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"windowed" poems
Ilion gray poet extraordinary is away learning the codes hidden in raindrops no reason for surprise; for the mountains of Brooklyn, the Manhattan caverns of Sunhenge^, corridors of narrow focus for trapping the declining sun rays, neither high enough, narrow blinding, to keep a good man from doing good things that life provides as opportunities to do the right thing he muses that it took five years for the other poets to understand our poem-dreams; avant-garde he says, but I laugh, never felt more misunderstood and reply take care, be en garde! no matter for he is learning a new language, the codes hidden in raindrops in a land of wheat once called Indian Territory and eager await his return so we may walk along the Brooklyn shoreline, beginning from under the Brooklyn Bridge where Washington’s men escaped a British trap and he can decode for me the whispery thunderous noises of NY showers that come up so sudden,  so roughened, but right now, the seductive sun blinks in Manhattan windowed towers reflecting back on to our East River as golden blinks of nature We will walk lost in the absorption of our different commonalities, holding the hands of his young son, and my Wendy, both of them equal in possession of round saucer eyes that give us poems He calls me me friend, I call him brother, teacher, master, better than the best, well recalling a late night message that bred a five year conversation ongoing not everything need be coded what you read here it is not coded, for the raindrops come clear and clean and the poems land on our tongues bounce on the foreheads and eyes of the babes, all stored and saved for the future blessings spoken in a single tongue 7/18/18 ^https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattanhenge
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Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 10:41 PM UTC
Ilion is learning the codes hidden in raindrops
Ilion gray poet extraordinary is away learning the codes hidden in raindrops no reason for surprise; for the mountains of Brooklyn, the Manhattan caverns of Sunhenge^, corridors of narrow focus for trapping the declining sun rays, neither high enough, narrow blinding, to keep a good man from doing good things that life provides as opportunities to do the right thing he muses that it took five years for the other poets to understand our poem-dreams; avant-garde he says, but I laugh, never felt more misunderstood and reply take care, be en garde! no matter for he is learning a new language, the codes hidden in raindrops in a land of wheat once called Indian Territory and eager await his return so we may walk along the Brooklyn shoreline, beginning from under the Brooklyn Bridge where Washington’s men escaped a British trap and he can decode for me the whispery thunderous noises of NY showers that come up so sudden,  so roughened, but right now, the seductive sun blinks in Manhattan windowed towers reflecting back on to our East River as golden blinks of nature We will walk lost in the absorption of our different commonalities, holding the hands of his young son, and my Wendy, both of them equal in possession of round saucer eyes that give us poems He calls me me friend, I call him brother, teacher, master, better than the best, well recalling a late night message that bred a five year conversation ongoing not everything need be coded what you read here it is not coded, for the raindrops come clear and clean and the poems land on our tongues bounce on the foreheads and eyes of the babes, all stored and saved for the future blessings spoken in a single tongue 7/18/18 ^https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattanhenge
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44
In tunnelled darks, pastes of reminisce Outward disjoint points to irrelevance Spooned and coned in cold mountaintops The darks of sorrows and trails of struggles Persistence patterns of self satire in gloom Sunken in identity crisis of broad oceans Stormy seas spotlighted by beatific stars Trajectory of spilled ice in recurrent motions A mere past cocooned by fears and tears Clouded in thoughts that cruise and decline Greyed white imprinted by sudden sadness Madness echoes on arched ancient bricks Checkered maniacs of fulfilled passions Filed and iced in cased prolific memories Cascades of sunshine tickles to warmth Orchards of glow that bloom and grow Picked, ticked and unpacked from boxes Attacked, nurtured and stored in bliss Eventful lessons unfolds in untold augury A mission as the known permeates and fade Windowed eyes all line up in parade Mirrored lights digest the haunted haste A stranger to self, an ally to another A dance of bright entwine a twist of blur
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Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 11:48 AM UTC
Checkered Darks (Lyrical Poetry Additional Audio)
Hi, below I copy a humorous hiabun, which I shared as an exercise to mentor enquiring and inspired poets to learn, so they might adopt and try different techniques and then give critique together with awesome comments... Yes, I used the words *** ****** and **** for context the rest was left to an individual imagination as in good poetry! It included reflective commentary encompasses innocent classification terminology used in the critique, reading, examining, appreciating, understanding and writing of poetry for example: POETIC DEVICES (enjambement, duality, keriji, images, collocation, semantic, oxymoron, repetition, listing etc.), STORY (personification, characterisation, subject, context, voice etc.), IMAGERY (synaesthesia), STRUCTURE ( lineation, breaks, syntactic etc.), SOUNDS (syllables, rhyme, alliteration, pace, musicality, phrasing, beat, assonance, onomatopoeia, mouthed rhythms, patterned) and WORDS (preposition, determiner, verbs, adverbs, lexical, nouns, adjectives) used by poets, critics and academics... And here it is : **** tongue-in-cheek haibun - a reflective commentary on writing a popular tanka Eye lashes flicker a shared urgent interest parting - dancing smile My first inspiration was *** passionate life squeezing screaming *** the thumping wall musicality of *** exhaustingly inventive sweaty and wet. I wanted to make it a senryu but for duality the female characterisation demanded two more lines each extending to seven syllables.   Arousing images captured her moaning splashing loneliness in unusual collocation. I was first excited by the placement of a hovering extended enjambement to give life to my final line, whilst also considering the satisfaction in using noisy mouthed rhythms.   I believe I easily hid the wet aroused context with a watery semantic field, that suggested she would choke and drown. So in my last line I had ‘pleasures’ as a cutting keriji to make clear the dominating ****** context, having previously used a preposition and determiner to maintain duality! Exhausted shivers in windowed naked currents unfolding sinking then surfing vital wavelets drowning screams - pleasures wet bite **
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May 2, 2010
May 2, 2010 at 7:10 PM UTC
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIQUE v SOMETHING WORSE
Hi, below I copy a humorous hiabun, which I shared as an exercise to mentor enquiring and inspired poets to learn, so they might adopt and try different techniques and then give critique together with awesome comments... Yes, I used the words *** ****** and **** for context the rest was left to an individual imagination as in good poetry! It included reflective commentary encompasses innocent classification terminology used in the critique, reading, examining, appreciating, understanding and writing of poetry for example: POETIC DEVICES (enjambement, duality, keriji, images, collocation, semantic, oxymoron, repetition, listing etc.), STORY (personification, characterisation, subject, context, voice etc.), IMAGERY (synaesthesia), STRUCTURE ( lineation, breaks, syntactic etc.), SOUNDS (syllables, rhyme, alliteration, pace, musicality, phrasing, beat, assonance, onomatopoeia, mouthed rhythms, patterned) and WORDS (preposition, determiner, verbs, adverbs, lexical, nouns, adjectives) used by poets, critics and academics... And here it is : **** tongue-in-cheek haibun - a reflective commentary on writing a popular tanka Eye lashes flicker a shared urgent interest parting - dancing smile My first inspiration was *** passionate life squeezing screaming *** the thumping wall musicality of *** exhaustingly inventive sweaty and wet. I wanted to make it a senryu but for duality the female characterisation demanded two more lines each extending to seven syllables.   Arousing images captured her moaning splashing loneliness in unusual collocation. I was first excited by the placement of a hovering extended enjambement to give life to my final line, whilst also considering the satisfaction in using noisy mouthed rhythms.   I believe I easily hid the wet aroused context with a watery semantic field, that suggested she would choke and drown. So in my last line I had ‘pleasures’ as a cutting keriji to make clear the dominating ****** context, having previously used a preposition and determiner to maintain duality! Exhausted shivers in windowed naked currents unfolding sinking then surfing vital wavelets drowning screams - pleasures wet bite **
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19
"come on, Forget-Me-Not!" flirted emerald Snapdragon, "tell me, what’s it like to have control over me, for once?" like fire, the cerulean bloom did crackle and hiss and walked away in a heated, dreadful silence. "why do you call me that?" asked uncertain Snapdragon, "tell me, why don’t you speak with me like you used to?" like salt, the windowed flame did flicker thrice - and was swept away by the threatening, stormy sea breeze. "please, my sun-kissed Fox," begged hesitant Snapdragon, "shower me in loving words like you did before." like rain in drought, the elusive creature did rarely show his face, if so, only for laughter’s sake, to break the horrid silence. "tell me, darling Forget-Me-Not," pleaded melancholy Snapdragon, "why don’t you love me anymore?" oh how she sobbed as, like childhood, her Snapdragon self become part of his past - he shrugged his pale, fragile shoulders, swaying in the salty breeze. "dear seaside Sunset," wrote tragic Snapdragon, "I am truly sorry, I miss our days in love. your presence filled a hole in me, now empty." but far too long in blinded oversight, Forget-Me-Not had stood, and much too late did adoring Snapdragon realise her mistake.
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Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 8:01 AM UTC
overheard: loveflowers from the bottom of the garden
*My first inspiration was *** passionate life squeezing screaming *** the thumping wall musicality of *** exhaustingly inventive sweaty and wet I wanted to make it a senryu but for duality the female characterisation demanded two more lines each extending to seven syllables Arousing images captured her moaning splashing loneliness in unusual collocation I was first excited by the placement of a hovering extended enjambement to give life to my final line whilst also considering the satisfaction in using noisy mouthed rhythms I believe I easily hid the wet aroused context with a watery semantic field suggesting she would choke and drown So in my last line I had ‘pleasures’ as a cutting keriji to make clear the dominating ****** context having previously used a preposition and determiner to maintain duality* **Exhausted shivers in windowed naked currents unfolding sinking then surfing vital wavelets drowning screams - pleasures wet bite** .
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Aug 5, 2010
Aug 5, 2010 at 6:29 PM UTC
Eye lashes flicker, a shared urgent interest, parting - dancing smile
In Vienna there are ten little girls, a shoulder for death to cry on, and a forest of dried pigeons. There is a fragment of tomorrow in the museum of winter frost. There is a thousand-windowed dance hall. Ay, ay, ay, ay! Take this close-mouthed waltz. Little waltz, little waltz, little waltz, of itself of death, and of brandy that dips its tail in the sea. I love you, I love you, I love you, with the armchair and the book of death, down the melancholy hallway, in the iris' darkened garret. Ay, ay, ay, ay! Take this broken-waisted waltz. In Vienna there are four mirrors in which your mouth and the echoes play. There is a death for piano that paints little boys blue. There are beggars on the roof. There are fresh garlands of tears. Ay, ay, ay, ay! Take this waltz that dies in my arms. Because I love you, I love you, my love, in the attic wherethe children play, dreaming ancient lights of Hungary through the noise, the balmy afternoon, seeing sheep and irises of snow through teh dark silence of your forehead. Ay, ay, ay, ay! Take this "I will always love you" waltz. In Vienna I will dance with you in a costume with a river's head. See how the hyacinths line my banks! I will leave my mouth between your legs, my soul in photographs and lilies, and in the dark wake of your footsteps, my love, my love, I will have to leave violin and grave, the waltzing ribbons.
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3.5k
Little Viennese Waltz
Eye lashes flicker a shared urgent interest parting - dancing smile **My first inspiration was *** passionate life squeezing screaming *** the thumping wall musicality of *** exhaustingly inventive sweaty and wet. I wanted to make it a senryu but for duality the female characterisation demanded two more lines each extending to seven syllables.   Arousing images captured her moaning splashing loneliness in unusual collocation. I was first excited by the placement of a hovering extended enjambement to give life to my final line, whilst also considering the satisfaction in using noisy mouthed rhythms.   I believe I easily hid the wet aroused context with a watery semantic field, that suggested she would choke and drown. So in my last line I had ‘pleasures’ as a cutting keriji to make clear the dominating ****** context, having previously used a preposition and determiner to maintain duality!** Exhausted shivers in windowed naked currents unfolding sinking then surfing vital wavelets drowning screams - pleasures wet bite .
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May 3, 2010
May 3, 2010 at 11:25 AM UTC
....tongue in my cheek
thoughts are transmitted via translucent dragonfly mosquitos from the angeled mountains of an ancient africa to the plagued fountains of a new chimerica miracles of disease and possibility in this naked play they bear fruitwords juicing gifts of malleable meaning clothes for being or chains, chainings and so you are water and messaging carried all from timelands so distant & vague you are forever a vague and distant stranger to your self. when a man or woman is cut wide, and deep enough they bleed despair and with the desperate drops flows all the thought force of all the riversrunnininthabellyod'earth. in these despedrops the flickerin' reflexions of starbirds turn banal to beauty meaning dangerously alive in them the wombman is mirrored countless countless times each a split second in their life a minute detail in their endless skies. today i made upon leaving home a wish that an image would come to stand frozen across my peepholepupil of what it will not matter; and that some one, whomever, a dancer, a *** would come to stand staring just intentsly enough to have this moist unmatter touch to fill their own eye. this has all happened, just now, a blink before our ending - all of it, together, when you told me ah feigned casualty: it's the sweetness that kills you or was it yr perfect just the way you are. at the last i followed your passing with my gaze as your wake the most intensfool one i could ever make as your backs became horizons i turned tilting to the old borderline it stood as ever sealing the sea - sealing a sea that heeeaved against the plentyfullpollutionoftheshorelinepowerplantplantation inc smoke sky beyond a wind oh my window, ours the wind wowed with that old border time i saw the blue behemeoth spotted four white dots in crescent form and you see, looking through thus windowed i simply could not say were they sailboats, fallenserapheathers or reflexions of those electricpearlights upon waxfloressence from the waning walls of the halls you just walked out of time all around me wail the waking walls of a maze my hazedazedgaze your never.
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Sep 21, 2009
Sep 21, 2009 at 12:39 AM UTC
5 4 nothing
thoughts are transmitted via translucent dragonfly mosquitos from the angeled mountains of an ancient africa to the plagued fountains of a new chimerica miracles of disease and possibility in this naked play they bear fruitwords juicing gifts of malleable meaning clothes for being or chains, chainings and so you are water and messaging carried all from timelands so distant & vague you are forever a vague and distant stranger to your self. when a man or woman is cut wide, and deep enough they bleed despair and with the desperate drops flows all the thought force of all the riversrunnininthabellyod'earth. in these despedrops the flickerin' reflexions of starbirds turn banal to beauty meaning dangerously alive in them the wombman is mirrored countless countless times each a split second in their life a minute detail in their endless skies. today i made upon leaving home a wish that an image would come to stand frozen across my peepholepupil of what it will not matter; and that some one, whomever, a dancer, a *** would come to stand staring just intentsly enough to have this moist unmatter touch to fill their own eye. this has all happened, just now, a blink before our ending - all of it, together, when you told me ah feigned casualty: it's the sweetness that kills you or was it yr perfect just the way you are. at the last i followed your passing with my gaze as your wake the most intensfool one i could ever make as your backs became horizons i turned tilting to the old borderline it stood as ever sealing the sea - sealing a sea that heeeaved against the plentyfullpollutionoftheshorelinepowerplantplantation inc smoke sky beyond a wind oh my window, ours the wind wowed with that old border time i saw the blue behemeoth spotted four white dots in crescent form and you see, looking through thus windowed i simply could not say were they sailboats, fallenserapheathers or reflexions of those electricpearlights upon waxfloressence from the waning walls of the halls you just walked out of time all around me wail the waking walls of a maze my hazedazedgaze your never.
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66
She never minded the scars I carved. She'd beg me for more, and as her wrists were tied in knots. I'd make sure another night was never forgot. Sure, she'd struggle, much as any of us must. But she was lurching toward me wild and bewildered such. She would calm as I tended wound and her panting below became a parting of bloom. Springtime crept in like a slow, low light on a horizon only meant to be seen by us two. Her struggle turned to sound and her mouth stuffed still. Her lids heavy hiding stained glass eye windowed sill. Her knees buckled with belt tied firm to keep her tight. Her smile crept wide as tongue wetted what kept words inside. Her drool ran and stained our sheets, her eyes filled with tears which ran down cheeks. Pleasing pleadings strung out by Morse code taps of her feet. She was more than a canvas, she became my tapestry.
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Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 3:23 AM UTC
Ambient Sexuality
Exhausted shivers in windowed naked currents unfolding sinking then surfing vital wavelets drowning screams - pleasures wet bite .
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Apr 23, 2010
Apr 23, 2010 at 10:02 AM UTC
WetEroticTanka
The silenced weep on pastel colors While rainbows pass through windowed thoughts Deep within my mind is a trail leading to a universe Stellar happiness draped upon rivers of joy Going out on a limb, to jump from dreams Onto pages of hopes written ravishingly Imagination runs away from me wildly Remaining intact with its childlike ways Jumping into puddles of mirages Swimming in pools of fantasy Hallucinating on what may come Imaginary imagery dancing upon moonbeams Jarred in glass jars held upon windowed shelves Closing eyes tightly around the glimpses of sweet serenades While musical tones create beautifully painted canvases Once blank without any reflection Mirrored images of the future grants introduction While paintbrushes meet color tones in seduction Secluded rendezvous leading into ****** sensation Alluring lust into temptation, leading away from separation An everlasting desire of dreams entering reality When morality grows a deepened mortality A work of art is born on vacant sheets As contentment drives on desolate streets Harmonious melodies playing through radio beats Creating muffled brightness through dusk’s doorway Sun shining in through my mind in a magical way A beginning to a brand new day Has started, Today!
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Apr 9, 2010
Apr 9, 2010 at 2:58 PM UTC
Phantasmal ******
Autumn was an old Viennese street held up in sacrifice to the sky, With burnt-song offerings that still see through the clouds, as they see through you. His was cobbler craft of reed-winded flame for the foot in tune, Amid the outsnuffed shopkeepers’ lights and the candlesmoke of midnight hours,   Pulsing above the inner heart of the Ringstrasse Of brass signs and paving stones, misted and mute. His was the candelabra of wick-notes Wanded through the windowed rooms of forested night. His were those woods filled with doorways, bookcases, and stairs And everything dim and warm with people, no longer there. ********* The winter sunlight played across the keyboard of crypted windows, And in the muted under-roofs of ice and snow, On one window, like a hand in whole rest, The caramelized glass swallowed the flame-image of the stray redbird And the black carriage wheels that passed. In the long hallway of the Viennese flat, One candle remained lit in the mouth of song.
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Jun 20, 2019
Jun 20, 2019 at 6:43 PM UTC
The Death of Mozart
fresh orange clementines on a white kitchen counter, incongruous with a windowed view of white winter's barometric pressures. eye illusions, making no sense, like me drinking ice coffee in NYC on New Year's Eve. New Years Eve too, a nonsensical notation, an illusory line, imposed upon us by calendar salesmen and astronomers, for profit and seals of good timekeeping. There is no solstice, no verifiable, demonstrable, celestial line of demarcation, just a box on a calendar of man-made paper, man-dating fresh thinking, de-man-ding, we gaily clad ourselves in suits of optimistic armor, heavy with good cheer, so much so, we list to one side under a burden of greater expectations the starting line is worldwide, continental. a ball drops to signal the beginning of a new human race to another artifice in future time. with inebriated staggering starts over staggered time zones, thus creating a continuous, rolling wave-eve of resolutions. I say to myself, what the heck, why not! if the whole world must share but one global illusion, this one, fresh starts of fresh hearts, is not a bad one, maybe, perhaps, as good as it gets?
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Jan 1, 2014
Jan 1, 2014 at 5:53 PM UTC
A Global Illusion
1 Late afternoon leaving the city the bus route intersects the terraced houses, row upon row: right to the valley floor, left to wooded heights. In a bay-windowed room a child sits at a table beachcombing the net. Tea is past and there is gentle talk of volcanoes , the Verungas, and gorillas in the midst. Outside, and a floor below, a garden nestles into the dusk, a blackbird settles itself with song. Later, at the same table. there is a silent grace. A shy five year old in scary pyjamas comes to say goodnight. For supper: a goat’s cheese flan, a simple salad, pink wine, strong coffee. On the mantelpiece: the familiar jumble of cards and photos, a collage of family faces distant shores. On the walls: grandmother’s woven rug, her grand-daughter’s textiled strata, an embroidered geology. 2 The next day, so bright and clear, the garden bench is warm by ten. We sit surrounded by the evidence of this growing season: emergent plants, the possibility of fruit, even declarations of vegetables. As ideas flow across cake and coffee so the shadows move, shaping depths, enriching tones on greys, within greens. In the midday sun, the garden becomes a wild tracery of lines as perspectives distort, corrupt, thicken . . . and space opens everywhere: foliage as yet transparent no shelter to stalk and stem. Their very arteries revealed, plants bask in the fragile heat of ‘just’ Spring.
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Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 4:58 AM UTC
Sense of Place: Spring
Keep up thy vigil, dimpled shepherdess! Gift night a lantern light to guide lost stars Strayed from the flock, treaty with tenderness Soft grazing grounds in heaven's nebulas, Look low for lone stars fallen from on high, Feasting on kindling tree-tops laced in cloaks Of lily blossomed snowy dew drop sighs Billowed from scattered cushion clouded smokes, Look further still beneath the ice-fringed eaves Of gold-spun thatched roofs dotted down the lane, Footfall echoes stolen by kingly thieves Triumphantly majestic in their rain: Look last for shadow framed in windowed light Keeping thy lonely vigil through the night.
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Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015 at 8:36 AM UTC
The Moon Shepherdess
A drink to my heartbreak, A toast to this despair, The break of a fall, The stunt of the dare. She was a beautiful mistake, A princess of the dawn, For this heart was unaware, Her love couldn't be won. The injustice of this tale, Served by my soul The ships have all sailed, While I am alone at the shore. The claps of the audience, Don't muse me with awe, The wind of the soul, Don't move me this late, She was a sun in the sky, The gift of the infinite, While I am a dust in this land, The enslaved seconds of the minute. But then I realised, I never told her how I feel, I cried in this foolishness, The hidden truth as the shades conceal. But I fear she will say no, No to my faith. I was a feather in this storm, A green leaf as the autumn bathe. Why the existence of pain in love? Isn't it supposed to be a victory, Well I was made a fool, The heartbreak of the century. So I ran with this fear, That this story would be of pain, For I confessed her the words, While she was dancing in the rain. And when she was about to proclaim I woke to this windowed sunrise, Shaping the shadows at the ceiling, To see it was a beautiful dream.
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Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 12:40 PM UTC
A drink to my heartbreak
heres to another night spent writhing about in bed like a serpent in the vast cosmic ocean bearing its fangs at each tiny source of light a plethora of thoughts come to mind right when the head hits the soft stack of pillows the trees and the leaves rustle as if sandpaper being scraped against a human face and it leaves behind a deep unhealing **** that will last till the end of each sleepless night be healed by the time the head leaves its nightly resting place to go out and take on the world and the wait for the endless repetitive cycle to begin will begin once again trudging through miles of globulous bile will again have the same lasting effect as that of half eaten railway platforms and ground up browser tabs elongated letters as they appear on the windowed capillaries of one's ignited violin repossessed keyboards that belonged to aspiring writers who could never fill a page with words that failed to even capture the imagination of the wittiest troll by the bridge more words will flow through the sphincters present in half alive lighters it seems this one needs to rhyme, so raise one to the brave baby fighters streamlined thoughts finally arise as the mind clears up a little here's another rhyme, this one might come off as a bit brittle henceforth thoughts shall be placed with greater precision there are ants residing in the laptop; sleeping with the laptop, a great decision back into the depths of insanity shall we delve again sleeping with a colony of ants equals terrible, piercing pain
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Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 6:27 PM UTC
Sleeping with a colony of ants.
heres to another night spent writhing about in bed like a serpent in the vast cosmic ocean bearing its fangs at each tiny source of light a plethora of thoughts come to mind right when the head hits the soft stack of pillows the trees and the leaves rustle as if sandpaper being scraped against a human face and it leaves behind a deep unhealing **** that will last till the end of each sleepless night be healed by the time the head leaves its nightly resting place to go out and take on the world and the wait for the endless repetitive cycle to begin will begin once again trudging through miles of globulous bile will again have the same lasting effect as that of half eaten railway platforms and ground up browser tabs elongated letters as they appear on the windowed capillaries of one's ignited violin repossessed keyboards that belonged to aspiring writers who could never fill a page with words that failed to even capture the imagination of the wittiest troll by the bridge more words will flow through the sphincters present in half alive lighters it seems this one needs to rhyme, so raise one to the brave baby fighters streamlined thoughts finally arise as the mind clears up a little here's another rhyme, this one might come off as a bit brittle henceforth thoughts shall be placed with greater precision there are ants residing in the laptop; sleeping with the laptop, a great decision back into the depths of insanity shall we delve again sleeping with a colony of ants equals terrible, piercing pain
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20
How cool I was with undercut pretending then Mohawk playing rugby pretending brunching with fab hipsters pretending enjoying arcane debates about particle physics pretending and social justice pretending loving tall beautiful black boy pretending and playing Tetris til dawn or napping on the couch pretending in fashionable Old City coworking space pretending cuddled alone as rain struck clear panes windowed walls facade pretending that was my life once, author in a zine pretending, cheese day denizen pretending amid all that a sprawling vacuum of identity pretending and isolation pretending despite lunching with a priest I met pretending online or long, meandering walks to the park pretending with Mr. Wiggles and biking up Passyunk pretending through the market that smelled of live chickens and grease bemoaning my loneliness pretending at row-house holiday parties hosted by midlife fairies & queers pretending with dreams with drugs pretending alcohol *** and roof deck skyline views pretending pop up gardens live music filling midsummer streets pretending same streets filled with seasonal dirt artisanal water pretending bottle cap eyes cigarette **** nose garbage mouth snowman melting away pretending going the way of brotherly love. How cool I was inhabiting my urban life pretending I was there.
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Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 6:16 AM UTC
Pretending
The elevator opened on the 46th floor, to a small foyer and one plain, grey door The door opened and a young girl, 10ish, in a blue, polo, tennis dress, said, “Hi! I’m Karen, you must be Anais. Will is around here somewhere. Aren’t you pretty, though? You go to school with Lisa? No wonder Will likes you.” She skippingly ushered me from a bright, windowed, off-white, staircase entryway, into a deep-red, mahogany paneled library. A persian cat was soon underfoot, purring and winding around my legs.”That’s Misha,” Karen said, “just shoo her away if you don’t like cats.” I stooped down to pet Misha who eagerly offered herself to be petted and admired. As I stroked her charcoal fur, Karen said, “Let me get Will,” as she scampered off. A gold framed, impressionistic painting, pin-lit in bright crystalline light, hung over a fireplace. In the painting, two girls, in summer hats bright with startling red bows and yellow flowers, were sharing a book. The colors were rich, deep and swirling - it looked very much like a Renoir (I know my French artists). He’d done a whole “two girls” series. I drew closer - it wasn’t a print. Though dazed by the opulence, I hadn’t missed what Karen had said. Will liked me. I longed to interrogate her about how exactly she knew Will liked me, and what form, exactly, Will’s liking took. I know Will and Lisa (who would be joining us in a minute) are just friends. Not that it matters, we’re heading back to New Haven later - but Karen’s statements were capable of activating a girl's guy-dar. Karen, wearing socks but no shoes, came to a sliding halt, on the wooden floor, by grabbing the door frame to stop an otherwise complete slide into the library. “You guys are going to the Ritz for lunch?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder, in a way that indicated that she knew the answer quite well. The Ritz Carlton is a block away and our mission was to grab the food and bring it back here to eat. “Mind if I join?” she said, before I could answer her first question, all wide-eyed, blinking impatience. “I don’t mind at ALL.” I said, Karen whooped and was off again down the hall. “I’M COMING TOO!” she yelled. I chuckled, knowingly - I’ve been there - I’m a little sister too.
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Nov 27, 2021
Nov 27, 2021 at 12:41 PM UTC
picking up lunch
The elevator opened on the 46th floor, to a small foyer and one plain, grey door The door opened and a young girl, 10ish, in a blue, polo, tennis dress, said, “Hi! I’m Karen, you must be Anais. Will is around here somewhere. Aren’t you pretty, though? You go to school with Lisa? No wonder Will likes you.” She skippingly ushered me from a bright, windowed, off-white, staircase entryway, into a deep-red, mahogany paneled library. A persian cat was soon underfoot, purring and winding around my legs.”That’s Misha,” Karen said, “just shoo her away if you don’t like cats.” I stooped down to pet Misha who eagerly offered herself to be petted and admired. As I stroked her charcoal fur, Karen said, “Let me get Will,” as she scampered off. A gold framed, impressionistic painting, pin-lit in bright crystalline light, hung over a fireplace. In the painting, two girls, in summer hats bright with startling red bows and yellow flowers, were sharing a book. The colors were rich, deep and swirling - it looked very much like a Renoir (I know my French artists). He’d done a whole “two girls” series. I drew closer - it wasn’t a print. Though dazed by the opulence, I hadn’t missed what Karen had said. Will liked me. I longed to interrogate her about how exactly she knew Will liked me, and what form, exactly, Will’s liking took. I know Will and Lisa (who would be joining us in a minute) are just friends. Not that it matters, we’re heading back to New Haven later - but Karen’s statements were capable of activating a girl's guy-dar. Karen, wearing socks but no shoes, came to a sliding halt, on the wooden floor, by grabbing the door frame to stop an otherwise complete slide into the library. “You guys are going to the Ritz for lunch?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder, in a way that indicated that she knew the answer quite well. The Ritz Carlton is a block away and our mission was to grab the food and bring it back here to eat. “Mind if I join?” she said, before I could answer her first question, all wide-eyed, blinking impatience. “I don’t mind at ALL.” I said, Karen whooped and was off again down the hall. “I’M COMING TOO!” she yelled. I chuckled, knowingly - I’ve been there - I’m a little sister too.
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Your windowed soul speaks leagues of numbered tears as your heart beats beats beats, and the tint of your eyes shows the truth of your lies, every time your half-crooked smile hides the words that you speak speak speak.
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Oct 19, 2011
Oct 19, 2011 at 6:07 PM UTC
Hollow
_Dream your life in watercolours, Live your life in oils, Frame your canvases with time and distance; Hang each by a silver thread, In a windowed gallery of memories, Exhibit often and without discrimination; Celebrate the beauty in your clumsiest brushwork, Accept the imperfections in your mastery, Reshape your truths, as light plays and colour transforms._
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Sep 11, 2019
Sep 11, 2019 at 10:31 PM UTC
Gallery
A composition, bordered by brown track, white shelter and yellow line; off-white, smear-windowed building (background)                                   hexagonal floors, brutalist mandala; triangle across the frame, a ***** polluted structure                                   one half of a red cross logo, boarded windows                                   - chipboard, corrugation, MDF; and Southern Rail green is grass in the lower foreground                                   arrows, words, people.
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Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 10:34 AM UTC
View from Platform Four
~ bits and pieces, lines and creases, dusty shelves of storied past; where could-haves turned should-haves, make half-lives gone by. haunt in our reticence, expressed in our sigh; they hide in our silence, betrayed by our tears, from missed opportunities      down through the years. this is no stroll o’er memory’s lane, but a pot-holed, hard-roll on a boulevard unnamed,      where deepest regrets           must defend against shame. ~ i make my peace by drawing a line, before it can fade shifting with time. i say *“enough! this far and no more!”* i give it my heel and walk out that door. past the garden, past the fences, to the edge of my mind, resolve saying, “goodbye”         to this pain i have known. then for reasons unfathomed i turn at the bend, to see what i'll miss as if that place were my friend, yet that house where i lived so long and knew well, was standing no longer, up in smoke, gone in flames,      now just ashes and bricks           are all that remained. ~ so homeless i felt, with no place to return. no basement to bury the ghosts of my past; no attic to wander, no hallways to creep, no corners to ponder, no front porch to weep, lost without home,      now no pillow to sleep. “please turn around,” spoke, a voice on the breeze “there's a new life ahead” and then, to my relief, *“you're not homeless, my son; you’ve a new windowed view! square your shoulders to the pathway, see the journey anew! in promising thoughts so hopefully wrought of brand new can-be’s that only dreamers can see these, are your new life you're not abandoned, but free.      let regrets turn to fuel           build steam from this fire.”* ~ as i turned back to thank the voice offering these words i found no sage of advice but here’s what i heard. *"offer thanks to your own heart, to strength buried within. the matches lay dormant ’til your heart found its stremgth. the mere act of leaving was the spark for your fire;      for in striking your new path           your past built your pyre.”* ~ *post script. after much stirring, much wrestling, we are now with anticipations imagining what will change as we light the fire.  i’m excited about the possibilities as we let go.*
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Jan 30, 2016
Jan 30, 2016 at 5:17 PM UTC
anew!
~ bits and pieces, lines and creases, dusty shelves of storied past; where could-haves turned should-haves, make half-lives gone by. haunt in our reticence, expressed in our sigh; they hide in our silence, betrayed by our tears, from missed opportunities      down through the years. this is no stroll o’er memory’s lane, but a pot-holed, hard-roll on a boulevard unnamed,      where deepest regrets           must defend against shame. ~ i make my peace by drawing a line, before it can fade shifting with time. i say *“enough! this far and no more!”* i give it my heel and walk out that door. past the garden, past the fences, to the edge of my mind, resolve saying, “goodbye”         to this pain i have known. then for reasons unfathomed i turn at the bend, to see what i'll miss as if that place were my friend, yet that house where i lived so long and knew well, was standing no longer, up in smoke, gone in flames,      now just ashes and bricks           are all that remained. ~ so homeless i felt, with no place to return. no basement to bury the ghosts of my past; no attic to wander, no hallways to creep, no corners to ponder, no front porch to weep, lost without home,      now no pillow to sleep. “please turn around,” spoke, a voice on the breeze “there's a new life ahead” and then, to my relief, *“you're not homeless, my son; you’ve a new windowed view! square your shoulders to the pathway, see the journey anew! in promising thoughts so hopefully wrought of brand new can-be’s that only dreamers can see these, are your new life you're not abandoned, but free.      let regrets turn to fuel           build steam from this fire.”* ~ as i turned back to thank the voice offering these words i found no sage of advice but here’s what i heard. *"offer thanks to your own heart, to strength buried within. the matches lay dormant ’til your heart found its stremgth. the mere act of leaving was the spark for your fire;      for in striking your new path           your past built your pyre.”* ~ *post script. after much stirring, much wrestling, we are now with anticipations imagining what will change as we light the fire.  i’m excited about the possibilities as we let go.*
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