What is a poet without an audience?
When I write, I write from my heart.
What does it matter if it's torn apart?
I have to live with these regrets,
I never tried hard enough, make every
Last mess. I will be gone soon, you will see,
And no one in their perfect little world will ever
Miss me. But that's why there's the internet,
Fake modern life, to let you feel as if
You are free.

Bully the bullies!* If you feel you've been harmed,
You have! If someone looks at you wrong,
Break their neck! Others need to clean
Their act up! Don't need to apologize
Even when I'm the one who messed up
All along! Yes, it's a self-pity song!
You are in charge, you are the one!
Yes, this is the way you make due,
This is how you solve things! (All alone)
You always mess it up for me even though
You face this whole world on your own!
If by words alone I am "harmed" in my heart,
It's perfectly good (not vindictive)
(Dark vengeance, what's that?)
To go right ahead tear them apart!

This is the only way it seems
Each time I turn you on-this remote
So close at hand but it isn't what I need
Vague colors and shadows over the screen.
In the end I'm stuck in this vortex,
But I don't even know which way I should go,
Broken down on a park bench
Because you're such a hard person to ever know.
I'm hung up on you,
You're the TV, I press each button on the remote,
You take me everywhere but still I'm lost,
Remaining here in this seat without hope.
An endless stream of shows, this is what I want,
Yes, this is it I guess. I'm lost on you,
I'll give myself nightmares just thinking of
Never getting to be alone with just us two,
Alone on some sofa-in my mind-holding you,
Kissing your neck, then I find I have pillow
In my mouth and I wake up in this stupid
Waste of a wreck.

You sat there waiting for me in the dingy cafe,
You had pills hidden in your purse,
I should have smelled the tainted smoke in your breath,
This is all it's actually worth.

My time I spend, each day I try
To fix up this messed up life,
While the pain never subsides.

I was waiting for you at one time,
I had believed in your sense of direction,
Your understanding and convictions,
All failed with but simple inspection.

My life I lead, this whine and your greed,
Pain in my heart with how you speak
Like you're the only one I ever truly need.

In the end I was looking for someone else,
They were lovely, beautiful and smart,
Kind to animals and fighting for causes.
You know why I stopped waiting on you?

*Because that isn't the least bit of what you are...

Sure, I've ruined it again!
Follow me around like I'm the actual
And only problem. You'll eventually get yours!
So you think I'm the ultimate biggest of fools?

(Well, for once and for all, check yourself!)*

Nice people finish last, and there's nothing nice
About going around with personal problems, that I
Have to fit your personal standard, even when they
Are following all of the standard rules!

Like the ring of a bell in the distance
some trance which in an instance
can seem like it lasts an eternity,
I embrace the natural wild just as much as I can,
I know it's not a normal thing
but life is short and I am happiest free.
Lost in the moonlight halo or entrenched
in active chaotic madness, it's all the
same to me. A vagabond, a fool,
I earned this by word of mouth alone,
never again truly kissed, scarred and yet my poor
living is sacred, there is no place I can call my own,
this all I am thinking as I drift off to sleep
for the very last time, as you hold my shaky hand,*
there is little I'd have left for my journey while
they take all they can that is left
of my world all for the sake of greed,
of nothing but selfish sentimentality,
I am already guilty, instantly proven guilty,
so for once let me be.