A long lost moment of fear and dread,
A long lost friend comes to the end,
A broken lock, and wind-swept door,
And now he's gone forevermore

My life went on, I aged and grew,
My heart was calloused after you,
I never got another pet,
Another thing over which I'd fret

But then one day through open door,
You crawled back in across my floor,
Your eyes were blind, your teeth were dull,
Your face was worn, skin-tight to skull

You left a little trail of blood,
Your paws were covered in blackened mud,
I knew you'd seen an ugly mile,
But it was you, with that crooked smile

Righteousness of action
   Assimilation despite protest
      Gesticulating invalid points
         Excommunication for beliefs
                              &
Hypercorrection to fit in
   Accountableness and your actions
      Thermodynamic reaction
         Excuse me for a moment

Please forgive my descent in anger

If you were a knife,
I couldn't cut through -
Warm butter or soft bread,
As your wit is so dull

Oh, in a faraway land
It stands, of deepest black
The great lighthouse
Judging us, weighing us
As we're measured
And found to lack

No seams of stone
Nor hollow sound
Nor doorway made for us
A midnight fortress
Set to sunny skies
As landscape turns to rust

It's ghostly light
Brings naught,
Absent of illumination
And so it's stood
As quiet sentinel
Passed down from crumbling nations

Devoid of any human sound
Quiet as graves
And cold as ice
No one dares touch
It's absolute surface
For fear of its dark price

For all of eternity
It has stood
And watched you on your journey
From rage to joy
And love and loss
The lighthouse observes your yearning

Standing by cliffside bluffs, blue lake below
I dream of the cool water on my skin
I dream of falling forward in slow motion
The sweet surreal beauty of the fall
Into chilling water, extinguishing my fever
I dream of wet mud between my toes
I dream of you sitting at the shoreline
An inviting smile playing across your lips
But each time I fall in my dreams
I am met not by smiles, or mud, or water
Each time, the wind takes me away
And breaks my desire with hard reality

For all the lies you told
          While laying in an empty bed-
          You were never so good
          As you were,
          The night you floated away

                    You were like a stone,
                    Hit upon another stone,
                    Echoing through an empty hallway-
                    Your broken soul
                    Was only good
                    For breaking souls
            
                                              ­              You hurled glass-heavy bricks
                                                          ­  Through my empty windows,
                                                        ­    Tied on with love-notes,
                                                     ­       Penned foul with fetid ink
                                                            A­nd left-
                                                           ­ Only to confuse the masses
                                                          ­       Of sad, stupid, people

                                        You built a paper-tiger army-
                                        Made to rush through flames,
                                        At the Chicago Fire battlefield
                                        You set in my heart,
                                        While children sold a solemn pitcher
                                        Of kerosene-laced gasoline-
                                        For every thirsty watcher

You bled out oxygen,
And complained,
When you nor I
Could breathe.
My bandage never had a hope,
Or chance to adhere

                                                         ­                You spoke a tragic song
                                                            ­             Like a caged bird-
                                                           ­              Beating wings ******
                                                          ­               Against a solid freedom
                                                         ­                That you would rob from me

                                           You swung away from truth-
                                           Only the harshest reality
                                           Was a gift worth giving to me
                                           Much like an orphaned child,
                                           Handed a tattered box,
                                           Unwrapped to find a broken toy
                                           Who would never find a use

Use care or scissors
When pulling on your threads
Lest you unwind
From beginning to end
The sweater of your heart

I pray for thunder
A loud clap
Preceded by bright light

Just a little thing
To break the silence

Something to cut
Through our quiet lives
To break the monotony
To break the status quo

I pray for thunder
Loud enough to topple
Every broken institution
And each and every
Person who stands
Crooked like a bending line

I pray for thunder
To snap us from our stupor
Crumbling our closed
And placid attention span

Like a gavel from the sky
To beat the courtroom table
A judgement on the wicked
A call for introspection
A chorus of forgotten
And the poor that we ignore

I pray for thunder
I pray for thunder
I pray for revolution

I saw you walking away

Lightning arced from your fists

Electric blue eyes

So I put my head down

And stayed the hell away

Do you feel
what I feel
when I touch you?
              Are you lit
              by a fire
              of intensity?
                            Or do you
                            feel that spark
                            of blue electricity?

As I feel you
I wait for you
to answer
with your fingertips.

touch me
where I hurt
I need fingers
to plug the holes
before I fade
out of light
and into dark

touch me
to cool me
and ebb my fever
and my brain
begins to cook
in cast iron
and oil

touch me
in my heart
I fear and I can't
feel the feelings
that used to make me
smile
when you smiled first

-------To My Wonderful, And Growing Hello Poetry Family-------
Your kindness lifts me like a broken bird
So gentle I lay in your strong hands
Which bandaged me, and saw me through
Nursing back my strength and will
And with you, I now fly

Your kindness guides me in my infant ways
Showing me what's right from wrong
Taking me to greater understanding
Molding my youthful mind
And with you, I now learn

Your kindness pulls me in, your broken-hearted friend
Gentle fingers caress my hair
Your smile encourages my expression
Never a barbed judgment against me
And with you, I now write

"Lo, tremble before my might
Shatter ye, all trees blocking me
I needn't pay heed to birds of flight
Nor great beasts beneath the sea

For my wings are powerful legs
My wake the thunderous echoing
Scatter beta predators, you dregs!
As I give chase that's harrowing

Dear prey, your futile efforts fail
Beneath teeth, your meat I shall annex
I am gigantic from teeth to tail
The legend of Tyrannosaurus Rex"

The small boy snarled and sat alone, the fearful quickly exiting the sandbox

You could potentially reach your potential
If you would play music so instrumental
Yet you flounder, like fish fresh out of sea
Taking back promises, irrevocably

Stare me down with cacophonous silence
You stand still as you lose your balance
Your attempts at kindness coming out terse
And my fingerless demons typing out verse

What once was home-
is now a house

An empty closet-
where hung your blouse

What once was kingdom-
lies barren field

An open truth-
is now concealed

What once was friendship-
lies aching heart

Where stood the whole-
now dies in parts

I held a play-
that you debuted in

Where stood a man-
is now barren ruins

swelling; a love
sweeping; a glance
holding the door
give me a chance

taking your hand
invite to dance
leaving with you
promised romance

long taxi ride
back to my place
passionate kiss
cupping your face

I say I'm yours
you say you're mine
gaze out the window
endless stars shine

I live every day in a self-inflicted wound
With self-destructive tendencies, my insides are festooned
I fill my lungs with nicotine to keep me calm
Adderal to keep me going as the day drags on
Alcohol to slow my breath and make me smile
Caffeinated beverages push me through each mile
Streaming television at all hours, night or day
To forcibly make vicious thoughts of self-loathing go away
Painkillers are administered every night for sleep
Behavioral modification so crazy thoughts won't make a peep
I drank, I smoked, consumed, and used
Altered, Changed, Rewired, Abused
Danced in the streets, a wistful fool
Clearly a vagabond, with pharmaceutical tools
     Can't I stop?
Dance for us you idiot, give us delight
     Why can't I stop?
Stand up like the stupid puppet you do each night
     I'll stop!
Make merry like the fiend you are
     ...and it stopped
With the screeching brakes, horrible crash, and flipping of a car

Oh for a poor vagabond like me
My only drug now is the long road of recovery

Tear me
Cut the seams so I spill
Out like so many beans
That Jack buried
And never grew
Like his feelings for Jill
They are still
As so many leaves
Bourne upon windy words
That are gobbled up
Despite the fact
That they are absurd
I wish that you would swerve
I wish that you had swerved
So I could cross the road
Like I deserve
Don't bother with your words
You already won
So feel vilified

You never judged me for my two left feet
Your smile kept me on the dance floor
You teased me about my discomfort
But always ended with encouragement
We held each other close as the world faded
While you taught me how to dance

Your beastly desires were always hidden beneath
A calm and cool exterior, hiding truth
You waited and hunted me, tracked me
And watched me as your intentions stayed aloof,
Preparing to at last spring your vicious trap
Cleverly laid in the deep woods of passion
You are a beast, who stalks this once lush forest
And I am your prey, lying dead in trees now ashen

Slide
out of broken glass beer bottles
to greet the yellow sun
as we pack our van together.
Lurch
onto baking highways
as i inhale your salty sweat
and feed on all your essence.
Ignite
those feelings of passion
you echo drummed away
into our white lace desert.
Pale
against the glowing horizon
your bleached contrary
visage in moonlight.
Awash
in feelings that you hate
for making you wonder
if you took the wrong trip.
Wallow
in the evening breeze
that builds its spite
at all your battles lost.
Allow
yourself a chaser
of barley and rye
mixed with laudanum.
Yell
in fury as you're tangled
in our white lace desert
as you wasted away with me.