hoping you are mine what's meant to be
all that's you fit perfectly with my wildest dream

I am home when I see you,

Standing there with your messy hair,

Wishing I could softly run my hands in them,

Then remembering the distance between us is not only of minutes but miles,

Having you in my sight gives me solace,

Even if you are only on my phone’s screen.



I am home when I hear your voice,

The sweet echoes of you singing in your car,

I am not sitting next to you nor am I even near,

Just remembering how close we were on the call last night,

Keeping in mind the distance between us is not only of minutes but miles,

Even if you are only one call away.



I am home when our hands touch lightly,

The candy was a sweet lie which you saved for me to know you better,

Remembering the memory of you splashing water on me,

Wishing the cold splashes were not of water but your fingers,

Craving the warmth of your arms around me,

Reality is that the distance between us is not only of minutes but miles,

Let me then celebrate the only touch I got from you.



I am home with your scent,

The scent of kindness and uncertainty,

Three days around and you smelled highly,

Highly of something I would blush around,

The butterflies still fly looking for a scent of fresh sunflowers,

Forgetting the distance between sunflowers is not only of minutes but miles,

But it’s okay because it has to be.



I am home with the taste of your lips,

I have not tasted them but let’s see,

Guessing it would be the sweetest mixture of milk and honey,

Sweet enough to drive the butterflies crazy,

Crazy enough to cover the distance between us,

Hoping we will finish what we started,

Not remembering the distance between us,

Which is only one call away by the way.

the moon burns brighter glaring at me
shamelessly shying away on your name

Complete or not,

It shines through every phase,

What a perfect thing with grace.



Stands tall with its glory,

I am sure it has many stories.



My soul retreats to its wilderness,

When the moon is kissed by the sun.

In the pinkish soft sky of dusk,

Another love story has just begun.



The sun might be too bright to understand the darkness,

The moon, however, celebrates its lightness.

In my prayers, I reminisce,

When I see both with bliss.

the moon burns brighter
glaring at me
shying away on your name

while I shamelessly
hide in my misery
of your poisoned
pillow talks  

but

                                                               ­                           the moon sees it all
                                                             ­                           even under my skin
                                                                ­                     even over my pretend
                                                         ­                                     truly wondering
                                                                ­                               how I am doing

This heart of mine
Is funny
Gives me trouble
Aches
Loves
Burns
Smiles
Handles me well
Reminds me of terror
Is weak
Is full of tenderness
But it’s mine

all the good things you said or did for me stays while I'm forgetting how bad you did me. those sweet talks could be an illusion but what you did is the reality.

The warmth creeps in
You holding me tight
Over my body
You take control
Eyes are locked
You become a part of me

Your name is on my lips
Your hands are on my hips
We are dancing
You are leading

I open my eyes
For when the dance is over
A look at the cold and empty side of my bed
Wishing for you to take me over
Over and over
Over and over

every time it gets easier
you come back
yet no one is left but myself to clean your mess
when you leave again
without a goodbye

the damage you do to my heart is painful
it’s beautiful how after picking up my pieces
i get excited and am ready to scatter them again
when you pop out of nowhere

without a second thought
i swallow all your lies
again and again

not cool I would say
not cool

make noises in your head so you can’t hear your heart

summer begins with the sun
& ends with me in your arms

Lungs are yapping for air
Even breathing takes effort
This pattern can’t be trusted

Heart is empty from all the over pumping
The color red has turned black
The way to my heart is now dry

Eyes are zooming in the dark
Imaging the impossible
Imaging the comfort of my death bed

Ears are still to the nothingness
Yearning for your voice
Deaf to the words that will save me

Lips are sealed shut from the overthinking
Words want to flow free
Yet the only flow open is betraying me toxicially

Here I am
Still
Pushing my luck
To see another day
Without you

Here I am
Silenced
With a loud mind
Pushing my luck
To see another day
Without you

it's not tiring being happy
it's ******* tiring not being sad and bothered

. . . . . . .  . i bite my lower lip
. . . . .ready to tease the tease
                                                 the taste of your swollen lips
                                                 lingering on the tip of my tongue
                                                 ***** eyes glimmering in the dark  
                          come to me  
                          come home
                                                we’ll celebrate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
                                                let's toast . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

healing is a non-stop growth
so painful
so fruitful

a gift to yourself
you give by suffering
you give by a choice

a gift like no other
a gift for eternity
a gift no one can ****** away

there is no end to it
only levels and levels
of a stronger version

the day you embrace it
it leaves you
like everyone

maybe that is indeed for the better

Life is black and white
One moment you are full of feels
Another you are nothing but an empty vase
Tell me which is worse
Tell me which is better

The feeling of being accepted
The feeling of being appreciated for lil’ things
The feeling of belonging to someone and someplace
The feeling of chasing dreams with hope
The feeling of inspiration brewing within you
The feeling of loving life while watching the sun set
The feeling of the sipping on the warm coffee
The feeling of cold water running down your body
The feeling of waking up to a sunny morning
The feeling of overcoming your fear of dogs
The feeling of achievement after finishing a 3000-word essay
The feeling of being

Or

The peaceful feeling of being lost in your own dimension
The peaceful feeling of not talking to anyone
The peaceful feeling of not having to trust a soul
The peaceful feeling of laying hopelessly  
The peaceful feeling of the 3am routine
The peaceful feeling of the bitter sensation of liquor
The peaceful feeling of hot water running in the dark space
The peaceful feeling of not leaving your bed
The peaceful feeling of gazing at the ceiling
The peaceful feeling of just being

Tell me which is worse
Tell me which is better

all the small things you work on gets bigger altogether,
imagine the bigger picture and start now.

You wake up to a golden haze
Rays tearing through your light curtains
Reaching the layer of your half-asleep almonds

You stretch your body like a roaring Lion
Feeling the magic run through your spine and beyond
Relaxing on the loud sigh escaping your anatomy

You admire your ruffled hair in the empty mirror
Running your hands to clean the mess of last night’s terror
Struggling to remember the mystery of your 7 secs of nightmare

You crunch and munch on the sweetness filled river
******* on the last drop of heaven
Craving for more paradise to flow

You put on your pretty sundress with matching earrings
Looking like a princess you hear the door ring
Hurrying to open the door only so eager to meet the prince next door

You fix your hair now and then
Hoping he won’t lock his eyes with your distress sense of sight
Walking like a queen with butterflies inside

You sit across the view you longed for
Taking every chance to celebrate the most awaited day
Tearing your eyes away from the menu to only finding a beautiful pair of eyes

You struggle what to look at
Deciding between the plate or the soul of wholesome
Diving into the red wine calms the butterflies inside

You muster the courage
Putting your hand on top of his
Taking in the bliss and finally saying “thanks for lunch”

You walk hand in hand by his side
Enjoying the shores hit the rocks time by time
Stealing a glance of his deep dimples smile to smile

You see the sky changing hues
Yellow to orange to pink to purple to anything but blue
The sky is changing but we stay true to the view

You find peace
Calming your soul
Reliving happiness

You both are looking at everything except each other
Ending the night with no words
Slowly closing the gap between each other

You feel the butterflies returning home
The Sun is setting
The door is closing

After a bright day with a brave soul and a breathtaking view
I wait for the rays to welcome me into a new day
Sweet dreams

For whenever I see the sunset you cross my mind
Left after colouring my life

Too soon I couldn’t bid my goodbye
Too quick without explaining why

sitting still with moving thoughts
pretending nothing can break me more
you come and go like the wind
leave me wondering if I should feel warm or cold

suffering for sanity
only smiles on my face
guts are sickened of my imagery frame
praying for a better God’s plan

every once awhile I win the battle
of sanity and peace within
there you come again with twisted turns
blurring my worth with your twisted says

where shall the words go when I only want you to read