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JS Mar 22
And here it comes again
The lack of breath
Cold fingers
Blurry thoughts
Even if I know I shouldn’t feel like it.
I do.
It’s not an obvious jealously, though.
It’s a terrifying thought of loosing all definitions of love.
All over again.
I’m so afraid I want to run away.
And maybe disappearing is a solution.
After all, if I won’t be here, the love will be just paused, not dead.

It will wait for my return.
You, with a dozen of roses and a soft smile.
Me, healed, ready for a new start.
Jan 2018 · 295
Addiction
JS Jan 2018
Why did I want to stay close to you so desperately?
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Because we got addicted to things that are bad for us.
Jan 2018 · 366
The way
JS Jan 2018
The way we go
It's so calm
The life goes on
The time stops

We are constantly trying to find peace, love, happiness
Now I know - You can't find it, Let it go
Look around and enjoy

The life is here not there
Today not tomorrow
Don't waste your time
Smile, laugh and walk
Enjoy the way we go
little poem I wrote in Thailand surrounded by people who have very little but enjoy every moment of their lives
Dec 2017 · 240
Hope
JS Dec 2017
If one day
Far or further in the future
I will be able to love him
At least half like I loved you
I will be happiest girl alive
Dec 2017 · 307
Untitled
JS Dec 2017
First LOVE

was my imagination
very fine worlds creation

yesterday for ever
today NEVER
Jun 2017 · 1.0k
Cure
JS Jun 2017
You saw me cry and ask
Would you like some coffee?

And with every next sip
Of black, bitter coffee

I was forgetting him
And making space for you
Sometimes small gestures can make you realise that there is hope for the future.
Jun 2017 · 764
Left behind
JS Jun 2017
Just because I seem strong doesn’t mean I can be left all by myself.
Just because I wasn’t crying doesn’t mean I didn’t care.
Just because I wasn’t writing you doesn’t mean I didn’t want to talk
Just because I left doesn’t mean I didn’t want to stay

When I say it’s okey, it wasn’t, can you finally get it?
How could you take your soul away from me?
Leaving me with empty whole
That hurts every morning

Was it love if I’m so replaceable?
Just because I seem strong, doesn’t mean I will survive your lost.
Jun 2017 · 554
I would call it the end
JS Jun 2017
Oatmeal
Biking
University

We'll
be hiking
to diversity

Smoking
Dreaming
Bitter coffee

Provoking
meeting
little bit cocky

Sunset
Despairing
Apart

Brunette
mystifying
her heart
THE END (of our story)
Jun 2017 · 1.1k
Letter to my soulmate
JS Jun 2017
Dear Soulmate,

Today is Valentines day. Our first one apart. I guess forever didn’t last so long... Normally I would write you personally, but you see my love, Valentines day is for lovers, not the memory of them or even love, that is still in the cage of my heart. On this special day you have someone new to celebrate with – I bet she is a very lovely girl.
Our time has finished and I accepted it. But I have to be honest too. That’s why I write this letter. The letter I will never send you, because I want you to be happy, even if it’s with her, not me.
Anyway, on Valentines day and yesterday, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a year – I want to tell you – I love you. As simple as it. You were my first love, the one you never forget.
I hope one day we will finally be on the same stage of our relationship – as a couple or just as friends. Because before you loved me too much, while now I have to accept you in someone else arms.
Jun 2017 · 341
On the halfway
JS Jun 2017
We went through a lot
We had ups
And we had downs
WE FOUND LOVE

But what is it?
Is it pain?
Is it happiness?

I scream
I let myself hurt you

why?

there is no answer
and there is million answers

I can control myself
And I can keep all inside
For many many months
And then it’s bad
It’s so ******* rough for so long

But then I meet you
And everything is fine
You love me, I love you
We hold each others hands
We feed each others souls

But then you leave me again
And I guess I can’t handle it

So I let myself hurt you
Killing my soul
Giving away my body

Destroying what I care about the most
Removing the pain with bigger pain
Jun 2017 · 296
.
JS Jun 2017
.
I'm not a writer
Gathering marvellous words
Spreading healing poems

I'm a fighter
Trying to survive
Avoiding bad omens
Jun 2017 · 462
Battle
JS Jun 2017
I've never known it will be so hard
To live and laugh
Kicking you out of my yard

I've never known it will be so hard
Waking up and not cry
Breathe and go toward

I've never known it will be so hard
Ride a bike without crash
Loosing my lifeguard

I've never known it will be so hard
Not to think and fight
For my own trading card
May 2017 · 614
Solitude
JS May 2017
My heart is taken
By no one
Love
that was so mistaken

It should be forever
Feelings
Overrated
Story like compound lever

My heart is taken
By you
Pain
every morning reawaken

Now I say whatever
Tenderness
Outlying
Not happy end altogether
JS May 2017
He used to be always next to her
Affectionate and being a chauffeur
He knew her favourite liqueur
Prepering a bath with douglas fir
Wasching her every blurr
Everyday being a monsieur
He was just not to compare

But one day he left
It was to her like a big theft
She felt alone and bereft
Calling for some rest
In her heart grow up a huge cleft
Before no one saw her so stressed

For a long time she couldn't gather
Calling every week her father
Asking why the cake is so batter
And how to live without her ex charmer
She wasn't anymore a bather
Sometimes she looked like a cadaver
Looking for some reason to laughter
May 2017 · 301
Humanity
JS May 2017
Because life is to be and to be hurt or not to feel at all
Because a human being wants more, everything is not enough
And how we supposed to be happy and know more
Where is the point of science when we can't discover everything
Until I detach my mind from earth
I won't be able to understand universe
And that is the mistake of humanity
We want to be humane and to be unearthly
May 2017 · 1.8k
First love
JS May 2017
You came to me so slow
giving me few kisses in row
WANNA BE MINE?
We keeped us in brine
The summer carnival and rising sun
The smoke in our eyes
Thats our memories babe
Aren't they good enough?

Then we had BANG BANG
Outside was only sea tang
We excited ourselves and drunk a champagne
It was ***** dancing in the rain
You pushed me on the bed
I was naked and little wet
Let me in and let me out
You whispered with no doubt
Was it only craziness because of *****?
May 2017 · 1.2k
Little thought
JS May 2017
It is a time to slow down
We sunk in the ocean of love
I wish you could just be around
And not be like a lost glove
Do not get me wrong
I do not want to be free of
I just had it on my tongue...
May 2017 · 291
Love your life
JS May 2017
Love your life
Whenever are you
Wherever you go
To feel lonely is the key to feel happy
Touch your loneliness
Swim in it
Jump on it
Die because of it

And then stand up
With smile on your face
And be grateful
Be kind
And love your life
May 2017 · 435
Bitch
JS May 2017
I miss you and I kiss you
I scratch you and I track you
Look around
there is no girl like I

Push me away
I will come back

the future is now
I will hunt you and I will get you

One way or another
Once u said your mine
Let it be like that
May 2017 · 512
London
JS May 2017
You found yourself in the lost place
The streets are full but people - empty
What’s in their mind?
They call stranger darling but friend - man
Living in your smoky room
Oh I miss your laugh and words between us
Why don’t you talk anymore?
I want you back so badly
I ask myself
Do I know my best friend anymore?
But how they say - if you love someone let him go
So I let you go, I let you be silent
Don’t be sorry about me
Please keep walking through your lost paradise.

I know you’re somewhere there
I saw it in your eyes once
But you don’t want to let it out
May 2017 · 442
Loneliness
JS May 2017
There is this one feeling
The one that destroys you
The one that gives everything sense
You can’t call it or describe it

You are in your lovers arm
And it comes
You are falling asleep
And it crushes you
You are in the train
And it makes you cry  

Then you are alone
And finally you know
This is it where it belongs

— The End —