Light, light...
Why do they always call me that
In the time before they leave me?

I live in dark.
I am surrounded by dark.
I am dark.

Maybe I need light,
Maybe I'm the demon and I need an angel;
I'm tired of saving fallen angels,
Maybe I'm fallen.

And I need a light to save
Me.

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me

don't you see that my heart is breaking
it's your fault i've been left this way

why do you continue to ignore me
my life is falling apart ever since you left
my life is falling apart and i've got nothing left

you packed up and walked away
no strings attached
nothing connecting us of course
because i tied all my strings into a bow
as pretty as her
as pretty as i wish i was
so sorry john green but i've no strings left to snap in me

why do you continue to ignore me
i've written song and song and poem about you
i was fine being nothing
until you made me something
i'd rather be no one and untouched
than someone left behind collecting dust

i was good enough for you until i wasn't
your brown eyes would look into mine
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me
told me you'd never leave me

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me
why did you walk away with all my strings
unraveling off of your back

The face you see in the mirror
The sloppy scrawling penmanship
The voice that can't carry a tune
The sun tanned arms and pale white chest

   Are all can think about as I try to fall asleep at night

I don't feel loved,
and I don't know why.
I don't feel loved by myself
or by anyone else.

I used to always find myself lost in her gaze,
Like I would look at her and suddenly I knew my place.
Now I feel like I'm just lost in a daze,
As if my depression is forming a maze.

She would always just look up at me and chuckle,
Making my heart race and my knees almost buckle.
Now she just looks at me like I'm trouble,
Making my heart scream but I keep it muffled.

We would go places and she'd never let go of my hand,
Like she was saying "he's mine" without leaving a brand.
Now she got rid of our photos because us together is a thought she can't stand,
And she acts like I never existed which I just can't understand.

When we were together, she always whispered she loved me.
Now we're apart, and she only screams that she hates me...

I think of how
I used to smile for you
offer you more and more
until I had nothing else to give.
how empty
how lost and lonely
I always felt
and I believed I had enjoyed it
How easily I lied
to myself and to you
in order to make you feel better
while I still went through hell.
all you can say
is that I didn't see
how much you cared
but really, what was there to see?
other than the tears
and the pain
and the desire
the lust for your love
the love I could never win
even though I laid claim to it.
How unfair you were
though I am not bitter
Because now he makes me smile
and it feels genuine
and best of all,
he smiles back.

The last time I saw him, he said,

"Some people just feel things more deeply than others. This can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you can feel the warmth of the sun, while other times you just feel the sting of the burn."

Two days later, he was gone.

Have you seen the boy
   with eyes blue and
   deep like the sea?

                               Have you seen the boy
                                  with eyes sweet and
                                  puppy-dog brown?

Have you seen the boy
with eyes that flicker
like golden flames?

                               Have you seen the boy
                                  with eyes greener
                                  than spring grass?

Have you seen any of these boys
   who promised to last?