Last month, i dreamt of you.
You painted me into a bright yellow when i was completely colored in blue.

Last week, i dreamt of you.
You made me smile and suddenly it was you who i always wanted to talk to.

Last night, i dreamt of you.
We walked hand in hand under the pink skies of a nearby avenue.

Tonight, I might dream of you.
Will you dream of me too?

They tell me to either write or say,
Whichever would best light the way.
But there are words that i can neither say nor write,
As if my brain, lips, and heart are in a constant fight.

I yearn to say such things i feel,
Then i realize i could not reveal.
My heart screams out your name,
But my lips could not do the same.

I sauntered towards the alley of my ambitious hopes;
And trusted my instincts in the course of my venture.
But as i carried my way out through the distant slopes,
I found myself wounded by a string of doubts in the fear of failure.

On the other side of the tracks, you smiled.
My train arrived before i could return the gesture.
I decided to stand by and just wait for another.
To see your face once more before we part ways again.
But the moment the train moved, yours arrived.
And you, you took the train and i missed mine.
All for the sake of you, here i am waiting again.

I stood by for your return but it seems as though the prolonging agony of holding back has prompted me to discard more relationships.

I've lost a thousand and still there was no sign of you.

Here I am again in my place of solitude.
Here I am confined within four walls and a ceiling.
I look around and it's just me again,
Just me and a room full of white tiles.

Here I am in my tiny space,
Here I am thinking it's a massive room.
My breathing echoes and the shower **** creaks;
As I turn it on letting the water drip.

Here I am turning on the heater at number three,
Here I am with the heat burning through my skin.
Yet my heart is still ice cold and frozen,
And I wait to feel the pain again.

Here I am with the water at full pressure,
Here I am feeling nothing at all.
All it takes is a few minutes,
Until the pressure breaks what feels like glass.

Here I am again with my knees so weak,
Here I am with my wounded feet.
Here I am bleeding from the shards of glass,
The glass that encloses my pained heart.

Here I am again with my head leaned on the tiled wall.
Here I am sitting on the wet bathroom floor.
And while I sit here bare naked,
Tears continually flow down my cheeks.

Here I am staring through empty space,
Here I am thinking about everything.
Hot water sprinkles from the running shower;
And I watch as it forms circles like tiny raindrops on the floor.

Here I am feeling everything too much.
With the sound of water silencing my cry,
I let myself release all the pain once more.
The pain and sadness I keep underneath my joyful facade.

Here I am again catching my breath,
Here I am suffocating from the steam.
I focus on my breathing and turn the heater off,
I let myself forget the pain to try and save myself.

Here I am turning the cold shower off,
Here I am again fresh with my frozen heart.
I put a smile on my face as i walk out of the room,
To face the world again until it's time to change the glass.

I've always believed in signs.
I've spent way too much time waiting for signs of where to find you.
Give me a sign.
A hint on who you are or where you might be.
A sign on whether you are happy or sharing the kind of loneliness that i'm feeling.
I want to know if you're still out there waiting for me as well.
I need a clue on who my future is.
I need someone i can write about.
I need a name or maybe just a glimpse of what you love, what you hate, or what you look like.
I need to know.
Because i'm sure you're out there somewhere.
I just don't know if it's too late or if i may be chasing after the wrong person all along.