One foot in front of the other
A played out endeavor
That has only ever
Led to the next far greater
Chapter on disaster
The fact of the matter
Is it's getting harder and harder
To change the visual status quo behavior
With eye glue on the rearview mirror
Then a thought takes over
One I've never had before
Maybe it'd be a little easier
As a simple passenger
How exactly? Well that I'm not sure

©2024

I took a quarter of a lifetime to create
Boundaries with an impenetrable gate
That I could fall back to at a later date
Who knew I wouldn't have to wait
Because as soon as I challenged fate
And tried to break this family trait
And shift from the pattern of self hate
To a more beneficial internal way to associate
I was lead to and left in this mental state
No trial, no debate
Forced with the threat of death to participate
And that safe place, it began to deteriorate
As the darkness started to manipulate
Causing my stronghold to mutate
At an astonishing rate
'Till now I just feel like an inmate

©2024

I've stopped telling myself there's still a possibility it'll be okay
Honestly,
Mostly only because I've run out of things to say
That and I am tired of lying to myself everyday
There must be another way...
Either that or I just don't know how to play
What do the rules say?

©2024

I can not change a past future
And it's lookin' ever more likely I can't alter tomorrow either
Hell,
I might not make it through today's slaughter
If something doesn't go in my favor
The odds stack higher and higher
Then are topped with a dumpster fire
It's forever getting harder
To change the mindset of, "why bother?"
I desperately search out shelter
To begin another attempt at a repair
Go figure,
Once again it's a hopeless endeavor
It has me grasping at any answer
Like gasping for air
No thoughts of grandgure here,
Just a father in battle worn armor
But a desperate depression's taking over
Still holding a glimmer of hope, just a sliver
And a half-hearted prayer not to falter
While they tell me I can't possibly know what's in store
I beg to differ...

©2024

This humble pie
Is more like a shiit sandwich on rye
With a side of sty
Now there's a plank firmly implanted in each pink eye
Life's painful, but I'm suppose to be too mocho to cry
No one knows how many times I've wanted to die
Or the number of times I gave it a good ol' college try
Who do you think I am... no really, who am I
I think I'm my own stories fall guy
Fall back on the lie
That I can fix it all with a slipknot neck tie
What's more influential? Good or evil
In my experience it's surely a tie
But between you and I
The devil has more pull that the "infallible" eye in the sky
Call 'em both out, see who stops by
Or even bothers to reply
My money's on the pitchfork guy


©2024

It's bull shiit
All of it
Every single statement
Every last bit
Prove to me it isn't
Show me one instant
Where it's somehow different
I'll try to be patient

©2024

I wonder why I wonder
What a thing to sit and ponder
Especially now that I'm older
What will I do with what I discover?
What if I discover joy is in the adventure not in the answer?
Or is that how I'll play off an answer that's never there?

©2024