you are my lighthouse

soooo many memories of my lighthouse

the eyes of my heart wrap themselves around you

...and the sound of the sea remains forever within me

cj 2016

Don't own the disease
It doesn't define you
You decide
....if you win
or you lose...

fight the good fight...

cp 2016

for my children....
lullabies
and stories read
and letters learned
and numbers to count
and books from the library
and pencils from the store
and pictures to draw
and legos
and houses to build
and stories to write
and trees to climb
and bikes to ride
and swings to swing
and waters to swim
and songs to sings
and i love yous from mom

cj 2016

I am slowly
beginning
to realize
that to love
can be easy,
but also very
difficult.
It can be
innate,
and sometimes
it must be learned.
It can be
as a well-mothered
baby
and also
be orphaned.
It can be oppressed,
and it can be
welcomed.
It can be hoped for,
and its flame
can also be
smothered
with doubt.
If
you have the strength
and courage
you may
trust
in its donor,
even as a small child
blindly puts its
faith
and hope
into the hands of a
kindly stranger.
Initially, it is
seed like,
and how it is nurtured
depends
on you...
whether you wish it
to reach
its maturity
in the form of
a dandelion....
or
a rose....

cj 1971

The sign cries out
Salvation
come inside for salvation...
so, I went inside
the work of the Lord
to perform...
full of enthusiasm
all the good I can do
for God
EVERYDAY!!!
How exciting!
The job of a lifetime!
Surely my search
was over.
I went inside
there were faceless
robots
people with no names
only numbers
their smiles drained
into a bucket
in the corner...
people never allowed
to get tired
or sick...
No! No! don't stop for a minute
come...let me take your
life
...for a nickel
and a dime....
ALL for the NAME of GOD!
I looked for God
EVERYWHERE
No mention of His name
No music of praise
on the airways.
People would ask...
where am I?
-Goodwill?
-???
when they wrote their checks.
They didn't know...
They couldn't tell.
They couldn't feel His Presence.
Wasn't it supposed to be
ALL ABOUT HIM?
The captains would walk through
never making eye contact
with anyone
tripping over the bodies
crying
I want more! I want more!
As fast as employees came
in the front door
workers were fleeing out the back
while they still had some life in them
they could escape...
I used to hold them
in my arms
I used to cry with them
pray with them
encourage them
it was my great joy to share their successes
my hand was stretched out if they fell
no one was a mistake in Jesus' eyes
And I tried to remember that
and let my patience grow
like God's patience
for me...
and I saw Jesus
come in the front door of that store
He was carrying the Salvation sign
and I saw Him
walking the aisles
tears streaming down His face
looking for a place
for the weary
to sit down.
And all He saw
were the cash registers
and the cold-eyed captains
whipping and barking
GIVE US MORE!  GIVE US MORE!
and the workers
gasping and groaning
and the life draining...
And precious Jesus...
He touched us
one by one
and said, "Follow Me"
out of the dungeon of filth
and despair.
He said...they used My Name
but I was never allowed
in there.
He brought us out
...one by one...
into brightness of life
again...
O Breathe.

A mother gone
Safe warm arms
Stolen...
from her
two-year old
daughter...

New arms and faces
kindly enough
reach out to her

But she learns
...too late...
where her mother
went

Confusion and uncertainty
new faces and places
fear and
loss

no belonging place
to call her own

no okay safe place

and many very hurtful ones

...you'd better not tell

...of course not....
she forgot

she never learned to listen
no one ever heard her voice
they didn't know she had one.....
she didn't know
...she had one.

shellacked....

painted over
shoved down
no thinking or feeling
here
no talking
nobody home
covered up
with coats and coats
and layers upon layers
of
shellac
all sealed up
no life here now
no air to breathe
what life to live?
How do you do that?????

no one lives here
people look and don't see her
there

is she stuffed
like a doll?
Who is she
anyway....


new names and faces
over and over
no belonging here
no safe places

always trying

to find

acceptance

and

a place

to belong.......