figured I had a free second and a lot of addictions lol anyone else share any of these addictions?
951 · Jan 2015
Why are you sad.
950 · Jan 2015
You know who's awesome?
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
The Emerald Outcast
Beautiful work, beautiful soul and KIND, kind, kind heart. What a lovely poet and person. Emerald Outcast is inspiring and everyone should check her out. <3
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I guess deep down
In the parts of me
I try to ignore
As best I can
I will admit
There are nights
Where I begin
To ache
Missing
Whatever the hell it was
That we had
That "flirtationship"
I don't know what it was
But I know
It sure hurt like hell
When you told me
That you loved her
And I discovered
That all those months
I'd spent on you
Were a waste
Because you loved her
The whole time
Well tonight
Is one of those nights
Where I really
kind of
I guess
sort of
miss you
...more than I care to confess
I really wish I didn't miss him, but truth be told, I really did like him. :( sighhh
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
If the power goes out in an elementary school, hell has official frozen over.
Bad memories, suicide attempts, depression, bullying, *******, betrayal and *******. That's what comes to mind when someone says "Elementary School". Anyone else hate elementary school?
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
My face is grave and unchanging
Like that of a marble statue
You attack me with your words
You scrutinize my flaws
Your voice devours my identity and shreds it
Your distain at what I am claws at my insecurities
You call me pathetic, you try to get a rise out of me
But I staring straight forward
Eyes open, yet unseeing
Ears hearing, but not listening
You scream my name
Over
And over
And over
I appear to be shrouded in darkness
Unreachable
Distant
Frozen in time
At last the echoes of my name snag my attention
I turn to you and speak
Did you say something?

Repost if your attention span (like mine) is too short for anyone's words to hurt you because you weren't listening ;P
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art! 
Repost if your attention span (like mine) is too short for anyone's words to hurt you because you weren't listening ;P
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art! 
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
Since I was born
I’ve been a pain
Screaming at all hours
Driving you insane
Drew on your walls
And my mother nearly died
You not only kept your temper
But you even took my side
When the pressure makes it
Hard to breathe
I know you said
You’d be thinkin’ of me
You didn’t give up on me
After a million mistakes
No matter what the cost
You do whatever it takes
I think you’re beautiful
Perfection’s all I see
You have always been
A second mother to me

Please repost as a tribute to them if you are grateful to someone for being basically like a second mother to you and add their First name to the comments section, try to keep it going and see how many names can end up listed.)

I'll start it off:

Jennifer
Please repost as a tribute to them if you are grateful to someone for being basically like a second mother to you and add their First name to the comments section, try to keep it going and see how many names can end up listed.)

I'll start it off:

Jennifer
916 · Nov 2014
Buts and ifs
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Don't waste my time
I have so little of it
But
If you're going to waste my time
Make it worth the pain
Make it a wildride
Don't tell me lies
I don't have room in my head for those
But
If you're going to tell me lies
Make it worth the betrayal
Make it a pretty lie
Don't talk **** about me
I've taken enough of that in my life
But
If you're going to talk **** about me
Make it worth the exasperation
Make it creative
DON'T waste my love though.
No buts or ifs
I only have so much of it left...
Kinda sad right now :/ I don't know just reflecting on how much **** I've dealt with, been through and caused. Also how much love I have wasted. So so much love and time I can't get back.
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
If you tell me about how I need to forgive ONE more ****** time
Or about how he secretly loves me and will come back to me
Or just in general if you comment on even ONE more of my poems with freaking MORONIC advice I don't need...
I swear everyone within a five mile radius of me will die.
You do not understand half my poetry
You tell me the guy I'm writing about in my poetry loves me but didn't know how to express it to me
Honey, that poem was about a lost friend who happens to be a girl. Not a guy.
Lots of my poetry is old
I post it, retyping the words on worn pages
I tore out of old notebooks
Just little snapshots of old emotions I used to have
Fleeting feelings I once had
And captured in ink
I don't even feel that same way anymore
But you seem to be under the impression
That every poem I write is current
So don't you dare
Give me advice about situations you don't understand
I don't even WANT the guy to like me anymore!
I don't even LIKE him anymore!
I don't WANT him to prove it anymore that he likes me, you don't know what the hell you're TALKING about!
And it is not a question
It is a FACT
I don't want him
He doesn't want me
And I cannot stress this enough
I. Don't. Want. Him!
Stop giving your opinion
On things you don't even know the first thing about
Because frankly
It's just making you look
REALLY idiotic

I'm sorry this is more a rant than a poem but I had to get it out.
I'm sorry this is more a rant than a poem but I had to get it out.
911 · Jan 2015
i cant even
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
I AM A F!CKING FAILURE OF A FRIEND
I AM SO SORRY THEARA
..........
910 · Dec 2014
Sleeves
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
You know... you've been wearing long sleeves a lot.
I know it's cold out... but...
I just really, really care about you and I am WAY over analyzing, but I'm just a little bit worried 'cause you wear multiple layers of long sleeves... you can tell me anything, you know. I'd rather know than wonder and worry. I just really hope you're okay.
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
Somedays I wish





you and I




would get caught alone

in a life and death situation where nothing matters anymore and any responsibilities or complications that used to exist have faded because we are going to die anyway so I could find out what is really on your mind, so I could tell you everything, because why not at that point? So I could tell you everything I've done, how I really feel and why I did so many things, everything that has happened to me, and hope that maybe, in our last moments of life, you would understand.
Because in a situation where there is nothing left but emotions and loose threads and rough edges and unhappy endings, the truth just might come out.
897 · Dec 2014
My poetry.
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
My poetry gets really dark when I'm hurting.
My poetry gets bubbly when my love-life starts to pick up.
My poetry gets short when I am broken.
My poetry gets weird when I am tired. Like, REALLY weird...
My poetry gets violent when I am angry. As in FREAKING violent.
My poetry gets dumb when I am bored.
but all of the words I write are made of genuine feelings
idk. stuff.
880 · Dec 2014
Ena
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
Ena
My hands are too small
I can't catch all of your pain
I wish I could save you from yourself
But I am not strong enough
To beat the darker parts of you
And the lighter parts of you
Are no match for your inner demons
But God I wish I could take your pain
And bear your burdens for you
I promise you though
You are a candle
Candles flicker
But they always flicker back to shining
There's no sense in blowing out a candle
Just because it is flickering
It will be okay.
You don't need to be strong,  just be brave.
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Me when I'm ******:

Stage 1: Politely nodding and smiling. Thinking: Omfg shut up.

Stage 2: Staring at them blankly. Thinking: I'm gonna **** myself.

Stage 3: Clenched jaw and glaring. Thinking: I'm gonna **** YOU

Stage 4: Completely lost it, revving chainsaws (no accident that I pluralized chainsaws) and burning **** down, the town is in ruins and I am evilly cackling insanely and raiding chocolate stores. *Thinking: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
no. I do not have anger management issues. now ******* before I stomp you into the ground and chase you with a sledgehammer

lol if anyone wants to do one like this about their stages of pissedness I'd love to read it ;)
880 · Jan 2015
Tea is not enough
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
I wrote on my wrist: Who needs a boyfriend? I have tea!
Tea doesn't mind if I wear my "ugly outfit" and don't put on makeup
Tea doesn't mind if I only watch movies I like for hours and hours on end
Unfortunately, tea also doesn't hold my hand and let me rest my head on its shoulder or send me cute texts that make me smile when I'm in a depressed mood, stabbing and cutting the hell out of the edge of my counter with a butcher's knife because it's healthier than doing that to my wrist.
Tea will be with me in times of Brokenness, but it can't take away the pain like a person could
And I hate feeling like the pathetic cliché "all I want is a boyfriend" type of girl, I thought I was better than that because I was never like that when I was younger but I'm not strong enough to fight it myself and I just really need someone else to hold me
But I have so many burdens I'm scared I'm too heavy to hold
I'd wear my prettiest outfit and makeup, and watch every movie he likes even if I hate it and never say a word about it if I actually had someone to do that for, but for now all I have is Tea
and as much as I love it
And as much as I drink it non-stop
Tea is not enough.
I feel so pathetic.
and also ugly.
omfg *** is wrong with me
878 · Nov 2014
Love
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
You name: Austin.
To you the definition of Austin is your title. What people call you. It has come to signify the person you are to yourself.
To Her, however (and I capitalize “Her” because important things should always be capitalized and someone who loves you as deeply as she does certainly deserves capitalization at the very least)
To Her “Austin” has a different definition.
To Her Austin means: A good person who respects Her.
Do you understand the rareness of that trait?
In today’s world a good person who even knows the word respect is unheard of.
And yet here you are.
And it is so magnificent
Just know this:
That makes YOU magnificent
Because She can honestly say
You respect her
In this world where values are built on the idea of: “Take what you can, the wholesome decent people will walk away empty handed”
For you to boldly brush aside all of that
And bravely live by honor and respect
It is admirable and it makes you a wonderful person
It is a feat far greater than any man who spends a thousand hours with his loved one
And does not respect Her
To Her Austin means: A smile brighter than the glistening starlight. The  type who can make anybody laugh no matter what the circumstances
A smile that she loves to see, that just makes her happy to lay eyes on.
That is so phenomenal that you possess such an ability to practically display sunshine with a simple grin. For your smile to make Her happy. To be something She loves about you.
You are so, so deserving of her love because you have been gifted with a very unique talent
It is extraordinarily uncommon
To be able to heal people
Through the beautiful thing we call laughter
You can make anybody laugh
And humor is not just a hobby or something to keep television interesting
It is an exquisite
Lovely thing
Somedays, people are in times or frames of mind
Where logic and reason can’t fight the emotions they are having
And surely, many times
It has been incredible, incredible YOU
That saved them from their own thoughts
Without you even knowing what a difference you have made
With your splendid gift
Of humor.
Humor is a spiritual healer and that is what you are
A spiritual healer
No wonder She loves you so much
To Her, Austin means: Someone who loves Her and who She loves endlessly
Look at the beautiful, beautiful soul of the woman who loves you
Look at Her and smile that smile She loves so much
Because She looks at you
And sees a brilliance you could never begin to understand
Yet somehow She sees it in you
And you are so, so worthy of Her love
Because love is one of those things
Not measured in time
Or minutes spent physically near each other
In fact
Love has nothing to do with physicality at all
Your bodies may not be near each other’s everyday
Maybe you don’t hold her hands in yours every second
But your heart and Hers are intertwined
You love one another
Love cannot be severed by the sharpest blade
Or poisoned by the most lethal of all venoms
Love defies all physicality
Nothing tangible can destroy it
So never ever compare your worthiness of Her love to the amount of moments you spend
Physically close to each other
It is your souls being close to each other
That makes your bond of love so unbreakable
So beautifully unbreakable
Even if your days are flooded
With work and hours buzzing with business
You FIND time you MAKE time to text Her
And that is such a marvelous sacrifice
Such a charming thing to do
So worthy of love
The fact that you CARE
Because in those moments that you DO talk
Over text messages, face to face or over the phone
A little eternity passes
And you may not be able to give Her all of your time
But to give Her your tiny eternities in between work and life’s prior commitments
Makes you so worthy of Her love
You need to see how deeply and endlessly She loves you
How your name carries thousands of definitions for Her
In Six little letters: Austin
Has come to mean so, so much to Her
Because you don’t need to give Her all of your time
You just need to give Her all of your soul and heart
And you do
So please smile your wonderful smile
Let your wonderful soul shine
Know that you are so precious and special to this one woman
Who has eyes only for you
Because you are WORTH it
And know that you are every color and shape of wonderful
To Her
:)
877 · Jan 2015
Get The Reference? (Series)
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.”
“Yeah,” said , “but you, unlike me, are a ***.”

"You're dead
"
"Funny, you'd think I'd have stopped walking around"

So light a fire!
Yes... of course... but there's no wood!
HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!

"How much for me?"
"5 galleons."
"I'm your brother"
"10 gallons!"
Repost if you get it. Part of the series


Another series that everyone is welcome to participate in called: "Get The Reference?" and you title your poem: Get The Reference (Series) and then you write something that is a reference to something else, you know, like a book series, tv series, movie, game, popular youtube video, inside joke, etc. and if you read a "Get The Reference" and you get the reference you repost the poem.

No negative comments please though, if someone posts a reference to something you get the reference to, but don't enjoy, just don't repost. Simple as that. No need to offend. let's all be nice. just thought this would be fun. Oh also, if you are doing a "Get The Reference?" post, include the hashtag #getthereference and comment on this post to let me know you did one so I can check it out.

Sorry if people are getting sick of my ideas, I just thought this would be fun. Add to it as many times as you like.


This particular post will be edited and added to because I could literally marry this series. Who needs men when you have books?
869 · Oct 2014
A different kind of pain
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
Telling someone who is honest enough with you to admit they suffer the pain of feeling eternally unbeautiful that they are being annoying and making you uncomfortable and falsely self-deprecating, vain and attention seeking is like telling someone who is continually being stabbed that their screaming is annoying and making you uncomfortable and they are faking their agony and being overdramatic and attention seeking. Certain pains you just can't see. It doesn't mean they don't hurt and burn and shatter you. There are different kinds of pain. And this one is anguish like no other.
Please please comment!!
863 · Feb 2015
I keep wondering
Ember Evanescent Feb 2015
If I walked by you on the street, and we locked eyes for a spit second, would you  even say hey? Would you call my name? Or would we awkwardly look at the ground and walk on opposite sides of the road, pretending not to notice each other?
ah, well, I'm worth nothing to you. I suspect you would ignore me. Or you'd be drunk and high and wouldn't even notice me
859 · Nov 2014
10 BEAUTIFUL POETS 2
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
10 BEAUTIFUL POETS LIST/CHALLENGE


Hi there. I think you are beautiful people and poets if your name is on this list.

Here is the list.
There are more and I have done another one like this but if I just paste every poet I like on this site's name then it doesn't meant anything there are too many so I'm going to post later ones with the names of the poets I really like but I'm going to limit it to ten per post.

I strongly suggest you check out their poetry because it is amazing.

The order of the names has nothing to do with the quality or my favor they are all equally loved by me in different ways for their work which is all a different shade of beautiful.

I invite everyone to post a poem with 10 beautiful poets' names on this site that people should check out.

Yet another one of my challenges. If you do the "10 Beautiful Poets Challenge" add "10beautifulpoets" as a hashtag so people can find it.

Also feel free to message me if you post one of these so I can check them out too :)

Just a great way to let people know about specific beautiful poets out there.

Include something about their poetry specific to that poet beside their name. :)

Here is my list for the day:

Pamela Rae moving and powerful seriously incredible work also super amazing person

Frank Ruland Amazing person amazing poetry amazing work

Just Melz Strikingly stunning poetry deep and brilliant pieces brave person so strong

Jennifer Weiss Wonderful poet and person lovely work very heart-touching

Bipolar Hypocrite phenomenal poet and strong person work is extraordinary in a magnificently unprecedented way

The Girl Who Loved You Lovely souled person, lovely poet, work is gripping and positively outstandingly fantastic in every possible way imaginable

Elsa Angelica Achingly tragically and beautifully relatable poetry internally and externally beautiful poet, her poetry is beyond exceptional it speaks for itself a MUST read type of poet

Frankie Crognale Addictive poetry exquisite person with a flawless soul strong and insightful poet with an eye and heart for seeing deeper into life

Nurul Unbelievable poetry marvelous person and work is so perspective altering and dizzyingly astonishing

Starry Night Breathtaking poetry. Literally. You need to read it, it will tug at your soul. Awesome person and I can see Starry Night's spectacular poetic heart expressed through the words of her work.


So yeah!
Check them out! :D
Repost if you get the chance so more people see it and check out these beautiful poets!!

#10beautifulpoetschallenge
here is todays list!
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
Six years old
My pretty box
of pretty things
a little girl's collection
a pebble, a purple sequin, a lock, and a sticker, pencil leads, and a rose petal I found on the ground in the rain but I ran back to save it.
Precious things
Collections of the young will always remain a mystery to the jaded adults who grew out of simple happiness far too long ago
Then one day
My box slips off the counter
and I search desperately in the carpet for my pretty things
tearstained face and choking on sobs
not my pretty things
not my pretty things
I find my pebble
I find my purple sequin,
my lovely silver lock,
my special sticker,
all three pencil leads,
...but my rose petal
is gone
except for a couple crumbling dried pieces of it
on the ivory carpet
and the rest of it could be anywhere
I can't find it
it's gone
it's gone
my pretty, pretty rose petal that I loved so much
that I saved from the rain
...but sometimes even if you save something... or someone...
from the rain and love it for a long time, when things fall, you can lose them forever, knowing they are crumbling and not whole anymore
but you can't help them
What you save and love,
you can still lose.

Repost if you had a box of pretty things when you were little.
Comment and tell me what they were, I love to read comments :)
.
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
The match that starts the fire

By all means
Start a revolution
Be remembered
Leave your mark
Burn to the ground what you know is wrong
Stand up for your beliefs
…but keep in mind…
…the match that starts the fire…
…is never the same afterwards.

Please repost if you have stood up for your beliefs before and it has been worth the trouble you experienced when you did it.
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art! 
Please repost if you have stood up for your beliefs before and it has been worth the trouble you experienced when you did it.
Please comment! I love to read interpretations of my poetry or your thoughts on my work or on poetry itself as an art! 
855 · Jan 2015
My fault
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
I should have been better
I should have saved you
I don't know what kind of friend I am
I'm sorry
This is the second time I've failed you
And the fourth time I've failed as a friend
my friends keep hurting themselves and it is all my fault and I just want them to be okay because I love them like sisters and it's so horrible and no one deserves the pain they have less than them
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I'd like to see you try
Really I would
I challenge anyone to attempt
To make me let down my guard
But they should expect to fail
I am tough when it comes to
Keeping people out
But I welcome anyone
If they want to try
No boy will ever break down my walls, I'm sure. But I like to watch them try. ...of course no one actually cares enough to try, but there have been a FEW I guess. Anyway, I have strong enough walls, no one will ever break through them
Ember Evanescent Jan 2015
Well, I did want to feel something, I guess.
That is what I asked for.
Now I'm shaking so bad I can't even play the piano.
Just when I was happy too.
I just can't. It's so hard to type.
851 · Dec 2014
I refuse to be your Plan B
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I want a boyfriend
I will admit that
I know,
That kind of makes me
A little bit pathetic
But I will not deny it
But I don't want you
I don't want YOU
The boy who treats me
Like his Plan B
It didn't work out
With her
So you turn to me
Your little ego boost
You might be gorgeous
You might be popular
You might be insanely charming
You might be clever
And a poet
And maybe you have
Incredible maple eyes
But you are
Unkind
And I have always been
Not just unpopular
But antipopular
So don't try and impress me
With that
Well, I am not longer
Going to just be
The back up, second best girl
In your life
I don't need
To waste my time
On a boy
Who I know
Doesn't mean a thing
That he says.
Anyone else get a surprise text from an old flame?
849 · Nov 2014
WOW. I TOTALLY CARE. HA!
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
You don't like me?
Wow I'm so devastated
I'm going to go die now in eternal misery and disappointment
OH wait
oh yeah! that's right!
I literally do NOT care at all!!
Isn't it funny when people think you actually give a f!ck that they don't like you? Makes me laugh
Ember Evanescent Oct 2014
Not angry.
Not sad.
Not broken
Not depressed.
Not upset.
Not even jealous.
I thought I was at first, but I don’t think I am
Because I really meant what I said
Reading that text made me smile
Happy for you
I hope it works out
I’m just a little disappointed.
That’s all.
:(
Repost if you are a little crestfallen.
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my poetry, and anything else! Stories, suggestions, etc. anything really.
Repost if you are a little crestfallen.
Please comment I love to read interpretations of my poetry, and anything else! Stories, suggestions, etc. anything really.
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