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Chalsey Wilder Aug 2020
I don't know why
Can't even begin to understand
When I know you're about to kiss me like you want to taste and lick my soul
I don't bother to pull back
Never wanting you to stop
Never wanting you to end
Your smell, vibe, taste, sensation
Strumming on me
Making your favorite notes play your favorite tune
Fully clothed yet vulnerablely ****
Yearning for our bodies to match
Undoing my button brought me back to rational thought
We must stop
You must stop trying to **** me out of my commitments
My commitment to my heart
My mind
My soul
To starve the flesh
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2014
Stay a little longer
You can cry and wrap your arms around me as I hold you in mine
After you're done tell me your life's story under the night's stars
And wait for the earth to turn the day's sun towards us again
You can't stay forever
But you can stay a little longer
You can be away from your troubles,
your insecurities,
your pain,
your everything
And just be comfortable being you with me
Let me into the real you
Just for a little longer
In your heart and in your soul
Just let me stay a little longer
And I'll let you stay in mines a little longer too
Again, not in love nor am I falling in love. It's just my imagination again
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2016
A judgement is still an opinion
And you have a right to it
But no where in your rights does it say it has the right to bother me
Good day you.
There you go.
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Still,
After all this time
Not enough of us has realized
How to stop the world from rotting
We can't do anything but repeat most mistakes
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2014
You stole my heart like it was gold
But really it was cold
And you dropped it before my coldness conquered your warmth
Before my darkness conquered your brightness
Slowly your light moved in and slowly my darkness consumed you
You lit up my world while yours was getting darker
Slowly my world turned to gold while yours turned to cold rugged iron
And when you left you took the world of gold with you
*You stole me like gold
I just made it up. Not sure where it came from.
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2016
People don't like the smell of ****, so they get the hell away from it.
Stop making it your life's mission to ruin people's happiness because of your beliefs.
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
People have storms that come and go
But I'm not everyone
My storm is it's own person
It promised to never leave me
And it's raining, thundering, blowing hard in my chest
Maybe even snowing too
We'll see it in the whether forcast tonight in my dreams
It always seems to hurt more at the worst time
My storm is getting worse. I'll never get through
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
See don't see
Hear don't hear
Something that stuck
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
“Stay strong. Keep your head up."
Yet people always seem to weaken me
And my eyes always seem to seek and find the ground
“This is the storm that'll pass very soon. Don't worry. I'll comfort you."
I've had this storm for years, and you've left a long time ago
“You'll see. You'll be happy and wonder why you were depressed at all."
I won't see. Happiness is in a pill that I don't want to take
And depression will always be a lingering fate
“If you won't accept my advice. Go ahead then. I don't care what happens to you."*

You don't get it. *I don't care about me too
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
You call me a stubborn child like it's a bad thing
But have you ever asked yourself where I got it from?
I probably got it from you
You're ******* stubborn too
I'll use your words against you.
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
I'm stuck in this cycle of rain called a hurricane.
So much to say but so little time.
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Let your delicate fingers trace and study every inch of my body
Be surprised that no one else knows it
How else do you want to study?
******, darling?;)
Or on hands experience, baby?c;
If you want it both ways, you'll have it down in no time
Let'***** the headboard big-time
We are inseparable
Completely entwined
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Love them and leave them.
Fire and desire.
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2017
It just comes natural to me
To submit to a Dom
You're gentle with your roughness
Eat up all my wetness
Since you caused it
You can't tease me and expect me not to want it
You can't tease me and expect me to not be *****
Your thirst, I can never satisfy
Even when you eat my soul out of me
You still crave to eat more
To drink more
To do it all night
And all morning
Girl, don't you ever get tired?
It just comes natural to me
To  submit to a Dom
You're gentle with your roughness
You're smart with your toughness
I love me a woman in control❤
Sun
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2017
Sun
"The sun is always shining,
It's just covered by the clouds"
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2016
In times like these I am sure of few things
And one is,
I don't even know what to say.
Every word is a price to pay.
I just wish I could go somewhere where there aren't people and I have everything I need.
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
My darling, I'll do all the flicking
Since it's your cherry tree I'm picking
Don't get worried if you start shaking
It's merely just the earthquake my tongue is making
***** taste sweeter than nector
I do all the neck work
I'll put her on my face and make an effort
Flood me when you arch, girl
Idk \_(^~^)_/
Chalsey Wilder Jun 2016
"When sweet fruit rot, they have a fowl and bitter taste
But the core still holds the seed of sweetness
All you gotta do is grow nurture the seed."
Just thought of on the spot
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2013
Here I am, in this dream
Sitting beside this squeaky swing
Without you in it next to me
I feel this empty pit inside of me
It's deep, endless, and painfully excruciating
And you filled it with your love for me
You took away the pain for me
Without your love I'm completely empty
Empty like an eternal dreamless sleep
Empty with a dark void within me
And your love was the light within me
The only light that cared to shine for me
My purpose for life is alone and empty
I have nothing to dream of now that you don't love me
My broken heart is still shattered and it screams
Knowing that you don't love me
I'm swinging on this swing
The other one moving with the breeze
The familiar squeak mocking me
Cause when I look I see it's just the breeze
The swings is where I met him, and I go there whenever I miss him, and when I hear the swing squeak I look to see if it's him but I just  see it's just the breeze. And this is all from an old dream, about a guy I've never met
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2013
I swore I would protect you
I didn't
I was to busy to see it
I didn't pay attention
I couldn't see what was hurting you
Then I realized too late
your glass was overflowing
your plate collapsing with all the weight and the pressure
The weight that crushed your heart
The thing that flooded your soul
The boy that left your heart pulverized and your soul water damaged
I didn't know it was that bad
I wasn't able to see with all the problems in front of me
I didn't see the obvious
that you weren't okay at all
you were right and front of me and i still didn't see
the way your voice changed,
the way your clothes changed,
the way your face looked like you always got done crying,
or the weight you lost and the new hallows in your cheeks and your rib cage jutting out
I didn't see any of that and neither did anyone else
we were all caught up in our own problems to notice you
I didn't know until after you were dead what you were feeling
and I can never forgive myself for it
I cry every night because of it and can barely breathe when I remember the old you
or the you you were after he had broke your heart
and i hate myself for not being there, cause if I had you'd be here with me
happy and alive, but i was clueless and young
now I know better than to lose another friend
and now I know I'll see you again
I miss you everyday and wish I'd told you I love you
Chalsey Wilder Jul 2014
History's repeating itself
In a lot of different ways
Just think about it...then message me what you think
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
They don't count if you catch them before they fall.
Chalsey Wilder May 2014
Just tell me why
Tell me why you cry?
"Because of the pain."
Just tell me why
Tell me why you can't cry?
"Cause this pain isn't enough to let it all out."
Just tell me why
Tell me why depression is addicting?
"Cause it's the only pain that they'll allow me."
Just tell me why
Tell me why you can't be happy?
"Cause I don't know how to, and I'm afraid."
*Just tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why
Just tell me why
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
Sweet sweet tender flesh
I bite into the rest
My tongue does a taste test
My mind goes under a slight mesh
Of feelings and taste
My mind sets off a race
My tongue begins to pace

I could eat this slowly all day
This poem is about the rotisserie chicken I had last night. XD
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2014
After taking her soul for granted you broke her completely
That is why her eyes look like that
That is why she never feels guilt, or love, or fear, or regret anymore
That is why she can't be fixed
That is why she feels pain in her heart every time it beats
And that is why she cries at night without knowing why
Her sorrow is almost too much for her to bear
But she never shows it
and at the same time she does
It's her eyes that shows it
And nothing else does
Because of you she is like this
That. Is. Why.
For my friend that just got her heart broken. Sorry Eli
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2013
You know that little girl
the one that just stares at you and you can just feel it in your skin
The one you see starring at you with unblinking eyes
You wonder if it's an omen or a warning
But you just shrug it off as her being crazy
And then you feel guilty for thinking it and look away
You can still feel it her watching you
you feel yourself sweating, and her breathing down your neck
Then you go to the bathroom
looking in the mirror at yourself you see terror in your eyes
And you're thinking "she's just a little girl" and "this stuff only happens in the movies"
you calm yourself and leave the bathroom
you walk down the hall towards the front door and that little girl isn't there anymore
you sigh with relief and walk to your car
You see the girl fifteen feet from your car
she stands there and whispers something to you, you don't know what it is but it sounds like Latin
You hurry to your car and lock the door
But that doesn't protect you from the girl's stare or her next whispered words "we're coming for you,for what you did,for what you did to us."
You start your engine and leave
Breathing heavily you pull onto the highway
Hours later you get home it's dark and gloomy and the storm is heavy
You find that the power's out so you light some candles and run a bath
You sit back in the hot water as you listen to the storm
you close your eyes and think about the dog you had as a girl
You open your eyes and see the little girl that was at the funeral home leaning over you
you try to scream but she has you by the throat and pushes your head down into the water
And while your struggling against her she keeps on repeating and whispering "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. They're making me do this."
And you realize what it's for
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
She said she wanted to drink me like wine
Make my legs shake so fine
And make her tongue do a replay then rewind
And her previous words came to my mind
"I will make you mine."
She smiles just at that time.
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2013
The darkness of hopes
Are darker than dreams,
because they're almost dreams
but get crushed more often
They're the crushed dust we walk on
The sand papered bones of our dreams
Bleached white and forgotten in mind, but not in heart
Buried beneath the feet of people who've forgotten and your own
These almost dreams, that are your own fault, dig themselves up from the dead or not so dead and haunt you
Becoming your dark hopes, creating your dark dreams
The darkness of your old hopes brings down your new ones and dims down on your dreams
And the darkness of your hopes will bury you in your forever dark dreams
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2013
The door to our lives is to our hearts
The heart that holds all our fear, love, and hate
and everything in between
The heart that decides to love when we don't want it to,
hate when we do or don't,
and paralyze you with fear you wished never showed
even though it does
it does all this to teach you
to push you
and you can have it bring someone in
or you can push someone out even if you don't mean to, it's your heart protecting you out of fear and sadness
The door to our lives can open or close,
shrink or grow,
can brighten or darken in any way,
heat up or cool down,
can move fast or slow or not at all....
or it can become hallow and lifeless
the termites of everyone and everything eating through
it can break, bend, or twist
it can cave, explode, or flood through everything
the doors to our lives can do all that and more
you can chose whether to close it or not
but if you ever get confused over being hurt
just remember the door isn't a door it's your heart and can be easily broken or even misshaped
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
The earth is not for us anymore.
Look how it's started to reject us as if it just had an ***** transplant.
We're the ***** not complying.
We're the ***** that is the cause of us dying.
Heart to heart
Soul to soul
Nothing but an infested endless hole.
Humanity people *round of applause*


I have no clue anymore. Even in the moments I try to be positive, it barely seems to lighten my mood/emotions. I see way too much ******* on the News.
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
It is so fashionable to let out your crazy in any form.
It's not at all right, but ****, I have no impact on anybody and not everyone can be fixed.
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2016
The less I have to do with it
The less drama I'll have to deal with
Stay out people's personal choices/lives.
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
My muse is the last of life I have left in my heart
To only have me is ..
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2016
I hate you.
I'm not hurt or bitter-at best I'm just confused-, but I just hate you.
I wish I had not met you.
But what I wish I had done most of all was telling you "I don't."
You taught me you are the weak *** female I will never want
You taught me you are the kind of person bullshitin on Jesus's cross
Love has no condition
But relationships do
*I can be kind while being cruel
I learned something. Back then, I could have sworn I would have seen it within a mile. Now I am cautious, with a tedious smile. That kind of character has my mouth full of bile and my mind's written you off as vile.



It takes more than love to make a relationship work. It takes hard times to strengthen the bond. Believe me, I'm not getting into a relationship with anyone till I'm ready and I'm not goin into **** with someone if I see red flags like so many idiots do.

As for the last line, I feel what it means but I couldn't explain it to you.
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2016
I thank you for helping me reflect and comprehend
I sink further into my skin
"Do I really want this again?"
I don't need my skin purpled, blackened or blue
That's sure as hell what my head is going through
Don't bruise my mind
Don't belittle my soul
I know why I used to miss you, but not anymore
My heart desires something so much better than a *****
So that my mind doesn't get bored
And when we kiss my knees buckle to the floor
Then we made love till I couldn't scream anymore
Pt 2.
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
Yes, I had a problem with Rose
It was my favorite flower
I think about us constantly, should get paid by the hour
I questioned whether or not to do this in prose

There is no 'us' I'll admit
I focused on all the past ****
Now I'm on a hit list
My disease is greater than me, I submit

Man, you split lol
I loved your charm
I didn't see any harm
But now I can call it quits

Why is it crazy to do anything?
How is it crazy to have stabbing feelings that kindly ****?
I prayed to whatever's out there, I'm too weak willed.
It would be insane(!) to not do a thing

With this moment I bring
The last of my remains
Flashbacks give me something to gain
Goodbye, this is the ending
Written Oct. 17, 2015 @5:09pm.
Please let this stay in 2015.
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
The higher prices go
The lower morals go
The more criminals with badges that get away
Is the price of a black life my people are forced to pay
The more I see of woe
The more I think I should go
I cannot understand you people
Is the only game you've learned is ignorant blame?
I know nothing is the same
It never is
History is the past
You shouldn't relive
History repeating itself is like a woman who keeps forgiving and going back to her abusive husband. She's going to die. And I fear very very soon.
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2016
Since your anger was enough to make you leave me on the spot
I should've known it wasn't worth it to you
And it shouldn't have been worth as much as it was to me.
Cry ***** cry.
Chalsey Wilder Aug 2016
How is it healthy and "good parenting" to let your child do things with consequences they cannot handle because they are still a child?
"They'll do it behind your back."
And?
That doesn't mean to give them permission to do it.
"It's their body and their choice."
I don't give a **** about that.
I can't listen to a hypocrite anyway.
I bet if they wanted to drag knifes across their skin you wouldn't be preaching that, so shove it up your ***.
Just because it's "their body" and "their choice" doesn't mean they should be making that **** choice.
Their choices do not only effect them
**Point.
              Blank.
                            Period.
"...Children and teenagers shouldn't be having ***. It's an adult action, with adult consequences with adult responsiblities that will only end their childhood faster. Teach them everything they need to know about it, yes. But they should not be doing it. At that age. ****, I know plenty of 'adult children' who shouldn't be either."
"It's been happening since the beginning of time. It's their body it's their choice."
"You know what else has? ******, ****, womens opression, circumcision, religion, cults, and the list goes on. Girls as young as 13 would marry(and have *** with) men as old as 85. It does not mean they should be doing it. And that further proves my point. We're supposed to be moving forwards not backwards, no wonder why we can't move forwards, you want to teach selfishness. As long as you decide to teach and pass down selfish mindsets humanity will never get better. And so long as you kiss your children's *** they'll **** on you till you put your foot down."

People need to realize that not all of their choices only effect them. Your choice can literally change your life and the people you live with for better or for worse. And the choices you choose at an early age like *** can for real make the rest of your life harder if you become a parent too early and have to end your childhood. Enjoy being a kid for as long as possible.

....

Adult children- a person (no matter what age) who thinks they can make pleasurable or beneficial adult decisions in the moment and don't want to take responsibility for the consequences of those adult actions afterwards but will claim to be an adult because they make these adult actions.

...
This poem isn't to make anyone who disagrees agree. If you don't agree just keep it to yourself.
Chalsey Wilder Dec 2015
People love to break and torture each other for what they don't *have.
Signed, Chalsey Wilder cx
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
I'm your ****, I'm your pope, I'm your pastor baby
Confess your sins to me while you *******.
The valley by Miguel.
I'm not sure why but these are my favorite lyrics in the song.
Chalsey Wilder Feb 2016
I'm complicated
That's why I like things plain and simple.
Chalsey Wilder Mar 2014
The words of me...

My mind is blank, and I keep thinking *what are the words of me?


Some here has called me beautiful, worthy, expressive
But I feel ugly, unworthy, miserable, and meek

What are the words of me?

I'm silent on the outside, silently loud on the inside
Always am I sad, my soul cries and lets out silent screams

What are the words of me?
I find it a mystery.
Why am I a mystery of myself?
Am I still figuring the paradox that is me?
I think so
It's like
I'm still learning my soul and the hieroglyphics that is my heart
Both are foreign to me
Something I've barley discovered

What are the words of me?
I'm still confused, like I never really knew, or maybe have yet to discover it

What are the words of me?
Well here it is.
The words of me are the foreign language of my heart and soul
Each and every poem I wrote and will write explains the words of me
Little by little
My poems are the words of me and more

Those are the words of me
And they're worth a billion and more pictures
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
And someone asked me what the words of me were. P@ul asked me. Which inspired this poem.
Hope you like it!!!!♥♥♥♥❇❇❇❇♥♥❇❇♥❇
Chalsey Wilder Nov 2015
Thick women more down to earth
:p
Chalsey Wilder Jan 2015
Surprise!
I was scared when they yelled at me
Smiling and holding a cake covered in candles near my face
Smiles among the faces I had met just the other year ago
Seems happy but it's just a dream
The faces I met the other year ago weren't as cheery or nice as this
Nor have they looked like this at all

And just like that the illusion is gone
You're no longer you
The dried up flower petal falls into the now dusty gloom
You remember all you have lost
And suddenly
The color drains from your skin, from your soul
And you become as grey, white, and black as the dust and ashes
Soon you also start disappearing
Soon the scenery becomes cold and weary
Soon settles in the snow that makes you freeze in this moment of time
This is depression deary
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2014
This is for you
The past me
When I was six
It's okay
That you never told
You're not to blame
*Never was anyway
I wrote a poem called secrets.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/398231/secrets/
It sorta goes with this.
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2015
Baby,
Sexually and intellectually we had that **** down
But emotionally, ***** we couldn't be found
At least we smarter for the next ones this time round
Trying to figure out where I went wrong to possibly fix it.
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2014
I'm fat
I'm ugly
I just can't seem to do anything right
Why can't I look like her?
Why can't I get a guy or girl like him or her?
Why can't I be interesting?
Why can't I be happy?
Why can't I be normal?
Whatever that is
Will I ever be happy?

I want someone around, but I want to be alone at the same time
I want to cuddle up with someone, but I don't want to be touched

Why do I hate being touched?

It's weird
Touching someone
It feels weird
Especially when they touch me
I get aggravated when someone does that
      even angry sometimes

But then I think: who would love a girl who hates herself? How can anyone love a girl who hates herself?
Who would want a girl when she doesn't even want herself? How could they?

They can't

I don't know how to to love myself when all I've done was hate myself
I don't know how to accept myself when all I've been doing was trying to reject it

*How do you change yourself to look beautiful in your own eyes?
I still hate myself....
Chalsey Wilder Apr 2017
Coming all at once
They scatter cackling, clinging with their 15 minutes of fame.
Chalsey Wilder Sep 2016
Lesson learned.
The first little piggie bought all he could afford
Made a house of straw
Knowing it was temporary
And that it would fall
The second made a house of sticks
It was all he could work with
He knows it's more stable than straw
But all it takes is a flood then away it flows
The third
Made a house of stone
He said "No one is gettin into my home"
He put in more effort for the comfort of stability
The third pig has taught me
That's the way I want to be
I really need to build up my motivation and ambition.
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