Many of the rumors about me are true
My insecurities reflect the past
Cards that I discarded weren't all that bad
Metaphorically folded too fast

You can assume whatever you want
Could imagine a million possibilities
In a lot of them you are probably right
I just feel I am viewed as a person diseased

It's only natural to judge in haste
I try to change their impression
I struggle with tired stereotypes
Hope those I love can see my intentions

My eyes betray sad stories
Vaguely told in shades of brown
And all throughout mistakes are woven
Punctuated by tears leaking down

I was a loser for awhile
A burden who offered less than nothing
Let my issues get the best of me
Friends have tried to give guidance
Wasn't ready to accept advice, kept ducking

Immature approach to solving problems
***** a wall to guard my heart
Let my issues get the best of
Embrace sin when life falls apart


Find it amusing when hypocrites whisper
With each passing day grow stronger
It was difficult at recovery's start
To be judged a person I wasn't any longer

Rambunctious thoughts, undeserving of birth,
Blotted onto the screen,
Uncontrollably checking scarce notifications,
He is not worth my impatient routine.

Will not let you implant in my head
Totally broken-up yet well-meant perspectives,
I wrote a letter but lacked the courage
To read with proper affective.

All I need is opportunity,
Inside me feelings brew and fester,
Mind is slowly poisoned,
I felt obsession pester.

Find reasons in overanalyzed words,
Left with echoes of the past,
Wolves begin to howl regretfully,
Our feral emotions somehow amassed.

Carrying a thousand mistakes in my arms
Thoughts weighed down by words and worry
In my mind rolling back and forth
Judgement making vision blurry

Surrounding area fades into the background
I watch anything but you
We each play with the other's feelings
A foolish game we both are used to

All my stress becomes complicated
Stretch my patience until barely there
Give myself another headache
Wasting peace on you, I stare

Friend? Foe? Not sure anymore
In your eyes darkness is rising
Love you no matter what shape you form
Any secret identity you may be disguising

I take your hidden baggage
All that I will never see
Welcome confidential cargo onboard
I will accept you for you if you accept me for me

That night you first kissed me
Was scared to say how much you meant
I had never met a guy as special as you
Eight years ago I already knew you'd leave a dent

Guilty of letting myself fall too hard
Filled with determined hope
Had never experienced real bliss before
Happy ending dangling from a reachable rope

Was young, silly enough to believe
A little attention made me pretty special
Eyes held promise and longing
No longer alone, with the devil

Together drowned in forever feelings
Underneath bright hallway lights
Vivid memory impossible to undo
I will not forget that exhilarating night