I have a heart
All I have is this heart
This heart of stone
This heart of ice
This heart that is so young yet unmovable.
You have these eyes
These eyes that take all I have
these eyes that crumble my stone
these eyes that warm the ice
You're taking all I have.

We all sit
we all wait
wait to move on with life
Wait for things to get better
Some of us have a moment
A moment that moves us
A moment that changes us
We have a moment we become tired of feeling the pain
Tired of hurting
Tired of waiting
So we fight
and we fight
and fight
and fight
and fight
We burn in our fire
we die in our fire
but the fire never dies
and from it we come forth
screaming
crying
laughing
smiling
knowing
that everything is going to be ok
That you hung up your reasons for why you can't be who you want
you forgot what it was like to worry about not being happy
you embrace the world
and she embraces you
and in this moment.
You are eternal.

I know this ring on my finger
Is the heaviest thing your heart ever had to carry,
and you crumble every single time
I tell you I'm married.

You say I'm too young
and I should take time to choose,
but deep down you know you would do the same
If you were in his shoes.

I know things seem bleak
and that I'm really really dumb,
But with out him
even the bruises feel numb.

You are here.
But my gaze is a million miles away.

The room is silent.
But you look at me so loudly

I can practically hear you screaming
For me to stay .

The water is rising .
threatening to cross the brim to my cheek

But I keep the  flood at bay.
Watching ships sail .

The farther they get the slower my heart.
I can't live this way.

We scream our names in the wind
Only to have it thrown back in our faces.
We paint our faces and scar our souls
To keep our shaky graves
And never let our death be forever.

For the love of god
Let this summer be eternal
Because I don't know if I can survive
This winter with out you.

I survived on who I thought you were
Feed on the idea of you.
thought I was in love with my own imagination.

and with every little thing you say
and every little thing you do
I seem to have the odd sensation
of falling in love all over again.
but this time, with someone new.

There is a hole in my ocean
and all the water is leaking through,
washing away the truth
washing away  all I ever knew.

You came along in the storm
You made the sea calm
It worried me because
I thought it wouldn't last long.

you made a hole in my ocean,
letting the water drip through
giving me dry land
showing me things I never knew.

I really dont have a reason to be mad
at least she called this year

I had 16 great birthdays with out her
I did just fine with out her
I learned how to braid my hair with out her
I learned how to dress myself
I learned how to drive with out her
I learned how to work with out her
I learned how to cry with out her.
I learned how to run with out her
Hell, I even graduated with out her

I grew up with out her

I dont need her

I did everything with out her

I'm going to go to college with out her
I'm going to marry a nice man with out her
I'm going to have kids with out her
because there isn't a **** thing she can teach me about loving my kids.

it still hurts.
why dont you want me?
is it because I dont need you?

If there was a heaven
It was meant for dogs.

heaven would have
no war or segregation
just love and bacon

non would be turned away
because a dog doesn't know if your gay
he wouldn't even care anyway

heaven would be a place where
you get your own comfy chair
complete with dog hair
and playful barks is a prayer


Heaven would be ****-rugs
and green lawns
garbage cans
and sprinklers
summer
and love.

if there is a heaven
its where my dog belongs
because that's where hes from along

Stoney belloni
Gettin high with my homies  

sittin back watchin sweet life of Hash and cody
Eatin this burrito my friend calls jodie
But wait
******* is that macronni?!

I take a hit
and ****!
I start to choke on that ****

I guess we burned it all
that ***** dawg

weeeeeeeeeeed

I once glowed.
my belly round
my smile wide

I was thrilled
with what could become
from the life I was given.

I once cried
my eyes red
my spirit broken

I was tortured
with what could become
from the life I was given.

I don't know what i'm doing anymore.
The pen sits in my hand .
The paper on my desk.
but the words come all jumbled up
tangled together
in anger and frustration.

This used to be so easy as a child.
I could throw a stone.
and strike a muse.
but now the stones are boulders
and the muse is a pay stub.  

Has life really won me over?
am I really all used up
My mind dry
parched from the absents of words.

I made this short.
So you would read it.
Is this what we have come to?

Linger.
                   Let it go.
                                Linger.
                                    Let it show.
   I have a heart.
                I have a voice.
    That can movie mountains,
     That can end nations.
                             So hear my cry,
           Hear my sorrow,
                        I'm fighting for tomorrow
   Don't stop me now
     Don't leave me now
            Don't you see I need you now.
       Fight,
     Let it go.
Fight
    Let it show.  
             Know, I'll be there tomorrow.

The loneliest girl in the world
hears a knock at her door.

If the sunset had a voice , it would sound like yours.
If the smokey mountains had eyes, they gave their never ending blue and green to you.
If thunder had breath, its chest would rise and fall late at night as yours does while wrapped in a mess of sheets.
I can't help but to be reminded of your beard as I run through fields of tall golden grass , it brushing on my bare thighs.
If warm summer breeze had a laugh , it learned its warm emersion  from you.
I never knew the ocean would gift its crashing waves to someone's hips
Once great oaks had a heart, surely you have stolen them,
Along with my own.

You can keep your perfect
You can keep your expectations
You can keep your beautiful.

I wake up every morning loving all I am
I live my life every day doing the best I can
When the day is done, I know I'm my kind of beautiful.

Don't come to me looking for perfect,
I left that behind a long time ago.
Don't expect me to meet your expectations,
I passed those a long time ago
Don't come to me and tell me I'm not beautiful.

Because I am
I am my own kind of beautiful.

Let the wind carry my love
Like the wings of things that
Never touch this bleak earth.

Mighty seas make the miles seem longer
And the the brooding clouds make me feel caged .

I do not petty the broken hearted
For the closure is there
And the hole where their heart is
Slowly healing.

While I am left to wait upon my perch
Never knowing when to depart
From my outcast state.

You are a broken record
Player
Turning your head in circles to get a look
Of that hot peice of
***

She's more than a stupid
Mistake
She's the action you take
Over and over

You are a broken record
Player
I'm worth more than your lie
Worth more than a good lay
I know the words to this song
Keep singing
But I'm long gone.

Romance is dead.
He died on a cold winter night
With a bottle of whisky in one hand
And 5 missed calls on the night stand.
He died along with laughter
From red flaked lipstick, fish-net thigh highs
And broken wax on the bed sheets.
Romance Is Dead.
He died along with good mornings and i'm sorry.
He died along with warm kisses and long hugs.
Died along with wishes and rings,
Died with forever and took I Love You with him.
Romance Is Dead

My room needs cleaning
but the internet calls me
wow i'm really lazy.

what are you doing?
what are you eating?
can I have some?
are you mad at me?
why don't you like my gift?

Where are you going?
can I come too?
are you coming back?
why do you never take me?

Are you my brother?
what am I?
am I one of you?
why am I so different?
Is that why you ignore me?

You know nothing of life
Till you feel the deepened, endless, depths of death.

You feel dull
Till you are laying on the kitchen floor
***** plastered to your hair
speckled with pills
you heart racing
and the only thing you are thinking
"I'll never feel snow again."
He comes to you in jagged breaths,
in blinding pain,
and he whispers in your ear
"Your mother cries at night, dear boy why live this way?
Go out, make her proud, I took too much for her, and you have given too little."
and then you know.
you've always wanted to be a teacher

You fell empty
Till you lay in your gown
the beeping of the screen seems endless
as do the days, trapped in your hospitable bed.  
everything slows
and you know
hes coming.
Your too tired to open your eyes,
but you feel his soft caress,
his hand holds yours  
and says "Does the softball games missed? the dinners skipped and the paperwork finished matter at this very moment?"
and then you know.
Why your daughter never speaks to you.

Earth, nothing more than a stage.
Life nothing more than an act.
The happenings among us simply a scene

We have tragedies
We have comedy  
We have horror
and we have romance

Some of us are the lead, some behind the scenes
But no matter  your part

From the moment the curtain rises,
You preform.
You shine.
and your goal nothing more than when the currant falls..

....They applaud

Once nothing wondered if it mattered.
Nothing wondered what It was like to be somthing.
because the only thing to stop nothing,
was nothing
its wish was granted.

So nothing became something.

Somthing was so eager to learn
so eager to see
taste
smell
feel
so Something wished to feel Everything
and out of that wish came Everything.

Everything grew and grew without limits
and as Something became a part of Everything
It forgot.
it forgot its mission, its reason of being.
"Do I matter?"

Somthing divided and became Many.
Many started to search for the importance of Nothing.
But Something went wrong and Many were confused.
As hard as Many tired to find the answer they failed.
Something was lost and Many had forgotten the question.

Many thought they had a better question.
Many lost touch with something,
and Many lost Everything,
Many could care less about anything or nothing.

Many only cared about staying Many.

Many started to believe that there was always Something,
and Nothing never existed.
And that is how Many lost its' self.
Many lost the quest.

Some would find a glimmer of hope.
They would join together and find Something
they found Something beautiful.
but they were few.
and sometimes Something would not be found for a long time
they would try to find it by dancing and singing and lighting candles.

But sometimes few were lucky
they would realise that together they themselves were Something
and that they were beautiful....

..and that they were Something because they had eachother
and in each other they had Everything
and when you are something that has everything...

...the answer is simple
Nothing is really ever important...
Nothing really ever matters.

These are the words of an unknown poet.
Her words buried under the worlds clutter.
Passed over, ignored, they smother,
Her art , her breath, her life,
Under an ocean of cyber space.
Leaking from the screen, down the keyboard
Dripping on the side walk
Filling in cracks till the stone is smooth...
    ... and perfect
Just like the little houses all lined up in rows,
Too worried about their green lawns and shiny cars to know

That inside she is screaming
and dying from someone to notice the bleeding
That is running from her pen that's
Drip
                 Drip
                                        Dripping
on the floor...
                  
    
Its a sorry thing
They couldn't do more
But her breathing
Stopped all to early
Only if they could
Hear the words
Of the unknown poet

Its a complete lie that every person has the ability to change the world.
We are told this lie from the day we are born
parents with high hopes
children with big dreams
a world full of people who think others can change the world

Anyone can change the world but everybody else is too lost to try
seems to bee the common chant bubbling up all around us .
just like our impending doom .
thousands of dead things just building up quietly
right under our feet to the tune of the quite chant

everybody else is too lost to try

Its true that not every person has the ability to change the world.

But its also true that someone can.

With in the mobs of lost souls there are sparks.
People with ideas and heart.
People with ****** knuckles and rent.
People with mountains of fear and just enough courage.
People who have this ever standing ability.

am I one of those people?

You will never know unless you **try

One time a friend said she would hang out with me
One time, I waited outside for 4 hours because she was on the way.
One time it was so cold my fingers were blue.
I forgot my gloves. I didn't think I needed them.
One time my dad said he hated me and he was tired of my ****
because I was 4 hours late to my little brother's birthday.
I could hear him crying in the car.
One time I felt the most pain I ever have.
One time I had a friend
she was a friend.

break me.
take me.
leave me be.
I love you.
i hate you.
Why cant you see?
You drive me insane.
you keep me together.
please, answer my plea.

Im sorry im this way.
Im sorry I can't say
the way you love me,
makes me run away.