Between the worlds of  love and hate is the void where my lost feelings live. They watch from afar, hiding to protect themselves, to keep me from their pain.
With mind, body , and soul numb I am able to walk through life protected
But Alone.
Crying on the bathroom floor I contemplate what to do. Nothing hurts anymore
but the people I love.

The only thing I'll ever be good at is dying. Though, I'll probably **** that up too.

She once was a great Oak tree but
She has been cut down
with every lie
You're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough.
She has been cut down.
One branch, two branches,
a slap in the face
another branch splinters another branch breaks.
You're to small now, like a sapling you are not strong.
Leaves begin to turn, her spirit withers like leaves in the winter.
Fists swinging as if they are axes
cutting deep
blood flowing like molasses.
She has been cut down
Down to a stump with nothing left,
but the scars that bear her story and hide her broken heart.
She has been cut down.

Commanding and adept your hands guide mine along
supple lips.
Pausing
She tastes of cinnamon.
She squirms but can not move.
She is not afraid.
Our hands grasp her neck.
Tonight she belongs to us
With every gasp she moans.
My mouth is quivering, thinking about tasting her.
I search for her thighs from my satin darkness.
They are warm, wet, and inviting like the ocean
she tastes of salt and sunshine.
My tongue glides over her ****** , slowly, tenderly as our body heat rises and
then crack goes the cat o' nine.
She can not breathe and I can not see yet there has been no greater ecstasy.

Green as clovers,
his eyes make me feel as if I'm his lucky star.
With an embrace stronger than any ocean current, he  holds tight to our dreams.
Stronger than Atlas, he carries the weight of both our fears.
My love for him rivals every god in the heavens;
the perfect offering for Aphrodite.
He makes my cold heart burn with desire.
He is my person and no one else's.

Eyes as green as pixie dust
   His stare makes my heart soar
      it frees my soul.
     Take me forever to  Never Never Land.
           I am your Wendy Darling.
          You my Peter Pan.

I want to forgive
but should I forget?

I want to forget
but will I never forgive?

I ask myself
Am I too loyal? Am I not a ***** enough?

But to you, I ask why?
Your secrets are safe.

Our future depends on what you say next
I already know
I have known for some time now

Why did you lie?
It hurts you do not trust me to tell me your fantasies
I just wanted YOU to tell me

Why have you hurt me?
What happens next depends on you.

They say not to be angry.
They say not to hate.
But, the world is cruel my dear
and on that day fear takes over
you must remember, remember how it felt to love,
remember the light.
Remember his beard against your face,
remember the warmth.
Remember the happy times,
for they may be lost, but they should not be forgotten
for lost things can still be found
even if the lost thing is you.

Intertwining limbs....one, two, three hearts beating as one
laughing and gasping, dying for air, but never feeling more alive
they take in the moment, tasting skin so sweet
monogamy will never feel this way
monogamy will never know love like this, will never know lust like this.

It's beating out of my chest
I breathe
it kicks.
I breathe
it claws.
I inhale
it screams.

It's dark there.
Scared it will fade into oblivion
I breathe
it beats harder, faster refusing to go unheard, unseen.

Inside, it is enveloped by darkness, loneliness.
I breathe
it claws deeper
I whimper from the pain as it sees her eyes shining,
like two autumn night full moons,
bright, warm, beautiful.

I breathe, it feels...it feels warmth.
The warmth only felt when lying under the stars by your lovers side.
It's been so long.
I breathe she breathes.
Her autumn eyes shining, their light aimed straight into my heart.

I breathe, she kisses me.
It stops clawing.
I breathe, she pulls me closer with each breath.
It stops screaming.
I breathe, she whispers, she whispers all the right things that make me not
fear.

I breathe, this time I pull her closer.
I exhale and allow it free again.
Allow my heart to feel hope.
Allow her to heal it.

Allow it to love again.