I saw him for the 100th time today and he looked a 1000 times better than he looked when I laid my eyes on him and he couldn't have looked as wonderful as he did at that moment
Honestly I thought I was over him
Yes... It's still him
And I can't seem to get my mind out of the gutter he pulled me into
He touched my hand and every form of energy went through me in that passing moment and it felt like an eternity had passed since we last said hello
But it was only this afternoon as we sat waiting for that dreaded Geo exam paper
I couldn't help but look at his smile and think that he could be the reason I take my first breath every morning
I honestly thought I was over him but nah life never works out that way hey
I need a new addiction
Because the one I have now is killing me
And I know that it is inevitable but I couldn't help it
I couldn't help becoming a ******
Something I wrote in highschool and completely forgot about.
*I bet if I saw him today I wouldn't be able to help myself*
We could've worked out me and you
Maybe in a different time or even a different place
All I know is that we could've worked out me and you
If you didn't represent the high school ****
And I the freshman wannabe
We could've brisked off into the sunset Or at least hid away from all the drama Even only for a day
We could've had it good
Afternoon picnics on a summer's day
Late night phone calls about the nightmare I just had
Laying on the grass Looking up at the stars Smoking cigarettes and listening to our favourite band
God. Why didn't we work out me and you
It would've been such a beautiful thing to watch
Someone I should've been with. But it didn't work out, coz I have attachment issues. I almost loved him.
Sometimes I write poetry that even I myself do not understand
And I have to read it over and over again just to figure out what is written on the page
Sometimes it helps me figure out my true feelings
But most of the time I realise that it isn't me writing on the page
It is something deep inside
Something that I have been trying to **** with every lit cigarette And every bottle of ***** I could ever ingest
But just like everything in life
Karma is a *****
And Attempted ****** is still not ******
Why are things like Death and Love immortal.
When they are the ones that cause the most pain.
Some things cannot be severed by something as obvious as DEATH
Do you know?
Every dream I dream is of choking the life out of your girlfriend.
If I ever see her alone in the street I will probably slap her in the face.
Do you know?
I have visions of slashing your face leaving you with a scar so deep just so I'm the only one who tells you you're beautiful and means it.
The scar I leave on your face is not nearly as deep as the mark engraved in my soul.
Do you know?
My diary is tired of feeling your name printed permanently with my tears.
Do you know?
You're the last person I think about before I sleep. Like your name is signed on the inside of my eyelids.
Do you know?
I'd walk up a thousand hills with just the hope that I would see you.
Do you know?
When I see you or even the mention of your name gets me all excited I have to count 143 just to calm myself down.
Do you know?
The effect that you have on me.
Is that why you break me down.
Is that why you give me false hope.
Act like I'm your Queen because you know that you are my Last Pharaoh.
You whisper me sweet dreams.
You make me fairytales.
Do you know?
I am oblivious to your manipulation because...
Do you know?
My heart is broken because you left and I...I am lost
Do you know?
She is doing cartwheels to the sound of my battered heart.
She has reversed her stroke in the pool of alcohol I have provided.
She is floating on the smoke of the cigarettes that have burnt my soul.
Do you know?
The last time I felt like this I was 14 and still a ******.
Do you know?!
It's always been you.
And you broke my heart.
So here it is.
I don't need it anymore.
If it's not beating for you then why the hell does it still work.
Do you know?!
I am in love with you
He told me that I'm the one that got away. But he's the one who almost killed me.
Let me inject you with a metaphor
An euphemism of my life
The reality of the real world
I spew profanity
I am such a bad person that people think I'm joking, because no one can be so cruel right? And that's the only reason I have friends
I think about heaven every now and then
But hell is like a brewery in my stomach
I ***** negativity
And allow my demon to control my thoughts
She is my only stability, my only sanity
My walk is the footsteps you hear in a horror movie
My legs are pin needles stuck out to pierce the side of everyone who gets close to me
My arms give guidance to the slaying of wrists and popping of pills
My heartbeat is the crack of a woman's rib in a broken home
My chest is the homepage of insecurity and doubt
My lips are the poison kiss of loneliness
My tongue tastes darkness covered in sparkling lies
My eyes are the pathway to her
I am her slave and I will do anything she asks of me
So please don't look into me Because she is constantly waiting for her next victim
Don't try to save me
You have no idea as to who I am
I have trapped a demon inside of me
She is cold and lonely
She's mean, rude and quite frankly a *****
Basically she's like me
Except she torments me from the inside
She has officially burnt a hole in my heart And all that's left is barely pumping blood
I am deoxygenated Because she keeps stealing every breath of fresh air I inhale
She has me mentally and emotionally ****** up So the only good part I had left was my physicality And she had to **** that up too
I have these scars More like tattoos, to remind me that I am mortal and one day I will leave this body and She will be free
I bet you're asking by now "Why don't you let her go?"
She is a part of me
And without her I would fall apart Because right now She's the reason I'm trying to paint a picture of myself To remember who I was when I was young
Because right now She's the reason that I believe in a God
I am a dark twisted fairytale
And I know how my story ends
She will eventually break out of the haunted prison she lives in And leave me warden to my own shadow
Trying to become a better person... Not
I would've done anything for you
And you chose death over me
Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 14
Tyler to Liv
If only u knew how much I once cared for you
I never thought I would lose you
I never thought u would stay the same
I guess that's the problem
And people always expect me to be some transformer
I expected u to take my hand when I stretched out for you
I was lost
And for some reason I didn't want to be found
And even though you were constantly waiting for me
I couldn't step out of my comfort zone
I wanted so much to be there for you
As a friend and as a lover
But I felt like every time we had *** it was just *** for you
I wanted us to make love
I knew that you would never hurt me
I was afraid
So I blocked you out and tried to mute what I felt for you
I wanted to be your super man
I will always be your damsel in distress
This is a cruel world
And I don't wanna get hurt
Nobody wants to get hurt We only get a say in who hurts us
But we lose those who don't want to hurt
And end up with those who hurt
Because we're stupid
I've always forgiven you
Even before you **** up
I love you
I'm not perfect but he thought I was. I'm an expert (unintentional) heartbreaker. We will forever be friends.
It isn't the one night that hurt
It's the lie that you told every night after
We are growing further apart
And the only reason that this upsets me
Is because you're taking my heart.
When did you rip it out of my chest?
Was it when you told me that I already had yours?
Or was it when you took my celibacy
That I unknowingly unlocked myself to you?
What happened to making it work
No matter what
Hold me in your heart
Because it is the closest thing to my soul
--You will always be remembered
Because my spirit decided to settle in you
---Give me your body
So that I will never have to go anywhere without you
Why did you leave?
Did I do something wrong?
It's not you, it's me
Don't lie to me
I am always the reason
You always play the victim, get over yourself
Just like the way you got over me
While I was sitting on the outside designing miniskirts for your cheerleaders
You are always waiting
I thought I needed to wait for you to love me
And I could've awaited eternity
But instead I searched forever
Looking for someone who had not yet found himself
**Fly with me to Neverland
Where even after eternities of forevers
I will find you
--Swim with me across the seven seas
Where our thoughts are permeable and diluted
I can understand you
---Lay with me
You are an everlasting illusion of love
I dream you
Competition between my main alter-egos. Romeo better answer his phone this time. ***** got me ****** up.
And smokes cigarettes
We met that night, as it should be,
We blew up fireworks
We became besties
I danced for him
And he played his favorite song
We were reckless
We were loud
We were intoxicated
By the breath of a new day
We were in love with the night/morning
It is my favorite day
Because it was my first
I haven't seen my 'bestie' since
But that's okay
There are somethings that are meant to be memories
His name is Amo.
Don't mention this little adventure to Romeo. Please and Thank you
He calls me for no reason, just to hear my voice
He likes me, a lot
He's accepted my flaws
And understands that I have no motivation whatsoever
He has this weird obsession with my ****
He's kinda too perfect for me
But that's okay, because we're compatible
We're totally meant to be
I got it so bad for him. No joke.
Don't tell me about bad habits
Because you're the bad habit I could've lived without
Don't act like you know me
Because after all this time I still wish I never knew you
Don't tell me about the future I could've had with you
Because our past saw no future
This toxic relationship that we had filled my body with the lava of liquid waste
And now, I feel like I am suffocated
With the fumes of your polluted mindset of us
When in reality its
Me and You
Separated by only one word
Like twins or an untitled man
Our relationship was an abomination to the gods
A curse to the earth and all that was us, was doomed
My gullibility, was my downfall-like the people of Babylon
Who were selfish and wanted pride-I cut my own wounds and poured coarse salt into them
I still have to wet a cloth with burning spirits
And hide these scars and painful bruises
Because even though you never touched me(which is what i really wanted)
I feel like people can see through me
This toxic relationship that we had made the green-eyed monster real inside of me
I will live my life thinking that there is nothing truthful about being a man
When in reality, it was you
Me, I didn't choose the right man
Thinking that you were my:Even in the rain I would hold the umbrella for you babe
When in reality you were my:Shut up *****, I told you I'm sorry
Like an ancient sarcophagus
You were the shape of callousness
With an outer beauty of humanity
And you showed me confidence
Built my self-esteem
But like Rudy said:When confidence hits the ground it echoes, like sin in a room full of God
But a God I did not know
You were my one true deity
I felt like I was in a paradise
A place called heaven
And to me, hell was just a rumour
But all the time you were here
I didn't realise that every night
I slept beside the devil
Would it be right to say
I miss who I thought you were
Or more accurate to state that
I never knew you
Posting stuff I wrote a while ago, because I changed my account (Kaybelow Basbee Dow)
Wrote this because my then 'man of my dreams' is a liar
Is it too soon to make you mine
Even though we met on Monday. We are perfect together. Romeo Selekoe.
I vowed to love you like you were leaving, everyday.
Because I never want you to think that I don't love you enough. Or appreciate you.
We met unexpectedly
(By God's grace)
I knew it was fate
Because it started raining
Showers of blessings right?
That's what I thought
What can I say
I've become a hopeless romantic
He told me that I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen
And I believed him
Because he said it with the most honest brown eyes
He told me that he'd miss me when I'm gone
5 minutes into our conversation
And I whispered:"Too soon baby"
That day was the epitome of perfect
Because I met
The kindest, sweetest, most caring guy
He is honorable
Noble, like Elijah Mikhealson, from The Originals
**He is the man, that people spend their lives searching for
And he found me
In a boxed shape superstore
On a rainy Monday evening
His name is really Romeo. We met 5 days ago and I feel like I've known him for 5 years. He tells me I'm beautiful every 3 minutes. I think he might be the one
You don't know what I look like
When I'm not in love with you
Vampire Diaries.Season 4:Episode 11. Stephen to Elena. Burn
Never Good Enough.
How did my life change from being a cool kid to being a social reject
Did I unknowingly commit social suicide
Was I unwillingly tried and thrown in the dungeon of unpopularity
Why did I never get a chance to take the stand and let them hear my testimony
I don't even know who 'they' are
Yet they have decided my trivial fate on the social wheel
They had to be close enough to me to figure out that I did not
Could not fit in
They had to know me enough to make me feel this lonely
I must have been friends with 'them'
I don't remember what this is
How this looks
Why this is needed
Or if I ever had this
I don't care about popularity, I don't care period.
What I want to know is how I got here.
To this point
Where when I breakdown, there's no one who sees that I am broken
Falling apart on silver blades
Wielded with insecurities
Invited by my yearning flesh
Was I that much of an inconsequential person, that my existence
Or rather my absence went unnoticed
I always came to the conclusion that I'm not pretty enough
Or skinny enough
Or loud enough
And that's why 'they' don't me
Because I couldn't conform
To senseless conversation and shameless gossip
Anyway, all that doesn't matter anymore
Because I found out a while ago
*Cool Kids Do Die
I now know that Cool Kids don't exist.
You are my friend
You are a part of me
You understand me in ways other people can't
You are a part of my joy
You are so funny
You are caring
And so lovable
You are my Portugues King
You will always occupy a special place in my heart
You have this deep voice that I can't seem to get over
And I somehow don't understand you over the phone
But when you say 'yes' it drives me crazy
Just the sound of you keeps me sane
We may have our arguments and we disagree on a lot of things
But we do have one thing in common
We crazy *******!
You my *****
I know I can always count on you
You are my nightshift fetish
And I've replaced my addiction to smoking with my addiction to you
Coz you are my daily fix
I will love you till death
Dedication to my Best Friend Mike. I love him so much.
No, he's not in the FriendZone.
Whatever I did to make you hate me
I thought that it would be ok if we were just friends
And I appreciate it when you honest with me and ****
But I live my life and I learn from my mistakes
One thing I don't do is judge people
Or badmouth them in anyway
We're all human
So don't walk around here acting like you **** glitter and **** unicorn tears...
This is dedicated to my ex Bunmi
Wake me up
If you see me fall
Don't you let me go
Coz my heart is made of gold
And I'm screaming
Can you hear me
You are the one
This is a song created by Permithius. To uplift Tayo's spirit. My obsession with BBA was intense
Created a new account because I forgot the password to my previous one.
Kaybelou Basbee Dow...♥
— The End —