I thought my words
could change your mind,
And I hoped the end
you wouldn't find,
I hoped you'd be able to
put down your gun,

And so I punched myself
in the gut
a couple hundred times,
to block the backdoor
to your finish line,
to stitch every scattered piece
together in time,
but I couldn't quite fill the gap
of a lie in your "I'm fine"
We're so very far from fine.

Now do me a favour,
and quit the suspense,
Do me a favour,
listen to me when I say:
the night is black but
look hard enough
you'll see the sky is grey;
you're not meant to go away,
You've so many reasons to stay.

My voice is tired of repeating itself
over and over again,
monologues are only meant to stay
inside one's head,
and I'm too terrified
to stay another night,
all I can say is "hold on tight,"
all I can say is "hold on tight."

What you have taught me is
Ignoring the red flags
Will allow the wolves to consume you whole

an we watch light become our thiughts
our thighs

our times

her thighs
and movement

a movement and

i dont know

but i know tonight

i hsve

been laid

with urgency

without me

mos importantly

you were not the he

the stitch in her

melody

but i shall

but i couyld

tell you who thinks of me at night
but no

not tonight

i feel mydelf coliiding in the  orning

with the things i gave myself to

laswt night

'
a bill

a fold

a fold in my innocence

I don't want to write rhymes,
I want to tear my pain apart
into perfect, delicate
rectangular pieces
and feed it to my friends,

Then I want to rip their flesh apart
and feed it to my pain,
I want to give them rain,
let their prayers for sunshine
be in vain,

I don't want to destroy a wall,
I want to burn all the cages inside me,
I don't want a key,
I want to knock a door down,
and I don't want to bandage you,
I want to cure me.

Either I can swim or
I'd rather sink,
Either a storm or
not even a drizzle;
teach me balance, please.

My heart's a fountain of blood,
spiraling out of control,
you're the one who tugs tightly,
I'm on constant patrol,

Drink me, make me feel real,
behold my soul to your eyes,
memorise every inch,
so you'll never say goodbye

Leave me now,
prowl for my mind tonight,
I'll invent a face
for my name's sake.

My mind is cut, divided
Into pieces, it hurts so much.
Daily pills are borderline
Keeping me here, above the ground.

"Worthless, no one wants you here."
"You've ******* up again, you're worthless."
"You have failed again, worthless."
My mind screams insecurities.

It's like they gave me a name.
It makes it hard to be better,
Makes it hard to keep going.
An overdose away from freedom.

1.  When I am bored,
     I will play with my hair,
     until I have more split ends
     than your ex.

2. I wish I could go back
    to not living inside my head.

3. I get nervous around you,
    although I know you're no
    danger to me,
    I just want to be loved;
    When I am poking you,
    I am actually poking my breath
    out of your arm;
    Forgive me if it makes
    you uncomfortable,
    I mean you no harm.

4. I don't want to indulge you
    about what I ate today,
    I want you to examine me
    as a poem,
    maybe then you'll be able to hear
    the meaning of an "I love you"
    frozen in my throat;
    I will wait until the time is right.

5. I am but a balloon
    floating, floating,
    in the world in the
    body of a girl.