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Angela Rose Nov 2017
When I die and go begrudgingly into my next life, don’t lie about who I was
Don’t say I lead a life free of sin and was a breath of fresh air to everyone I met
Tell the world I was a strong woman with a foul mouth and I stood up for what I believed
Tell the world that I was mean and unkind to those who were that way to me
Don’t say I was a pure young woman who touched everyone’s hearts
Tell the world I left my mark on the people I met because I was strange and unusual
Tell the world I swore like a sailor and would not be walked all over like an area rug
Don’t say that I was so beautiful and it’s a wonder why I was never married
Tell the world I took up too much space and I stomped on the hearts of men
Tell the world nobody was in love with me as I went on into the afterlife
Don’t say lies about me during my passing
Tell the world I lead a life of surprise and anxiousness and tumultuous self destruction
When I die, tell the world the truth and remember I will feel no shame
Angela Rose Nov 2017
I don't want to talk about the weather
I don't want to talk about how humid it was today, or how it rained some time last week
I want to talk about if you think the aliens are real
I want to talk about which type of flower reminds you of your mother
And I want to talk about what song from the last five years reminds you of summer
I want to talk about the pets you had growing up and their names and the marks on their coats
I want to talk about the first time you fell in love and what her smile looked like
Did she have crooked teeth?
Were her lips painted red the day you noticed you loved her?
I want to talk about what kind of toppings you like on your pizza
And I want to talk about how you like your coffee in the morning
Do you prefer more sugar, more cream?
Black coffee, or no coffee at all?
I want to talk about your stance on immigration laws or abortion or gun control
I want to talk about where you have most felt at home
Was it the basement at your mother's place, where you first got laid?
Or maybe it is the baseball field where you scored your first home run?
I want to talk about who you are when no one is looking, because that's when it counts the most
Do you always spare a dollar for the homeless man under the bridge at the intersection by work?
Do you hold the door open for old ladies with six bags in their arms and a coat full of cat hair?
I want to talk about everything and anything except the weather
Angela Rose Nov 2017
This rosé tastes like I will be texting you two AM
It tastes like I will gather up my thoughts and tell you I am oh so in love with you
It almost tastes like I want to see you and feel your embrace once again

Four glasses in and this rosé tastes like I should be entangled up with you in my California king bed
It tastes like I will send you a three page text confessing things I shouldn't ever say out loud
It almost tastes like we should be up in the middle of the night making pancakes in our underwear

I graduated from rosé onto ***** now, and it tastes like every feeling I have been hiding for the last eight years
It tastes like I should not even have access to a phone where I can text you my heartfelt feelings
It almost tastes like I should go to bed and forget that we even were together

goodnight
Angela Rose Nov 2017
I want to write about the sunset, how the rays hit the ocean and it was so beautiful that I could almost shed a tear
But all that I can write about is how handsome you looked with your back to me as you stared at that same exact sunset
And all I can write about is how much I loved you at that exact moment and the sun could have fallen down and I probably would not have noticed

I want to write about how melancholy the rainstorms make me and how I get so lonely and depressed each and every time the sky cries
But all I can write about is how your eyes are the same exact color as the night sky right before a rain storm in the middle of July
And all I can write about is even when the sky was having a mental breakdown full of rain all I could think about was how content I was being wrapped in your embrace

I want to write about how genuinely happy and bright I feel once the Birds of Paradise start to bloom in the spring
But all I can write about is how they are the flower I could see from the porch swing at my mother's house where we talked about our future children
And all I can write about is how much I miss talking to you at four in the morning when the rest of the world was asleep, everyone except for us and those Birds of Paradise

I want to write about nature and beauty and the weather and happiness and I don't want to keep writing about you
But it's you.
It's never anyone or anything else, but you
Angela Rose Nov 2017
Most days she does not remember what day of the week it is or what time it is
But she always remembers how much I love her
Sometimes she calls me by the wrong name and can’t get her words right
But she always remembers to tell me how beautiful I look today
Most days she cannot form a full thought or complete a full action
But she always remembers she wants her tea with honey and lavender is her favorite scent
A lot of days she asks me the same question 17 times and gets the same answer each time
But she always remembers to tell me how much she loves me
You see Alzheimer’s is tricky and it toys with her head
But she always remains a beautiful soul with a heart full of gladness and an undying love for orchids
Angela Rose Nov 2017
In another parallel universe we are still in love
We are holding hands in our house where every room is painted a different color because that is what I always wanted
We are sitting on our couch as you play guitar and our Labrador Retrievers run around at our feet
In this parallel universe we never went separate ways
We are constantly building each other up and drinking iced coffees at 7 AM while Jack Johnson plays softly in the background
We are lying together in our bed on a Saturday night after work and laughing so hard that we cannot breathe
We are sipping IPAs in our pajamas all throughout a lazy Sunday afternoon without a care in the world
We are brushing our teeth together in the morning and thinking how could it get any better than this?
In another parallel universe you would still be my soulmate and we could still be in love
The one that got away.
Angela Rose Nov 2017
On the night on the beach you laughed so hard that you snorted
I knew then that was a laugh I could listen to for my whole life
On the night on the beach you kissed me so hard that I stumbled
I knew then that was a kiss I could get used to feeling for eternity
On the night on the beach you cried ever so softly that I could barely even notice
I knew then that was a type of emotion that I could not get from many men
On the night on the beach you told me you loved me so much you couldn't move on
I knew then that was the level of  love that I couldn't pass up on twice

On a separate night on the beach you held my hand so tightly that I knew something was off
I knew then that was the kind of grip that said "I need you too much that is causing us emotional distress"
On that night at the beach you mentioned that you would die without me
I knew then that was a kind of feeling that compelled me to feel so suffocated
On the night on my bedroom floor you cried so severely that I could not even look at you
I knew then that I was not the type of woman you should be with for the rest of your life
On the night you left you looked at me with a passion so desperate and pleading
And I knew then that I could never look at you again in my whole entire life
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