She’s awake in the night, she is dreamless.
The tears start to form, they are streaming.
She tries to cry out, but she is voiceless.
My, my, it’s maddening.
And to think that all she loves
Have turned their backs on her.
While her emotions have declare war on her.

Apathy has set in, she is hopeless
That someone will see that she is falling,
And feeling deprived.

She’s all alone as depression slowly covers her room.
The pressure is there, malignant, questioning if she
Can get through the night.

With a mask on her face, she feels stronger
To face all the world, she’ll convince them.
A performance she gives, and they believe it.
But I see her disease, she is breaking.
I’ll take her home.

‘Cuz I sit and watch as depression slowly fills up her wounds.
It spreads to her core, malignant, I wonder if I
Can catch her before she falls.

How I feel right now doesn’t matter.
‘Cause I’ll say I’m ok.
Yet still I’m wondering why do you love me?
It feels... I feel so out of place.
I know you’re looking for answers lovie
But I don’t know what to say to you.
I’m holding, dearly, my bad emotions.

Last night in the shore we killed that scene.
Whatever I was feeling it.
Now my alarm clock wakes from the dream
And reality’s back, I gotta deal with it.
All of these strangers became new friends.
New stories wrote with old pens.
Same picture seen with a new lens.
But that was only for the weekend.
Drunk nights get remembered more than sober ones.
I just can’t remember how the night begun.
Order up, I don’t know from where these drinks came,
But I know that I remember those strippers by their real names.
Jody? Maxine?
It’s all the same, they were pawns in my fantasy.
****….did I say that?
I’m just lost and I’m tryna find my way back.
But instead I found my way into your bed
Now I’m thinking about everything you whispered in my head like
“I been searching for you my whole life.”
“I think I wanna be your wife.”
And none of that even computes.
I can’t imagine me settling down, laying the roots.
I gotta slip out of here before
You wake up and read the note I left on your drawer.
‘Cause I know you’ll be full of questions
And I’ll have to be real and give you my confession
That I know you’re looking for answers lovie
But I don’t know what to say to you.

I’m holding, dearly, my bad emotions.

I’ll hold you tight
Like a memory you think of when you’re low.
You don’t let go,
Smiling and singing ‘til your heart is full.
We’re slow to realize how quickly life can change
And how fast these days roll by.
It’s like a tidal wave and we’re just floating on.
So let’s look to the sky and know
We still have tonight.

As the fire dances on,
I can see us in the flames.
So vibrant, so alive.
Oh I’d write it out on paper to remember everything,
From all the days and nights we shared
But I’m so lost inside this moment
I hope I’m never found.

After tonight
I’ll be alone again driving home beneath the star light.
When all that’s left of you is your scent,
These memories will get me through the days.
Whisper to me what you swore you’d never say.
I’m hanging on every word.
The hardest tears and the hardest years ahead,
But I look to you now
And feel so safe in your eyes.

They call her name up to the stage
But she’s not sure she should go.
They call her name and yet
Her stomach practically explodes.
It’s not unusual and surely not so desirable,
But she knows it’s her moment so focus, focus.

I know she’s nervous I can see the sweat forming on her brow.
Anticipation, hesitation settles over the crowd.
Anxiety is swelling as the people keep staring
All the while wondering who this girls that’s wearing...

An aubergine Tanglewood.
She starts strumming and she’s humming, set the mood for the room.
Songs with three chords amuses the hoard
With enticing melody’s.

She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t see the eyes in the room.
She closed her eyes and now she’s all alone inside the venue.
It’s not so tragic as she thought it was gonna be.
Still a few more songs left so we’ll see, we’ll see.
Heads are nodding, feet are moving, they’re all feeling the vibe.
She’s the doctor and her music is what she prescribes.
The walls echoing the cheers but the room was too bright.
Nobody will notice when I change the lights to…

Aubergine to change the mood.
She keeps singing and they’re beginning to become unglued.
Ignite the masses and let’s toast glasses
To songs from the guitar.

Everybody get your *** up on the dance floor.
Tonight we gotta show out for Bay Shore.
You got stress? Go ahead and check it at the door.
Let the bass move somethin’, hit you at your core.
Let’s get disconnected,
No phones.
Let these strangers be your friend,
You not alone.
It’s hard to dust it off, trust me I understand.
But it’s hard to be depressed, we partying on sand.
Ain’t none of this was planned, love is in high demand.
We got you covered so why you still acting like you worried?
We gotta capture this for the IG stories.

And you holding back, but it’s alright.
Go and let it loose, cuz it’s alright.
This is our night.

The music’s live and the music’s bumpin’.
Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme? Cool Runnings.
I’m not tryna get in your pants,
That’s a no no.
I’m tryna show my Charm City dance,
How I go go.
Babylon at noon, Gilgo soon.
Fire pit on Fire Island under the moon.
Move the party to the boat, set sail for the cruise.
Sit back, have a drink, enjoy the views.
I don’t wanna wife you up,
Not this evening.
I only wanna life you up,
I’m just teasing.
I see you working now, come out of that shell.
Don’t you leave here without a story to tell.
Put your hands up, this a celebration.
Give yourself a standing ovation.

Live in the moment, and it’s alright.
Let’s just own this, cuz it’s alright.
This is our night.
A Bay Shore night.

Misconstrued
Are our lies and truths.
How the definition’s lost
Through the trials of our lives.

And I should have known that the crown
Was too heavy for me.
Will they lay down flowers
When they bury me?
And I cast my tears in the puddles of my misery.
My heart and soul has detached from me.
And all my convictions paved the way
For proteges to see.

Vitality and destruction
I command at will.
How the variable of love
Can sway my hand.

And I should have known that this burden
Would have consumed me.
Please say a few words
When they rest me in my grave.
And I cast my tears in the puddles of my misery.
My heart and soul has detached from me.
And all my convictions paved the way

For proteges to see.
I pray they never grow to be....me