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Strangerous Aug 2022
One windless evening the bass started biting
just before sunset as I glided along
the bayou in a pirogue with a ******
of the paddle here and there for direction.

I was casting a topwater up against
the bank among the cypress trunks and stumps
and overhanging limbs and shrubs and twitching
and popping the bait until the fish struck.

To see and hear and feel the violent burst
of each strike and to set the hook firmly
in each jaw and each battle kept me out
until the mosquitoes and the gator came.

At first a bumpy head at least a foot wide
and three feet long with big shiny black eyes
inched toward the pirogue and me as if we
were just what he had in mind for dinner.

I dropped my rod and thought I’d better paddle
fast and hard before Wally got too close
but Wally sensed panic and to my horror
I saw the swish of his tail fifteen feet back.

The gator accelerated smooth and quick
and locked its gaze upon the very spot
the paddle broke water to push me away
as the jaws snapped shut and cracked it in half.

I slid away watching as the gator shook
its monstrous head free of the broken splinter
and I realized now he’d be coming again
for me down the bayou with half a paddle.

The pirogue rocked on the wave Wally made
during all the commotion and sure enough
he came again stalking the little boat
now stalled and adrift so I had to act fast.

I untied and lifted my stringer of bass
gasping and wet like a shiny green fleece
and hefted and hurled it aiming precisely
at the slashing jaws of the reptile beast.

The gator struck at the fish with a splash
of his big toothy head and chomped down on three
huge bass and swallowed them whole in one gulp
then snapped up three more that were still on the string.

So Wally was happy for now as the sun
went down and I wondered how to get back
to the dock half a mile away in the dark
with Wally nearby and perhaps hungry yet.

Then I got an idea and picked up my rod
and cast the old topwater past Wally’s head
and chugged it back popping in front of his face
where soon he attacked it and hooked himself good.

Wally went down with a **** and a swirl
and made such a wave I grabbed the boat rail
with one hand while holding onto the rod
which bent almost double as the line stretched tight.

The pirogue took off like a rocket boat
as Wally swam up the bayou to flee
the pressure and drag and the alien hook
underwater and then on top with me.

In no time I neared the dock in the dark
and slackened the line until Wally shook free
then glided right up to the dock and *******
and got out fishless but at least in one piece.
© 1997 by Jack Morris
Marshal Gebbie Jan 2023
It was with considerable sadness to learn of the recent passing of Bass local, Wally Marks.

For many years Wally operated plant-stalls at South Gippsland markets...including Wonthaggi and Grantville. He specialised in the bargain-basement bush business.

He was pushing 90, near deaf, failing eyesight, and could barely stay upright in a stiff breeze. In his lifetime he had the smarts and energy to make a bob or two. So, grafting-away at his advanced age was purely optional. It obviously gave his life real meaning. He enjoyed meeting people, having a chat, dispensing advice, and transacting. It was his opportunity to socially-connect on his terms. Moreover, he was very driven in his endeavours  – perhaps the legacy of a pretty tough childhood back in England.

Inside his living room there was a dust-laden photo of a remarkably handsome pair on their wedding day. His better-half had died long before. Muttering under his breath he once declared this had coincided with the time ‘everything started to go wrong’. However, he was the most stoic of individuals, and not prone to self-pity. His therapy was to busy himself out of his often self-induced loneliness. This was all the more remarkable given significant physical disabilities.

Outdoors, he staggered around like a cat on hot coals. When the weather improved he went native, un-self-consciously sporting nothing more than an unflattering, oversized pair of underpants. Sometimes even less. This gave the rather surreal impression of being in the presence of a venerable Indian mystic. Hobbling along, he would grasp at every approaching physical support within arms length. He would seed, plant and propagate, by which time there was no remaining energy or inclination for the more mundane task of tidying up the accumulating crap. Or perhaps he simply confined it to his peripheral vision.

Consistent with his exceptional stubbornness and independence, any attempt to assist him clear the mounting backlog was met with the most emphatic refusal. He liked it just the way it was, and didn't give a hoot what others thought.

He did not ask for any favours, nor shy away from speaking his mind. Ordinarily, compromise was not the subject of negotiation. Conversely, he was very forthcoming and helpful with advice to his customers. There was a soft side to him, but it could be eclipsed by his exceptional mental toughness, independence and defiance.

Somehow, he would load up his van every weekend and drive to the market de-jour. One expects he was sweating on the advent of driverless vehicles to enable him to continue for all eternity.

Wally had no compelling need to endure all this, and in reality no longer had the physical capacity to do so. However, he purposefully and courageously willed his way through the process until the day his spirit was snatched away. Snatched, but by no means meekly surrendered. His life therefore was one of purposeful struggle. Which made it full of meaning, or conversely as meaningless as those drawn to the fervent building of elaborate sand castles at low tide. Take your pick.

It may be argued his life could have been more comfortably spent. But comfort was not in his lexicon. He was not your born-again Ikea man, and clearly did not treat his home as a pristine retreat from the minor calamity outdoors. Indeed, his inside and outside worlds were indistinguishable, even for his beloved four-legged friends Curly and cat. Socially, this was obviously problematic, but it did not seem to bother him in the least.

If cleanliness is next to Godliness, Wally was certainly not currying favour with Him upstairs for more advantageous treatment in the next life. He could have received any amount of more earthly assistance, but he steadfastly refused. Indoors, he gave the rather melancholy impression of a man defiantly protecting the spirit of his dearly-departed from the unwanted incursions of latter-day intruders. If she was not there to manage it, then  no-one would, not even Wally himself. In so doing, he forged an eerie symmetry between the slow decline in his physical state and his chosen surroundings.

Wally was a man who ran his own race. Unlike most, he was not in the least shaped by the whims and expectations of others. If the measure of a man were the lasting impressions left in the memories of his contemporaries, whether favourable or otherwise, then Wally’s life was a significant triumph.

RIP Walter.  

Pete Granger DDA, Tenby Point, Victoria, Australia
A colourful account of the passing of a local legend.
Written with a high degree of passion by an old ****** Agricultural College colleague of mine, a Brother of 57 years standing, Peter (Piddles) Granger.
Piddles and I spent two years locked together as 24 hour classmates in house. We ate together, studied together, played Australian Rules football together, chased the girls, laughed together, cried together....and we graduated together.
Iraira Cedillo Mar 2014
We heard Wally wail through the whole
neighborhood,
as his mother whaled Wally as hard as she could,
She made Wally holler, she made Wally whoop,
for what he had spelled in the alphabet soup
By Iraira cedillo
Plissé follow me. Will make u more poems
Alyanne Cooper May 2014
He was born in 1924
And at 17 went to war.
Parachuted over Sicily,
Wounded, sent home to live in civility.

One day he met a Ryder,
Tall and elegant and regal.
Married her and made a home,
Though the front lawn lacked a gnome.

He died before I could really know him.
But what I remember is this:
His heart was good and full of love,
Tender, strong and not at all rough.

He pulled quarters from my ears
Whenever I saw him.
He and Shadow walked the beach
For miles before a swim.
He smoked cigars and drank beer
While playing cribbage.
And he was my favorite person
When I was four years old.
Butch Decatoria Apr 2017
I barely know much about him,
Just another homeless man
I give my aluminum cans (minus the pop)
"Where's Wallace?"
Got Glad bags full of tin
Look for his shopping carts
If you connect the dots
Within its circumference
You may find him
in the shade
Or sleeping on the lawn
Outside the closed apartment gates
Or between the carnaceria's walls
Alley cat black
A good guy at that...

He's one of many
The growing crew of indigents
Nothing new to city streets
I met the semi permanent fixtures
The regulars that camp out
Here on the boulevard, near the Strip
Know them by name
But barely know who they are
I try not to get that close

Because you know what they say
You feed one pigeon
They all flock at once,
And Hitchcock's horrors are
My own,
Nowadays when it's a luxury
To have a home,
Mine is precarious
We all protect our own,
That's what they say...

Wallace mostly dives alone
In the darkness of night
Or the end of days
When they throw away the food
Rules of expiration dates

With what I give, it's always fresh,
Perishable even for microwaves
Those convenient stores that let him in
But he's burnt most bridges
With his angry mouth
"****** it up" dropping F bombs
Even half asleep
I barely understand him
But I begin to when his wife
Visits the prison of his concrete streets
Brings him the warmth from home
Her petite loyalty bigger than any shame
I notice that she doesn't notice
The looks of blame
From the eyes of disapproving
Bigots and creeps

Wallace becomes someone else
As they sit together
It's more than just being fed
It's an intimate meal.
(there's tenderness I see)

I couldn't come near to understand
How and why he lives
This way, under this desert city's iron sky,
What a fool he is for romancing the night
Collecting minutiae treasure
All with broken worth
A vagabond crusade with the finger to the world,

I can only hope for the best
I have no opinion

But should he decide  
To wake up or realize
Such folly of a life
I say, it's better to grow and get old
Together with his wife

But then again
I barely know much about Wally
Or how the streets are calling

Away untoward
Those nights that're howling
These streets he's prowling
Much ado about

Wally.
Grahame Jun 2014
The Black Faerie beats her sable wings,
And rises into the dark and midnight sky.
Tonight she needs a ******’s soul to live,
Or else tonight a ****** she must die.

Tonight the dark moon rises in the sky,
’Twill be the time the black arts they hold sway,
And so tonight a ******’s fate is sealed,
If the Black Faerie has her way.

She rises high, unseen by mortal eye,
And casts around, a ******’s scent to find.
She starts, and checks, then starts and checks again,
She’s found a ******’s scent borne on the wind.

Carefully she follows the ætherial trail,
Flying against the wind to trace its source.
She hopes, tonight, successful she will be,
And is determined to stay on her course.

After flying for some time she finds
The scent is getting stronger on the wind,
She’s slowly drawing closer to her prey,
And trusts, soon, the ****** she will find.

When then she sees a hut down in the wood,
Invitingly, a window’s open wide,
The scent is overpoweringly now intense,
So, silently, through the opening she glides.

She spies a truckle bed next to the wall,
A young lady soundly sleeps within.
The Black Faerie hovers o’er the maid,
And senses the dormant ****** power within.

The lady on her back asleep does lie,
Clad only in a white nightgown.
The bedclothes, in night’s warmth pushed aside,
On her breast, the faerie settles down.

She waits a moment listening; all is calm.
And then, before the fay can make a move,
A bright white light enters in the room.
A sparkling fairy’s fluttering above.

“What mischief are you up to now?” she asks.
The Black Faerie’s rooted to the spot.
She’s never seen this beauteous creature before,
And knows not what powers she might have got.

“And who are you?” the black fay asks in turn,
“You cannot be a denizen of the night,
You are much too beautiful for that,
You’re so gracile, and you’re much too bright!”

“Indeed, I am a fairy of the day,
I help the flowers to bud, bloom and blow.
I’d curled up to sleep, inside a rose,
When dark and silent past me you did go.”

“And you, in turn, so vagiley you flew,
Darting through the bosky wood with ease.
My heart stood still, my breath caught in my throat,
I’d never seen such a sight to please.”

“The other fairies of the day I’ve known,
Are bright and gay, and flit from flower to flower.
They idle, and they gossip, and they’re dull,
And I cannot stand them more ower.”

“So when I saw you flying past tonight,
Looking mean and moody dressed in black,
I just knew that I must follow after,
And hoped that you might lead me to the craic.”

The Black Faerie recovers from her fright,
The night’s the time her powers are at their best.
She decides to try to play it cool,
So sits herself down on the ******’s breast.

“Tonight’s the anniversary of my birth,
Which was a year ago at the dark moon.”
The Black Faerie then continued thus,
“And to prevent my death I must act soon.”

“The reason why I am a Faerie Black,
Which I believe is rare in faerykind,
Is because the dark moon was at zenith,
Which caused a problem with my mother’s mind.”

“This caused me, when born, to be jet black,
Which wasn’t any fault of my own.
The day fairies cast us out from them,
And thus, we had to live all alone.”

“Although I tried my best to keep her whole,
Slowly, my dear mother pined away.
And then she told me, something she must tell,
As wasting on her deathbed she lay.”

“If a ******’s life I did live,
Then indeed, a ****** must die.
And before the dark moon’s anniversary,
To get this matter sorted, I should try.”

Because tonight’s the night of the dark moon,
I have traced this ****** to her bed,
Now what my mother told me I must do
I will, and soon this ****** shall be dead.”

“Oh no! Please!” the sparkling fairy said,
“Surely there must be another way!
Instead of sacrificing this lady,
Take my life, I am a ****** fay.”

“Would you freely give your life for hers?”
The Black Fay asked, jumping to her feet.
“To save this lady’s life I surely will,”
The sparkling fairy said, “’Tis only meet.”

“Since her parents died, she’s all alone,
Living in this wild forest drear.
Despite that, she still has many friends,
A lot of wild animals come here.”

“To the sick and injured she gives succour,
And tends the crops and plants round here as well.
In fact, she does more than many fairies,
And has helped the flower’s numbers swell.”

The sparkling fay continued, “Oh Black Faerie,
Please don’t do this vile and evil deed.
As I’ve asked, please take my life instead,
Then, in time, I’m sure you’ll get your meed.”

The sparkling fairy then fell down sobbing,
In between the sleeping lady’s breast,
While the Black Faerie stood there sternly,
Considering the sparkling fay’s request.

The sparkling fairy’s sobbing soon grew louder,
And with her hands and feet she beat the maid.
She’d forgotten whereabouts they were,
She was at once both sad and afraid.

The Black Faerie’s voice also grew louder,
The sparkling fay to cow, and make shut up,
When suddenly, to both of their surprises,
The ****** maid awoke, and then sat up.

Both the fairies froze, and tumbled downwards,
And came to rest in the lady’s lap.
She grasped the Black Faerie very firmly,
Her hand, round the Black Fay’s arms, did wrap.

Sitting straight, the lady then spake thus,
“For a Faerie Black, you’re not too bright.
Although you heard what your mother said,
I don’t believe you understood her right.”

The lady’s other hand was much more gentle,
She held the sparkling fairy to her breast,
And softly said, “Don’t worry, it’s now over,
Try to calm yourself, and have a rest.”

“I have been awake for some time now,
Woken by your voices in my ear.
However I kept my eyes tightly closed,
So your conversation I should hear.”

To the sparkling fairy then she spoke,
“Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I heard you offer yourself in my place,
I appreciate you trying to take my part.”

“As for you, you wretched little faerie,
I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry
When I heard the evil you intended,
And knew, you’d got wrong, the reason why.”

“I am a pagan, as it happens,
And know about the phases of the moon.
And so, though you were born in darkness,
You actually were also born at noon.”

“This probably is what confused your mother,
The reason that it was dark for your birth,
The moon caused a total eclipse of the sun,
And thus darkness descended over the earth.”

The lady put the Black Fay on her lap,
A tear of sympathy fell from her eye,
“And so, poor thing, you lost your friends and mother,
And now, you know the real reason why.”

“Your mother didn’t know what had happened,
At noon, expecting to give birth to you,
Which is why she slowly lost her reason,
And the day fairies did you both eschew.”

The Black Faerie then started sobbing,
And curled up in a ball upon the bed.
“I always felt that I was unfairly treated,
And knowing that, I wish that I was dead!”

At that, the sparkling fairy gave a wriggle,
And asked the maid if she would put her down.
Then, slowly, she went to the Black Faerie,
And gave a gentle tug on her black gown.

The Black Faerie raised a tear-stained face,
And looked the sparkling fairy in the eye,
Who lifted the crying Faerie to her feet,
And chokingly said, “Please try not to cry.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” she told the Faerie,
“You have had to put up with a lot.
Though now you know that you are normal,
I hope, perhaps, you’ll stop your murderous plot.”

The sparkling fay then smiled at the Black Faerie,
Who, through her tears, smiled also,
They then both tightly hugged each other,
And looked like they’d ne’er let each other go.

The Black Faerie turned to face the ******,
And said, “I am quite prepared to die.
I really didn’t want to have to **** you,
I don’t know why my mother said to try.”

The lady said, “You misunderstood her,
She didn’t want you to live all alone.
She wanted you to find a special person,
To be with you, after she had gone.”

“She tried to say, if you lived as a ******,
Then, as a ******, you would die.
Though she left out the personal pronoun,
So on a futile mission you did fly.”

“I don’t know if you really could have killed me,
Though to try, you’d go out of your way.
And I suspect your mother’s time-limit,
Was to make you find a friend without delay.”

“I don’t think that tonight you will die,
On the anniversary of your dark moon.
And now, perhaps, you’ve found a special friend,
So your quest here has granted you a boon.”

Seeing them looking completely right together,
The lady, down upon them both, did smile.
She hoped that they might soon get together,
And to help them, she might have to use some guile.

“You really both do make a lovely couple,
You complement each other in all ways,
Though I suspect, you courageous sparkling fairy,
You won’t be able to both live with your fays.”

“Round my hut I’ve planted many flowers,
Perhaps you two, near them, your home could make.
I would love for you to live here near me,
Won’t you please think on it, for my sake?”

“And now, I am afraid I’m getting tired,
We’ve been awake for most of the night,
And I would like to try and get some sleep,
Before the sun comes up and it gets light.”

“Next to my bed I’ll lay a pillow,
Which you both may use as a bed.
And now I’ll lie down and close my eyes,
I think, by me, enough has been said”

The lady placed a pillow on the floor,
And slowly re-laid down in her bed,
While the fairies, holding hands, flew aloft,
And settled on the pillow, head by head.

She heard them quietly talking to each other,
Though not the actual words that they said,
Then she drifted off to sleep, and dreamed of fairies,
Lying stilly and quiescent in her bed.

She awoke late the next morning,
And wondered what the misplaced pillow meant.
She vaguely remembered something about fairies,
Though put it down to what she had dreamt.

Then stretching and yawning she arose,
Drew back her window curtains and looked out,
When, what she then saw in the garden,
Quite caused her, her senses to doubt.

Every single flower in her garden,
Seemed to have bloomed overnight,
With larger than normal efflorescences,
And overhead, two fairies in full flight.

To her window sill they flew together,
And stood together, standing side by side.
Then told the lady they would like to live here,
While she stared at them with eyes open wide.

It hadn’t been a dream after all,
What happened in the night had been real.
After many years on her own,
She now had two friends who would be leal.

And so, together they all settled down,
The fairies living with her in her home.
She kept a careful eye upon them both
Though sometimes the fays would go and roam

They helped the wild creatures in the wood,
And kept the garden looking nice and neat.
They’d be out by day and by night,
And almost worked themselves off their feet.

Then one day they said to the maid,
That both of them were ever so sorry,
They had to go away for some time,
Though would be coming back, so do not worry.

Every day the lady looked for them,
And kept hoping that they were both all right.
Somehow, she made it through the day,
Then cried herself to sleep every night.

She very nearly gave up hope,
What kept her going was they’d said they’d be back.
She tried her best to keep things going right,
Though to her, things were looking black.

Late one night, she roused from her sleep.
The window ope’d, she thought it was the wind.
Then, irrupting through her casement came,
Her two fays, with two more close behind.

The Black and sparkling fairies lead the way,
Followed by two fairies, very small.
The lady sat, and looked at them in wonder,
From her truckle bed set by the wall.

The Black Faerie settled on her bed,
The sparkling fairy followed close behind.
“We’re sorry to have stayed away so long,
We’ve brought our children with us, please don’t mind.”

At that, the lady looked quite astounded,
“Have you been off with fairy men to dally?”
The two fairies laughed with amusement,
“There are no male fairies, you big wally!”

“We thought, as a pagan, you’d have known
How we maintain our fairy nation.
Female with female fairies manage,
By a process of adosculation.”

The Black Faerie lifted one small fay.
“This lovely dark child is mine.
We’ve decided that we’ll call her Midnight,
To remind us of what’s passed this syne.”

The sparkling fairy lifted up the other.
“And for this blonde beauty I’m to blame.
We could not decide what to call her,
And hoped that you might choose for her a name.”

The lady just sat there in stunned silence,
Quite unable to make any sound.
Oh so happy they had come back to her,
With evidence of the love they’d found.

Once more overcome with emotion,
She let her happy tears flow,
And said, “Please let me think about it,
As soon as I’ve got a name, you’ll know.”

“I’m so very glad you’ve returned,
It was lonely being on my own,
Now you’re back here with your children,
I won’t ever have to feel alone.”

The lady dried her tears, and then smiled,
“I should never have felt so forlorn,
This is a new start for us all,
So I think your child should be named....Dawn.”

Then they all started to laugh and cry together,
Each fairy contented with her child,
And they all lived happily ever after,
In the middle of the forest wild.
*
Grahame Upham
February 2014.
jeffrey conyers Sep 2019
We, all have friendship with others that many can't comprehend.
Some which many think about be a bad influence.
But only if your weak-minded does their ways affects you.

Upon Leave It To ******, you saw something worth assessing.
When Eddie Hassell came around the Cleavers?
All manners kicked back within him.

What schemes of manipulation he used upon others?
Seem to vanish around Wally parents.
Sometimes Wally ways rubbed off on the mischief Eddie.
But hardly any wickedness upon Wally.

If good only hang with good?
Somewhere you become aware of the wicked of them?
Yes, bad ways step in within the good breed.

There just something about the way we raised.
Some children won't be lead astray in any way.
They know of the price they face and decision they face.
apeitz May 2011
once there was a worm named timmy tiny tail
he had a very unusual, and very tiny tail
he had but one friend, sandy the snail
who had a very *****, and grimy tail
together they complained about how they had the gayest of tails
but they weren't as bad as the 29 polka dotted ***** whales
who were at the moment swimming around the pacific, eating tiny little krill
till wally the whale got in snappy the sharks grill
then snappy got snippy and tore wally's **** up
and finished it off with some tea from his favorite tea cup
and so the 28 polka dotted ***** whales wailed for their friend
as timmy and sandy ******* about not having a decent looking end
clever
LD Goodwin Feb 2013
Coffee with Wally,
someone who truly gets me.
No cream, no sugar.
Harrogate,TN  February 2013
*For my dear friend Wally*
Brent Kincaid Nov 2016
His mother was suicidal
His father was patricidal
His siblings all fratricidal
They fractured his parietal.
His acumen was impractical
While his mien was didactical
His morals were retractible
And his religion was heretical.

He longed to be a celebrity
And wished for its celerity
To skip the serendipity
And fork over his luminosity.
But it seems that synchronicity
Paired up with idiosyncrasy
In a natural form of complicity
And waylaid him with complicity.

He moaned that he was qualified
And not the least bit mollified
To be so soundly criticized
That they could not recognize
By those who were so glassy eyed
A plenipotentiary, very wise
Who appears before their very eyes
Who they would gladly plagiarize
Even while they ostracize.

He can’t achieve equanimity
When so many hold their enmity
And treat him so outrageously
In ignoring his magnanimity.
After all, is there anyone living
Who is so astoundingly forgiving
Than he by the simple act of giving
And letting them go on living?
st64 Mar 2013
Gramophone records play
Scratch, play, scratch, play
Soft in the background, edging into me
Slow and easy, gentle waves.


Granny, play me La Wally again
Turning, spinning, round and round
Take me away on audio-pearls
Peace whirls me on a magic dance.


Pappa, hide the ugly monsters
Keep me safe in Noddy and Pat tales
I'd rather be caught in merry tune
Than in webs of yonder folk out there.


Momma, put on Golden Slumbers
"Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby"
Yes, I find my way homeward...


Gramps, sing me a Holliday song
The kind that lifts one so high
With Mammy and Pappy blessing all of me
Yes my happiness, I've got me own!


Dear Heaven, open windows and walls
Swirling, flowing its beautiful energy
Sore needed peace and beauty
That no eye can truly see.


Star Toucher, 02 March 2013
Robert Scherer Jan 2010
'mma comm'ner!
'mma comm'ner!
Whild it
Port 'rhet above,
'im down
F'rsaken.

Afore'd!
Allay'd!

De' the round,
De' the Bayck

Brent of stick
Wally a'bock
Rayne
A'doon, a'tunya, Mekker'un

A 'block, a moon.
The Rhine, 'ya dance 'ya
In the Maine
Yal 'amo
Tor'red ett'on
Fer tha'dance 'ya
Fer tha'roon

Allek 'un daree'ya
Mag'k ung Garee 'ya.
captured in the psych ward, the delusional helper


ron cooper is having memories of his time he had his appendix at royal melbourne hospital

when this delusional marta like man is admitted to his HDU and ron had to take good care of him

by asking him, who do you want to help, the man said, i want to help feed the hungry and ron asked

how are you going to help like that, the man said, i can cook a meal a day, and if i have no helpers

i will do it myself and ron asked, yeah, do you realise you will be rushed off your feet and the man yelled

at ron, SHUT UP YA BIG WALLY and ron started having these visions of him yelling at the doctor who

wanted to take his appendix out and talked to a social worker about it and as he was doing that, the nurses

got a name out of him, but the name was jesus claus, and then the man said, my parents are heavily into christmas

and seeing their last name was claus, they called me jesus, and the nurses went away to work on what medications

jesus claus needs to be on, whilst talking to the social worker who said it might be a good idea to play with him as if he is

making a difference, whether he is or not and at lunch time, ron thought jesus was not fit for the lunch room, so ron bought it into

his room saying, here is your lunch, or helpers need lunch so they can help many people and jesus said, can you give a pass out

so i can council some of these people, involved in this school shooting and ron gave him a plastic card with nothing on it and

told jesus, that every time you want to help someone use the trillion dollars on this card, and jesus asked, how about i have a computer in here

and ron gave him a broken down eftpos machine and told jesus to swipe it in this, and then you watch the news, and they make money

it is all you, ok, jesus said, ok i will help everyone with the doctors money, but ron was risking his job, and had to keep tabs of jesus’s goings on

and another thing, ron asked jesus, we want to help you help people, so i need to know how you do it, and ron gave jesus some risperidal and largactil

to calm jesus’s delusions and in  about 1 hour, jesus was too busy helping to eat and when ron came to collect the lunch tray, jesus said

if you ant to help me, give money to the dead and alive victims of the tahiti plane crash, you see i gave them $1,000,000 and they made i and a quarter million

and ron, they need your help and ron said, ok, when i get home, i will give them some loot to save them and ron asked jesus if he wants to join this group and

jesus said, i am too busy, and ron said fine and walked away and after the group was over, ron bought jesus his lunch and said to him

jesus claus, who are you helping now and jesus said there was this kid who was kidnapped by a gangster and i have to pay the ransom out of your money

but this is fun, ron, can i have some more and ron said, ok, i will put money on the card when i get to my office,ok

jesus thanked ron, as ron went back to his office knowing that he is just feeding the dilution into him and when it became time to collect his dinner plate

ron said, my mum and dad and uncle rob told me, you can only help people if you help yourself as well, so ron said, i need to borrow your helping card and machine

and jesus said, i know why you are doing this, you are jealous of my power and my talent, i have this gift of helping people, and ron said, your not helping, you are a marter

and jesus yelled  WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME A MARTER FOR, YA **** and ron said, because you feel your helping with broken technology and this made jesus very angry

and ron had to get out of there but when he came back to jesus’s room, the TV was thrown against the wall and he started yelling at ron which made him get the needle and

inject some ******, so they can give the medication to him, and after they injected him with ******, they were forced to inject him with risperidal and largactil to help him relax and calm his delusions

and when ron left, he asked the nurses to call him, if he gets angry and at 4 in the morning ron who was burping pizza, was forced to come to his HDU because jesus was walking around with a dinner knife

yelling and threatening people and ron gave him a shot of ****** and refused to go home because he has so many drugs inside of him, ya know he could die, and as the next day passed

jesus was ok and ron gave jesus risperidal at lunch and went away and gave him more risperidal at night with largactil and then while he was feeling tired, ron bought

a hamburger and a beer and went home to lose himself in prim time TV'
grace Aug 2017
today i kept thinking i saw you,
with your ***** blond hair and
awkward smile
your self confident stride
and sense of style

my heart jumped each time
at the mere idea of your presence,
as my body has yet to unlearn
its reaction to you

every time i see you
you never flinch or even glance my way
you walk closer
and then suddenly
it's not
you

my eyes flit down
i realise i was staring
my mouth involuntarily makes
a small disappointed 'o'
i realise i was holding my breath

but the very next second
my eyes flick back
and imagine your presence all over
again

no matter how far away you are,
miles, hours or oceans away
im still determined to find
you in every crowd
db cooper Dec 2014
It was new years day
I remember it like it was yesterday
We had a birthday party for my nephew
Everyone was there and I loved you
I told them all what I would do
I'd ask to marry you
You said yes
I was pleased
But I remember from then on
It was diseased
I loved you
More than you ever me
I couldn't help the jealousy
But that night I caught you
At the Wally Mcgees
That made me absolutely crazy
All I could think about;
Was that **** Beatles song
Where they sat on a cornflake
And pigs ran from a gun
  
I couldn't help what I done
I had to do it,
You were causing me too much pain

But I ended it
My pain I mean
With a knife in her vein
I guess you could say
That I was **Mad Hatter
This is fiction writing.. I have not killed anyone nor do I wear a hat, although I may be a tad mad.
martin Dec 2012
There was a young man from Ceylon                                    Another man from Sri Lanka
Whose turkey went on and on                                                Penned an original tanka
Each piece on his plate                                                            ­ With himself he was pleased
He dutifully ate                                                              ­           But his friends they just teased
Till every morsel was gone                                                       And called him a silly old....wally


Turkey in soup, turkey in curry,turkey in sandwiches when in a hurry,turkey for breakfast,turkey for tea, fed up with turkey soon I shall be. Ways to eat turkey different and clever, man this turkey goes on for ever. Can we have something else now please, put the rest in containers to freeze.
A splendid old man from Argyle
Spoke of his ghosts with a smile
'They're like you and me
So I just leave them be
You get used to them after a while'
LD Goodwin Jan 2013
Several million years have past,
since the cosmos dumped it's trash.
But the book said
that it didn't happen that way.

And as this minstrel looks around
at this "drunk on ancient dogma" town
wanting Heaven, all they do is pray.

Celtic faces black with coal,
patiently await the dole.
Smoke and cough and cough and smoke, to Wally World they do fly.

For there's a caustic cross upon their hill,
protected by a local still.
Or is it the other way around in the wettest county, that is dry.

Who is this vagabond I see,
he walks the streets in search of thee?
With the stench of cheap addiction in the air.

While rats guard a yellow stream,
Arthur's long forgotten dream.
He mumbles verses, but no one sees him there.

And down at Ruby's so many more
just can't seem to find the door.
They use to know the game, but have forgotten how to play.

Wild Bill you old crazy sot,
"The Seven" have, but you have not.
Maybe you can show us, show us all the way.

Dr. Stangename counts his jack,
prescribing hits of "hillbilly smack".
Let's pull a tooth and buy another day of cheap grace.

Watch high above the S.S.D.I.,
a once frozen war machine will fly.
While Arthur's dream crumbles into space.

I climbed The Pinnacle to find,
the fallen star had left behind
a bowl of cryptic confusion, guilty illusions in it's wake.

I told a lady with a PHD,
"Now woman in Afghanistan are free".
But she just sneered and said, "for heaven's sake!"

Listen you can hear the swords,
of the ancient feudal lords.
Clans of clans, left over ways of thinking.

Children, bearing children, beg.
While "The Seven" sit upon the keg.
Deeming them not wise enough for drinking.

It wasn't always this way.
Arthur almost had his hay day.
That's when the devil's broken promise beget a faithless town.

And in the years when King Volstead reigned,
some rode on the gravy train.
The ***** were in their court, and they sold his Crown.

I hope someday this rhyme is moot,
and we all get to share the loot.
And they let the ghost of "Ragtime Harney" play.

For it clearly isn't working here,
just like a party with no beer.
There's no reason for anyone to stay.

Up the road it's "a hundred wet",
and I'll see you there I bet.
You'll give them the prize, that you could have won.

And while you smoke and spit and chew,
power-ball and bingo too.
The lesser of the evils, like self righteous boll weevils,
fearing truth upheavals just like this one.

This is a hell of a way to get to Heaven,
livin' your life at the mercy of "The Seven".
Dying to get out. Dying, you stay in.

While "The Seven" get rich, by keeping you poor.
The keepers of the keys to the barrel house door.
And don't tell me that's no sin.
This is a hell of a way to get to Heaven,
a hell of a way to get in.
Harrogate, TN    2004
John Bartholomew Jan 2019
It doesn't take much, for me to be late in the morning
A bad nights sleep, another day at work, it can be oh so boring
20 minutes, does it really matter, in the grand scheme of things
Jump in the car, radio on,
Same DJ with the X-Factor wannabes wearing their bling
Its a short trip but can still be delayed once more
Further down the road by a woman who makes my head sore....

Hitting the roundabout 2 miles from anywhere
The traffic backs up to give us all a timely scare
What on Earth could delay us on this trip to a place of ethical sanction
As without work our lives would halt without function
Bills to pay and food to buy, we need the income from some money tree
What is holding me up as already late,
Maybe set my alarm earlier but hey, what will be will be
The slow jaunt on the bumper to bumper ride
Its only 10 minutes more but time is not on my side.....

And there she is,
My delay
Luminous in stature holding the road like shes some traffic God
Chatting away to the ladies as if she's PC Plod
Holding that lollipop on her black and yellow stick
She's really starting to get on my wick
Some of us have places to be old lady like she even cares
Kids crossing the road, go play Chicken, like they'd even dare
Really, all in all, she is doing a good job
And there's me rushing and acting like a bit of a......wally!
As if I did knock a child over I'd forever be sorry
Even when it rains she puts up her brolly
Stop the parent and kids from always getting wet
I suppose in the end she is the safer bet
Maybe I will always be late but nothing I can't sort with a brew,
Instead of getting,

Lollipop Lady Blues

JJB
That's the story of my life; I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop - Marilyn Monroe

I don't like lollipops - Eoin Colfer
John Hayes Dec 2020
A short telephone message
came from the vet’s office:
“The ashes are ready.”
Two weeks before, “Wally” snapped
at my hand, frightened,
his hind legs paralyzed.
It was the end of a long illness.
I cradled him in a towel.
They were kind to us.
I told them he was a good dog;
that he was now in doggy heaven.
Their sympathy card is still on the refrigerator.

A wild boar colored mini-Daschund,
his ******* called him “Stormin’ Norman”
because he was the litter runt;
but we named him after
the wallaby he resembled,
and because he was a “soft” dog.

His sister, Wheedl, the alpha dog,
would try to steal his food.
She was the only one he ever growled at.
He never tilted his head, perplexed at humans,
like dogs who don’t understand us.
If we were leaving the house,  
he just looked away, resigned.
When a dropped biscuit flew under the refrigerator,
he knew where it would come out
if we hit it with a wooden spoon.
He would stand on that spot,
while his sister, a more typical dog,  
would stand where it went in.

Wheedl is now lost.
She can’t hear, and stays very close.

We have returned our gift to mother earth.
Lead K Jan 2021
Festival time - A favorite time of year
When Mothers and Fathers sing the their children as gifts
Dance in the love of Old Grandpa Wally
Even when he can't find his socks, or sits on the dog
Aunt Dorcas bought the tickets to the Fantasy Festival
So all the good little Girls and Boyos can play!

Open your arms
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your family
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your Daddy
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your Mommy
To the Fountain of Clowns

Will you go with me to ride the Spring Mares?
Or see the sights at the Showy-Magic Tent?
Maybe learn  what the Pizzazz Wizard sees for our Tomorrows?
Maybe a kiss at the Promisatorium
All of your Sister's dreams can die and be born again
If your tired, rest your head on Brother's lap and take a drink

Open your eyes
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your heart
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your insides
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your mouth
To the Fountain of Clowns

Laughing and Crying are the flavors of love
The scars on your heart will open its flowers
Look deep in the eyes of the children who surround you
Ask them for love with your arms and your tears
The sun in the sky was meant for your Heart
Maybe the Queen of Summer will never end

Open your past
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your future
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your body
To the Fountain of Clowns
Open your heart
To the Fountain of Clowns
Take a walk with me to the festival grounds - Let us see what magic we can make!
Mike Hauser Jun 2013
Alright all you pigeon chests
Came the sound of thunder from the open door
As Big Bad Bart replaced the space
Giant mountain man of lore

Making his way into the bar
Sweeping Nancy boys out of his way
Stepping up to the the jukebox
Kicking it till some good ole country boy music played

This mountain man has made it his goal
To grab hold and unsissify
Any Wimpy Wally's
That happen to catch his manly eye

He started off his conquest
Out in the great North wood
First stop The Red Eye Back Door Saloon
Need I explain the name to you

He went in with his moral barrels a blazing
But there wasn't much he could do
Village people the only band on the jukebox
Y.M.C.A. being the only tune

He didn't let that little nitch stop him
Or slow him down by any means
Giving America back to the menly men
And not the mousey men with their girly dreams

Till the day that Bart locked eyes with Stanly
In that San Francisco flower bar
Those two haven't left each others side
Going through life now arm and arm

They spend their time skipping through fields of pansies
Giggling freely hand in hand
The way Bart now feels this was meant to be
Mia Mono, Man to Man

Bart's lumberjack buddies can't believe it
And don't know what to think of their friend
Although they all secretly admit
He does look good in those Hot Pink Hot Pants
My apologies to...
The Gays
The Mountain Men
The Lumber Jacks
The makers of Hot Pink Hot Pants
Did I leave anyone out?
If so I apologize for that too!
Walmart Heaven

You can find them coast to coast
from the north and to the south
a chain of retail stores we
could never live without.
For the majority it's Walmart,
but Wally World to some,
a place we visit often
to get our shopping done.
There's always a surprise as you're
greeted at the door,
some of them unpleasant
some you simply can't ignore.
From bedroom slippers to stretch
pants you hoped you'd never see,
there's always something different
such endless possibilities.
You can get your hair and nails done,
eyes examined too,
cash your paycheck, file your taxes,
Walmart does it all for you.
Maybe that's the beautify of this
famous retail chain,
that keeps us coming back
time and time again.

Written By Kathy J Parenteau
Copyright © Jan 2014
All Rights Reserved
Happy shopping!
Chris Slade Dec 2018
(a poem I wrote for Auntie Annie’s funeral).

Well you’ve all taken your time… while I’ve been waiting here.
I’m about to trip the light fantastic in all this sparkly gear.
And, because the aches and pains have gone, I’m about to strut my stuff.
I’m dressed in Rose Organza with feathers and pink fluff.

I’m surprised at how well I feel settling into this ‘other’ side.
I’m sure I’ll calm down after some frivolity, then take things in my stride.
For now though the spirit is upbeat testing my wings; making appearances near & far.
First though, a dance contest, tonight at Bridlington Spa!

Yes, I’ll be tripping the light fantastic… I’ve two partners in the wings.
Both husbands in smart tuxedos, brushing up their moves and things.
And I’m hoping we’ll cut a dash on that shimmering stairway to heaven…
Well, Wally was probably a six point five. And *** (my first love)… A SEVEN!

But seriously…my body had reached the bitter end and my memory was little better.
Who was who  - and what was what - was touch and go, and… let a
ninety two year old tell you with chair, zimmer frame or stick…
that the thought of stepping comfortably - toward that light… FANTASTIC!

… and even more seriously…

I’ll look out for all you kids… with a word or voice on the wind as it whistles through the trees.
Catch a glimpse in a crowd… “Was that?” NEVER?!. But It might be just my scent on the breeze.
But for us to be in touch again, however brief, we must be ready and enthusiastic.
I’ll prompt you to think of me as I trip toward that light… FANTASTIC!
I seem to be developing a reputation amongst family and friends as one who churns out a poem after a relative or friend has passed away... With certain folk from in and around my life it's a natural... It is a compulsion!
S E L Nov 2013
once long ago, a crab and a fish met at the sea edge
they had need of something
neither knew themselves
until the other placed it in light

to be saved from the clutches of man
who came every day with nets so wide
deep knotted and ever ready
to catch the sea bounty in one swoop

then came the wally waves
and washed them away
back into the deep sea
where hidden treasures waited

see me, see you
no biting of heads
no hacking of sides

no?
“The usual….perfessor”…asked the bartender.
“Not tonight Sam….celebrating….gonna hike it up a notch”….”Something from a bottle this time”.
“Maybe a PBR” he laughed, “…instead of the usual…draft PBR…bottle….”.
“On it’s way”….”why the upgrade”…”…it’s a whole twenty five cents more on the tab” laughed the bartender.

“Tonight, my dear sir, Tonight….was the opening of the school play…and I survived…barely….but, I survived..and I’m here to tell the tale”…”so….Tonight….we splurge!”.

“I forgot” said Ted, the barkeep. “I knew it was coming up….but, well…you are here…and not cowering in a corner somewhere, curled up in the fetal position…so, I am assuming that this year went better than last years version of “Death of a Salesman”.?”

“Better? it would not have been to tough to be better than that catastrophe…it was the best…THE BEST….out of all of the previous school plays…I couldn’t be more proud of how it turned out…..**** it..PBR and a chaser…it was that freaking good!”

“Really? In all of the years you’ve been teaching at the school you have never…NEVER come in here this happy about how the show went. I can’t believe it!”

“Don’t…It was crap. What I just did was acting. What they did, was crap. You know we did “Death of A Salesman”. Classic play. Great play. It’s been done by some of the best actors in the industry. Then, there was our version. It should have been called “Death of A Theater Arts Program”.

“Sorry to hear that Professor,  two more?”
“**** right, and keep them coming.”

“I was a working actor for years before I took this gig. I wasn’t great, but, I got by. These kids, I just don’t know, I just don’t get it.
The lights went up and they just lost it, it was more Monty Python than Arthur Miller. I mean, he must be spinning in his grave at some incredible speed right now. These kids made my brain hurt”

“It couldn’t have been that bad Professor, I mean, they did all right in rehearsal, didn’t they?”

“Sure, no family watching, no pressure at all…they did fine. But, once those lights went on and the curtains went up, it was every man for himself, total deer in the headlights on stage.  And through it all, I couldn’t do a **** thing except stand stage left thinking, “So, this is what the Captain of the Titanic felt like that fateful night”.

At this point in the conversation, the door opens and a man walks in. He hangs up his  overcoat and joins the men at the bar.

“****…what are you doing here?”

“You two friends?” asks the bartender

“Principal Paul Jackson” says the newcomer. “From…”

“Let me guess” said the bartender, “from the same school The Professor teaches at?”

“Two more…and one for him” says the teacher.

“Yes, that school. The Professor, I like that, I can get on board with that”.

“So, what brings you here? I mean, the play is over, the kids ******, and let me guess…oh, maybe you are here to dump on me, and give me my walking papers in private”

“******, I wouldn’t go that far Professor, I can call you that can’t I? It wasn’t great, but, I must say, after what we’ve had before, it was okay. I mean they tried, they were engaged, and nobody cried on stage like they did when we did Little Women”.

“Were you watching the same thing I was? They called ***** Loman “Wally”, eleven times….ELEVEN times!!! Engaged? they were so far off script, there was no way in the world we could get back. I mean, I tried, I really tried, and I thought we had it down. But, tonight, those lights went up and it was total deer in the headlights on stage, for each and every kid”.

The drinks arrive, and the bartender leaves the men alone.

“*****, Wally, what does it matter?” They winged it, and got through. I mean, it could have been worse, but, they forged ahead”.

“Forged ahead…Washington forged ahead  crossing the Potomac, these kids, wrote a whole new play on stage in real time. Nothing made sense. It was hard to watch. I was waiting for the audience to leave, which, I think…may have happened, had they been given a
chance with an intermission”.

“See…right there, nobody left. That is a plus. You have to admit that is a win right there…nobody left, and that sir is a winning program. They had to see where it went, what happened and Professor, what comes next?”

“You can’t be serious? or are you just being facetious? “, said the Professor.
“Oh, I am serious, deadly serious. You weren’t expected to put on an award winning play, just to entertain those who attended and most important, to be able to put on the play. Most times, it never sees the light of day, teachers quit the production, students quit, hell, I quit…twice. The goal was to put on a production and you did. It wasn’t great, hell, it wasn’t even good, but, it was entertaining in the way people drive slowly by a fire or a train wreck sort of way, and you did it.”

“Bartender, two more beers, make that three….one for you and more shots” yelled the Professor.

“Start picking next year’s show and no matter what happens…save these seats for the after party”.
Phil Lindsey Sep 2015
Fly by night,
Or the seat of your pants
Hang on tight,
May I have the next dance?
Take a deep breath,
Or a load off your feet,
Hey pretty mama,
May I sit in this seat?

Snoopy and Sloopy and Sloop John B too
Don’t you know
I think I love you?
All night long,
Nothing else can compare
Mickey Mouse, Elvis, Frankie, Annette
Down on the corner, cool
Cigarette.

All grown up
With no where to go
I left it to ******
But he didn’t know
Wally and Eddie
Were out selling drugs
Popeye and Brutus
Were two vicious thugs.

In the Fifities and Sixties:
It was hard to keep up
“They” fed us the Kool Aid
We drank from the cup.
Kent State and Woodstock
And a man on the moon,
Kaleidoscope childhood,
Ended too soon.
Phil Lindsey 9/16/15
Matt Jun 2015
Too much wine
Has got me feelin' fine!
No I'm not drunk

But feelin' some funk

Listening to bluegrass now

A few minutes ago
I picked up Wally our dachsund
Waved his paw at ma

Oh what a show!

Wally says hello
Yes our dachsund says hello

I wave his little paw
Hello there folks he says

Don't be shy
Give pettin' him a try!
Perig3e Dec 2010
Let's be Frank,
Bruce, or Wally,
You're in the loo,
A modern lad,
You want your jollies,
In one hand you scroll you're iPad,
In the other you're texting,
"? what I - M doing?!"
All rights reserved by the author
HI GUYS AND GALS

today i did a tournament of bowling at belconnen bowl, it replaces the usual bowling weekend

and my scores were pretty well awesome, well, that is what i think, anyway

i got 128 and 157 and 141 and 148 and 138 and 135 and 161 and 127 and 162

and i had few members of my team getting 200 games which was cool, maybe a medal, i don’t know, have

to wait and see


here is a poem


i had fun at bowling

it was fun it was fun

i had fun at bowling

i bowled pretty good

i got 23 strikes, which was awesome, dude

i got a good number of spares

and so many near misses

even a dismal 3 near the end

but i am happy a very happy chappy

bowling was fun, bowling was rad

i enjoyed myself today, and i kicked some button yeah bowling, was awesome if you take a look at it

bow bow

it is fun just bowling my parramatta eels ball down the alley

i am not a wally

i have no dolly, but i say

cool man, i had an awesome day today

and everybody looked like having fun

you see it is radically awesome to get 23 strikes

oh yeah, mate





































9.00 SQUAD


FIRST GAME




1              X             29

2              X             48

3           9 -              57

4           9 -              66

5           5 3             74

6           7 1             82

7           7 /             101

8            9 -            110

9            8 1            119

10          8 1            128

TOTAL SCORE         128





SECOND GAME





1                X               30

2                X               56

3                X               75

4             6 3               84

5             5 4               93

6             9 /              111

7             8 1             120

8                X             139

9             7 2              148

10           7 2               157

TOTAL SCORE          157




THIRD GAME    





1               6 -                  6

2              7 2                15

3                 X                35

4               9 /                 51

5               6 3                60

6                8 /                 77

7                7 -                  84

8                7 /                 104

9                   X                124

10            9 / 7                 141

TOTAL SCORE                141




10.30 SQUAD





FIRST GAME    






1                  7 2                       9

2                  7 /                      29

3                       X                     54

4                       X                     69

5                   5 -                       74

6                   8 1                       83  

7                      X                     102

8                    8 1                     111

9                    9 /                       131

10             X 7 -                         148

TOTAL SCORE                         148



SECOND GAME




1                  8 /                          19

2                  9 -                          28

3                  9 /                          46

4                  8 /                          66

5                     X                        85

6                   9 -                        94

7                   9 -                      103

8                   9 -                       112

9                     X                        130

10                  8 -                        138




THIRD GAME




1                    7 /                     17

2                     7 /                     37

3                        X                    57

4                      9 /                     71

5                      4 5                     80

6                       9 -                     89

7                       7 2                    98

8                        8 1                   107

9                        8 1                    116

10                   7 / 9                      135

TOTAL SCORE                            135





2.00 SQUAD




FIRST GAME




1                        X                   27

2                        X                   45

3                     7 1                    53

4                     9 /                     72

5                      9 /                     88

6                      6 -                     94

7                      8 /                    114

8                         X                   134

9                        9 /                   152

10                    8 1                     161

TOTAL SCORE                          161




SECOND GAME




1                          X                     13

2                       3 -                       16

3                          X                      35

4                        9 -                      44

5                        7 2                      53

6                        9 /                       72

7                        9 -                       81

8                        9 /                     101

9                           X                    119

10                      7 1                     127

TOTAL SCORE                           127




THIRD GAME





1                           X                       20

2                       9 /                         40

3                            X                      60

4                         9 /                        79

5                         9 /                        96

6                         7 /                      115

7                         9 /                      133

8                         8 -                      141

9                         5 -                       146

10                    6 / 6                       162

TOTAL SCORE                              162
Carlo C Gomez Jan 2021
"I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor.
That's my dream. It's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering,
along the edge of a straight razor … and surviving."
–  Col. Kurtz, Apocalypse Now
~

Remember
the golden age, Wally ***?
And the songs
my mother taught me?

We sang about what was.
Or might never be.

Like permanency.
Distinction comes
out of stiff and frozen silences.
Take it with
a spoonful of disdain.
Take it in the eye.
Actors are like breakfast cereals.
They're obvious
and according to taste.
I stopped needing them
long ago.

Beautiful
Tallulah.
Beautiful,
"less to this than
meets the eye"
Tallulah,
dismiss me,
that I may be free
to find Tennessee.

Open windows
and closing doors.
Always a breeze,
but never a way out.
Right on cue
the cards shuffle.

Butter and cotton *****,
tricks of the trade.
I mumble to be heard.
I am legend
to disciples
of the Method.

I wear my friends to bed,
burn them like newspaper.
They call me "Bud"
—cigarettes at dawn
after devouring the night.
And now my song ebbs,
as the stylus hits the leadout groove.

Tomorrow, I'll be better.
Today, I'm just me.
David Ehrgott May 2015
Hey Hollywood!
How are you ******?
All of you!
Talentless Phonies
All of you!
Fakes!
Acting?
A Talent?
So sick of your lies
Pretending to be
A Somebody
STOP kidding Yourselves
Not one could compare
Not one
The Somebody died
And you couldn't act if your lives depended on it
All of you are
Nobodies
Useless
Actors/******  (pick one)
Trollops
Taxi Dancers have more skill
Eight Children
With five wives
And all you do is cheapen him
He was referring to Wally
Not some phallus
IDIOTS
Somebody never pretended
to act
Somebody never was trained
to act
Somebody once dropped his pants
An Act?
No
Just bad behavior
Bud
Somebody knew how to behave
(take note ******)  (did you get it right?)
A Methodist?
Maybe NOT religious
But so much
Better than some cheap act
Somebody behaved the Best
(even if he did love ***)
Julian Aug 2020
Articulate Throwback (Amazing Rap that Doesn't Get Enough Respect)
Fielding an eclipsed Jack the Ripper Sun
Yielding dismissal garish, begotten The Matrix smokin’ gun
Wielding a firebrand skittish
Skills levied an intolerable tax by quisling quoted British
Stunting on heyday levity marksman of primes
Flogged for flagrant dragons sinking nickels and dimes aimed beatific sublime
Flowing like centripetal orbit  galvanized by riddled spirits dashed in secondary impetus of reason over rhyme
Littoral swank partial to Taylor Series of dedications Speak Now peaks livid with fumiducts of crippled sheep blandished for reach
Apologies invited always welcome for a kitsch debased by universal theaters yet united for Payable on Death singing the deceit of receipts impeached
Islanders flooding suicides punning that a sunken treasure is barbs smuggling
Otiose on ribald corsairs blinkered by the rhombos of speculation thunder itself about lightning starts wondering
Where a City by the Bay shining on a Hill of travesties of decay tanks for domesticated Negros that flashbangs got to slay
To the wistful shaken house music garnishing the prey of prayer on heavy pulls of quotable 415 hay-day
The wrinkled stray dog never  far from *****
Slapsticks against the tribunes awaiting for meteoric functions of a recessive allele of a dominant comet
Ludacris flickers dancing in dormant revelry because On Top, Just Let Go..I am honest and On It
To the milk of harvested stars glaring at tankers and garish broken FaceMash scars teetotalers scatter with Thursday crashing into glass shards
Black fame is a white epiphany of infamy designated by name
Of the craven coltish spinsters who market the crackling whiplash of sanity apportioned to the regaled insufflation of blame
Streaky on a jejune Diggity hapless hop of Kumbayas etched by Trailer Park’s scalding flop
Glorifying a Gangester heir to titanic humbled beginnings chockablock divested to Kennedy’s dead Candy Shop
Impressive rags of riches of counterfeit tags blundering with lazy LASER Tag of sharks too bellicose to earn a pitfall pittance of swag
Trippin’ by tripwires too flippant to be flippin’ on known graves sidesplitters of treecheese yaggots grimaced on madcaps of bottlecaps swimming in ether of money too happy for House of Pain rags of gag orders intrepid because some blood is Bad
****** drapes of tapestries too woven on Ducking Badger duck tape
Pretending not even a slightest twinge of celebrity faked is a tantamount affliction to Kobe’s escape
Time to rig the 7/11 notoriety of a caper drawl in Cape Town Blue Sky Action can barely offer scrape
Let them eat cake and heads roll like Nicholas Cage clairvoyant in mystique quaking like a Quaker parody rank-and-file rancid graveyard creep
Cuz the best in the Business evokes singes of Dre grazed persistence a Space Rover rather than a broken-down drive-by Vegas Cheap Holyfield Jeep
Forgeries in trigonometric time gone haywire because ******* of fools is delicious neutered ballistic wrong with elemental statistic
Armed to the Teeth because twinges of righteousness is strongly established because it elevates truces well-predicted
Reckon the self-aware hive jetsetting with Jive warbles of departure yet to arrive
“Talk” of those fewer in knowledge yet living an invented diatribe
Lil Dicky mumbling his churlish codling vendetta
Too petty on the game like a turgid Mariah Carey Christmas Sweater evaporating on benzo bleats because exaggeration is a measuring stick more prone to delusion than the vapid version of Eddie  Vedder
Ripping through seamstresses of time a delope from impoverished cesspool grime
Certainly not swinging with sockdolagers like Musk as UPS owns insider angles about BitCoin riches scoffing at #11 Sublime
I owe respect to an upstart prescience scowling hatched never against fragile egg-shell minds
He’s the predecessor to the Walter White of cesspool inveterate rivets in hulking pretense of a measured stick lying like Tony  Hawk on the grind drawling on videogame addicts lost to numbers like Wall Street bet on fractions divisible like Scarface on cardinal crime
Blip on the WHIP cackles of clever pasquinade owned by sizzurp of Red Wings demolished like Draper balking at the West Coast ****** of East Coast royalty etiolating on Life After Death because of a teased script of March 26th shining bright like nine-inch nails longer than an exaggerated Dicky loving pollution more than Sina Loa loves bricks
Mad respect to juggernaut Michigan flow, but when you henpeck a rooster fewer regaled Ravens start to sing like Tomorrow’s sung by Sheryl Crow
So attack the kenspeckel hiding like sobriety itching to revel
Even the greats are grating despite prestige owned like Steppenwolf inventing Heavy Metal
Yet the raspy dengonin certainly a curtain call for the moribund smooth competition genius but not square to my elevated level
Time to brush aside, politics is a Velvet Morning rather than an Everest scaffold of glaciers divide
Flourishing Eden of a Seattle worthy of treason on rollercoasters yet to ride
The contumely of charlatans berating brassage is a Lie Boring in Federal Way united against prejudices scowling because Qwersy Mencia is too fraught to enjoy the jeers of a tattered Pride
Past-Tense Quinn in his Chauvin Blue Suit is Queer on The Bends
For a better radio the shatter of the quaff is Damon on the mendlatch for the rights of heroism among men
Applesauce is scary when the cooks are too chary for emoluments of cherry-picked vanity inoculated because hackneyed hacksaws aren’t that scary
To a Rush Hour acclaim that owes a Martian a fair-share of the inviolable degrees above freezing that guarantees the Hang Seng
The cretaceous dinosaur livid in the Fields of Dreams lives to the honor of the author rather a subsidiary prosperity rooting for the same exact team
Credit belongs not to slot-machine jibes of Navy throngs because the sealed pedigree of a Potemkin stonewall ravaged an Atlanta March that Richard Sherman found himself wrong
Ripostes of wavered glory serenade Field’s Medal accolades jaunty with brimstone repartee for persecution of Sing-Sang jailed avuncular Dana Carvey
Crumpled in missives etched decisively by Popcorn paparazzi Lee Harvey Oswald Part Three dinging Reagan’s Drugs because belittled Batman and Robin Harvey Dent is on a defalcation spree
Limited by the gambit of orbit I flex space measured only by perception hourglasses mistake for Dewey Decimal ministry
Because mountebanks of the tramontane canard unscrewed by Donkey’s without the triumph of vindicated colts spew the unwarranted without the warrant of upright parlance
Deflecting the useless caricature of Jezebels they barely even know dancing with fisticuffs choleric with jaundiced illuminati chants of an age bracing for the venom of viper’s of gratuitous pretense in violence because the whittled conscience scourges footloose profligacy in dementia that owns probability rather than certainty but doesn’t stand a chance
A billowing toxic fume of a Trojan Horse of galloped complicity of headless horsemen too scared to even pinprick the average Brett Hume huffs like mad wolverines dancing with Buccaneers for the fidelity of bridled brides with a tailored or sloppy groom
Cowering behind plashy starlets dashed for authenticity too soon
The Red Robin Hood ****** of silhouettes of Caste system indecency is reduced to reductivism in peddled paranoia of Randall Graves confronting his deepest specious tomb
To rogue slipshod miracles of denuded ice for Christopher Reeves Wally World White in Simple Jack owleries of confiscated light they caper encaged Caspergers ergotamine flavored favor uptight
Glaring prince dashing Rusty with ***** for Hummers glazed with donut torus hummus swift with reverend repartee
Sunken sleepless abyss ghosts haunt for quaffs evanescent in backbone bliss incurring parted sight for nebbich sprees
Calculated by persnickety prattle brazen with bravado promontory sparked on the flames of an overhyped hysteria ablaze
Raisins aren’t the determinant of a blinkered starstruck page gilded to amaze
Formidable reform conserved against blasphemies of ****
Withstands the immutable geotaxis of inevitable backfires in limited scourges of scorn
Time to sacrifice the badge earn the primacy of trimleggers making a dash rushing for hourglass sand prominent in fiat flash
In a second a trampoline against a specious marvel is a sour remorse of a crusade turning into protection not found in autumn ash
With autarky righteous rain boogies against bogeys of golfers livid with sensational inane
Lunacy predicated on sensational maudlin labors of Genesis 3:16 birth pain
Incurred upon the toil of the lugubrious heights of teachers that defy tribes and stripes
Soldiering for God without even the slightest nefarious mercenary spite
Because Ledgers cannot be mistaken for legends because petty battles Abandoned Pools named were avoided for Nobel Prizes of moonshot fame never King Kong because 24k magic called the Hang Seng  game enter stage right
The thematic liberation of the freewheeler isn’t a combustion of truckers Ruckers allergic to chattered shame
But the time honored Sevendust defies blisters because a brave heroism leaps into legacy vaunted by cheery repute in winning hegemony against rigged fraud in frigid feral tames
I march to an inaugural chance without a chance of quick inauguration because Junetao is a duck-duck-go childish flicker against Amsterdam Vallon besides the church with a touching spectacle of solidarity beyond temporal Anacondas of deserved blame
An ally to the kitsch the prosperity of Nas is afforded to optimism never so fulgurant because of a bewitched Tik Tok twitch
As the true flock regards the true shepherd the guardian of wonder and the captain avoiding Yellow Submarines because Stayin’ Alive is a prophecy not a febrile contagion of germs pitching tents for flukes insistent on incident rather than honorable to Canada Dry on Strike for better than a bubble gum mumble rap of Lil Pump’s pruned humps for a ******* ghost rider rather than a profaned itch
But the camel survives because the needle doesn’t thrive in a world where God is always Stayin’ Alive to strike a pose for the voguest Jive
“The Seduction” lives and the corruption limps with glib bribery fibs because 2 Timothy 1:7 in autarky is a generous rhyme that  gives and gives
In endless crusade to beat like David the ***** of a poker miracle that stars in a showcase of a life of splendor eternal rather than a cursory kamikaze reckless fib
Its time for  abundance of life to be lived fully to truly find riches in the best possible life winsome in discretion to quake and yet remain immune to a Walgreens of Stonewall myth
Cast not the first stone against the immaculate Giant because everybody is shaking to Bond and Saint Joseph’s guarded wordsmith

— The End —