always out of reach
you can never quite grasp it

you have opposite poles
and it's repelling you as soon as you get close

it's a sphere of unknown knowledge
unattainable but not forbidden

you can only know it in death
if you can even then

what you always want to know
but have no way to seek

the secrets most well kept
that die with every confidant

humanity's most asked question
but also most unanswered

your mind can't nearly process it
no one's can

the end of life,
beginning of death

and what life means
why were we put here
and how
who

what?

the earth will keep it a secret
and I will surely go mad

fondly remember your grandmother's house
as I share with you mine

a pantry, tall as a mountain when I was six.
a forbidden box of sugar cubes that was never really off limits
cookies, warm and soft. how does she always have them?
sitting in the rocking chair, toes miles away from the floors
strange stories you hope aren't true
ice cubes made of lemonade
an afternoon refresher
a sunday spent at home, at your grandma's house

always drawing and painting
playing in the yard
her cats in your lap, warm and fuzzy
she braids your hair with her wise, experienced hands
does she always smell like lavender?
gumdrops and hard candies
playing dominoes on the floor
there's nowhere else I'd rather be
than at home
at my grandma's house

a mucky week,
feeling down.

can't figure out why.

I look at my creek
in my neighborhood
as I drive by

my heart aches
for the most mundane adventure;
a suburban expedition
is enough for me.

I'm home on the couch.
every heartbeat telling me to go,
splash in the creek,
follow its flow

my bike takes me there,
the wind in my ears

socks and shoes left at the bridge,
jeans rolled up to my knees.

the creek is a welcoming bitter cold

it's november but I miss this.

I clamber over rocks like a hermit crab,
covered in dirt,
not stopping

the trees are a beautiful ceiling
in this room that has no walls

as I watch the creatures in the water,
I want to envy them.

but I can't
when I'm having so much fun,
being me,
watching them.

the feeling of your soul
being stretched
ever downward
by loathsome fingers

or the tar
that suddenly
floods your veins

or the ache in your bones
weighing you down
anchoring you to the bed

or the pounding in your head
of the restless prisoners,
the intrusive thoughts
you had tried to repel

or the strain
of all your muscles
slowly clenching until you
hate to move

it's the feeling
that rips the breath from your lungs
the words from your throat
the life from your eyes

the feeling that reduces you to a shadow
nothing more
than the opposite of light

the gut wrenching, heart breaking, endless pain
of i don't love you

the ocean is alive, her heart beats in the echoing crash against the basalt slabs

the ocean is a creature,
she lives in the daylight
soaking up the sun

she hunts at night, to fill her belly
and sleeps when she's full

the ocean dresses in greens and greys and blues and blacks

she's always changing clothes

the ocean gives and takes away
life, homes, and joy

the ocean is more powerful than man can fathom

with her mighty swells and crashing waves

the rumbles of the tempest and the chaos in her depths

the ocean is alive, and her heart is hard

the ocean is a creature, a beautiful one
do not underestimate her

the ocean is green and gray and blue and black
and she will swallow you up

the ocean gives and takes away
but she rarely shows mercy

the ocean is sister to mother earth
and paralleled in power

the ocean is a force
and she will not be tamed

you have met the ocean, now
but you still do not know her

swim in her depths and meet her creatures

but don't be the one to fill her belly

i have a thirst
only you quench

i need you

like the forest needs the rain

like the beach needs the tides

like the fish needs the water

like the beast needs a drink

i haven't seen you in weeks

and my heart is dry and cracking

my love is arid

it needs you

like i need you

to flow over me

to refresh me

to rain on me

to make your waves on my life

to rest at my shores

i need you
to quench my thirst

tires on the pavement
just rolling
sunglasses and smiles

we don't know where we're going

we pay it no mind
we're just rolling
windows down
hair tangled

no money to get lunch
adventure fills our stomachs
we don't mind
we're rolling

maybe we're running

just rolling
sun on our skin
fear buried, lodged in our throats

we don't know how much longer we can do this

but it doesn't matter
we're rolling
and if we never stop, so be it
this summer will be eternal
if it must

all that matters
is we keep rolling