We built worlds in one another
Small entities
Of holding one another's hands
Of lacing your fingers through mine
And lifting your closed fist to my lips
As I gently kissed between the ridges
Of your past
We tucked our hopes and dreams in between the folds of skin that we curled up in at night
And we held each other so tight that
there were times where we weren't sure
Where one began and the other ended


We laid our souls on one another's chests
And caressed
The cavities and damaged depravities
That others had laid us victims too...

Lost hours, sacred memories,
Balancing on safety pins, paper clips,
broken cups, sips of tea.
Taped carefully,
to the insides of you and me.

You dig your sharp soiled nails
Deep into all of my insecurities
So deep
The reality that I will never be free
Crashes over
And drowns me.

Mental illness does not define us,
we define it.

If i could, i would,
Disassemble your malfunctioning thought processes
And rewire them back together again, 
With a spanner, in the manner,
That meant you were not
Classed as insane.
I'd unfold and rearrange,
The chemical imbalances
Within your brain
So that the years of disdain,
And self blame,
Where a thing of the past,
I'd put you back together,
In a way, that showed you,
You were meant to last.

Hopes and dreams too big to contain in a body and mind so torn and broken.

i force down days upon weeks upon years,
of regret, pain, shame.
In one mouthful
And you wonder why it takes so little
For my stomach to be full.

For as sure as the moon will rise,
Will i look into those eyes of yours every single day, and tell you i love you.
For as sure as the stars will soar,
Will i hold your beautiful body,
every single night, and tell you i love you more.
For as sure as tomorrow will come,
Will i be at your beck and call,
Every time you need me, i promise i will run.
For as long as you will have me,
Will i be honoured to have you,
I will treasure you always,
Your quirks, bad habits too.
For as long as the sea may wash upon the tide,
Will i vow to be with you,
Every day and night, of my life,
I promise you sweetheart,
I'll always be by your side.

For as sure as the moon will rise,
Will i look into those eyes of yours every single day, and tell you i love you.

I refuse to follow a trail
Where others,
carelessly crush
their individuality firmly
into the ground,
willingly hush their hopes and dreams
so they no longer make a sound,
bury them so deep,
they no longer can be found

You do as you please
but darling
listen to my hopes
bellowing below the seas
listen to my dreams
echoing in the breeze
because me?
i'll be blazing a trail so bright
it'll dull the suns light and
bring the trees to their knees.

The stars they soar
As your smile it shoots through my veins
Demolishing the remains
Of previous trespassers
And the imprints they left.
You brush away soiled footprints
With one swift kiss
Placed delicately on my lips
And in an instance,

I am cherry cola bottles,
Cotton candy, funfair rides
Without a care in the world
I am racing down slides
With you i am ebbing with the tides,
Not against.
I am nights on the town,
A princess with a crown,
A smile, not a frown,
I don't drown today
All because you say
You love me.

I am floating
Floating high, high as a kite
I am amongst the stars and beyond
There is no need for a magic wand
To make my dreams come true
They are all embedded in you.

Chemistry pulsates between us
Two women from Venus.
The looks we exchange put to shame
Any love sonnet or story
You call my name
And angels sing
The joy you bring
Unexplainable.

With you I am strong
There is no matter of right or wrong
With you I belong
I am the most beautifully
Constructed piece of literature, song.
With you I am alive,
And living
This love your giving
Oh this love your giving
Could feed thousands.
With you I am complete
And there is no need to compete
For satisfaction
Because with you I am always satisfied
With you I am ebbing with the tide
Not against it.

You are the fight I swore I had ran out of
Months ago
You are the sheer beauty, purity and excitement
Of glistening snow
And I know wherever I go
You will follow.
You are the gentle breeze
The moments I seize
With both hands
And tie tightly to my heart
Every day is a fresh start.
You don't weigh me down,
You lift me up,
With you I stand on mountains
I drink from fountains
I laugh and smile
And for awhile
I am me,
The me I always sought to be.

And though the sands of time
Sift peacefully between us
Your grasp it tightens
There is no need to be frightened.

There is a reason for everything
You are,
My reason for existing,
A ring, a promise.
Safe and sound,
Til the ground parts us.
We shall be partners.
In crime, worlds at a time
We dance, our romance
Something that could never be crammed into words
Or wrapped up in poetry
For we,
You and me.
Are infinite, eternal.
And what we share
Indescribable.
You will always be my first and final
Love.

Love, love, love
I love you.

The first time I ever kissed a boy
I remember the sinking feeling
No rainbows or joy
There was no romance
No sparks or magic
Or fireflies that danced

The first time I kissed a girl?
Now that's a different story entirely
I felt a sudden explosion
Take place inside of me
I tasted happiness, serenity
I savoured passion and certainty.

I swear I felt the stars fizzle on my tongue
For the first time in my life
My heart understood
Where it should
Belong.

My is mind is not my own today,
so please excuse these words i say.
I am not entirely sure what i think and feel,
its difficult to differentiate what is and isn't real.
My mind is playing games on me,
blurring my sight, so i struggle to see,
to undress reality.
There are holes in my thinking,
dents and Im sinking.
Deeper and deeper,
my fight growing weaker and weaker.
My mind is not my own today,
all logic it seems to have been thrown away,
So i sit in dismay,
and apologise
for these vacant eyes.

Place your hands around the neck of expectation,
lace your fingers tight, with your friend, frustration
Take steps into a nation
too small to restrain you
too big to contain you
Too simple to explain you.

Lies heavy
A heart of disdain
Entrenched in yesterday's catastrophes
A morsel remains.
So you sit take
A razor to your wrist
The urge to strong, too enticing, to resist
And inflict pain
Tear open your veins.
Just like paper.
And there's a waiter in the midst
Inside of you
But your waiting and debating
Has got the best of me too.
And we're sat here together
Hands interlaced
Wondering if we'll ever get out of this place.
If that gorgeous smile of yours
Will ever rejoice upon your face
And tumble across those lips.
And despite the promises
We're wondering if the pair of us
Really are equipped for this,
journey you're embarking upon.
Honey I know it will be long,
But you deserve so much better.
Nows your time
Clench it in your tightest fist
Before you're gone.
Before we hear your funeral song.
Darling grab it with all your might
Now's the time.
You have to fight.

There were fires in me that could have burnt down entire cities, and you were the only one who took the time to extinguish them.

I wrote you a love letter today,

If you listen close enough
You'll hear the gentle drumming of my heart beat
Inside the envelope.

Don't drop it.
Open it gently.

Inside you will find
Chemical solutions, black
Ink on a page, a heavy handed mass
Of words, slotted carefully between each other,
Lines saturated in love.
Hand crafted works of art
An attempt to articulate and communicate
The fires you send swimming through
My veins, the tsunamis you send
Tripping of my tongue.

Scribbled confessions of just how much my body aches for your touch.

Don't drop it.
Open it gently.

It is yours.
It has always been yours.
I have always been yours.

I wrote you a love letter today,

If you listen close enough
You'll hear the gentle drumming of my heart beat
Inside the envelope.

Don't drop it.
Open it gently.

Inside you will find
Chemical solutions, black
Ink on a page, a heavy handed mass
Of words, slotted carefully between each other,
Lines saturated in love.
Hand crafted works of art
An attempt to articulate and communicate
The fires you send swimming through
My veins, the tsunamis you send
Tripping of my tongue.

Scribbled confessions of just how much my body aches for your touch.

Don't drop it.
Open it gently.

It is yours.
It has always been yours.
I have always been yours.

You plucked the words "our little secret"
From your lips
And shoved them between mine
With such force
That I choked on them
For years
Until eventually
I spat them out
On your grave.

Let me take you out of your comfort zone and colour you in shades you never even knew existed.

Perfection is all you ask,
Staring into your reflection,
Your minds own rejection.
You lost your confidence
to embrace imperfection.
To the extent,
You exaggerate,
That life would be better,
If only;
You could appreciate,
That this is fate
And you need to accept
What is left.
Take a breath;
A step back;
Relax and realise,
Its not about
S h a p e or SIZE.
Open up your eyes,
To the beauty inside
- us all.

Nobody takes a picture of regrets they wish to forget.

And in my words
and the depths of my poetry,
i begin to unravel,
the real me.

And when it rains
it pours
in that little mind of yours.
So you take your thoughts
and hang them out to dry
in the form of a poem.

As the ink sinks into the paper
i burrow deeper
inside of myself, until i am lost
in words, alliteration, commas and
full stops
to crop my faults
and tie my edges together
sew myself,
with rhythmic leather
in an attempt to hold secure
My frayed mentality,
conceal the reality,
That i have fallen apart,
Glue together new beginnings and fresh starts,
With ink at the heart,
Of it all.

Poetry is creating words that flow through fingertips and onto the paper as rivers do into the ocean.

There are some things that poetry cannot capture and recreate
Like the pull towards you,
The knowledge of fate.
Like the feeling of your hands laced through mine
As our bodies lay pressed against each other, entwined, as we discover each other, paying attention to signs of trespass, and tread carefully, as we free one another of insecurity.
Like the electricity that radiates from my lips, right down to my hips, every time we kiss.
Like the dragonflies, that dance through my insides every time i look deep into your eyes and straight through your soul.
Like the sound of your voice, as we sit and rejoice at the concept of choice, that we both offer one another.
Like the feeling of your lover, feeling like your best friend, never wanting the day to end, because time cannot comprehend how magical each moment is.
Like wanting to unravel and undress every thought that has the ability to compress your realities, wanting to untangle your anxieties, reassuring you, you're safe with me, and that your heart is in the best possible hands, that it could be.
Like not wanting to even sleep because the reality that we keep, puts to shame any dream, sewing the seams, of the future we had both hoped for and not yet found, the skip in our walk as we find our solid ground and the sanctity of knowing, you're sticking around.
Like the ability to bottle up your scent so for the time that we spent apart, I could taste you, and restart my heart.
Like the feeling you give, when you provide me with, the desire to not just survive but to live and give myself entirely.
Like the beauty you exude, every time you walk into a room, a flower in full bloom, and mine to behold, the inabailty to withhold such an insatiable light, to capture someone that shines so bright.
Like the the feeling of pride, that beams inside, every time I have you, fingers locked, walking by my side. The lack of divide, arms open wide as we subside in eachother.

The best of poets have tortured souls.

A poet in love
is like an arsonist
With a match in his hand.

Trying to capture and articulate
To produce ink on a page
Where
chemical solutions form words
That burn inside our mouths

Our bed the paper
Our hands the words
Our lips the verse

Dribbling poetry
Tenderly caressing prose
The ink flows
This play is closed

We're onto something
We create magic
Between the sheets of love
Fireworks, sunsets, sunrise
Lust, passion
In our eyes

Our bodies entwined
Yours words and mine

We write together
In time together
We compliment eachother
A romance, a tragedy,
You and me

Our bed the paper
Our hands the words
Our lips the verse

Darling, you need never feel blue,
I'll slice up the sun
And serve it on a platter for you.

I will never stop fighting to find the sunshine in my veins.

It takes a thousand reasons to recover, but only one to relapse.

It takes many reasons to recover but one to relapse.

Im not the kind of girl you call beautiful
for a return ticket, a quick visit,
into my most sacred parts.
I am the kind of girl you call exquisite,
as i show you how to master such
carefully created works of art.

Your fingertips are covered in thick sparkling stardust
the reminders of a night of passion
hours spent showing her
just how much you want her
just how much you need her
just how much you
love
her

Most people are just grains of sand, that come together to form a shore,
but you my darling,
are so much more.

One look from her
Could erupt the moon
And ignite an entire city of stars
Didn't I tell you?
Sunshine spills from her lips
Every time she smiles.

Some people walk into a room and light it up
She sets it on fire.

I press my lips against your forehead as you sleep and dream and once again I evade sleep for I cannot face the thought of it taking me away from these moments, the moments I capture tightly with both hands and cram into the moving photographs of my heart.
Your hot skin tangled up in mine feels as cold as steel compared to the forest fires that dart through our veins, erupting in each other's hearts.
Amongst the debris, the ash, the embers, lies the very foundation of who we are apart and the inferno we are together.
You pull my body into your arms ablaze I free fall deeper and deeper into you, into me, for we, are as one.
The honesty and irrefutable truth of what we share and who we are together, brings sanctuary that could never be corrupted, comfort that distance could never waiver and a security that shall withstand any obstacle and endure strongly, the sifting sands of time.

Too often, our hearts are stolen, snatched, hands forced beneath our rib cages and bones shattered as they leave our chests.

But not her

She was different entirely.

I loved being in love with her
Often in the smallest, softest moments
Walking with her in the park, holding her hand at the cinema, sliding the straighteners through her hair, sleepily pressing my lips against hers at four in the morning, hearing her laughter echo across the room

It would hit me
As if the sun had let go of the earth

Just how lucky I was
To have the entire world
At my fingertips

*I would love her relentlessly.

you take the only space that will ever truly be your own,
and destroy and disown it.

You gave me these feet to walk
This mouth to eat
To laugh, smile and talk
These feet I grind into the ground
Round and round in circles I go
Until my energy levels hit a new low
This mouth it smiles
Automatically, despite the turmoil within me.
Luckily for others.
You didn't give it transparency.

You gave me these teeth to chew, to eat
These hands you gave me
To meet and greet, demands
These teeth are rarely used
There's never much opportunity to bite and chew,
And these hands prove use in inflicting another bruise
On my body.

This brain you gave me to function and learn
This voice you gave me to express
Opinions and concern
This brain it is broken, it serves to destroy,
It malfunctions, a dismantled toy.
And this voice it turns on the right tone, until I am alone.

You gave me these legs,
To stand tall and strong.
You gave me these shoulders,
For others to rely on
These legs they are weak
They tremble and fall
And these shoulders offer no comfort at all

You gave me these organs to keep me alive
You gave me this heart to beat, to change lives
These organs I starve
And this heart it slows
As thoughts of self destruction
Circulate and echo

You gave me these eyes
To see the world and cry
You gave me life, to live not die
These eyes are faulty,
They prove me harm,
This life, I sabotage, as the ringing of alarms
Gets louder and louder.

You gave me these fingers to write not fight
You gave me these toes to explore new sights
These fingers they write scripts of pain, and ache after awhile
These toes they march on,
Perhaps it's denial.

You gave me common sense
In an attempt
For me to able to differentiate
Between right and wrong
But this tongue in my mind
Is so very unkind
And this common sense
Forms no self defence
As the walls they crumble down.

You gave me these emotions to think and Feel
You gave me these feelings to work on, to heal
These emotions they malfunction
In a world of self destruction
These feelings they soar
Like hungry lions they roar
Emotional regulation
Was a skill
You forgot to give
And it makes
all these things you gave me to live
Hard.
And again I am scarred.

The choice is not about homosexuality or heterosexuality it is about being true to who we are.