As I look toward the ceiling I get a funny feeling
one that itches like a *****.
Do you love me? I wonder
Do you stay because leaving would tear your soul asunder?
Lying here on the bed, wishing I were asleep,
I remember how my heart would skip a beat on seeing you
Now, I turn and see you there, hair crumpled, eyes closed
and realise that it's not you I need to question, but all my
Silken lies. Starting with I do.

The noose has my pain
Tied in to it, words
were never enough
As it
Tightened
Released
Silence
Was spoken, swinging
I was not upon earth
Yet in the air,
I was set free, the thread
Entwined my
Suffering,
Disturbed,
Thoughts,
Were suppressed, never to be
heard aloud, I was silent
The noose was my moment
Of clarity, it tells all the words not said,
My life is less, my life is free gliding upon the *noose.

I wish to shed the skin of yesterday
It has memories
Which I wish too forget, I tried to
Wash,
Cleanse,
Purify
So this time was purged, but I awaken
Each day having to once again,
Wash thoughts to not remember, I
Agonise,
Tormented,
Convulsions
Shudder through my mind,
"I shed my skin each day"
"But"
Shadows still persist in the cracks
Each day my lucid thoughts
Encroached,
Invaded,
Plagued
With moments when I think I a free
But then *milliseconds
It returns like a possession
My mind is withering
Will silence only set me free,
I have tried to shed my skin with each new day,
But this is never going to leave me,
Is silence the only way nothing
Perceived
Remembered
Coldness,
Is the only way to cleanse this
"Persistent memory away"
In silence there will no longer be thought
As I am free forever of that memory, buried **within..

I screamed, but no one heard
Still as death my eyes were
Closed
My prison
Eyelashes were my bars
Concealing,
Obscured,
Silence
Only disturbed by breath,
I began to sink, the white of my eyes
"My island of purity"
Slowly washed away by the tides of
My pupils, the storm of terror
Was upon me, my fingers slipped
Each digit pealed from the bars of my eyes,
"Then all went dark"
I was lost in the nothingness,
Thoughts,
Shards,
Splicing
Up my mind, a battle raged
within, but my body was as still as death
I had demons that sharped each claw,
Cutting in my subconscious,
Tainting innocence,
Now the corrupted into horror behind
Closed doors,
I looked in vain, sweat was like
Raindrops, each fell never landing
Eternally falling, a
Noise,
Faint,
Oceans
Of thought below my feet,
I impacted beneath
Courage,
Fortitude,
Determination
Of character, as a whisper
Upon a pollen of thought, drifted
So tiny
Underestimated
Within its strength,
For words were spoken so quietly
"The darkness is weak"
"Nightmares have no control"
"Find your light"
"Shatter this illusion, take control"
As I hit down, light
Permeated,
Infused,  
Crumbling
Under the light,  oceans of pure
Thought splashed over me, fear
"Was washed off"
The bars once imprisoning became as before
As they were separated, I stood again on my island of white,
At the moment of separation,
I awoke, Darkness kept me still,
But in silence, I have the power to awaken,
Nightmares have no control, the are
Figments,
Illusions,
Misconceptions
Of the mind, that when a crack fragments,
Darkness creeps in, sleep well now, you are the
Master of your dreams, creation of fantasy
Sleep well, never let darkness consume,
Always have sweet dreams and awaken well..

I scribble upon the walls
Blindly
Drawing
Nestled in my belief
That this will speak
The words I was unable to voice,
My clothes were clean when I knelt
But now they are
Stained,
Ripped,
Violated
With the efforts of these scattered
Moments, I express without a voice,
"With out"
"With out"
My mind speaks slower than
The moment past,
I fear this is senseless,
"Undermining
My
Resolution"
Of what is being emotionally
Stained upon this wall,
I grow weaker as this message composed
Of my emotional state,
To me it screams,
"I needed someone"
"But I was a voice lost"
I sign it with a handprint
Static,
Silence
Quiet
Is my body, the ink ran dry
From the pots cut open
"I lie here now"
My message  scribbled upon a canvass
On the naked wall,
It now has a essence of me,
My  story,
My  end,
I was in need, but now I **need no more.

Cry*
Louder  & scream,
Cry
Clear so noises travel far and near,
Cry
With terror as hair turns white,
Cry
With fright the things seen are as real as night,
Cry
On a pillow, hide you eyes
Cry
All night, it will matter little come light
Cry
Till heard, voices come near
Cry
Until steps heard closer my dears
Cry
As if a last breath is the next to disappear,
Cry
CRy
CRY
All you wish for all will bleed tears
**Before the end of the night don't you see....