First shot of *****
You are not here.
Second shot of *****
I forget about you.
Third shot of ******
I **** someone new.


-- Eleanor

my heartbeat dances
to the sound of his breathing;
short, fast, deep
soft, slow, heavy.

If you want to **** me,
just hold your breath.


-- Eleanor

We haven't talked in a while
that's right.
I wonder,
if  you ever think back
of those lazy hours
where silence felt at ease
and we laid in bed
where our bodies were entwined
yet our thoughts never rhymed.

I wonder,
if you ever wonder
if I wonder,

I wonder,
if you ever remember
that I remember,

I wonder,
if I'll ever see you again...

We haven't talked in a while
one day I am going to die
and you aren't going to be surprised...


-- Eleanor

I dream peacefully
And hardly dream
Of peace.


-- Eleanor

It's funny that once ink is skinned
it's pretty difficult to take it out.
It becomes hypodermic and almost eternal.

Could it be the same case
for the those who hurt you
carve a part of their memory
deep deep inside your bones
and make a wreck of you?

I don't know,
all that I know is that I want to destroy
everything that reminds me of those.


-- Eleanor

i smoke cigarettes out
of sheer boredom,
not the kind that makes you
want to **** yourself, no
a different kind of
boredom
probably the one that
makes you want to do nothing
but sit and enjoy
how pathetic you are.

the streets are dark and
uninspiring
a bit like my past
where everything that happened
happened without a sound

my birth, how much i hated
company as a young girl,
my sister's birth, my brother's time
in jail, the pathetic love of
my pathetic life.

but it's not pathetic  when
it's unnoticed and this
sad excuse of a poem isn't
the last i write, nor is this
cigarette the last
i smoke.


-- Eleanor

And maybe
We are puzzle pieces,
Carrying debris from
The broken
Universal truth.


-- Eleanor