The ocean

Is so

Peaceful and calm

I wish

I was

Like the ocean

The ocean
Is so
Peaceful and calm
I wish
I was
Like the ocean

He touched her ever so softly
The moans escaping
Through parted lips
Only he ever knew how
to touch her so right

I have this pain  
I have never felt before  
I don’t know why  
I only feel it when I think about you  
Your face and your smile  
Your eyes and your hands
I don’t know why it had to be
I try to stop thinking about you  
But I cant  
It’s like I have an image of you  
As the wallpaper of my brain
I still have your sweater  
From that dreadful night
The night I felt as if my heart  
My heart was going to jump out of my chest
But instead of it jumping out of my chest  
                                                                    I gave you my heart  
The first day  
That we began our short adventure
You pulled at the string  
You tore at its seams
When you returned it to me  
It was all broken and torn  
Maybe this is the reason  
My heart feels this way
I remember those dreadful words
They left your mouth and hit me as their target
I don’t love you anymore
That has enough power to knock the strongest of us down
Just like how you knocked me down
I still love you though
I will love you till my last days

I think I have finally found my missing piece
And
That missing piece was you

Why wont they leave me alone
These voices they scream for you
You stand off to the side
So close but so far away
You left me so why are you watching me
You left me but you didn’t really leave
You watch me with you devil eyes
Always tracing my steps
I want you to leave me alone
But you wont
I have tried to escape your grasp
But you keep pulling me back
I just want you fucken gone but you wont leave
Please just leave me be
I am begging you
Please leave

He told her
Not to tell a soul
So she sowed
Her mouth shut
With a
Needle
And a
Piece of string

I have made some new rules for myself
These rules are for me to get over you
Cause I don’t need you
NUMBER ONE
Stop crying kayla
That only makes it worst
I have cried for to long now.
NUMBER TWO
Delete all photos
You don’t need them anymore
They are just memories That don’t belong
NUMBER THREE
Give back sweaters
Burn all letters
Get rid of all stuffies
NUMBER THREE
The hardest of all rules
Break all ties
Cut all contact
If I follow these rules
I will succeed in my life
If I let you go
I will be happy again
If only I could
I could follow these rules
Then I would be able to let you go

Have you ever been afraid of someone you love dying
Them being sent away for war
With mountains and fields and oceans separating you and your lover
Waking up one day to a letter or a call
Of how your loved one was shot or blasted away
Their spirit either being sent up high or down to the mighty depths
When they leave you don't even get a goodbye or an I love you
That sweet voice you always wanna hear
Now will never be heard again
Wishing on the only faint star of the night to bring them back
Leaving you with all the broken promises
And all the broken hearts of the others who loved them
With nobody left to lay with
Grasping at empty spaces of the bed
Wishing for it all to be a lie
Laying their awake at night with tears running down your cheeks
Only wanting that one person to wipe away your tears
And kiss away all your pain and sorrows
Have you ever been afraid of someone you love dying
Well I do and I don't want them to be sent away

She
Closes her eyes at night
Thinking if it will ever get better
This life she was born into
She  
Always imagines  
What it would be like
If she was her
She  
Imagines what it would be like
If she lived in a different body
One that was not her own
She
Will grow up
Wishing she was different  
In a different body  
She  
Will not give up
Even though she will never be someone else
She will always be her
She

I want to die
I remember the first time those words left my mouth
I want to die now
I don’t want to die later
I want to slit my wrist and bleed
Bleed that deep deep red showing I am human
And those words you speak do hurt
Maybe those words you speak to me
I should carve into my legs
For a reminder of what I am
A ****
A *****
A fat cow
A *****
Maybe I should listen
Listen to those people
Who tell me to go **** myself
Slit my wrist and go bleed out
For I am not wanted
Not needed by anyone
Not loved
Not cared for
Ill carve those words in my legs tonight
Bleed a deep red
Leaving no inch of skin untouched
After that I will slit my wrist
Like they have been telling me to do for years
I leave the water in my bath tub red
Closing my eyes
I am finally at peace
No one to listen to

I want to die
I remember the first time those words left my mouth
I want to die now
I don't want to die later
I want to slit my wrist and bleed
bleed a deep red showing I am human
and those words hurt that you speak
Maybe those words you spoke to me
I should carve into my legs and arms
For a reminder of what I am
A ****
A *****
A FAT COW
A *****
Maybe I should listen
Listen to those people
Who tell me to go **** myself
Slit my wrist and go bleed out
For I am not wanted
Not needed by anyone
Not loved
Not cared for
I'll carve those words into my legs tonight
Bleed a deep red
Leaving no inch of skin untouched
After that I shall slit my wrist
Like they have been telling me to do for years
I leave the water in my bath tub red
Closing my eyes
I am finally at peace
No people to listen to

I
Sold
My
Soul
To
The
Devil
Because
He
Told
Me
He
Loved
Me

I am trapped
Inside my own head
Unable to free myself
From the awful voices
My mind it speaks
Of darkness and hate
Of death and sorrow
I am trapped

One Two Three breathe.
It will all be ok.
Just breathe I tell myself.
The voices will go away if I take the pills.
The thing is though.
Those little colorful pills the doctors gave me.
I don’t take them.
They make the voices go away.
The voices are my only friends.
Even though they tell me nasty lies.
But maybe if the voices went away.
Maybe just maybe someone will want to be my friend.
What am I kidding.
None wants to be my friend.
The ******* crazy girl with the voices in her head.
So, I stop taking my pills.
I keep my only friend.
Those voices that push me over the edge.
The voices that ended my life.

I don't know why
Every time you walk past me
My stomach turns
Your smile makes me happy
Your eyes make me dream
Dream of looking into them
If only you would notice me
In a small English class we share

She was a wildflower and he was the gardener
Cutting beautiful flowers
Flowers worthy of a vase
Leaving her time and time again
Not picking her making her feel insecure
These patterns of her are not beautiful she think to herself
Time passed on and the gardener never picked her
She found it to be her fault
Like she was the ugly duckling born to the wrong batch
But one day the Gardner approached her
He looked her in the petals and told her
“ For you are the most beautiful of all. I have saved you for this very day”

People keep telling me to just give you up
People tell me you are not worth it
Not worth the tears
Not worth the pain
I have cried to people
I have never thought I would cry to
I cry over you
I never thought I would
But maybe I should give you up
But for now
I am just going to keep having fun
And drowning in my own pain