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Eyithen Sep 2018
You've been having one of those weeks
When you can barely stand on your feet
If you are feeling down, feeling blue
Than this poem is for you

It is okay to not be okay
Just don't run away
Through the good times and the bad,
When your happy or your sad
I'll never turn away
Just ask me to stay

So your mama ain't been faithful or kind
She said she's sorry, she lied
Your dad is passed out on the couch, another bottle in his hand
I guess he lost the fight again

You say your fine
but I see it in your eyes
Its clear your not
don't leave yourself to rot

Please hear what I have to say
Please dear, don't push me away
You will make it through the day
Three little words that's all it takes

So with tears in your eyes, you finally confess
Your falling apart, your a mess,
"Im not okay" , you finally say
"And that is okay" I relay

So if you feel like you just might break
Like your life was one big mistake
Hear me out
It's clear and loud

let down the mask
no need to be intact
fall apart if you must
the rain will clear the dust

You are fine, you are okay
And I will help you if you ask me to stay
But you don't need to say a word because I know you
And I will always help through and through.

But remember this, come what may
Its okay to not be okay.
For a struggling friend
Eyithen Sep 2018
I'm writing about you again
My strange stranger

You visit me in my dreams
but I can't see your face

You have such strong arms
To wrap around me
They comfort and protect

You are at least a head taller than me
Enough so to rest your chin on my head

There is warmth and trust, so much trust
I curl into you

You are my best friend and partner
Doubt never creeps
I can't explain it

You smell of clean laundry and something familiar
You say I smell like vanilla

As you run your fingers through my hair
You stare with loving eyes.
They are never the same color.
Sometimes a blue so deep I could swim in them
sometimes a green so vibrant I can't help but stare

Your hair never stays the same either.
Sometimes its dark, sometimes its blonde
But always so thick and soft

I yearn for you
My heart aches
So much so that I want to cry

I wish you were in my life already
But one minute I'm ready and another I'm not
I'm sorry if I keep you waiting,
But please know, I'm on my way
And I hope you are too
Please be patient and wait,
Wait for me...

I hope that your heart doesn't belong to another
But if it does, It can only lead you to me,
A better person than before.
Mine is still new and I can't wait to give it you
And I hope you are the only one I give it to.
Just a dream I had about waiting for the right one.
Eyithen Sep 2018
You never knew me as well as you thought you did
You only saw the side I wanted you to see
You saw the moon glowing in all her glory
Worshiping her more than she deserved
You didn't see the dark side
The side that didn't deserve praise and flattery
That left me with guilt
Because you were praising only half of me, thinking it was all of me

You never knew me as well as you thought you did
You always expected me to be the happy, bubbly person I could sometimes be
You thought something was wrong when I wasn't how you wanted me to be
"I'm fine" I say. And I really was.
Why can't I have my quieter days?
It can be exaughsting to be happy all the time
Sometimes I want to be expressionless

There were things I liked that you didn't know about
And there are things I have done that you didn't know about
If I told you, would you have seen me differently?
I know you would.

You never truly knew me
You only think you did
If I asked you a question about me, would you know the answer?
Probably not.
You knew what you saw, not the facts
You knew the moon glowed bright, but quickly forgot that there are two sides.
Just like you forgot that every cycle the moon goes dark.
It doesn't glow or shine brilliantly
It doesn't bathe you in moonlight and light your path
It leaves you blind in a night without shadows, without light

You knew the full moon, you never saw the New
Cause if you did, you would have left me alone
About an ex-friend who put me on a pedestal. He thought he knew me better than I know myself. Oh how wrong he was.
  Sep 2018 Eyithen
Dani
My momma taught me to be early at the airport
She taught me how to prepare for court
How to dress for an interview
And to pay bills before they’re due
I learned a lot from her
The list goes on for sure
How to throw a punch
And to always pack a lunch
Organize and keep your stuff clean
Carry with you anything you might need
My momma taught me to have passion
Also when to fold and cash in
Good things here and there
Small bits when she was able to care
Most importantly though
I learned emotions not to show
How to care for a grown adult
And how to hide emotional assault
How to duck under an object thrown
I learned to grow up on my own
She taught me much and taught me well
How to let go of heaven and live in hell
To follow all her commands
To believe her words and mental scams
My momma taught me to go numb
God forbid I let my anger come
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
My momma taught me how

I am grateful for what I’ve learned
To let go of everything I yearned
Nothing for me, myself, or I
I crave attention now, I wonder why?
I am searching to be a Queen
Not to rule, I just want to be seen
Look at me and what I can do
See me, hear me and I’ll show you
What I know and how I learned
Understand me for I have yearned
To be supported and guided through
If only back then a way out I knew
If only I had gotten out before
A successful life I could adore
A peaceful mind without scare
I could actually feel and care
Instead I am numb and closed down
I am being held until I drowne
Suffocated by my past
Pain that continues to last
Through adulthood and life
It affects me now a mom and wife
I am broken because of you
Because of everything I learned to do
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
Because my momma taught me how
Eyithen Sep 2018
If i were to paint a picture of the thoughts in my head
There would be cold blacks and lonely blues, with hints of  angry reds and melancholy purples. a lively green peeking its way through.

If i were to paint a picture of my soul
There would be firefly yellows and apple reds
As well as autumn hazels and summer fire oranges
with streaks of that lonely blue and speckled with comforting lavender. A rainy gray softening the edges.

If i were to paint a picture of my eyes
There would be warm chocolate browns with flicks of fiery golds.
Blessed to be wide, wise, and curious like that of a doe, along with Long lashes for butterfly kisses.

If i were to paint a picture of my body
There would be rounded shapes, subtle tones, with flowers growing from her hands, all configured into a short, symmetrical figure.

If i were to paint a picture of my smile
I could only hope it would be beaming with the colors of sunshine.

If i were to paint a picture of you
You would be a blank canvas, because i have yet to meet you.
But I'm sure that you would be a beautiful, chaotic, masterpiece, waiting for a painting of me.
Eyithen Sep 2018
Good, Bad
Right, Wrong
The list just goes on and on

There is a line that no one should cross
It has been blurred and lost

Morals are guidelines
Everyone is an exception
Lost in a sea of philosophical deception

So here you go
Round and round again
Running the same circles you did back then

You try to keep straight
But it is harder now
Always letting your loved ones down

Your mind betrays what you know to be true
It keeps you caged like a monkey at a zoo

You keep dancing the dance
You keep singing the song
Even if you know it to be wrong

You know who you are
Or at least who you want to be
So why can't you just let yourself free?

A stranger whispers things in your ears
But you don't believe what you hear

You are breaking the chains
The light is in sight
But than it flickers
and your trapped in the night

You keep holding on
As strength fills your soul
But you start to stagger when the fight takes its toll

Your almost there
The end is in sight
The noose you wear is tied tight

The tears slip out
Your hoping for peace
Second-guessing as you look at your feet

Than sudden like a storm
You hear the voice
The one telling you to make a different choice
The one telling you, you'll be okay
The one screaming this isn't the way

You breath out relief
Your death-wish ends
And your will to live extends

The second-wind hits
"I won't go out like this"
There is too much I'll miss

The words the stranger whispered that day,
Gave you a sword so your demons you could slay

You repeat as a mantra never leaving your thoughts,
Giving you strength as they ought

And that is when you realize
Under the scarred skin and thoughts of mud
Under all the tears and blood

There is someone who is beloved
As the words echo,

"You Are Loved"

Hold fast this lifeline
Never let it go
As you learn to love
In a world of ice and snow
For those who need to know, you are never alone. We love you.
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