How do you tell someone
That you've made it further in life
Than you thought you could,
Than you might,
At times,
Have even wanted to,
Much less thought you would?

©2024

You left me
With no future
Just the torture
Of our history

©2025

Weighed down in the longest part of each darker day
Kicking rocks to find that missing spark and maybe see some gray
This is where time reaches maximum decay
Would I notice losing and entire day?
At what point will it become my choice not to stray?
I can't complain if I choose to stay

I'm drowning in the confusion of life's word play
If I can only hold my breath just a little longer than the mayday
"By tomorrow this will already be yesterday"

But I'm needed today

I can't remember to ask you to remind me not to put this on you so forgive me but refresh me,
What was you and what got through that I had to say?
I wonder that in the best way
I also mess up royally, here's a pocket dossier
I'm in no place to judge the price to pay

Try to keep the fears
And two lifetimes of multiple parallel timelines of tears at bay
But there on the floor I lay
Once again I find myself in my own way
I danced with the devil under the pale moon light
It was such an intricate ballet
Just for me to say
Nothing good comes that isn't then stripped away

©2025

In order to be with you
I had to sacrifice the last part of me
That I really liked
So I find myself here with you
With nothing left of me
Too actually be liked

©2024

You don't deserve my cold shoulder
For sure not worth the effort of moving this bolder
From one corner of the shoulder to another
Not even as a place holder
For something far better
I don't want to start it when it's already over
Refusing to be the next heart donor
That should have stayed the solo owner

©2025

To be honest,
I don't miss you
To be honest,
I'm lying

©2024

...I am...

©2023

It's an external fuse that's lit
And ignites the internal hate and abuse
I put up a respectable fight
But at the end of the night
I always wonder, "what's the use?"
Now I have to come up with an excuse
For being me,
For being what you see
But I've run out of preprogrammed lines
Who I really am is already set in everyone's minds
I stand in fresh sand
The oceans tides has taken with it all of the lines
Rendering me lost
Is what I've paid anywhere near the actual cost?
When is it okay to say
Maybe this life is a loss...

©2025

Seeds of doubt churn in streams of hurt
Blazing trails from brain to heart
It all collects and pools deep
Turning me prisoner
Before life spills over the razors edge
Ribbons of red spill over, off the ledge
Must I follow?
Must I alway question the reality of every tomorrow?
Who wants to trade me for this sorrow?
Who has a reset button I can barrow?
No one?
Thought so
I'll just go

©2024

©2018

I don't know what can be done,
But I've never felt as lonely
As I do when I'm not alone
And though I know it's not me only
I feel like the only one

©2014

Don't ever let 'em see
Don't ever let it show
Men in this society
Must curb most anything emotional
Bury it all, never let it be known
That mental health is what it stole
Stick to the script
Know your roll
Even though living like that
Leaves one barely functional
But you don't want to upset
The status quo

©2024

What happened to my recall?
The damp grass that tickled my bare feet as a youngin
Now feel angry and sharp as actual blades slicing in
What happened to the wonderful?
The warm sand I loved to feel embrace each individual toe
Now grate my every individual nerve as I find there's nowhere it won't go
What happened to the whimsical?
I frolicked with grasshoppers
And blew dandelion wishes
Today I'm annoyed by those buggers
And stare resentment at the weeds through the window while washing dishes
What happened to the critical?
A breath of fresh air
Can hardly be had anywhere
And I wonder over and over again
"Is this supposed to happen?"
"What happened?"

©2024

living life at the end of my rope
feet desperately hunting for solid ground
afraid of the day I won't be able to cope
when death knocks it doesn't always make a sound
i struggle to convince myself of hope
while the good side of life barely comes around
day to day is generally a slippery *****
if not sliding down
it's just 'round and 'round you go
on this rickety merry-go-round

©2024

Always trying to stop the next fight
Never in sight, a hopeless plight
I will forever try will power over might
Just to keep the darkness in the light
A familiar stint so I attempt to end it
A thought historically dependent
On a shrinking love remnant
Gone while I pretend it
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
I scream
You scream
No ice cream
Just fighting
A violent theme
A borderline crime scene
Upstream
From the dream

I settle down
But have found
My last breath comes
Right before I drown
Feeling bound
To shifting ground
My pleas make
Not a single sound
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Who are you and who am I?
How'd we find answers in a lie?
Truth or dare or live or die
Six feet under there's no blue sky
I ask why to no avail
Your bull shiit's what flips the veil
How is it that you still prevail?
With the decision to up and bail
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Go
Just fuucking go
How many red flags are you going to show?
I'd rather not know
Why push friend to foe?
I get it, love didn't conquer all
Love birds in flight can indeed fall
Never though did I expect a wall
Or for you to skip the voodoo doll
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

©2025

Emotions are deceiving
Leaving
Pain to continue taking
Feeding
It's not something I'm giving
Eliminating
Without the thought of asking
Steeling
Ultimately left unknowing
The plot's ongoing
But the abuse is showing
As I'm imploding
Slow enough to recognize
That maybe the whole thing
Is by definition
A mission being...
...pointless

©2025

Is she jealous or angry?
That's the whole daamn thing
She's jealous for sure
The rest is her projecting

Find me laughing
Because it's so fuucking predictable
The "everyday" is everyday
But does that make the ending avoidable?

That's surely a possibility
But I'm not allowed to say I want to end it
Though the heart strings search out the fingers
Are those thoughts event independent?

I hate to admit it
But relationships are just a buffer
Maybe only a classic bowling lane bumper
Because you'll hate to know that know I am no longer finding that I'm stuck here
...

®2025

I know what I don't know
Too afraid of the weakness I know it will show
So I can not let the world know
I don't know how I let myself fall so low
I do know I hate it here,
Basking in this dumpsters fires glow
I knew I had time,
It was a flash fire but the build up was slow
I know what they say,
But it's never as easy as letting go
If I could, what then?
That I may never know

©2024

It's no surprise
A sorrowful reprise
Plays as the soul it hides
Gives in once again
To the echo of lies
And familiar lullabies
That ring as it cries
To the cracks that appear
Like lurking spies
Before it withers and dies
Leaving empty eyes

©2024

Can you only visualize with your eyes?
How else does one view the prize?
What's the max number of tries?
What if both body and mind twist truth into lies?
Can I adopt a different disguise?
Will I have to provide my own alibis?
Or do those come packaged up with said lies?
Who attends to the styes?
Why are there so many goodbye's?
Lost in the questions as hope dies
Emptiness on the rise
Forced into the chamber where despair resides
This is what hope buys
Mama never said there'd be days like this
Days a pig flies

How does one break free of the cage that they themselves are?
When do you become something other than the accumulation of yet another scar?
I am me, but who am I,
Not to the world but simply to myself?
Why is everyone else's
Description of who I am just a laundry list
Of obvious and subconscious
Cracks in my mental health?
What could I tell a younger me
That would change the reality of his destiny?
He would have to see all I had to see
But without tragedy would I even recognize me?

©2025